6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Juliette

"You said what?" we shouted in unison. Caleb almost rear ended the SUV in front of us and we all jolted forward.

Kelsey's seatbelt clicked. "I didn't know what else to say, okay?"

"Kelsey, everyone is going to find out sooner or later. Telling Ana that Caleb is my boyfriend was not—"

"Well, telling her that my mom abandoned me and now I have a dad—not the one from my baby album but another dad—who came to pick me up with my dance teacher who I've been living with for the past three days isn't exactly pick-up conversation, now is it? Why is he even here, anyway?"

Caleb and I looked at each other. The volume in the stupid little sports car he'd rented was deafening. The silence that followed her outburst was even worse.

"Let's just get home and talk about everything," I offered.

"You have to open the studio."

"I got Miss Ina to cover my classes for tonight."

"Oh, because that's not obvious." She folded her arms across her chest and focused on the crawling traffic around us. "I'm not missing rehearsal tonight."

Caleb took a stab at easing the tension in the room. "I think that we should take tonight to get to know each other, and settle in."

Kelsey's breathing stopped. She swallowed and her lips twitched, suppressing whatever she was going to say.

Caleb looked at her through his rear-view mirror. "Kelsey," he breathed deeply, imitating that Star Wars guy with the black helmet, and the horror that hit my soul was too slow to stop him. "I am your father." Caleb had the gall to chuckle at his joke and I winced so viscerally that my mouth hung open. "What?" his eyes darted back and forth between mine and Kelsey in the back seat. "I was just trying to lighten the mood. You know? Star Wars? You're right. Sorry."

I caught a glimpse of Kelsey wiping a tear from her cheek. She shook her head and the only sounds left in the car on the whole ride home was her shaky breathing as she held back her sobs, the pop radio station, and my quiet directions to her house—their house.

Kelsey bolted from the car, and I gripped Caleb's shirt, pulling him off balance. "What the fuck, Caleb?"

"I know, okay? I do not need a scolding from you, Miss Juliette. I felt the same awkward silence that you did," he hissed, gathering groceries from the trunk. "I don't even like Star Wars."

The front door slammed shut and it said what Kelsey wasn't strong enough to verbalize herself. We both frowned at the way life carried on around us while the echo of that door filled the space between us and that little girl we were responsible for.

He was responsible for.

"Just, save the jokes for a more appropriate time," I said.

"I can't help it. I say stupid shit when I'm nervous." Caleb shifted from side to side. "Maybe you should go in and talk to her before I go in. Be the buffer, you know?"

"Stay in the kitchen." We nodded to each other and headed into the house. I noticed from the way he looked around, taking it all in, that he hadn't come while she was at school even though he had the keys.

Tucking that information away, I took a wild guess that the first bedroom in the hall was Kelsey's. I knocked softly on her door. "Kelsey?"

She didn't answer.

"Kelsey, can I come in?"

No answer.

I gripped the doorknob and turned. If she told me to go away, I would. I pushed the door open and found her on the bed, her schoolbooks around her, phone face down on her textbook. I asked her again if I could come in. When she lifted her eyes, they were red-rimmed and I saw the little girl behind them. The child that lived inside of the stoic young lady I knew.

Loved.

I closed the door behind me. "He's kind of an idiot," I started lightly. "I'm sorry he made that joke. He's sorry, too."

"So, what now? He's just going to pick me up at school and live in my house?" Kelsey hugged her knees to her chest.

"I assume you saw the results." She nodded. "I spent some time with him today. Vetted him out. He's an idiot, but he's nice. And sincere." I sat on the bed beside her and took in the pristine cleanliness of her room. "I know that you must be feeling so confused and lost. You have every right. I'm here for you. I want to help you and Caleb get adjusted to… being a family."

"A family. Yah, okay."

"Nothing is okay." I reached my hand out to hers. She recoiled from my touch. I crossed that extra two inches to take her fingertips in mine. "Nothing is okay about this. But here we are."

Kelsey went very still. Didn't return my eye contact. "She just left me. Without a word. She just, left," Kelsey broke. I grabbed her and smothered her sobs into my shoulder. "She left me with a stranger. He's a stranger."

"I know. I know." I fought my tears. I had no right to cry. No right to feel as torn and helpless as she did.

"How could she do that?" she sobbed. "It just proves that she never loved me. It was always the money. She only ever cared about the money."

"She loved you. I just think she got in over her head and had to leave." It was no secret that Erin was the go-to dealer for prescription drugs. Everyone in town knew it. Kelsey deserved the dignity of not having to tip-toe around that any longer with me.

She didn't skip a beat at the admission that I knew what her mother did for a living. "Fuck her. It's not my fault she and that asshole sold shit from the pharmacy she worked at! Fuck him for thinking he can just walk in and make dad jokes. Please, don't leave me with him!" She was whispering into my chest, her sobs shaking her whole body.

That fractured my strength. My tears fell onto the top of her head, staining that beautiful dark hair.

"Don't leave me with him."

The plea echoed until it shook the very foundation of my soul. It became impossible for me to refuse stay.

Caleb

I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but I needed to know if Juliette was plotting against me. I wasn't exactly on her good side, and I couldn't have her poisoning Kelsey against me. We were in a sort of truce, but I had reason to be wary of her.

