43. Roan

43

ROAN

I didn’t think. Didn’t wait.

I just let go.

The shift roared through me in an instant, transforming me into the massive form of the demon.

Yet unlike every time before, the demon didn’t shove my awareness into a dark and foggy abyss. Instead, I remained at the forefront, the demon riding with me behind our shared eyes. We were distinct, yet joined. Two personalities, two minds within our changing body.

And both of us agreed this bastard Norbert needed to die.

“Protect the king!” Dex called behind me. The others drew in, bracing themselves to defend Niko.

My brother.

The thought made me shudder, but there was no time to let it sink in. Raising a short, rusty knife, Norbert lunged with a deranged battle cry.

My claws shredded his arm. My other hand shredded his throat.

Giant or not, he was no match for what I’d become.

Norbert’s weapon went flying as his bloody corpse toppled to the ground. The crowd screamed.

“Monster!” The duke snatched up the blade that had clattered away from the idiot who tried to hurt my brother.

Oh, gods, I had a brother…

My chest ached, my longing for that to be true so strong it was physically painful. But now that entitled asshole was?—

Brock crashed into the duke. With a swift motion, the younger man disarmed Duke Ensid and took control of the knife. Spinning it smoothly in his grasp, Brock slammed it through the man’s heart.

Duke Ensid stopped cold, his mouth gaping. His hands rose, clutching at Brock’s tight grip on the weapon buried hilt-deep in his chest. “Y-you… you…”

Brock’s face was like ice, and his tone was too. “To disrespect the king is punishable by death.” With a jerk, he yanked the blade from the duke’s chest, sending the dead man toppling to the ground.

The duke’s few remaining henchmen skidded to a halt. Their eyes darted from me to Brock and then to my friends. Quickly, they held up their hands. “H-hail King Niko,” stammered the one in the lead. His buddies echoed the words, suddenly appearing eager to be anywhere but here.

Brock looked past me at Clay and Lars, but since the demon and I both struggled to read people on a good day, neither of us had a chance in hell of interpreting his expression now.

Meanwhile, my friends just seemed stunned.

And behind them was… my brother .

My entire body shuddered. How could Niko be related to me when I was this ?

I wanted it to be true, though. Gods, I needed it to be. I’d lost my childhood family, and I’d spent years fearing that, if the truth about my nature was revealed, the new family I’d built with my friends would be destroyed too. And when my beautiful, precious treluria Gwyneira came along, that fear had only grown.

But things had changed. I’d learned I could stay in control. My demon side and I both could. Right now it even felt like the demon was taking our bargain one step farther, letting me stay in control and at the forefront of our shared mind in this form. Like it was giving me a peace offering, trying to prove it really could be trusted, even when we were like this .

And meanwhile the gods I’d always thought hated me had rewarded me with a brother .

Discomfort flashed over Niko’s face as I stared at him.

Oh, fuck me. I was a moron in either form. What about how he must feel about this? Yes, he and I had come to a truce. Quite a good one, since he was willing to share Gwyneira with me.

But that didn’t mean he’d be happy to find out I, of all people, was actually related to him.

His mouth moved like he was searching for words, but nothing came out.

My stomach turned to lead. Oh, this was bad. And here I was, standing around like an idiot in demon form, probably making it all worse.

At least this time I had pants on. I should thank Clay for that.

I was stalling.

With a shudder, I tried to shift back, but the demon didn’t want to go. It agreed that, yes, this was awkward. Excruciatingly so, in point of fact. But we had higher priorities here, namely that we were still surrounded by potential enemies who could hurt our treluria.

So what if I was a monster with blood coating my hands? That was a good warning to anyone who’d consider fucking with what was ours.

Embarrassment gnawed at me. Yeah, okay, the demon had a point. Except there were plenty of regular folk here too, and gods , they were staring.

I looked around, feeling a bit frantic. If I’d been in human form, my face would have been burning brighter than a cherry because of how badly I was messing everything up. As it was, I faltered with indecision and then bent to dunk my hands in the pool. It was probably disrespectful as hell to get blood in the holy water, but what else was I supposed to?—

Gwyneira’s hand came to rest on my side. “Demon?”

Oh gods, how did I explain this ? My mind, his body, and neither of us with the slightest fucking clue about how to handle anything at all.

“Breathe,” she whispered.

My eyes darted to her, and gratitude tangled with the confused panic inside me. Her smile was like a lifeline, saving me from drowning.

Saving us both.

