12. Jessica

12

JESSICA

I didn't know who was more excited for the day at the Aquarium, Max or Dylan. They both seemed overly enthusiastic. Maybe Max was more excited to see the fish and the exhibits, and Dylan was just happy to have a day free of work to spend with his son.

But I was included. This wasn't simply Dylan taking time away from work. This was Dylan including me in a family activity. Every time he smiled at me, I felt a flutter of excitement in my middle.

I hadn't realized how much Max loved the place. No one had told me we could have spent hours here and he would have been entertained, all while learning at the same time. If I had known, we definitely would have been making weekly visits. I already had plans forming in my head. Max needed more to do during the day than hang out and read stories with me or play with his cars and dinosaurs at his grandmother's feet while she watched him play.

"I want to see the otters!" Max called out as soon as we got there. He grabbed my hand and started to pull me along.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I pretended to let him feel like he needed to drag me. "Hey!"

I said when he dropped my hand. I was afraid he was going to abandon me and run off toward the exhibit. But I had nothing to fear.

Max made a concerned, concentrated expression and balled up his little fists. He marched in a big circle around me.

Dylan was laughing as Max stomped around behind me and put his hands on my butt and started pushing.

"You're too slow," he complained.

I couldn't stop laughing. And then Dylan grabbed his son and hurried past me. He wasn't running, since the place was entirely too crowded for him to get away with that. "See you there, slowpoke."

Dylan carried the giggling Max off toward the otter exhibit.

Otters, sharks, starfish, and more types of fish than I ever really thought about. We ate lunch in the cafe. I found it a bit ironic that the menu had so many seafood options. It seemed a bit weird to watch and admire all the fishy friends, only to eat their cousins for lunch. But I wasn't complaining. My fish tacos were delicious.

After lunch, I expected Max to slow down and maybe start whining. After all, it was his typical nap time. But that boy was full of all the energy, and we had to go back and see his favorite exhibits for a second time. When we returned to the otters, he wormed his way up front to the glass.

As I reached for him, not wanting him to cut some other excited kid off, Dylan stayed my motions with a hand on my arm. "You don't have to be holding on to him the entire time."

"In a crowd like this, aren't you worried?" I asked.

"It's not that crowded, Jessica. Besides, I can see him just fine. You have to trust him," Dylan said.

Dylan absolutely loves his son, but this felt a little too lax for my anxiety levels.

"I do trust Max. It's everyone else that I'm wary of," I said. "One little distraction, and Max could decide to run off, or worse, get nabbed."

"Are you watching Max or are you watching the people and the otters?" Dylan asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Of course I was watching Max.

"If you keep your eye on him and ignore the rest, it's not a problem."

"Ah, I see what you're saying. But I'm about to point out a very large hole in your logic," I said, leaning in close. I slid my hand over his thigh. It was a great thigh, and I did like the chance to sneak in a quick caress, but my touch was to prove a point.

Dylan turned his head and looked at me. "Oh, yeah?"

"I've just distracted you long enough for you to stop keeping an eagle eye on Max. Where did he go?"

Dylan's eyes opened wide, and he whipped his head around looking for the boy.

"Max?" Dylan barked out.

Max turned and beamed at us from his spot up front. Max hadn't gone anywhere, but the unexpected distraction was long enough for something to have happened.

"He's right there. What the hell?"

"I'm sorry I made you nervous. But I just wanted to demonstrate how fast it can happen. If we were sitting at a playground, it would be different. But in a place like this, I'm more comfortable having him at an arm's length or closer. And that's a professional opinion."

"You are a smart woman, and I find myself conceding to your professional experience yet again." Dylan tilted his head in a slight bow, only he kept his eyes on Max the entire time.

After that, Max was never more than a hand grab away from either of us. And after another hour, he was on Dylan's shoulders for a ride back to the car.

The drive from the aquarium back to the house wasn't long. I was surprised that Max conked right out and was asleep before we got to the community gates, and then the drive to the house.

"I guess he wore himself out," I said, watching him over my shoulder for a long moment. He really was a sweet little boy. "Thank you for today."

"You are welcome. I'm sorry we didn't do anything more grand than stay local and go to the aquarium."

