3. Maddy

Chapter 3

Maddy

H ow the fates can I be seeing another Valkyrie's val-tivar ?

Erik told me explicitly, more than once, that no Valkyrie could ever see another's magical animal.

So it should not be possible for me to be watching the ethereal snake, as unnerving as it is beautiful, coil around Kain's ruined shoulder. But I am.

Its whole body is semi-translucent, but it gleams bright yellow, and though the creature is not huge in width—comparable to my forearm—its length goes on forever. As I follow the winding, interlocking scales, I guess that if it were on the ground, stretched straight, it would be twenty feet long at least. There's a faint hiss as it flicks its forked tongue out, which is immediately masked by Kain giving a grunt of pain, hismuscles seizing up as the serpent sinks transparent fangs into his skin. I wince, then stare, as sinew and bone knits back together under the snake's glowing scales.

Emotion rises through me like a tidal wave, making my breathing shallow again. Valdis is watching me, and I murmur something about feeling sick. She looks back at Kain, apparently satisfied with the reason for my wide-eyed reaction, and I suck down air, trying to calm myself.

I was supposed to have a snake val-tivar.

It was supposed to heal my broken brain and put an end to the constant fear that every day might be my last.

Bone-deep disappointment seeps through me. I can't watch the incredible creature before me, because sorrow and disappointment will overwhelm me. I want Kain healed, of course. But it's too painful to see what I will never get.

My skin flashes cold suddenly, and I gasp as a brand-new feeling floods my system. My mind fills with an image of the colossal white bear, and somehow she's smashing her way through the desolation as fiercely as she crashed into the Frost Giant.

Strength . Strength is pouring through me, resolve and courage forcing out doubt and sadness.

My val-tivar is an animal of strength. She is the power behind a berserker—the most fearsome warriors in all of Yggdrasil .

Wasn't strength exactly what I've lacked my whole life? Exactly what I havestrived for since coming to Featherblade?

"If you can't handle it, wait outside," Valdis mutters to me, and I realize I am totally failing to mask anything that is happening in my head.

"I-I—" I stammer, but thenErik steps back from Kain, and the snake winds up around his arm before resting across his shoulders. I could swear it darts a look at me, then slowly fades from view.

"It will be stiff and sore for a week," Erik says to Kain.The shoulder is whole once more, an angry red scar forming, the only sign of how close he came to losing his arm entirely. "You're lucky I was able to tend you so soon."

"Lucky?" Kain glares at him. "You chained me to a fucking post and left me there. When we were attacked, the only one of you who came was Valdis. And you expect me to thank you? "

Valdis clears her throat. "We have had a breach of our defenses, and we need to deal with it, not bicker amongst ourselves. Frost Giants shouldn't have been able to set foot near Featherblade, let alone get inside. How in the name of Thor's hammer did they get in?"

Erik frowns. "The enchantments guarding Featherblade are ancient and powerful. To circumvent them…" He trails off.

"Would require immense magical skill and inside knowledge," Valdis finishes grimly. My stomach clenches at the implication, but Kain barks a harsh laugh.

"Someone in here helped them? The mighty Valkyrie brought down by one of their own—why am I not surprised? Honor and glory my arse. You're all self-serving fucking?— "

Valdis cuts him off. "Was it you?"

"You know it wasn't."

"Then shut up. This is not the time for your grudges, Kain. Like it or not, we're all in this fight together."

Kain's eyes flash. "There is no together ."

She holds his glower a moment, and the unjustifiable discomfort that there is, or was, something between them returns to me. It's making me angry that I care—I don't have room for any more emotions right now, and certainly not ones that don't even make sense.

"What the fuck just happened?" Brynhild bursts into the room, the door slamming open as loudly as her barked question.

She pauses as she sees me, then looks between the four of us, and some of her composure returns. "Why is she here?" She juts her chin at me.

I wish I could stand tall and strong and answer myself, but fatigue is washing through me, and I feel like my brain is so full that trying to form words will only make me look stupid.

"She saved Kain's life," Valdis says.

Both Erik and Brynhild blink at me.

"How?"

"I don't know." Valdis turns to me too, and their combined expectant looks make me want to sink through the floor.

They won't believe me if I tell them about the bear. I know they won't, and I have no evidence whatsoever to back my story up.

"I don't know what happened," I lie .

"Did your magic finally present itself?" Brynhild asks sharply.

