73. Zane

73

ZANE

I've walked through the halls of this arena countless times over the years. But it feels different today.

Everything feels different lately.

Love . I've been testing the word out a lot since Daniel dropped it on me yesterday.

I can't think about it without seeing Mira's face.

Last night, when I was reading to Aiden, he looked up at me and said, "I miss Mira. I love her."

Just like that. Like it's easy to know when you love someone. Like you don't need to wade through years of tangled-up emotions to even get close to the word.

I guess, for Aiden, it's not that many years of emotions to sort through. Maybe for him, it is simple.

As for me, I can't even finish reading a single resume Hanna has sent me. None of the applicants are right.

If I'm going to let some person I barely know come live with me, they need to be able to deal with my erratic work hours. It would be nice if they knew how to sing Aiden's favorite Italian lullabies, since I've butchered them every night this week. Also, if they had long black hair, a wardrobe consisting exclusively of cotton sundresses, a sharp tongue that can also be unbelievably soft…

I drag my hands down my face.

I'm not ready to be back at practice today. My head is a mess. I can't stop thinking about?—

"Mira McNeil."

I slam to a stop as the voice echoes down the hallway. Am I officially losing my shit?

Then I hear it again.

Hanna's voice.

"No, you know who I'm talking about," she sneers to whoever's on the other end of her call. "The dark-haired bitch Zane had working as his nanny? She was everywhere—on the jumbotron, in publicity pictures." She pauses for a second and then cackles. "Yes! She probably called the paparazzi herself. I wouldn't put it past her. She was just latching onto Zane because of the money, but I finally got rid of her."

Something hot and searing settles in my stomach.

Hanna laughs again. "Right? Now, I just need to get rid of that runt of his and we could be perfect together."

I don't need to hear anymore.

I charge around the corner, almost running into Hanna.

She stumbles back, her phone clattering against the hard floor. She yelps in surprise, but the sound dies in her throat when she sees me. I watch the color drain out of her face inch by inch.

"Go ahead." I snatch her phone off the ground and hold it out to her. "Finish your call. I'd love to hear more about how you plan to get rid of my son."

Her lip trembles. "Zane, I wasn't—I didn't?—"

"Should I ask you if I have any messages?" I snarl. "Or are you going to fucking lie to me again?"

Hanna is shaking from the top of her red head to her sharp stilettos. But she doesn't deny a word.

I lean close. "Admit it. Now. Did Mira try to get me a message?"

She opens her mouth twice before she can force the word out. "She called me and said Aiden was sick, but I didn't?—"

"Did she try to get me a message?" I repeat.

"I didn't know it was serious," she blathers on. "If I'd known Aiden was going to the hospital, then I would have told you!"

"Says the woman who wants to get rid of him."

"I didn't mean that! I-I was joking."

"Yeah? Well, I'm not." I drop the phone to the floor and crush it beneath my heel. "This was a work phone, so it's mine now. You can leave your laptop, keys, and credit cards in the press room. I'll pick it up after practice."

"What?" She wilts. "Am I?—"

"You're fucking fired."

My phone rings on my way out of the arena, and I think it might be Mira.

It's not. Obviously.

We haven't spoken in a week. She isn't going to call me out of the blue just because I've been thinking about calling her for the last six hours.

Part of me wishes she would. Then the decision would be off my shoulders.

I answer with a sigh. "What is it, Daniel?"

"Still lashing out, I see. Luckily for you, I still forgive you," he quips. "Davis told me you were at practice today. He wanted to know if you'd hired Mira back."

"He could've asked me," I snap.

Then I think back to practice, and I think Davis tried. A few times.

So did Jace.

I guess I wasn't in a very talkative mood.

Daniel snorts. "Of course. You're a real open book. Everyone knows that. Want to know something personal about Zane Whitaker? Just ask! He's very cuddly and approachable."

I push through the doors and step into the afternoon. The sun is midway towards the horizon and pelting me directly in the eyes. I shield my face and walk blindly across the lot. "Do you actually want something or can I hang up now?"

"Yes. I'm calling because Taylor said Mira is showering and acting human again, so I wanted to know what your timeline is on not being a little bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"Mira is going to move on. She's already started. If you want her as your nanny or your fake-but-mostly-real girlfriend, you need to figure out your shit fast. She isn't going to wait forever."

Mira moving on. I can't even imagine what that looks like.

Actually, I can.

And I hate it.

The night I saw her sitting at the bar with another man's arm around her shoulders, it felt like my lungs were too big for my body. Like my chest was going to crack open.

Then I wanted to crack his chest open.

Just because I can't be with Mira doesn't mean I want anyone else with her, either.

I shake my head. "I don't have time for this. I have to look for a new nanny and a new assistant, so I can't think about?—"

"Wait, what?"

Shit.

I grimace, knowing exactly which can of worms I'm opening as I say, "I fired Hanna this morning."

"Wait, what?!" he repeats a bit more frantically. "Why?"

I unlock my car and collapse in the driver's seat. "Because you were right: she lied to me. Mira left a message with her that Aiden was in the hospital and Hanna didn't tell me. She wanted to get Mira fired."

"That bitch," he hisses. "Taylor told me Hanna was bad news weeks ago—something about Hanna threatening Mira and lying to you about stuff—but I thought it was a girl fight thing. Taylor thinks almost everyone is a bitch at some point, including you. And me. And Mira."

"Well, she was right this time."

"So, what does that mean for—" Daniel makes a kind of choking sound, followed by a bang. Then his voice goes quiet. "Mira."

I frown. "Are you okay?"

There's shuffling and fumbling. Then Daniel barks, "I gotta go!"

The line goes dead and I toss my phone in the passenger seat. It's for the best.

Because I have no idea what any of this means.

Mira was telling the truth about Aiden, but there are still too many secrets to let her back in our lives. Which means there's no point calling her to apologize.

Nothing has changed.

As I move to start my car so I can get home and relieve Owen from "bairn duty," something catches my eye.

I don't even have time to turn my head before there's loud, heavy banging on my window.

"Mr. Whitaker," a deep voice rumbles. "We need to talk."