42. Zane

42

ZANE

After Daniel lost his leg, he got weirdly inspirational. Half the shit out of his mouth could have been printed under a picture of a turtle climbing a rock and hung in conference rooms the world over.

You can't have a rainbow without the rain.

Keep looking at the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.

At the time, it drove me crazy. Our situation wasn't inspiring—it was a fucking tragedy.

Now, though, things have changed. Walking into the arena with a picture Aiden drew of the two of us in my pocket and the mental image of Mira naked in my bed, I'm seeing rainbows and there isn't a shadow in sight.

I'm too busy thinking about how right everything in my life is going to care that I'm the only one walking the halls. Until I push open the locker room door and find every single member of the team lining the benches, staring up at…

Carson fucking Deluth.

"Whitaker," Deluth grits out. "Take a seat."

I drop my duffel next to the wall in case I need both hands free to strangle Carson. "Since when do you give orders?" I growl. "What the fuck is this about?"

Davis slides over to make space for me, his eyelids drooping sleepily. "He won't tell us. I set my alarm for seven this morning to be here on time. That hour shouldn't even be legal."

Nathan snorts. "No wonder you're always fucking late. Practice starts at seven-thirty."

Davis waves him off lazily. "Beauty sleep. Ever heard of it? It's why I'm the pretty one on the team."

Everyone starts talking at once, arguing over who is actually the prettiest. I ignore them; it's taking all of my focus not to haul Carson's ass into the hallway and figure out what he's playing at.

Carson claps his hands a few times to try to focus everyone, but no one gives a shit until Jace whistles. "Focus up," he barks. "I'd like to get to the hockey portion of today, so let's get Carson's little Show & Tell presentation over with."

Carson's nose wrinkles, but he ignores that jab. "Thanks." Carson faces everyone. "Teams are built on loyalty and trust. This locker room is our home. When we're here, we're family."

"Isn't that the Olive Garden slogan?" Nathan whispers to Davis, who cackles.

"Families can't lie to each other," Carson continues, ignoring them. "I don't want to do this, but when something in someone's personal life affects the team, we all deserve to know."

My stomach drops. He isn't even looking my way, which is how I know this has to be about me.

"Come out with it already," Davis groans. "This was not worth waking up early for."

There's a mumble of agreement across the locker room when Carson blurts, "It's Zane."

Everyone turns to look at me.

I stare unflinchingly at Carson. "What about me, Deluth?"

"You're lying to them," he grits out. "Tell them the truth. Tell them why you've been distracted and missing workouts."

He has no idea what he's talking about, but I don't care. Just the fact that he thinks I'm back in active addiction and his response is to use it as leverage to become captain is enough reason to kill him.

The room is fading out of focus—everything except for Carson's face, which is looking more and more like a bullseye every passing second.

But Jace stands up and starts waving people towards the doors, catching my eye as he does. "This isn't the forum for this, Carson. Clear out, everyone. This isn't?—"

"You're our captain," Carson spits. "The only reason I'm the one standing here making this speech is because you aren't doing your job."

Jace rises to his full height and everyone collectively remembers that he was the tallest player in the NHL for years until the Brooklyn Knights drafted a behemoth Czech center last year. He looms over Carson like a giant. "As captain of this team, I hauled Zane's ass out of that bar that night and made sure his head was on straight. He isn't going to fuck up again, so we don't need to do this."

Carson frowns. "What bar?"

He doesn't know about me getting drunk. So what the fuck is he talking about?

Davis slaps his leg and pushes himself to standing. "This was a waste of time. Thanks for nothing, Deluth."

Everyone starts to leave, but Carson stands on the bench and cups his hands around his mouth. "Zane has a kid!"

The room goes silent.

Utterly, miserably silent.

Confused faces turn from Carson to me, waiting for a denial. Expecting me to say something .

But the good mood I walked in with just turned to ash. There's nothing left in me except for rage.

I leap over the bench in front of me and lunge for Carson. "You fucking asshole."

I manage to close my hand around his ankle, but Davis plows into me, grunting, "It's too early for this."

It takes him and Nathan to flatten me against the cinderblock wall while Jace yanks Carson to the other side of the locker room.

Suddenly, Coach Popov steps out of his office. "That wasn't a denial, Whitaker."

