35. Mira

35

MIRA

Zane is still inside of me. The last pangs of my orgasm are lightly pulsing around him. Goosebumps spread across my skin as the bath water cools and evaporates. His thumbs stroke half-moons over my ribs and his skin is blazing hot.

But I'm numb to everything except the panic.

"What did you just say?"

Zane gives me an easy smile like he isn't turning my world upside down . "Marry me, Mira."

My heart stops and then… then, I almost laugh. Because I must have misunderstood.

"You want to get married someday, I know." I press my palm to his chest and his heart is beating oddly fast, even considering we just had sex.

"Not ‘someday.' Now . Right now." He leans forward until his breath whispers over my cheek. "Marry me, Mira."

"Oh." I shrink back like he's a live wire. Actually, a live wire in the bathtub might be less shocking than the words coming out of his mouth. "That's a question. You're asking me to marry you."

"A couple times now. If you don't answer soon, I might start to worry."

The answer swells inside of me, stealing my breath. Yes. Over and over again, yes.

But I swallow it down. "You don't have to do this, Zane. You don't—I see what's happening here, but I'm okay. I'm alive and the doctors all fully expect me to live. One hundred percent chance of survival."

"I'm aware." His brows pull together. "If there was a chance you'd die, we'd be having a much different conversation, believe me."

"I just mean, we have time. So much time."

Zane studies me for a moment. Then he shakes his head and starts to climb out of the tub. "Maybe this will make more sense with clothes on."

Water shimmers across his tan skin. Muscles shift and pull as he pads naked across the tile floor, and my mouth goes dry. I want him again.

I want him forever.

The thirsty little voice in my head is begging me to accept and fuck him until we're both too old and gray to care about such things, if that's even possible. I can't imagine ever not needing him the way I do now. I love him.

Which is exactly why I bind and gag that little voice and try to let cooler, less horny heads prevail.

I look away, staring at my shivering legs beneath the cooling water. "I know the accident was scary, but I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to rush into anything you aren't ready for."

"You think I'm not ready?" He has his boxers back on, so it's a little safer for me to take a peek over at him. But he's still too gorgeous for words. I'd have to be the dumbest woman alive to refuse him.

I lift my shoulder in a shrug.

Before I can lower it, Zane is at the edge of the tub, plunging his hands into the water to wrap around me.

"What are you doing?" I try to fight, but I'm wet and slippery, and he's, well, him . He lifts me like I weigh nothing and plants my feet on the cushy bath mat.

Without a word, he dries me with a towel, making sure to be gentle with the bruises on my side and my hip where I smashed against the center console as the SUV spun through the intersection.

"I can dry myself," I mumble, but the words come out so softly I'm not sure he can even hear me.

I'm glad.

I don't want him to stop.

Zane dries every inch of my skin with the same meticulous attention to detail and tenderness he used to set me on fire just a few minutes ago. He does everything in his life with a singular, driven focus.

Which is why I don't want him to jump into marriage with me on a whim. I don't ever want to be something Zane Whitaker might regret.

When he's done drying me off, he tosses the towel away like we're beyond clothes and scoops me back into his arms.

"Are you mad?" I ask, trying to understand the slant to his brows and the flex of his jaw. "I really do love you, but— What are you doing? "

Zane places me on the bed and then crawls over me. His broad body stretches above me, and we should be talking this out.

Then again, he is strong and warm, and maybe we can afford another round before we make any big decisions.

The dirty voice in my head wins out. I press my palms to his bare chest and drag them lower, smoothing over his still-damp skin.

I hear his bedside drawer open and close. "I'm showing you how ready I am."

I look between our bodies at the bulge in his boxers and bite my lower lip. "I can see that."

But before my hands can make their way there, Zane pulls away. I sit up, instinctively following him. I'm about to protest—maybe even beg for him to come back if things get desperate enough—when he slides off the end of the bed and holds out a black velvet box.

I stare at it.

And stare.

And stare some more.

All I seem to be capable of is staring and blinking and breathing.

"You don't think I'm ready," he says, flicking the box open. I catch a glimpse of something large and shimmery inside, but I can't focus on it. I can't look away from the slow smile spreading across Zane's face. "But I already have the ring I'm going to put on your finger."

"When?" I croak.

He knows exactly what I'm asking. "Two weeks ago. I bought it a few days before Gallagher's birthday party."

"Before the birthday party. Before… before the accident."

The timeline shuffles. Pieces click into place. A picture is forming in my mind and my throat is tight.

Zane must be able to read my face, because he sets the ring box on the bed and grabs my hands. "I was going to wait until after things with your brother were figured out, but I don't want to wait anymore."

"Because of the accident."

"The accident woke me up to what it would feel like to lose you," he agrees. "Yeah."

I'm already shaking my head. "I don't want you to marry me because you got scared. I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls me to the edge of the bed. "I know you aren't."

"Then we don't have to do this, Zane. We can wait for a better time. When we're both thinking clearly."

"I'm thinking clearly."

That makes one of us. It's hard to think at all when that spiced wintergreen smell I love so much is wafting off of his skin. When he's holding my hands and looking at me with those piercing blue eyes.

"You were in the hospital, Mira, and that was—" He closes his eyes, wincing against the memory. "—fucking awful. But the worst thing was that I couldn't get to you. I was running around that hospital, desperate to find you, and no one would tell me where you were. Loving you wasn't a good enough reason, apparently."

My chin wobbles. I lean my forehead against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Don't apologize." He lifts me off of his shoulder and holds my face. "Just marry me."