Beyond her, the others were gathering, making sure that even if I was distracted she stayed safe among these giants.

My gratitude only grew, and after a heartbeat, the demon decided that, okay, perhaps we could let down our guard—a little . As long as I swore that if anyone tried to hurt her, he could come back and unleash fucking murder.

A rough breath left me. Deal.

My body shifted back to my Erenlian form.

“You okay?” she asked softly.

My mouth moved soundlessly. I was great except I might be awful. It all depended on whether Niko thought being related to me was the worst thing that could have ever happened to?—

Small splashing sounds brought my thoughts up short. From the corner of my eye, I saw Niko walking closer, Ignatius following.

Shit, I couldn’t even breathe.

“Okay, wait, hold on.” Clay’s urgent words snapped my attention back around.

Oh, fuck. Brock was starting across the room toward us, the knife still in his hands.

The demon surged inside me again. We shouldn’t have shifted so soon. We’d been fools to let our guard down so?—

“Easy,” Dex cautioned in a low voice.

Was he talking to the others or me?

Brock stopped far short of my friends. With his hands out to his sides, he dropped to one knee. Placing the knife on the floor, he pushed it away, letting it skitter across the gritty marble tiles to our feet. “On behalf of myself and those close to me, I pledge our loyalty and lives to King Niko.” His jaw muscles clenched briefly. “And I offer my apologies to my brothers.”

“What the fuck…?” Clay whispered.

Brock’s eyes flicked up to the twins. “I’m sorry. I was a child but still a coward, and I should have stood up for both of you.”

Clay’s brow climbed. Lars blinked, speechless.

“I won’t ask your forgiveness,” Brock continued, his gaze dropping back to the floor. “Only that if you decide to ask the king for retribution, you would spare my family and only punish me.”

The twins turned in unison, unspoken what-the-fuck looks passing between them. “F-family?” Lars asked.

Brock glanced over his shoulder, nodding to someone in the crowd.

A woman emerged from among the giants. Her stone-like skin was the color of dark brown marble, with whorls of amber and tan through it in a beautiful pattern. Her moss-like hair was deep amber, and her eyes were as well. Covered in a threadbare scrap of blanket, a small form lay curled in her arms.

At Brock’s murmured reassurance, she walked closer. Her eyes darted across all of us like she was torn between running and fighting to defend her family, and I didn’t miss how many times her wary gaze landed on me.

The monster who looked like a man.

“This is my wife, Fleur, and our daughter,” Brock said.

Fleur carefully lowered herself to one knee beside her husband, keeping her little one carefully secured. “Your Highness,” she murmured to Niko. “Thank you for trying to protect Nadine and for saving us from the mines. I’m so sorry Brock couldn’t speak up to help you sooner. Duke Ensid made him a part of his inner circle on the basis of blood, but he held our lives over his head. Had my husband showed even the slightest sign of disrespect …” The word held an edge of old and bitter pain, even as she trailed off with a wince.

Niko blinked for a heartbeat. “I-I understand,” he said, sounding stunned.

But then, we all were. Even Casimir seemed frozen, only his eyes moving as they bounced from Niko to the twins to the family before us. Gods, I didn’t think any of us knew what to do.

Except Gwyneira.

A warm smile spread over her face. She walked closer to them, ignoring a strangled what-are-you-doing protest from Clay. “No one will harm your family, you have my word.” She cocked her head at the baby. “May I see her?”

The woman pulled aside a corner of the blanket, revealing an infant with a tousled crop of amber-and-gold hair and wide eyes.

“Her name is Clarissa,” Fleur said. “Brock chose it, as a mix of their names.” She nodded briefly at the twins. “To honor the brothers he lost.”

Gwyneira glanced back at Clay and Lars, her lips parting in a silent O.

“Well… fuck.” Clay’s voice was thick with emotion. “That’s just?—”

Lars elbowed him, his eyes never leaving the baby. “We’re uncles now. You’ve got to clean up your language.”

Gwyneira gave a soft laugh as a choked “yeah, okay” came from Clay.

I retreated while the others drew closer to the family, my gaze darting around the crowded room. There could still be enemies here. One of us needed to keep an eye out. For the gods’ sakes, a baby was involved now. We couldn’t risk someone hurting us or the little one.

And yeah, never mind that I felt like I was dog-paddling in the ocean, unable to keep my head above water with the speed at which everything was?—

“Roan?” Niko’s voice was hesitant.

Fuck.

