Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Caleb

Me

We need to talk.

There. I'd finally texted Tony. I'd waited a couple of days past Sean's visit for the courage, timing, and right words to talk to Tony. None of which happened, so finally, I'd simply forced myself to type. And, of course, my heart thumped the whole thirty seconds I had to wait for a reply.

Tony

I was thinking the same thing. Where do you want to meet?

Oh crap. I should have been relieved that Tony was also looking to talk, but instead, my heart pounded harder and sweat rolled down my back. The only thing worse than not being on the same page was being on the same page.

I glanced through my open door, down the hall to the living room, where the sounds of a loud car chase blared.

Me

Not here. Scotty, John, and Cosmo are watching a movie in the living room.

Tony

Ha. Similar situation here. Rowan has what looks like most of the drama club over for 80s night. Just finished cleaning up dinner with Jonas, so I can sneak away. Our favorite make-out point up the old quarry road?

Me

I said talk, not fool around.

I regretted the pissy text almost as soon as I sent it, but the last thing I needed was the temptation to screw instead of say what needed to be said.

Tony

Might be a first, but we can talk there too.

Tony didn't include the eye-roll emoji I undoubtedly deserved.

Tony

It's private. We need to stop taking chances in town.

Me

Yeah.

I couldn't argue with that. Our days of silly risks were over, dammit. And all that was left was one last trek up that old quarry road to the same parking area as one of our first encounters. The memory of those kisses flashed as vividly as if it had been yesterday while also seeming like decades ago. So much had happened since then.

We turned onto the gravel road at almost the same time, pulling in alongside each other and killing our lights. A few seconds later, Tony slid into my passenger seat. My truck was bigger than his older compact, so he usually came to me, like the other night. Damn, that had been sweet. I suppressed a sigh.

"Hey."

"I feel like a secret agent or a spy." Tony chuckled, but his laugh lacked its typical energy. He quirked his mouth. "Or not so secret as the case may be."

" Fuck ." Bending forward, I rested my head on the steering wheel. "What did you hear?"

"Eric warned me there's a rumor going around."

"Apparently," I said flatly. "I thought we were doing a good job of being on the down-low."

"Good might be overselling it." Tony's voice had a new edge.

I shrugged, not liking the rising tension between us one bit. "Maybe I need more practice at secret affairs."

Tony growled. "You better not."

"Jealous?" I raised my head to peer at him, a weird hope flipping around in my chest.

"Damn right," he snapped back, then softened. "I know I shouldn't care so much, but I hate the thought of you with anyone but me."

"Ditto." I reached over and grabbed his hand. He squeezed mine back and interlaced our fingers.

"Who'd you hear about the rumor from?" he asked as he played with the calluses on my fingers.

"Sean." I waited for Tony's audible wince before adding, "He came over as a friend, not captain, but the warning was still louder than a tornado siren."

"He's not an idiot." Groaning, Tony leaned back in his seat. Surprisingly, he kept holding my hand. "I guess we both know what this means."

"Yep." I tried to pull my hand away, but he grabbed it right back. "Tony?—"

My voice cracked like a mirror hitting the floor, and I clamped my lips shut. Why did this have to be so hard?

"Hey." Tony reached for me, and I was so damn desperate not to cry that I kissed him.

And he kissed me back, equally as desperate. We clung to each other, mouths and hands rough but hearts impossibly tender. We both knew what was happening as soon as Tony left my truck and for every damn day after that.

Yet we kissed like want and need might make a difference, like if we wanted each other enough, we could manifest a different outcome. I was sad and angry at myself, at him, at the whole damn universe.

I put every last complicated emotion into my kisses and caresses as he pulled me over the console so I could straddle him. I nipped at his bristly jaw only to soothe the spot a second later with my tongue. He moaned at both, which only emboldened me further. Likewise, I yanked at his shirt before softly massaging his shoulder.

For his part, Tony met my every ragged breath and rough touch. Yet somewhere between all the kissing and grabbing, my emotions started to spill over. My body wasn't doing its usual gallop toward orgasm at all. In fact, neither of us was fully hard, and this felt less like sex and more like a feelings implosion that threatened to take us both out.

"Are you crying?" Tony pushed at my shoulders so he could peer at my face, a scrutiny I most certainly didn't welcome.

"Nah." I hoped I wasn't lying. "Probably dusty in here. I haven't cleaned the truck in weeks."

"Look at me." Tony cupped my face, swiping my cheeks with his thumbs. "It's okay."

I shook my head because nothing was going to be okay ever again.

"I can't stand to see you sad." His voice wavered like he was close to joining my breakdown. Perversely, I kind of loved that he was also struggling.

"I'll get over it." More lies.

"What if I don't want you to?" He held my gaze, but I couldn't decipher the message.

"You want me to be miserable forever?"

"No, I mean, I might have a solution."

Hope, that stupid, foolish thing, gathered in my chest, pulse skittering like a happy puppy anticipating a car ride.

"Let's hear it."