It hurt that she called me an idiot. She was right, but she shouldn't be saying it to my daughter. This was hard enough as it was without any negative commentary from the peanut gallery.

I backed away from the doorway when I heard Kelsey cry desperately, pleading with Juliette not to leave her with me. I felt dirty and raw. Exposed.

I looked around the ranch-style house. Two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, and a sunroom with a fake fiddle leaf fig tucked behind an armchair. When I pushed open the master bedroom, I expected it to be empty. Everything, all of Erin's shit, was still there. She'd obviously packed a bag, as some of her clothes drawers were completely empty, but if you didn't look, you'd just think she went to work for the day. I imagined what it would have been like for me if my mother had up and left me at fifteen. The thought of empty bleachers at my games and meets had me pulling out my phone and texting my mom that I loved her .

I couldn't exactly call her just yet. She knew I was here, but nothing else.

Vikki had sent me a barrage of texts. I lied to her this morning and said I didn't have the results yet. Then I avoided her texts all day after that. I also lied and said I was working remotely today. Lying to Vikki was quickly evolving into a snowball situation.

I shut the door to Erin's room and decided that the den with an extra-large couch, would be my space for the night. My suitcase was in the car. I considered getting it and unpacking some essentials.

I didn't.

It felt invasive. Conquering. Overstepping an invisible, unspoken truth that I did not belong in this house. Framed photos of Erin and Kelsey punctuated a bookcase lined with photo albums. I didn't think anyone printed pictures anymore.

Kelsey's baby album was first on the shelf. It was a gaudy pink, frilly, abomination that I opened to reveal a picture of her right at birth. The tiny human wailing and covered in slimy film, that was Kelsey. The next photo was of Erin crying, star-struck, looking at her baby girl.

My baby girl.

No matter how hard I tried to make sense of the twisting, sinking feeling in my chest, I couldn't understand it. I hadn't had time to truly stop and fully understand that for fifteen years this little life existed because of me. While I finished grad school, got my first job, my first apartment, searched for a wife and rose to the top of my tech company… she lived this completely separate life out here.

Fifteen years is a long time. I flipped through the snapshots of the first year of Kelsey's life. Erin had denied me this. The guy she cheated on me with was in a lot of the pictures. The feeling of looking into the eyes of the man Kelsey thought was her father was surreal in every way. I tried to recall what I had been doing at the time of the pictures. Aside from healing a broken heart, those first six months after Erin left I was simply oblivious and working on my education.

Kelsey was learning how to smile .

I cursed Erin as I clamped the book shut and put it back on the shelf. Slinking past Kelsey's room, I headed to the kitchen to start dinner. I bought a package of chicken thighs and fresh vegetables right before picking up Juliette, and started unloading it all.

Maybe Kelsey was hungry. I couldn't do much, but I could cook. I could feed her and that could be the first thing I did for her as a father.

Juliette joined me sometime later and leaned against the counter next to me. "Kelsey is having a very hard time with the idea of being left alone with you tonight. She's been living with me…" Juliette's brows furrowed, and she bit her bottom lip. After a moment of warring with her thoughts, Juliette admitted hesitantly, "We both thought you weren't going to stay. I didn't prepare for this."

I was hurt, but not surprised. "Did she say what would make her feel more comfortable?"

"I suggested a lock on the inside of her door," Juliette said. She crossed her ankles and folded her arms across her chest. I prepared myself for another sparring of words. "She wants to come home with me."

"I feel like this is a rip off the band-aid kind of thing."

Juliette and I settled into another one of our tense moments, where we looked at each other and played chicken with our silence. She took a deep breath and broke eye contact, showcasing a side profile that was crafted from marble. "I don't know what the right thing to do is," she sighed. "I figured you weren't keen on letting her live with me, so I compromised and said I'd stay the night. I want you to get the lock and install today."

"Sure. Deadbolt or doorknob with a lock?"

"Deadbolt."

"Will you watch the chicken for me, make sure it doesn't burn?"

Juliette leaned over the stove and took the lid off the pot. "Sure. What's for dinner?"

"Chicken and rice. Nothing fancy."

Juliette smiled, and it caught me off guard. "What do I do?" she asked, peeking over the rim of the pot and sniffing the browning chicken thighs .

"Add an inch of chicken stock to the pot when it needs." I shrugged on my sweater and grabbed the keys I dropped on the counter. When I reached the front door, Juliette's voice froze me on the spot.

"Did you see Erin's room? Do you think she will come back?"

The question lay there, between us. A slumbering giant. There was no doubt behind my response, no hesitation or thought. "Erin has abandoned everyone and everything in her life that I know of. She is destructive, and I think, incapable of love. When she walks away, she disappears forever. She's like a tornado, you get swept up in her and then she leaves you and the chaos she created behind."

Juliette's expression softened, as though she felt relief. She studied me, watched me for clues into my past with Erin. I'd said enough. It was enough. This was the last mess of Erin's I would clean up. She better never come back. If she dared, I'd take her to court myself. She fucking filed as if she was relinquishing custody and not abandoning a minor. Always the martyr, wasn't she?

I halted that train of thought. It was no use letting that anger boil over and cloud the present. I faked my best smile and jingled my keys at Juliette, "I, however, will be back in a bit."