9. Dylan

9

DYLAN

M y workday was a waste of time. I couldn't focus. I couldn't get the vision of Jessica out of my mind. She was all soft and jiggly in the bits of fabric she slept in. That tank top barely contained her breasts, and they moved with every breath she took, every word she spoke.

My body responded like I was some kind of horny teenager. It took focus to will my cock to not spring to action. I had no control. I just had to hope she didn't notice. She was all curves and softness with the smoothest looking skin. It was all I could do not to touch her.

I was jealous of my own kid because he got to crawl into bed with her and tickle her and be tickled by her. Their actions were purely innocent, and my intentions were definitely not. But damn, if I didn't want to be in that bed with the two of them, giggling and wrestling. It looked like a much better way to start the day than waking alone and immediately taking a shower and getting dressed for the office.

I managed to shoot out an email to everyone I had forwarded the prospectus from Ryan.

Can we up the timeline on this? I'd like to discuss before inviting him down to give an in person presentation. Watch for an email from Sarah with the meeting times scheduler. Let's make it happen. I hit Send on the message and then buzzed Sarah.

"I need you to put together one of those meeting scheduler things for me," I said.

"Sure thing. Title and time preferences?"

"Yeah, call it the Carmichael Proposal, and let's see if we can get something on the books as early as Friday, but put some options into next week."

"Can you email over the list of who gets this?" she asked.

I looked at the intercom. Sarah was only one office to the side of me, but we spent most of our time communicating over the intercom or by email. Was there a reason I still had offices? Everything could be done from anywhere as long as I had a computer, an internet connection, and a phone.

I had an office in my home, and if I were there I could see Max more. I could visit my mother when it was good for her schedule. I could sneak in time with Jessica.

Images of her under my desk with her mouth wrapped around my cock surged through my body. Damn, just thinking of her body and I was hard. I shifted in my chair, trying to regain some comfort. Dirty thoughts of Jessica were actually quite enjoyable. They would be even more enjoyable if I knew she felt the same way. The way she had looked up at me and licked her lips this morning planted the seeds of the thoughts I was having now.

I had left all of Max's previous nannies alone. Not a single dirty thought during the time of any of their tenures as my employees. I never once chased the skirts of any of my mother's maids, even as a younger man. And there had been many attractive women in and out of the house over the years. Lusting after Jessica was a first.

Maybe having a home office wasn't such a good idea. I'd never get anything done knowing Jessica was around somewhere on the premises. Not that I was getting anything done today, and I was just thinking about her.

If I did go to a home office model, Sarah would need a place to work. I'd seen her apartment. It wasn't very big, and she needed access to files. No. I shook my head. It wasn't a viable full-time work option. Maybe I could cut my office hours back? I had worked from home during those days before I hired Jessica, so I knew it was feasible.

"Sarah, I need to get out of here for a bit. I'll be back before the end of the day."

"Time to clear your head?" she asked.

"Something like that."

"See you later."

She didn't question what I planned on doing with my time. Which was good, because at the moment, I had no idea. I needed to get out from behind a desk because all I could think about were different ways to take Jessica while at work. Or, in the case of her sucking me from under the desk, different ways she could take me.

The fog had rolled in early. It meant the weather was warming up. If I drove away from the coast, the air would be warm, possibly even hot. I headed off the peninsula. I rolled down my windows and let the warmer air buffet me around. I opened the car and let it gain speed when I reached the freeway. I kept half an eye out for the Highway Patrol. If I got a ticket, then maybe I deserved it. I had no destination. I just wanted to drive my frustrations, sexual and business related, away.

It was much later than I had expected when I finally returned to the office.

"I thought you said you'd be back before I left," Sarah joked. She had her coat on and was putting things into her tote bag.

"Yeah, well that took longer than I expected."

"Did you get to clear your mind and get some quality thinking time?"

"I didn't solve any of my problems, if that's what you're asking," I replied.