I open my mouth to respond, but Zane is there. His lips catch mine. Our tongues tangle together like he's trying to find the words I'm afraid to speak. Like he's trying to coax the answer out of me.

I fall against him with a moan. If he wants to convince me like this, I think I might just let him.

Finally, he breaks away with a growl, his hands dragging possessively down my arms. "Tell me you can't live without me."

"You know I can't live without you." I kiss his jaw. His throat. I free one hand and tug trembling fingers through his damp hair. "I don't want to live without you, Zane. Ever."

It's easy to say because it's the truth. There isn't a single part of me that doesn't love him.

Zane pauses for a second. Then his leash on his control snaps. He crawls over me again, pushing me back on the mattress. His mouth blazes across my body, kissing and licking and stroking until I'm squirming under him. Until my hips are moving at a rhythm all their own, trying to close the distance between us.

"I told you I had our future all mapped out." He looks up the length of my body, catching my eyes. His are dark. He wraps his hands around my inner thighs, parting my legs to make room for him. "I told you I'd lick you until you come."

I swallow. "I remember."

"So you'd better give me a good reason why we shouldn't get married before you come… or I'm going to put that ring on your finger and make you my wife when you're too worn out to fight back."

"I'm not going to be able to think. I can't—" Just his breath against my center steals mine away. I try to squirm, but he holds me steady. Zane stares up at me like a man starved, and I'm already quivering. "I won't be able to come up with anything."

He smiles. "That's the plan."

Zane sets to work all at once. There is no build up, no slow easing in. He sets his lips to me and feasts.

I cry out, my body shifting up the bed for some space, but Zane follows me. He pins his arm over my hips to hold me down and works his tongue over every nerve ending I have.

"I-I can't," I gasp, curling my fingers in his hair. "Zane, I need?—"

"You better start talking." He slides a finger into me, twisting and curling. "You're already so wet."

The hunger in his eyes and the filthy words coming from his lips don't help. He flicks his tongue over my clit, and I have to lie back and toss my arm over my eyes to even attempt to clear my thoughts.

"It's not safe," I pant. "I p-put you and Aiden in danger just by being here."

He gives me a slow kiss and pulses a second finger into me. "I tried to live without you once. It was hell, Mira. For me and for Aiden. I refuse to do it again."

My hips roll against his fingers without my permission, and I force myself to lie still. "We've only known each other a few months. It's too soon."

"Says who?" He works his tongue and his fingers in a maddening rhythm that has my body clenching for more. "I would've asked you sooner, if everything else wasn't going on."

My thoughts are trapped behind a haze of heat and pleasure, but I snatch at his words. "There! We can't because—" My mouth opens in a silent moan as Zane curls his fingers against me, stroking a spot that sends fire up my spine. "—because Dante is still around! We're still in danger. We don't know what's going to happen!"

"Even more reason to make sure I'm protecting you in every way I know how. With my money and my body." He licks me between words. "With my heart and my name. It's all yours, Mira. Every bit of it."

I struggle for some excuse, some reason why I shouldn't let myself have every damn thing I want, but it's impossible to think now.

Zane works another finger into me and I'm full and rolling against his mouth and his hand and every piece of himself he'll give me.

Because I want it all.

My orgasm tears through me hot and fast. I cry out, clamping down around his fingers and shuddering with every brush of his tongue against me.

He kisses me gently, coaxing me back down to earth. Then he crawls over my body. "Marry me, Mira."

I hook my arms around his back and haul him closer, but Zane resists. He snags my wrists and pins them to the bed. He reaches for something and I don't realize what it is until he's holding my ring finger, a cool bit of metal poised above the tip.

"Marry me," he growls. "Live with me and be with me. Raise Aiden with me. Make a family and a home with me because there's no one else I'd rather do it with." He looks down at me, his expression softening. "Marry me, Mira."

Tears are already pouring down my cheeks. Whatever strength I had to resist before is gone. I nod. "Okay. Yes. Yes."

Zane slides the ring on my finger and then turns my hand over in his palm. He studies our hands and smiles.

And I need him now.

I grab his face and pull him to me. I kiss him hard, stopping only to catch my breath when he slides into me to the hilt.

"I want this," I breathe against his mouth. "I want you, Zane. So much. Forever."

Now that I've said yes, it's unthinkable that I ever could have said anything else.

What was I made for, if not to be with this man? If not to love him and be loved by him?

"You're mine." Zane grits his teeth. "You've been mine since the day we met. Since the moment I saw you. Mine ."

He's shaking, trying to hold back, trying to wait for me. But I want to see him clearly. I want to watch the strongest man I've ever met fall to pieces because he loves me.

I press my left hand to his chest, just over his heart. "I'm yours, Zane. Take me."

His hips stutter and he growls dirty, beautiful things against my neck, my breasts, my mouth as he spills into me.

A few minutes later, when he's lying next to me and drawing idle circles across my stomach, I ask, "So when's the wedding?"

"I'd say right now, but that seems too soon. Especially since I still have plans for you."

"Again?!" I feel like jello, but Zane wags his brows at me.

Somehow, heat is already building between my legs. Oh, alright. If I must.

"So, since tonight is booked, I'm thinking a week from today."

I laugh, but Zane doesn't.

"You're kidding."

Again, silence. He just watches me.

"You are kidding, aren't you?" I ask.

Slowly, he crawls over me, his skin scraping against mine.

"Zane…?"

He grins over the length of my body, and I forget what we were even talking about for hours and hours.