25. Zane

25

ZANE

While Mira is putting Aiden to bed, I get a text from the P.I.

Word is the brother is back in town. I don't have eyes on him yet, but tell your girl to watch her back.

Fuck.

It was stupid to hope that Dante would move on. He's been after Mira for seven years; what's a few more months of waiting compared to that?

But, stupid as it seems, I'd let myself start hoping. Every day with Mira and our little family makes me believe that life really might work out for us. I pulled myself out of hell when I got sober four years ago. This life with her could be my reward.

But life likes to remind me that nothing is ever that easy.

I text Evan. P.I. says Dante might be back in town. Have you seen anything?

Nothing , he texts back. But I've been on high alert. Mira was on edge all day.

I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I'm not the only one who noticed. I was ready to write it off, but if Evan is noticing it, too…

"I don't know how kids are able to fight bedtime." Mira rubs her eyes. "Thirty minutes in that dark room with a sound machine going, and I'm a goner."

I drop my phone face down on the counter. "Maybe we should get one for our room. We can fall asleep to ocean waves every night."

I could use all the help I can get. I'm still waking up most nights in a panic to make sure Mira is still next to me.

"Or we skip the sound machine and move to a deserted island. We'll open our windows and fall asleep to the real ocean lapping against the shore." She wraps her arms around me and rests her cheek on my chest.

The team still hasn't completely forgiven me for the rumor I didn't even start that I'm looking to be traded. They'd never speak to me again if I up and abandoned them for some island in the middle of nowhere. No matter how nice it sounds.

"You thinking about making a getaway?"

I mean it to be a joke, but Mira's breath catches. She goes stiff in my arms and all of my internal alarms go off.

I grab her shoulders and hold her away from me. "Are you?"

"N-no. No!" She shakes her head. "I'm not. It was just a joke."

I want to tell her what the P.I. said about Dante and ask if she's seen anything. I want to show her Evan's text message for proof I'm not crazy. Other people can see something is wrong with her, too.

But she feels like a wild animal sometimes. If I get too close or push too hard, she'll get spooked. I could lose her.

I grip her chin and tilt her face to mine. "Tell me your one truth."

Her lips part and then close. She frowns, and fuck , I want to wipe it away.

"Come on, Mira." I brush the pad of my thumb over her full bottom lip. "I can't quiet all of the noise in your pretty head if you don't let me in."

"It's pretty loud in there," she whispers.

"Is that doubt I'm sensing?" I arch a brow. "If you don't think I can handle it, I can't wait to prove you wrong."

"I know you can. But I don't know i-if I can. Handle it, I mean." She squeezes her eyes closed for a second. When they open again, they're glassy. "What if I let you carry some of it, Zane? What happens when I get used to having you here and then… and then…"

"And then nothing ." I pull her close, cupping a hand around the back of her head. "We're going to be there for each other and carry each other's shit and nothing is going to change that."

Her chest shudders on an inhale. "My one truth is that I'm terrified that something will. I'm terrified I'm going to lose you."

"Is this still about the meeting with Hollis? You aren't going to prison, Mira. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know a lot of people who would disagree with you," she mutters.

"They'll have to go through me if they want to arrest you."

She jerks back. " No . That's exactly what I'm afraid of. We're both going to get all tangled up in this and you aren't going to be able to rip free. You're going to go down with me, and I don't want?—"

"Too fucking bad!" I don't mean to, but I press her back against the wall. I loom over her until I'm staring down into her wide, green eyes. I know I'm probably scaring her, but the feeling is mutual. I capture her mouth with mine and kiss her until we're panting. I drop my forehead to hers. "We're tangled up already, Mira. It's too late to avoid it."

"It's not. We can?—"

"I love you," I bite out. "I love you . All of you. Your heart and your stubborn head and your baggage. I love who you were and who you are and who you will be."

I wrap my arm around her waist and bend her against me. We're close, but it's not enough. I've never had this kind of urge to be inside someone before.

