Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Caleb

"Big plans?" Sean caught up to me as we exited the fire station into a steamy summer evening. The late summer heat wave continued to march along, exactly like my super-secret fling with Tony. The one Sean absolutely couldn't know about.

"Nope." I hated the way my pulse galloped like a spooked pony. Every interaction these days with Sean and other supervisors felt like walking on floss stretched over the Grand Canyon. What did Sean know or suspect? Or was he simply being a decent captain and friend, and I was the one being paranoid? I had absolutely no clue, so I worked to keep my voice bright and easy. "I have to meet Scotty to sell more tickets for the football fundraiser."

Right on cue, my phone buzzed in my pocket. No way on earth was I pulling it out right then. Chances were good that it was Scotty confirming our meeting spot downtown, but I also had a lengthy text thread going with Tony. Late-night conversations, after-work meetup arrangements, random memes, and snarky comments and complaints, none of which Sean needed to get a whiff of.

"How's the fundraiser planning going?" Sean's voice was friendly and chatty, yet I stared longingly at my truck a few feet away. "I'm looking forward to attending, and somehow, Tony twisted my arm into agreeing to play in the charity game."

I flexed my feet inside my shoes and lightly shook my hands. I couldn't afford to tense up at every mention of Tony's name. "He can be rather convincing."

"Yep. He's good at getting his way." Sean's tone was that of a longtime friend, and his comment absolutely should not have inspired visions of all the ways Tony and I had of talking the other into fast meetups, quick sexts, and other naughty shenanigans. "Tony seems to be fitting in well here though." Sean's gaze turned more critical, increasing my desire to squirm away. "You think he'll do okay at the academy? He's seemed sort of…subdued since you guys rescued that hiker."

Oh lord. The only thing worse than Sean catching wind of anything brewing between Tony and me would be Sean questioning Tony's suitability for first-responder work. And even if I shared some of those concerns and continued to advocate for Tony trying a counselor or veteran's support group, no way could I share those confidential conversations with Sean.

Tony and I were finally at a point where he was opening up more about the horrors of past deployments, the hiking rescue having changed something between us, an increase in trust that made such talking possible. I couldn't jeopardize that either.

"He'll do fine." I made my voice firm. "Diesel lived, which is great, and I know Tony's mentioned hearing that he's out of ICU at last. That's gotta be a morale boost. I bet Tony passes the exams with flying colors. He's certainly got the fitness part down pat."

"And you're saying that as his mentor, someone who has worked with other rookies, right? Nothing clouding your judgment that you'd like to talk to me about? I hear you and he are…friendly these days."

And there it was, a sharp little prick to my bubble of happiness, a swift reminder that everything could change in an instant. Also, it didn't matter how easygoing Sean was. He was still my acting captain, and I couldn't afford to let my guard down for an instant.

"Nope," I lied with a smile. "My judgment is fine. Sure, Tony and I went for that hike and are working together on the fundraiser. But last I checked, off-the-clock friendship wasn't an issue. You and he jog all the time and eat together several nights a week."

"True. But, Caleb—" Sean started what was likely to be a lengthy warning about crushes and anything more than friendship, but blessedly, his phone rang loudly with a revving engine ring tone. "Crap. I better take this. It's Declan, my kid. But we'll talk more soon."

That sounded ominous, but I kept my smile all the way to my truck, lest he see me sweat these rumors or whatever he was hearing. Crap. Crap. Crap. We had to be more careful. My hand lingered on my phone as I plugged it into the truck's charging port. I should text Tony to tell him exactly that, but I wasn't ready for him to end everything. I'd simply have to be more cautious for us both.

Once downtown, I met up with Scotty, who was in a typical grumpy mood. "Why did I agree to talk to some dumb businesses I've never heard of?"

"Because you want to play football this year, and there weren't any better ideas for raising money." I so did not have patience for his funk tonight. "And these are local businesses based right here in Mount Hope. Of course you haven't heard of them because they don't have national advertising budgets, but these are the people most likely to donate to the fundraiser and silent auction."

"I guess." Scotty sulked through a few more business stops, perking up slightly as I wrangled a few gift certificates for the silent auction, including a weekend at the coast from a local travel agency. But as the evening dragged on, Scotty returned to his cranky self. "God, it's fucking hot as balls."

Rather than snapping, I took a breath, playing my current favorite game: What Would Tony or Eric Do? They'd be more patient than me, that was for sure.

"We can get a drink soon." I pointed to the ice cream shop at the end of the block.

"What? You're not going to bust me for cursing or having an attitude?"

"I'm trying." I squished my eyes shut and counted to five.

Scotty blew out a ragged breath. "I know you are."

Well, that was the shocker of the century. "You do?"

"I guess." Scotty made a show of studying a store window advertising a back-to-school clothing sale. "John says I need to be less hard on you."

"I knew I liked that kid," I joked, suddenly hoping John ran for every touchdown his kind heart desired.

"He's okay." Scotty slowed his steps further.

We were wading into dangerous conversational territory here, topics that were likely to get me dunked on, but I had to try. "You've been spending a lot of time with him and his crew."

"Nothing better to do." Scotty huffed, and I assumed that was the end of trying to get him to talk, but then he pulled up short next to an insurance building. "You ever have a friend…? Never mind."