His office light was off. I didn't think Coach was here.

Based on the way Carson's face drops, he didn't, either.

Still, I'm shaking. I'm not thinking as I spit, "Did you two plan this together? Is this some kind of bullshit fucking trap to make sure Carson is captain?"

"I didn't plan this. I wouldn't." Coach turns to Carson, disgust written all over his face. "You said teammates are family. Looks like you treat your family like you're auditioning for Jerry Springer ."

Carson shrinks.

"This is for real?" Davis whispers. When I don't deny it, he lets me go. "Fuck, I'll take Carson out for you."

"Yeah." Nathan spins around, his man bun wobbling as he jabs a finger at Carson. "Not cool, man."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Carson mutters. "He's distracted with his secret kid and fucking his nanny, but I'm the bad guy for bringing it up?"

"Keep my family out of your mouth!" I growl, lunging for him again.

Davis uses every bit of his short, dense build to drive me back against the wall. "Mira is your nanny ?! Is that why she said something about you two living together?"

I don't know what he's talking about, but I don't get a chance to ask before Popov regains control of the locker room.

"Carson, get your skates on and get out to the ice," he barks. "Think about what kind of family you want this team to be while you do suicides until every single person in this locker room is out on the ice with you."

Carson doesn't even try to argue. He drops his head and storms out into the hallway, the locker room door slamming behind him.

The second he's gone, it's a wall of bodies around me.

"You really have a kid?" Nathan asks, shaking my shoulder.

"How old?" Reeves calls from the back of the locker room.

Nathan nods. "Yeah. Can your kid play with mine on the weekends? I need someone with a kid who isn't happily married."

People want to know if Aiden is a boy or a girl, what his name is, how long I've been keeping him a secret. I answer a few, but there are so many questions I can't keep up with them.

"Let the man breathe." Daniel pushes his way through the crowd, making space. "You'll all meet Aiden and love him just as much as I do."

This sets off another uproar—just like Daniel knew it would. He winks at me as everyone descends on him.

"You lied to us, too?" Davis screeches sarcastically. "It's fucking anarchy around here! Someone get Carson back in here so he can publicly shame Daniel, too! We're supposed to be family!"

Coach calls for attention again. "It's obvious we have some family bonding to do." He narrows his eyes pointedly at me. "Next week is our bye week and I expect to see all of you at my house for a barbecue. Bring your families."

"In other words," Nathan yells above the crowd, "if you have any more secret kids, wheel them out for this, Whitaker!"

"Also, bring all of your hot nannies!" Davis adds, ducking when I take a light swing at him. "The singler, the better."

Conversations all around the locker room are devolving into nonsense when Jace finally appears in front of me.

Unlike everyone else, he isn't smiling.

If it was shame Carson was going for, he should have announced my secret and then locked me in a room alone with Jace. I feel like shit. "Jace," I breathe. "I'm sorry. I should have?—"

"Told me that you had a secret kid?" Jace finishes. "Yeah. You should have."

I drag a hand through my hair. "It was a lot to deal with. It happened fast. I didn't know who I could?—"

"If the next word out of your mouth is ‘trust,' I swear to God, Whitaker…" He takes a deep breath that doesn't look at all calming. "You know you can trust me."

"Yeah, but the only night I had to tell you about Aiden was the one where I was drunk on your couch. I didn't think telling you I now have a four-year-old to take care of was a good idea when I couldn't even take care of myself."

His jaw clicks back and forth as he stares at me. Finally, he nods once. "Gallagher has been begging me to take him to that indoor trampoline park. I'll let him know that you volunteered to take him and Aiden."

"Sure," I agree. "If that makes us even, I'll take them as penance."

"We're almost even." Jace turns to the team. "Everyone get on the ice before Carson heaves. Daddy here will lead the way."

Davis cackles. "Hurry up, Daddy . Better get your skates on, Pops ."

"Don't call me that," I growl.

Nathan ruffles my hair. "Sorry, Padre ."

I swat his hand away, hitting him with a warning glare. "I'm serious."

"Uh-oh, Daddy is maaad ," Davis announces, his sing-song voice echoing down the hallway.

"I was right not to trust any of you!" I yell back.

They all just laugh.