Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Tony

"Alone at last." I released a happy sigh as Caleb ushered me into his house, which was blessedly quiet after the chaos of the day. He had flipped on some low lighting in the living area, giving the space a warm and homey glow. "I've been counting down to this all day."

"Me too." Caleb's grin was wide as usual, but his eyes were more solemn as they'd been at the fundraiser. The secrecy was beginning to wear on us both, but I didn't see an easy way out, and I sure didn't want to give this up yet.

"Come here," I demanded, setting my backpack near the door.

"What's with the bag?" he asked as he followed my order, crossing the room to loop his arms around my neck.

"You said you wanted me to spend the night." My cheeks heated. Maybe I'd broken some unsaid rule of casual hookups. "Figured I might want clean clothes to avoid the walk of shame back to Eric's place. Trust me that the teens, especially Wren, would notice I was wearing the same shirt."

"Smart call." Caleb smiled up at me, eyes back to their usual sparkling blue. "And you are most definitely staying all night."

"Good." I pulled him in for the long, slow kiss I'd been hungry for all damn day. As always, Caleb met me kiss for kiss, eager and giving, welcoming me every bit as much as his cozy home. Breaking the kiss, I blew out a breath, resting my forehead against his head. It felt like my first true exhale the whole day, like now that we were here, I could finally relax.

And oh God, thinking of Caleb as a place to escape to was dangerous as hell. Seeking safety in another person was bound to lead to disappointment, as was cultivating a need for him.

Releasing him, I walked over to his crowded bookshelves as I tried to quiet my brain.

"Now what are you doing?" Tilting his head, Caleb narrowed his eyes at me.

"We have all night." I managed to banish the rising anxiety from my voice as I studied his books. "I want to see which of your books I've read."

"You read sci-fi?" Caleb sounded suspicious.

"Yeah, I listen to audiobooks mainly while working out or traveling, plenty of sci-fi along with several other genres."

"A lot of my stuff is queer sci-fi." Caleb quirked his mouth as if I might have a problem with it. "But there's some mainstream titles too."

"Neat. Loan me your favorite queer title?"

"You wanting to start a book club?" He studied me closely.

"Maybe." I liked the vision of us trading books and discussing them sprawled on his couch or bed. "And you introduced me to queer sex. Might as well get me hooked on a new genre of books as well."

"So now you're hooked on queer sex?" Caleb made a sour face like I was already auditioning replacements.

"I'm hooked on you." I pulled him close to me again and kissed his temple. "It's entirely possible you've ruined me for all others."

"I like that thought." Caleb offered me a sweet kiss that turned hot in a hurry. He ran his hands under the T-shirt I'd tossed on after a quick shower at Eric's when I stopped by to grab my backpack after the fundraiser. I returned the favor by squeezing his ass. Caleb gave a happy sigh. "Oh, that's also a good thought."

My foolish pulse chose that moment to speed up. "Speaking of new things…" I paused to worry my lower lip with my teeth, not entirely sure how to phrase this request. "I was thinking we might try the other way tonight."

"You mean you bottoming?" Caleb sounded interested but not overly so.

"Yeah." I hated that this felt like a big deal to my brain, which usually stayed calm despite new challenges. Not that this was a challenge. Gah. I flexed my fingers and tried to quiet my heart rate. "I did some research the other night. And I showered before coming over. Might be fun to try."

"Might be." Caleb gave me a critical stare. "You look nervous. You don't have to do this."

"I want to." I hoped I sounded more convincing than I felt. The times Caleb and I had fucked, I had been curious about what things felt like from his side, and since, apparently, this was the summer of indulging curiosity, trying bottoming had seemed like a good idea. I had no idea why my nerves had decided to run rampant when I'd thoroughly enjoyed everything else Caleb and I had tried.

"Okay. But we can stop whenever. Promise. You being comfortable matters," Caleb said as he took my hand. "Bedroom? That's where the lube is."

"Sure." As part of our Ranger training, I'd learned various techniques to stay calm under interrogation. Stupid nerves continuing to jangle, I tried one of the deep breathing exercises while hoping Caleb didn't notice my deliberate inhales.

Accordingly, as soon as we were in his bedroom, I tugged him in for a soul-searing kiss, deep and true. Surprisingly, distraction worked better than breath work, and it didn't take long before my desire for Caleb overcame my anxiety enough to push his clothing off.

"Race you to the bed." He waggled his eyebrows at me before launching himself onto the bed.

"You win." Chuckling, I quickly undressed and stretched out next to him.

"I love winning." Giving me an easy wink, Caleb rolled so he loomed over me, grinning like a satisfied cat. Seeing his enthusiasm made it easy to resume making out as our hard cocks rubbed together. We kissed for long minutes until Caleb broke away from my mouth to drop kisses along my jaw and neck. He skimmed his hands along my torso, little electric tingles as he slid lower, kissing my collarbones and idly licking my nipple.

"Okay if I play a little?" he asked, dipping one hand to cup my ass, making his meaning clear even before he reached for the lube.

"Sure." My thighs and abs tensed.

"Relax. I just want to make you feel good." Caleb moved between my legs, which, despite his command, remained stiffer than boat oars. Relaxation seemed like a lofty goal, so I settled for working on steadying my breathing and unclenching my muscles.

Caleb dropped ticklish kisses all down my stomach, which helped to distract me, but as soon as he arranged me so his tongue could lick my rim, my self-consciousness won again. All my muscles, from my jaw to my toes, tensed as he started licking and teasing. It felt…not terrible.