"What?" I kept my tone gentle, not unlike approaching a feral kitten. "You can tell me anything. Big-brother promise. Here, I'm taking off my guardian hat." I made a silly show of removing an invisible hat. "I'm just Caleb, your big brother, the one who has done some truly stupid shit of his own. What's up?"

"You ever meet someone, and like you don't exactly understand it, but they make you want to be a better person?" Scotty groaned as he rested his head against the brick building. "God, that sounds so freaking stupid."

"No, it doesn't. I know exactly what you mean." And I did. Tony. He made me want to be a better brother, better caretaker to Scotty, better friend, better all-around person. Not simply because Tony was such an awesome person but also because I wanted to be worthy of a Tony in my life. "I've had friends like that, sure. And crush?—"

"Stop right there." Scotty held up a hand, predictably bristling. "It's not a crush. We're not like that. He's straight. We're buds. But when I'm around him, I want to try harder. Do better. Be more like him. People respect him, you know?"

"Yeah, he's a good guy, and it sounds like he's a good friend. Good friends lift you up. They don't take you along with them on the ride to detention."

"If making sure I'm never late for practice or work is lifting me up, then yup, he's a decent friend." Scotty's eyes and forehead stayed in a near-frown, yet the corners of his mouth lifted, an almost smile.

"I think John and his crew are good for you. Maybe don't overanalyze it." I couldn't believe I was giving that advice, considering I spent every waking minute overanalyzing things with Tony. "Just roll with it."

Like I was even capable of doing that with my own life. However, Scotty's eyes held a certain fragility, a wariness around his mouth that warned me not to press too hard about what admiring John so much might mean. Perhaps the best thing for their whole crew, especially Scotty himself, was to advise him to simply enjoy the friendship.

"Yeah. That's what I'll do." Scotty gazed off at a trio of young bicyclists. "It's weird having friends I actually like."

"I hear that." Huh. I tried to keep the surprise from my tone. But huh. I'd had hookups. I'd had coworkers. I'd had crushes aplenty. Study buddies. Acquaintances. But had I ever truly had a friend like Tony? Someone I simply enjoyed being around this much? I didn't think so. My hands went icy despite the hot day, terror lowering my body temperature a good twenty degrees. But as with Sean, I couldn't let Scotty see. "Good to have friends without probation officers."

"Ha. And no dropouts either." Luckily, Scotty took my joke as intended. "Everyone in the whole crew has plans, man. It's weird."

"Do you have plans?" I'd promised to keep things brotherly, so I banished any trace of parental concern from my voice. "It's cool if you don't yet. The school year hasn't even started yet."

"Dunno." Scotty shrugged his muscled shoulders. "Keep playing ball, I guess. John's been trying to get scouts to come to games this fall. Maybe some school will take a chance on a quarterback like me."

"You need a plan for after football." I was thinking of Tony's shoulder injury and how that had ended his dreams of football glory and put him on an unexpected path. However, Scotty frowned like I'd issued a personal attack.

He made a rude noise. "What I need is to sell more tickets."

Conversation done, he stomped off to the next business on our list, only mildly brightening when we ended up at the ice cream place with a bunch of others from the team. Cosmo and John flanked Tony, who was looking way too sinful eating a mint chocolate chip cone. Their other friend, Elliot, the giant kid, was devouring a banana split meant for two.

"Hey, Cosmo!" I pulled out a nearby chair, pretending for all the world like I couldn't care less about his uncle. "How many tickets did your group sell?"

"Uncle Tony is a bomb ass salesman," Cosmo bragged. "That, and he winks and people just can't wait to donate."

A jealous prickle raced up my spine. "We don't need to flirt to get donations," I said primly.

"Who said flirting?" Tony stared straight into my eyes. "I'm nice. There's nothing wrong with being nice. I'm not leading people on."

There was a message there, one I wasn't sure I was ready for. He'd always been upfront about not wanting a relationship, and I couldn't go changing the rules now.

"Oh! Hey, Scotty!" Cosmo leaned forward as Scotty joined us with a pink-and-purple sorbet concoction. "My mom said I can have an after-party the night of the fundraiser. Sleepover! We're gonna set up tents in the backyard. Everyone is invited."

"You going?" Scotty jerked his head in John's direction.

"Miss a chance to camp? Never. And they have that huge TV at Cosmo's house. Camping and movies? I'm in."

"Me too." Scotty glanced at me like I might object to this wonderful, amazing plan. I already knew neither Tony nor I were on duty that night because we'd asked off for the fundraiser.

"Sounds awesome to me." I shrugged as if I weren't already imagining an entire damn uninterrupted night with Tony. Consequences be damned.

"Have fun." Tony echoed my enthusiastic-but-casual tone.

"You wanna chaperone?" Cosmo asked. "Mom is having a bunch of other moms over too."

"Nah. Think I have plans." Tony held my gaze. Message received. I struggled not to grin.

"Are you inviting yourself for a sleepover?" I teased in a whisper a few minutes later on our way out of the ice cream place. I'd hung back so the kids were all several paces in front of the two of us.

"We probably shouldn't risk it…" He quirked his mouth as my stomach clenched. One night. All I wanted was one damn night. But before I could speak up, Tony added, "We'll simply have to be careful."

"Yep." I didn't bother hiding my relief. "I'm not missing the chance for more than a quickie."

"Agreed. A real bed. All night. Sounds sweet." Tony grinned at me. He was sweeter than the best ice cream, and I was already starving for the night of the fundraiser when we could fully indulge ourselves.