I open my mouth and close it again two or three times as I try to work out how to answer, and she tuts at me with an exasperated sigh. She holds out a hand and gestures for me to step forward. Reluctance grips me. I let her in once before, and I'm still not sure it was the right thing to do. I have no idea how much she can get out of my head when I allow her access.

When I don't move, she fists her hand on her hip instead. "If you will not obey orders, you can leave."

Erik steps forward. "Have you summoned Sigrun?" he asks, directing his question at her.

"Of course I have. She will be here within the hour."

"Then we must prepare for her arrival. It is us who should leave."

Brynhild's lips thin, but she turns and strides out of the room. "To the Gryphon's Nest, then," she throws back over her shoulder as she stomps out. Valdis' face is serious as she follows after her.

As Erik starts to leave, I speak. " Hersir ?"

He stops and turns to me, eyebrows raised. "Yes?"

"Was anybody hurt?" I ask.

He nods gravely. "Yes, two rooks died."

"Who?" I feel guilty as a tiny part of me hopes that the rooks that didn't make it were Inga and Orgid. But he gives me two names I'm not particularly familiar with.

"Alice and Hans."

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. I swallow, then ask the question I'm truly dreading the answer to. "Were any of the humans injured?"

He shakes his head, and relief washes through me, making me sag. "No, the Frost Giants didn't get inside the High Hall, and very few humans venture outside."

"Thank the gods for that," I sigh.

"He will sleep for a long time," Erik says, and gestures to Kain. I didn't realize that the fire-fae had passed out, but remembered how abruptly sleep took me after Erik healed my foot. "You look like you could use some rest too." His voice is gentle, and for a beat, I consider asking him about everything that has happened, and actually confiding in him. He's the wisest and kindest Valkyrie here. But as I stare between him and Kain, my lips form a different question instead.

"May I sleep here?"

There are two other pallets in the room, and I wave at one of them—the closest to Kain's, I realize.

Erik fixes me with an intense gaze. "Kain will be perfectly safe in here," he says slowly, "if you are worried about him."

I shake my head. "I…" I start, but I'm not sure how to finish the sentence.

"Are there no fae who will be relieved to see you safe?" Erik asks, and there's a heavy tone to his voice. He already knows the answer to that, I'm sure. Not wanting his pity, but also unable to lie to him, I shrug.

"It's quiet here, and I like the quiet." I stop myself from looking back at Kain, but Erik sighs .

"Kain is serving punishment at Featherblade," he says quietly.

"I know he is."

"You appear to be very interested in him," Erik pushes.

Indignation starts to swell, and I think about protesting, but I haven't got the energy. "He is interested in me," I say instead, fatigue seeping through my words. "He's hard to get rid of."

"Do you wish him to leave you alone?"

The question makes me falter. Do I want him to stop watching me? He's being paid by my family with a secret he doesn't know they don't have without me. It's a complicated situation, and not one I am willing to talk to Erik about. I'm certainly not going to mention the searing fascination that has been plaguing me for weeks, nor the fact that for some inexplicable reason I just risked my life to save his.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he says.

"Kain and Valdis…"

I see the healer's lips quirk at the corners. "What about them?"

"Are they…?" I trail off, unable to keep myself from looking at Kain's sleeping face.

"They have an affinity, yes," Erik says.

I tilt my head as I look at him. "An affinity?" I ask. "Does that mean they're friends, or more than friends?"

"It means that they are part of the same pack." Understanding filters through me. So, Valdis has a wolf val-tivar, the same as Kain.

"And that's all they share?" I ask slowly.

"It is enough. If and when you get your own val-tivar , you will discover that you feel an affinity with those with the same power animal. There are very few of us who are bestowed the power of a Valkyrie, and even fewer who survive long enough to tell others about it," he says, with a dry smile. "Not many know what it's like to be possessed by the power of an animal. Those who share the experience feel a connection."

The urge to tell him that I will never know what it feels like either, because my val-tivar did arrive, and it didn't possess me, bubbles up inside me. I want to ask him if I will now have an affinity with Harald, or with any other rooks here who develop a bear val-tivar too . In fact,I want to ask him a hundred questions. But I clamp my mouth closed.

"Why do you ask about Kain and Valdis?" Erik asks me. I feel my cheeks pink. "Be careful, Madivia. You are the most interesting rook the gods have sent here, and I am quite sure you will serve an important purpose. If that purpose involves Kain the Ruinous, then so be it. But if it does not, you must guard yourself."

Before I can answer him, he turns and sweeps from the room.