Electric, but a sharp, almost stinging pleasure. If I could manage that elusive relaxation, I might enjoy his efforts more, but embarrassment kept warring with the good sensations. I felt exposed in a way that wasn't comfortable. Or logical, given that Caleb had already seen me naked from all sorts of angles.

"Doing okay?" Caleb gazed up at me like he already knew the answer.

"Yeah. But could we skip ahead to the prep part?"

"In a hurry?" Caleb stroked my thighs, a soothing touch. "It's okay if you don't like rimming."

"I don't hate it." I quirked my lips.

"Let's try for something more than tolerating next." Softly chuckling, Caleb reached for the lube before circling a slick finger around my rim. More of those electric pings, which morphed into a subtle burn as he pushed in. I shut my eyes, trying my best to breathe deeply. As soon as Caleb pushed deeper, however, my ass clenched so tightly it pushed his finger out.

"Does it hurt?" he asked gently.

"No." I stared up at the bedroom ceiling rather than meet his gaze. "I guess I expected it to feel…better? Different? Sorry. Maybe you're right and I need to relax, or maybe the good part comes later?"

"Tony." Shaking his head, Caleb quickly wiped his mouth and then his hand with a clean washcloth from the same drawer where he always hid the lube. He stretched out alongside me before dropping a gentle kiss on my forehead. I felt perilously close to weeping for reasons I didn't understand, so I shut my eyes again as Caleb stroked my arms. "Not everyone likes ass play, and even those of us who do have times we aren't in the mood."

"I don't dislike it. You can keep going."

"Nope." He gave my side a light swat. "I'm not interested in you gritting your teeth and soldiering through. That's not at all sexy to me."

"Sorr—" I started to apologize, but Caleb cut me off with a swift kiss.

"No apologies. There are plenty of other ways to have fun. Including no sex at all tonight. We could watch a movie."

"I don't want a movie." I groaned, throwing an arm over my face. "And I've been thinking about sex and you all damn day. Interest isn't my issue as much as shutting up the rest of my freaking brain."

"I like your brain." Caleb dropped another kiss on my temple. "What's your favorite thing we've done so far?"

I thought for a moment, resisting the urge to give a flip answer. "I loved the first time we fucked with you riding me. Being inside you feels good in ways I can't really describe."

"I love it too." Caleb snuggled in close enough I could feel his erection. Feeling him hard made my own cock stir, and I rolled him so he was straddling me again. He grinned triumphantly down at me, his joy making it clear he wasn't simply appeasing me. And finally, finally , I relaxed with a huge exhale before I pulled him in for a kiss that led to the sort of grinding that never failed to turn me on.

For all Caleb liked to complain about being clumsy, he was spellbinding whenever he moved against me. Something about the two of us together always seemed to result in the perfect rhythm, two bodies in sync, all awkwardness and uncertainty long gone.

"God, I do love you on top," I gasped as my hands went to his hips, encouraging his motions. "Can we fuck like this with you facing me so we can keep kissing?"

"Absolutely." Caleb preened as he reached for the lube again, and this time, I knew only rising desire, no tension. He quickly slicked up his fingers and held my gaze the whole time he worked himself open, moaning softly. Even without being able to see his hand, I still loved the erotic display, and my cock pulsed hard on my belly. Glancing down at my erection, Caleb let out another moan. "Need you now."

"Do it." I sucked in a breath as Caleb lowered. He kept right on holding my gaze, an intense connection that had me moaning even before he was fully seated.

"Oh God, Tony." Caleb's voice wavered as he started rocking hard and fast. No warm-up. Just going for it right out of the gate in a way that would have me there way too fast. The warm, welcoming heat of his ass made my cock impossibly harder, but it was his unbridled enthusiasm and happy noises that turned me on the most.

"Do whatever you need," I ordered, gritting my teeth for an entirely different reason.

"This. You." He arched his spine, thighs flexing, head falling back, the hottest thing I'd ever seen. He pushed the pace, riding me with an intensity I hadn't known possible.

"Yeah, Caleb," I urged him on with my words and my hands on his hips.

"Touch me," he demanded. I instantly moved my right hand to his cock. My only concern was making him come as fast as humanly possible.

"Come on. Come On."

"You close?" he gasped, ass squeezing me in a way that almost brought me off right there.

"Fuck yeah."

"Good." He braced his hands on my chest. "I'm gonna go hard. You come too."

I was so fully in his thrall that all I could do was moan. "Yes."

Caleb knew exactly what he was doing to me, clenching and unclenching his ass muscles as he ground down. He made a triumphant noise as I thrust up, unable to hold back a second longer. I stroked his cock hard and fast, pulling out every trick I knew he loved to get him off with me.

And right as orgasm washed over me, he came too, big spurts that landed all over my abs. His ass fluttered, making me climax all the harder because I could feel him go. Likewise, his expression of utter pleasure and contentment made me come and come.

"Oh, Caleb ." I managed one last gasp before orgasm stole the rest of my breath. My whole body tingled, every muscle feeling better than ever before. Hell, even my breath, once it returned, felt amazing. I lay there, shuddering, basking in pleasure long after Caleb cleaned us up with the washcloth and collapsed next to me.

"See? All sorts of fun." He laughed tiredly as he rested his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, drinking in his joy.

"Yep." Much as I wanted to stay awake, I ended up letting my eyes shut. Caleb exhaled against me, a soft huff that ruffled my chest hair and made my heart do a weird flip. I floated on, sleep creeping closer and closer.

"Love you."

Did the whisper come from my own mouth? Caleb sleep talking? A dream? My brain was entirely too fuzzy to figure out an answer I was in no way prepared to deal with, so I let sleep win.