"We could have packed a picnic and gone down the coast into Big Sur, and it would have been just as wonderful. Today was about the company, not the activity," I said.

"You figured it out? I told you?—"

"I know," I cut him off. "You said you would prove it by actions if you couldn't tell people about us. I get it, and I appreciate it." I took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.

"That sounds serious."

I glanced at Dylan's profile. His attention was on the curving road in front of us and not on me. Which was good. What I had to say was hard enough. I didn't need him looking at me at the same time. Confessions were always hard, but this one couldn't wait any longer.

"It kind of is. Look, if this is going to be something between us, you need to hear this from me," I started. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "And because you haven't asked me a million questions, I'm guessing you haven't been told yet."

"Jessica? What's this all about?"

"That man you had at the house after you went golfing several days ago."

"Ryan Carmichael?"

I grimaced at the sound of his name. "Yeah, him."

"He wasn't bothering you, was he?"

I barked out a bitter laugh. "Oh, he most definitely bothers me. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything. He's the kind of guy who loves to hold threats over people. He kind of has a bit of one that he's dangling over me, but that doesn't mean he'd keep his word. Anyway, he told me if I didn't meet him that night, he'd tell you all about us."

"He coerced you?" Dylan asked. His voice was deep and threatening.

"Not exactly. And not what you're currently thinking. I met him that night, had a drink because he wouldn't take no for an answer, and he said he'd hold off telling you about me because I was playing nice. I don't trust him, and if there is going to be anything between you and me, you need to know that I have a history with Ryan."

The car jerked to a stop. "You what?"

My seat belt cut into my shoulder. Frantically, I looked at Max, who was mercifully still asleep. The car was stopped in the middle of the road on a blind curve. I looked at Dylan. His eyes were tight slits as he glared straight ahead. His knuckles were going white as he gripped the steering wheel.

"Dylan, you should move the car in case someone comes around the corner," I nervously pointed out.

I didn't like the way he narrowed his eyes at me, and I really was not comfortable just sitting in the middle of the road. Especially not the one we were on. It was one of the longer roads in the community. It had lots of fun curves, and teenagers loved to drive too fast along it. Hell, I liked to drive too fast along it. The way the car was stopped, skewed across the center line, we were an accident waiting to happen.

"Do not presume to tell me what to do," he growled through clenched teeth.

"Sorry, sorry." I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes. "I just… I, ah…" I began rambling. Words fell out of my mouth in a nonstop torrent. "I wanted to make sure you knew that I knew Ryan. And that he plays games with the people he works with. And I wanted to make sure you heard it from me. I'm sorry I didn't say anything about it earlier. I was—I am—afraid of him." My insides twisted into knots, and my heart felt like it was trying to pound out of my chest.

"I'm afraid of him, and when he threatened me the other night about telling you and he would make sure I'd lose my job, I didn't say anything. But I am saying something now. Ryan has messed with my jobs in the past. It's why I'm a nanny. I didn't ever want to work with someone like him again."

Dylan cut his glare to me but didn't say anything.

I breathed a sigh of relief when the car started moving again. Dylan took the curves of the road too fast. I recognized that he was driving out his aggression. I did the same thing. This time, I kept my eyes closed and prayed the entire time that we didn't encounter someone else stopped in the middle of the road having an argument.

I didn't open my eyes until we were back and Dylan stopped the car and slammed the door on his way out. I watched him storm back into the house. I didn't know what had upset him so much. Was it that I had confessed to a relationship with another man at all? Or because it was Ryan? Or, more likely, that I hadn't trusted Dylan to tell him about Ryan from the moment he was in his house.

It didn't really matter what the cause was. He was angry.

I got Max out of his car seat. He was limp and asleep like the very first time I met him. I stroked his head and spoke in low tones. "I really did like being your nanny. I never should have caught feelings for your daddy. Don't be too sad when I'm gone. And be a good boy for your nanna."

He was asleep and didn't hear me, but I hoped my words would make their way into his memory. Not that I expected him to remember me for very long. I knew I wouldn't ever forget him or his father.

Dylan hadn't understood why I didn't want him telling people about us. I huffed out a half laugh. I didn't want him telling people when I had expected something like this to happen. I just hadn't expected it so soon.