Chapter Fifty-One

KATYA

T he next day, the medic clears me for the free skate, and soon enough it’s time for us to go on for warmup.

“Your leg okay?” Bryan asks as we turn to smile and wave at the audience along with the rest of our group.

I look up at him. He doesn’t see me do it, and I can tell from the look on his face he’s running through the million ways this could go wrong. But he hasn’t dropped my hand, hasn’t tried to get me to back out.

People used to see me jumping all those combinations and how I shrugged off the shit-talking and say I was fearless. But it wasn’t true. I was afraid. I just covered it up well, and no one ever asked me if I wasn’t. Now, though, I think I’m not. I think there’s something about my partner, and don’t ask me why, but he makes me feel indestructible. I know that he’ll catch me if I fall. He always has.

“Yes, it’s okay,” I finally say, after we circle back to the front so they can announce the start of warm-up. “I think we’re good.”

I land double-footed on the throw. He valiantly tries to keep me spinning in the death spiral, but got stuck directly on top of a rut in the ice and has to bail early. Overall, it’s not all that bad, no falls, no major deductions, but we missed out on a lot of points after my leg bailed on me in the short program.

“Third,” I say, with some finality.

I’m not totally sure how to feel about it, and I don’t know how to feel about not knowing how to feel. Shouldn’t I be angry? Shouldn’t I be upset at myself, at him, for not being good enough?

“Third,” Bryan repeats, then he looks down at me, a puzzled look on his face, like he doesn’t know either. “Huh.”

“I think…” I trail off, meet his eyes. “I think I’m okay with that.”

He squeezes my hand. “I think I am, too.”

LAKE PLACID, NEW YORK

“AND…DONE!” Juliet crows triumphantly, turning the chair around.

I stare back at my reflection in the mirror. “Wow.”

“Wow is right,” Nina says, reaching and flipping my hair out over my shoulders. “You look amazing. It’s so unfair.”

I laugh, fingering the ends of it, trying to soak in the different girl looking back at me. I feel…different, but not. I feel like me. Take that, Tatyana.

“Oh my god, he’s coming,” Nina says excitedly, hopping forward to hide me just as Bryan walks in.

“Um…what’s goin’ on?” I can hear him ask, clearly confused as to why there are three extremely giggly girls staring at him, one of whom is hidden behind the others.

“I’m too impatient for this,” Juliet blurts, jumping out of the way and spinning the chair around.

“Surprise?” I say, smiling.

His jaw drops, eyes popping out of his head. “You’re…”

“Gorgeous?” Juliet offers, and Nina chimes in with, “Beautiful? Insanely hot?”

“Blonde,” Bryan says, dumbstruck, making me giggle.

“It was about time for a change,” I reply. Understatement of the century.

“You let them dye your hair?” he asks me in disbelief. “You, the biggest control freak I’ve ever met?”

“Juliet’s trained,” I say defensively. “She showed me the license.”

“I had a lot of free time after I retired,” Juliet says with a laugh.

“Juliet Uma Campbell, assistant coach, ex-Olympic ice dancer and hairstylist extraordinaire,” Nina says, waggling her brows.

Bryan throws his hands up. “Consider me proven wrong.”

“To be fair, I was worried it’d turn out slightly green like it did the time you did mine,” Nina admits, and Juliet groans.

“It was one time!”

“Yeah, and it was not temporary!”

“It turned out fine, didn’t it?” Juliet points out, and I grin.

“Yes. Yes, it did. Thank you.”

She smiles back. “Anytime.”