25. Sabrina

Morning light filtered in through the shades and pried my eyelids open. I blinked and smacked at the alarm before realizing it wasn’t even ringing. My blurry vision landed on the clock and my head flopped back onto the pillow. Why did my body insist on waking up this early on a Sunday? I groaned, closed my eyes, and pulled the spare pillow over my head to block out the sunlight. The room whirled behind my closed lids and a rush of nausea jerked me upright. With one hand over my mouth, I bolted for the bathroom. Too fast. The rush of motion sent my stomach writhing and I barely made it to the toilet.

As quickly as the nausea hit, it passed, leaving me breathless and shaky. I ran a washrag under cold water and pressed it to my face, breathing in the clean scent and wiping the tears that always occurred when I heaved.

“Are you sick?” Keith waited for me in my bedroom doorway, his eyes wide and curious. “Did you get my stomach bug?”

“I must have,” my voice came out rusty and guttural, and I paused to rinse my mouth out before leaving the bathroom. Wait. Keith had been sick over a week ago. If I was going to get sick, it should have happened within a couple of days. I shook off the uneasy feeling. “Or it could be the ice cream I ate last night. Better not eat anymore until I say it’s safe.”

“You’re just saying that cause it’s your favorite and you want to eat it all.” Keith crossed his arms, his lips puckered in a perfect pout. The insolence reminded me so much of myself that I laughed.

Love and affection pushed thoughts of illness aside. “I’ll save you one bite. But you have to eat your breakfast.”

The pout evaporated. “Will you make sausage and pancakes?”

Ugh. The thought of smelling meat cooking sent my stomach into another nosedive. I stiffened my body against the raging tide and gave a clipped nod. “Sure.” What the hell was wrong with me? I loved sausage and pancakes. Mmm. Soft, fluffy pancakes and rich maple syrup. Now that sounded delicious enough to make a full meal. “You want to help?”

Keith bounded over to the counter and climbed onto a stool. “Can I mix the pancakes?”

“Absolutely.” I poured all the ingredients into measuring cups and slid everything within reach. Opening the refrigerator again, I caught a whiff of last night’s roast and my stomach revolted with a savageness that left me breathless. My heart hammered, and I took a series of slow, deep breaths until the feeling settled. Cold sweat popped out on my forehead and slid down my spine. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this way with a stomach virus. The last time I threw up was …

My brain froze, then jumped into warp speed. Nausea. Vomiting. Aversion to smells, especially meat. The last—and only—time I’d ever felt this way, I was pregnant with Keith. No.

Denial hit harder than a lightning bolt. I dashed to my phone and opened the calendar app, tapping it backward. Where was it? My fingers shook, the tips numb, when I spotted the little star beside a date two months ago. I double-checked, then opened my menstrual cycle app to verify that I hadn’t logged the days there either.

No period.

Holy fuck.

I might be pregnant.

The room spun. I gripped the counter and forced air into my lungs as a frigid chill swept through me. Pregnant. The single word played on repeat, the sound of it a death knell. I couldn’t be pregnant. I took birth control with the meticulousness of a nun saying her prayers.

What would Chase say? What about Russell and Garrett?

“Mom, I think it’s ready.” Keith’s voice came from a distance, his voice tinny and high like it traveled through a narrow tunnel.

I focused on the sound and used it to draw me back to the kitchen where he waited for me. “Good job.” My body resisted when I tried to reach for the sausage, but I pushed through and carried the package to the stove. I could do this. I had to do this. Keith needed me more than I needed to find out the truth. Plus, it wasn’t like I had pregnancy tests here. I’d have to go to the store, and Keith would have a million unanswerable questions if he saw the test. He was at that age where curiosity and knowledge combined into a mess that I couldn’t even pretend to want to talk about.

The doorbell rang out a cheerful melody.

“I’ll get it.” Keith hopped down and raced toward the living room.

“Stop.” I barked the single word and planted my fists on my hips. “What’s the rule?”

Keith stood tall, then deflated when he saw me straighten. “No answering the door without knowing who it is.” He darted to the window and yanked back the blind before I could stop him. “It’s Mr. Russell. And two other men.”

Screwed. I was totally, royally screwed. I risked a look at myself in the hallway mirror, grateful I’d fallen asleep in shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Not presentable by any means to my bosses and the men I couldn’t get out of my head, but it would have to do. I raked my fingers through my hair and unlocked the door, yanking it open as I plastered a fake smile in place. “Chase. What are you doing here?” I blinked up at him, the sudden brightness causing my eyes to water. “What are all of you doing here?”

Garrett’s smile gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t known for years. He held up a stack of boxes. “We brought breakfast. Can we come in?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, then Chase, and Russell last of all. “You told them?”

