Prologue

Gavin

I studied my reflection in the mirror once more, making sure my hair and outfit were perfect. I wanted to make the best first impression possible. It had been nearly four years since I last saw Richmond Holt, though not a day went by that I didn't think of him.

He was the main reason I discovered my sexuality. At first, I wrote off my attraction to him as just being drawn to his charm, charisma, and humor. But it didn't take long to recognize it was so much more than that. The moment I realized I was gay was the same moment I knew I was in love with Richmond. I pined over him for years, but never told him my secret.

For one, Richmond was my best friend Wade"s dad. I did accidentally spill the beans to Wade one drunken night. After his initial shock, a hefty dose of confusion, and then a shit load of teasing, he accepted my feelings. He appreciated my honesty, and I was grateful I didn't push him away with my admission. His friendship meant everything to me.

After he came to terms with everything, Wade had encouraged me on more than one occasion to tell his dad how I felt, but fear of rejection kept me from doing so. Most of my life, I'd been a scrawny, awkward nerd who had zero game when it came to men. I knew I'd never be good enough for Richmond until I became good enough for myself. I had to grow up and make some changes, so that's exactly what I did.

Wade and I went off to college together four years ago. We shared a dorm room as we studied, partied, and learned as much about ourselves as our upcoming careers. Though Wade regularly went home on holiday breaks, I stayed on campus, keeping my distance from Richmond.

That didn't keep me from asking about him; I drove Wade crazy with all of my questions. I mourned every time I heard Richmond was in a relationship, and celebrated his single days. All the while, I was working hard in school, making good grades, and eventually earning my degree in marketing with a minor in business.

But it wasn't just my mind I was improving. I hit the gym daily, lifting and sweating until my body changed from weak and noodly to a tight, toned machine. Once I was comfortable in my skin and my confidence rose, I began to experiment.

The only experience I'd had up until that point were raging fantasies of Richmond, which usually culminated in wet dreams and sad longing the morning after. I wanted more. Granted, I wanted it with Richmond, but that wasn't an option. And if it were to ever become an option, I wanted to be ready for him.

So, I had my fill of one night stands with guys who were just looking for a bit of fun. I learned tips and tricks while staying safe and never forming connections. Now I stood confident and ready for my future. I could only hope Richmond would be a part of it.

I nodded at my reflection and headed towards the kitchen to start on dinner. My stomach was tied in anxious knots. My years-long wait was over. I was finally going to see Richmond Holt again. I just hoped he finally saw me.