She whimpers. "Zane…"

"You've been through so much, and you could have let it make you cold and bitter and angry. But you spent your time making sure your best friend didn't get murdered by her Tinder dates." She lets out a watery laugh, and I trace the line of her smile with my lips. "And fake dating a stranger so he could keep custody of his son. You take care of everyone else. It's way past time that someone took care of you."

I slide my hands under the hem of her dress and work slow circles over her hip bones. She rocks against me gently, driving me fucking mad with every brush of our bodies.

"I didn't want it to be like this. I was supposed to leave. None of this was supposed to land in your lap." Tears roll down her cheeks. "I wish…"

Her voice trails off, and I kiss her, drawing the words out. "Tell me."

"I wish we'd met in a different life. One without all of this mess."

"It wouldn't matter. There's no version of me that doesn't love every version of you. In every alternate universe, you and I are just as tangled up."

She opens her mouth like she's going to argue—I'm more than used to it by now. But I don't want to argue.

I kiss her back into the wall and lift her legs around my hips. Her lips are salty from tears, but with every twist of our tongues together, she softens. I press myself between her legs and she moans. Her hand twists in my hair, dragging me closer.

"You want this," I growl.

It isn't a question, but she nods.

"You want me."

She answers by slipping her hand between us and undoing my pants. When her fingers curl around me, I can't fucking breathe. It's like I'm in a vacuum. It isn't until I slide her panties to the side and press into her that I can finally inhale again.

Mira gasps, and I tug on her lower lip with my teeth. I fill her with a slow, relentless thrust and watch as she takes me.

"Say it," I snarl. "Tell me what you want, Mira."

"You can feel what I want."

She's talking about how wet she is, and she's not wrong. I rub my thumb over her clit, spreading her wetness over where we're connected.

"Say it anyway."

Her eyes roll back. She throws out an arm for something to hold onto, grabbing onto the handle of the refrigerator until her knuckles are white. "Y-you."

I drag out of her and drive in again. She gasps in my ear, her body quivering around me. "I want you. So much. All the time."

"I was supposed to take you to bed and do this right," I remark with a grimace.

"No!" She fists her hand in my shirt, her other arm still tossed over her head. "Don't stop. Please."

I couldn't stop now even if I wanted to.

I pin her hips to the door of the pantry and fill her again and again. "I'm supposed to be convincing you."

Mira wraps her hand around my neck and rolls against me. She chases her own pleasure until she's bouncing against me, crying out with every shift of our bodies together. I'm barely clinging on.

Before I lose it, I press into her, driving her back against the wall and holding.

"Please," she whimpers, trying to wriggle free. "Zane, I'm convinced."

I press an open-mouthed kiss to her lips and her neck. "Don't say it because you want me to fuck you. Don't say it if it isn't true."

She scrapes her fingers down my back. "I'm not. It's always been true. There's no one else I'd want a family with."

Talking about kids should not make me this wild, but possession curls low in my gut. The urge I have to be inside of Mira grows into something instinctual. Something raw and feral.

I touch her jaw and force her heavy eyes to mine. "Say it."

Her lips are swollen as she says, "Of course I want your babies, Zane. I love you."

I'm not sure how we got there, but we're on the floor. I drag her dress down her shoulders and bunch the material around her waist so I can wrap my mouth around her nipple.

She groans, her back arching off the floor, and I press my hands to her spine. I haul her against me and hold her in my lap as I fuck her.

She looks in my eyes and her expression is tinged with heat. She's as lost to the feeling as I am. When she shoves against my chest and forces me back, I let her. Her hands smooth over my chest and lower. She reaches for me like she keeps expecting me to disappear. I grip her waist and we grind together until I feel her clench around me. Until she goes limp against my chest, and I have to hold her steady and fill her from underneath.

"I love you," she pants against my neck. "Holy shit, Zane… I love you."

Mira presses her hand to my cheek as I cry out and spill into her. I come hard, kissing her fingers and her palm on every ragged exhale.

I slowly work my way down her arm and across her collarbone. When I reach her lips, they're salty again.

I pull back to see she's crying.

"Are you okay?" I brush her tears away. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing. It's… it's nothing."

"Mira—"

"No matter what happens," she says, laying her head on my chest, "I'm just glad I'm here with you. In this reality."