“Would you like to have this discussion out here in front of the neighbors or inside?” He arched a perfect brow, and I gritted my teeth in response.

“Fine. Please come in.” I walked away, leaving the door open behind me, and retreated to the kitchen. I’d eat their breakfast and save all this for another day. Maybe the morning sickness wouldn’t be as bad next week.

Garrett set the boxes on the kitchen table and opened them one by one. “Didn’t know what you liked, so we brought a little of everything.”

The yeasty smell of donuts pushed the last of the nausea away. My mouth watered, and I took a plain glazed to nibble on.

Keith hopped into his chair and leaned across the table with his arms stretched out in front of him. “Wow. That’s a lot. I’ve never seen this many together. How many can I have?”

“Two. And some protein.” I pointed my donut at the last open box, where piles of fluffy scrambled eggs and bacon waited.

My son wasted no time in grabbing a plate and filling it up, even adding a healthy scoop of fresh berries from yet another box.

I angled my head toward Russell, who’d moved to stand beside me. “So, why are you here?”

“Wanted to check on you and Keith.” He said it so genuinely that the cold stone in my gut dissolved. “They deserved to know you were here. I don’t hide things from my best friends. I should have told you first, but—” he shrugged.

I understood. It was hard to keep secrets. I should know, I had enough to sink a ship so deep it could never be recovered. Sinking my teeth into the donut, I chewed and swallowed while watching them.

Chase and Garrett introduced themselves to Keith, and the three began a contest to see who could stack the most blueberries on top of one another before they fell. I almost stopped the nonsense, but it was so nice to see Keith smiling and laughing. I’d clean up the mess and grumble later.

Other, more important things, rattled around in my head. All it would take was one wrong word from Keith. One mention of the business, and he’d want to know if they knew his Grandpa Leon.

A crumb caught in the back of my throat, forcing out a cough. I covered my mouth and prayed that the nausea stayed away.

“I had an idea. I thought we might go somewhere.” Chase edged away from the table but kept an eye on Keith. “All five of us.”

All five? My eyebrows shot upward so fast they pulled my eyes tight. “Where?”

That was as far as I made it before the breathlessness caught up with me.

“Does Keith like the zoo?” Garrett kept his voice pitched too low for Keith to hear.

I loved that he did that. It gave me a chance to make a decision as a parent without Keith’s pleading. We’d never made it the last time he asked. After all the drama, we’d driven out for ice cream then returned home too exhausted to bother. A knot of emotion clogged my throat, and I took my time answering, waiting until I could speak without tears. “He’d love that.”

“What about you?” Russell slid a hand down my spine, leaving an ache in his wake.

I wished I had the right to hug him, all of them. This thing between us would be over soon, I felt it in the constant tension riding my shoulders and trailing my every step. They’d find out I was Leon’s daughter. Or that I was pregnant, and they’d abandon me when they found out.

“Sabrina?” Russell tipped my chin up, concern tight in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I love the zoo.” My smile struggled but I found a way to keep it in place and pulled away from him before I did something utterly foolish and asked him to hold me. We enjoyed sex together. Nothing more. Nothing less. They wanted nothing to do with my tumultuous emotions.

Chase’s smile appeared with the slow decadence of a caress. “Great. We all need a break from work. Maybe a distraction is what we need. Clear our minds.”

Oh. That’s why he came. I almost said no, just so I could spend the day with Keith and try to find a way to take a pregnancy test. One look at Keith and I knew I couldn’t do that to him. I’d never hurt him to save myself.

“We’re going to the zoo?” Keith stopped eating long enough to lift soulful brown eyes to mine. “Really?”

“Yes.” I swallowed my misgivings and focused on Keith. He needed this. Maybe we all did. Chase had a habit of being right. Much as I hated to admit it, the man had a point. We’d spent so much time obsessing about catching the thief that maybe we were overlooking something crucial. We were too close to the situation. A little distance never hurt.

Speaking of distance … I edged away from Russell on the pretense of washing the donut sugar from my fingers. “I need to get dressed. Make yourselves at home.”

Leaving them standing in the tiny kitchen was like leaving three bears in Goldilocks’s house. They took up all the space in the room, but instead of sucking out the energy, they filled it with a sparkling zap that I wanted to reach out and touch.

Dad called it playing with fire. He wasn’t wrong. I’d always had a particular proclivity toward pyrotechnics. I hoped and prayed that Keith wasn’t the one who ended up burned when this all went south.

Safe in my bedroom, I stopped at the foot of the bed and held on tight to my sanity. It would require effort to keep going forward when I knew that every second could be my last with them. “Enjoy the moment.” I closed my eyes and sank onto the edge of the bed. One hand drifted over my flat stomach.

Did I dare tell them that I might be pregnant?