"It was. You'll get it figured out soon. I've never known a problem to get the best of you yet. Maybe if you sleep on it, you'll get your answers. I'll see you later." She hiked her bag onto her shoulder and left.

I didn't stay late and continue to torture myself. I shut down my computer and locked up before heading home.

After putting my stuff down in my home office, I went for a quick visit with Mother.

"I haven't seen you in days," she chastised me.

"It hasn't been that long."

"Maybe not, but I don't get out. These walls can be very confining. Did something happen last night? Max and Jessica didn't come to see me today. Clara insinuated that Max may have been in trouble."

Insinuated? Interesting considering Clara had been yelling about Max causing troubles. Maybe she hadn't been speaking to my mother but convincing herself that she had been the victim of a four-year-old's overenthusiasm. I shook my head.

"Max isn't in any trouble," I said.

"If Max isn't, am I?" she asked.

"Of course not," I said with a chuckle. "Jessica mentioned this morning that Clara said you were getting overly tired from Max's visits. I suggested that maybe they not visit you every single day."

I couldn't tell whether she was shaking her head as a commentary or it was the shaking she would sometimes do when she was overly tired.

"Clara would wrap me up like a mummy and tuck me away in bed in a dark room if she had her way. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I know how to say I'm not up for a visit, or if I need to cut a visit short. But that should be my choice. Everyone is making these decisions for me and no one is asking me anything." She raised her brows and gave me that look I knew all too well from my youth. I was being an idiot and treating my mother like she was a delicate bloom that would shatter if the slightest breath of wind touched her.

I lowered my eyes and shook my head. "Put that blame on me too. I don't want to wear you out. I don't want Max?—"

She held up her hand, cutting me off. "Max gives me life. That little boy is my heart and soul. Don't take him away from me." She wiped her eyes.

Clara walked in just then and began making harrumphing sounds and shooed me out of the room. I stared at the closed door. Clara was overstepping, but Mother never let me try to find a replacement. I was going to have a serious chat with that woman. She didn't rule in this house, but she certainly treated everyone as if she did. This was a tough call. Mother adored Clara, and I had to work around that.

I loosened my tie and climbed the stairs to my room. Instead of turning into my room, I turned into the nursery. I pushed the door open. Max was intent on playing with some plastic dinosaurs on the floor. Jessica looked up from where she sat next to him and folded laundry.

I put a finger to my lips indicating she shouldn't say anything.

She nodded and returned to watching Max and doing her chores. There was something highly attractive about her doing work with my son right there. It was maternal in a way his biological mother had never been. I just stared at the two of them as the thoughts started to form. My son needed a mother.

He was so young when his left. There was no possible way he would even remember her. And if he did, it had to be fleeting glimpses of a woman who was a total stranger. Amber. I didn't even know her, really.

I had been excited when his mother had gotten pregnant. We hadn't been together for long, but I'd still asked her to marry me and everything. She said no. At the time, I had thought she was saying not yet. I was blinded by love, or intense emotions, or something. She had no intentions of marrying me.

I had no issues providing for her. I covered her rent and bills when she was pregnant and on maternity leave. I thought she was happy being a mother. I missed those clues too. We shared custody. I was active in Max's early life. He even had his own bedroom, and I had temporary part-time nannies on call for the time he spent with me. I never fought Amber for custody. It hadn't occurred to me to ask.

She dropped Max off one weekend, and I never saw her again. About a month later, I received signed papers relinquishing custody.

She was out of our lives. At first I was angry, and then hurt. At least she gave me Max, and I adored him. But she wasn't in his life. The only women he knew were my mother and a revolving door of nannies who never seemed to stay around for more than a handful of months at a time.

If I found someone to be his mother, I also wanted her to be my wife. I wasn't going to marry some woman just to secure a long-term nanny for him. So, what was I thinking as I looked at Jessica? Did I want something more from her than just the pleasure I imagined her body would give me?