I cleared my throat. “Yeah?”

“Um…” He looked around like whatever words he wanted might be hiding somewhere in the temple. “About what King Archerias said…”

Fuck, fuck, fuck …

“ Did you know about that?”

I gaped at him, incredulous. “Did I—” What the hell? “ No .”

My voice was sharp, and I didn’t mean it to be. But Niko just nodded—seemingly mostly to himself, and then turned to Ignatius. “How is it possible? Roan and I—” He faltered. “I mean…”

The elderly scholar regarded us both like he was examining every inch of our features for similarities—which was insane. Yes, okay, Niko had dark eyes like mine. Maybe a little bit of the same face shape. But most days, I looked like death warmed over and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it, while he looked…

Well, alive .

“There was a woman,” Ignatius said. “Her name was…” He searched for a moment. “Jessora, yes. That was it. Beautiful girl. Pitch-black hair. Dark eyes. She was not of noble birth, but she had a… an almost otherworldly quality about her. A sadness, too, as if she’d lost something precious. Rumors whispered that it may have been a lover or a child, but to my knowledge, she never confirmed any of the stories. She came from a village in the mountains, where the king met her on a hunting trip. From the moment he laid eyes on her, he was enamored.”

I had so many questions, I couldn’t sort them into words. My adoptive parents always told me my biological mother was a girl from another village. That she’d been young and alone, too scared to raise a child by herself. So she’d given me up, and when my… well, other side revealed itself years later, no one could find her again to ask what I was.

But this…

“What happened to her?” Gwyneira asked as she came up beside me, her hand returning to my arm in a gesture of comfort.

And gods, the small contact helped.

Ignatius sighed. “King Archerias’s position was complicated. He had enemies in the royal court, and they did not want him making a strange, quiet village girl his queen. So, one winter’s night, they kidnapped her. The king was enraged. He ordered a search of the entire kingdom, and eventually, his loyal soldiers found the ones who took her.” Ignatius’s mouth tightened. “I was present for their questioning. They were… nearly incoherent. Shaken so badly, yet none would say why. Even after days of interrogation, they gave us no answers.” He shook his head. “But Jessora was never seen again.”

Gwyneira’s fingers tightened on my arm, her expression radiating support, and damn, I loved her for it. Loved her too for how she reached out to Niko, taking his hand and squeezing it in silent comfort.

“There were rumors, however,” Ignatius continued, “that she was with child when she was taken. And if that was the case, and she had the babe while in the custody of those scoundrels…” His brow rose and fell as he regarded Niko.

“So,” Niko said like he was trying to find his voice. “If it was a child she’d lost before meeting the king, and then if she was pregnant when the kidnappers took her too…”

He stared at me. “ That’s what the echo was. The thing nature has been trying to tell me over and over, even after we found out about the demon. I just never imagined it could mean you’re my…” He smiled like this was sort of amazing. “My brother.”

“But—” My voice was choked, and gods help me, I didn’t want to make him think I hated this idea. I just…

I wasn’t used to hope , even now.

“But I’m this ,” I managed to say. “A monster, and you’re not, and?—”

Gwyneira’s hand slid up my arm, and when my eyes found her own, her expression was achingly kind. “Who says Jessora couldn’t have fallen in love with a monster?”

My fears and doubts broke at her gentle question, melting down into a molten craving to hold her, have her, never let her go. She brought stability to my world and light to my darkness. What could I have ever done to deserve someone like her?

Nothing, that’s what. Gwyneira defied logic and description.

And she was mine.

Ours, the demon pointed out.

Yes, that.

“There is, however, the matter of the Nine,” Ignatius started. “And the impending doom to the world that has been foretold.”

All my doubts and anger came rushing back. Oh, for the love of the gods, couldn’t we stop for one damned minute? The twins had a niece, I had a brother, the duke and his son were dead on the floor, and Ignatius wanted to talk about the end of the fucking?—

“Tomorrow,” Gwyneira told the scholar, her voice calm but firm. “Please.”

Gods, I loved her.

Ignatius looked ready to argue.

“She’s right,” Niko cut in before he could speak. “Whatever all of this means, we can talk about it later. The end of the world can wait for a few hours.”

Ignatius frowned, and every old anxiety I had knew why. Apocalypses didn’t wait. They happened whether we liked it or not.

But dammit, I couldn’t handle much more of this, and from the looks on the faces of all my friends, I wasn’t alone.

I just hoped the gods would give us time.