25. Zane

25

ZANE

I wish I'd spent the day at a children's museum.

A month ago, I would have asked someone to put me out of my misery the second that thought crossed my mind.

But the pictures Daniel flooded my phone with made it look fun. Every shot is either of Aiden grinning from ear to ear or a blur of him running off in another direction, too excited to sit still.

Mira sent me one picture of Aiden. It's as close to an apology as she'll willingly give for being a brat about me hiring a driver.

I'm sure, if I put my back into it, I could drag an apology out of her.

I swipe to the next photo in the album and—never mind, fuck an apology . I want to utilize a different body part and drag a very different noise out of Mira McNeil.

She's sitting side-saddle on a bronze statue of a Brontosaurus. Her floral sundress is bunched around her waist and her long legs are visible almost to the hip. She has one hand on the dinosaur's neck and her back is arched. The window behind her casts every delicious curve of her body in silhouette. I can safely say this is the first time in my life I've been jealous of an animal statue.

"You looking to slide into an Instagram model's DMs, Whitaker?" Jace tries to peek over my shoulder at the screen.

I hurl my phone in my bag like it's on fire. "Wouldn't be your business even if I was."

"That's a ‘yes' if I've ever heard one," he snickers. "I think it's a good thing. Maybe having someone to impress will give you the motivation you need to act like you've played hockey before. You've been a fuckin' mess all week."

"Some things are more important than hockey."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to take them back.

Zane from two weeks ago would never have said something like that. And I'm not ready to explain to Jace why Zane From Two Weeks Ago is dead and buried, never to return.

The fewer people who know about Aiden—and Mira—the better.

Jace reacts exactly as I expect him to. He stumbles back like I shot him in the chest. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

A few more guys push through the locker room door. Nathan claps Jace on the back and Daniel is right behind them, wheeling in a cart full of freshly-sharpened skates.

The mayhem of everyone grabbing their stuff is enough of a distraction that I start to hope Jace will forget about our conversation. But as soon as he has his skates, he drops down onto the bench next to me to lace up. "So did you invite her to the game tonight?"

"Invite who?" Daniel asks.

"Some IG model he met online," Jace answers before I can. "I caught him staring at her picture a second ago. He was all moony-eyed and longing. It was fuckin' weird."

"I wasn't staring longingly at anything," I grit out.

"Dark hair, sitting on a Brontosaurus?" Daniel blurts. When Jace nods, Daniel is so elated he's practically floating. "Oh, yeah, Z is down bad for her."

I glare at him so that later, when I'm killing him, he knows exactly why. "If you two had lives of your own, you could be less obsessed with mine."

" And ," Jace adds, ignoring me, "he just told me there are things in his life more important than hockey. Since when?"

"Oh. Ha ha ." Daniel looks at me, slightly panicked. He's always been a shitty liar. "What could be more important than hockey? It's not like Zane has any children or anyone to?—"

"Daniel," I growl through clenched teeth, "you should get everyone their skates before the game starts."

Finally, he takes a hint and ducks into the locker room with the equipment cart.

Jace has known Daniel long enough to tune out his weirdness ninety-five percent of the time, so he doesn't even notice. "In all seriousness, dude, you've been weird lately."

The truth sits on the tip of my tongue, but I already spilled my guts to one trusted mentor. Owen is still texting me at least once per day to remind me to watch my back where Mira is concerned. I have enough scolding voices in my head without adding another one.

"Yeah, I've just been—" Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Distracted by thoughts of ripping my nanny out of her sundress and fucking her absolutely silly. "You were right. I have a special guest coming to the game tonight. It just has me in my head."

"I fucking knew it!" Jace claps his hands together and pushes to his feet. "The chick from the picture?"

I nod. Unfortunately .

It was Mira's idea to come to the game. Actually, I have Taylor to thank. Mira swore they'd sit in discreet seats, which I guess means they'll steer clear of the boxes.

Still, as soon as Mira brought it up, I wanted to say no. I've been distracted enough recently without planting my secret son and fake girlfriend in the stands.

Then Mira hit me with "Aiden would really enjoy seeing what you do for work." After that, I don't know what the fuck happened.

Suddenly, I wanted Aiden to be there.

I wanted him to see me playing.

I wanted to impress my boy.

If I could ask Jace anything, it would be that. Is this normal? Will Aiden always take up so much of my brain space? Is this just an adjustment period and I'll eventually get used to feeling like one of my vital organs exists outside of my body?

Or is this just how my life looks from now on?

What I find out for sure is that I don't get used to it in the next sixty minutes. Every missed goal and intercepted pass are proof of that.

"You're losing your touch, Whitaker," Carson taunts. I just took a wide shot at the goal and Carson cleaned up my mess. Again.

I'm too busy scanning the stands for any sign of Aiden and Mira to bother with a response.

Where the fuck are they?

The owner's box is empty, thank God. Then again, the stands can get rowdy. Not so much in preseason, but the arena is still full of hardcore fans guzzling beers in special edition, thirty-two ounce cups. I never should have let Mira talk me into this.

Aiden shouldn't be here.

What if someone takes a picture of him? What if they figure out he's my kid?

Mira promised me she would have Taylor get a ticket for Evan, too. But if that's true, where in the hell is he? Evan is twice the size of a normal human. He should stick out in the crowd, for fuck's sake!

I twist in a circle, scanning every painted face in a sea of red and white, when someone grabs me by the back of my jersey.

I instinctively swing my elbow back. Jace dodges out of the way just in time to avoid taking it to the chin. "What the fuck, Whitaker? What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" I bark. "Get off of me."

"I'm playing hockey, which is what you should be doing!" He gets in my face. "I don't know what the fuck is up with you lately, Z, but figure it the fuck out."

I feel our teammates watching us. Coach, too. I've never felt further from becoming captain.

But I don't care. The only thing I care about is knowing that Aiden is safe.

I twist away from Jace, but he circles around and ends up in front of me again. His expression is softer, his voice low enough that I can barely hear it over the din of the crowd. "I don't know what is going on in your head right now, but you need to remember why you're out here. This is your dream, man. Remember why you want this."

A couple weeks ago, it would've been a great pep talk.

Tonight, it opens the door to something dangerous.

All I've wanted for years is to be on this team. To be a great leader. To give the Angels all I have. Now, I want to be in the stands with Mira and my son just as much.

Hell… maybe more.