14. Maddy

Chapter 14

Maddy

M ost of the silent faces staring at me as I heave in shaky breaths are shocked or confused. But one of them stands out from the others, because it's the only one smiling.

Kain.

He's standing between two trees, further back from the spring than everybody else. His wolf is flickering beside him.

He came to help me, I know he did. I saw him. But… she got here first.

I tear my eyes from the fire-fae and turn to the bear. My bear.

It's hard not to step back, she's so big, and my instinct is to protect myself. Huge black eyes blink at me.

"Thank you," I breathe.

In response, her form flickers.

"No!" I cry, and reach for her fur, but my fingers close around thin air. Once again, she's vanished.

"Fuck!" I stamp my foot. Ice cracks beneath me, and there's a ripple of murmurs from the fae staring. Slowly, I walk across the frozen spring back to the bank. Nobody says a word, and for some reason my feet are carrying me toward Kain. Why? Why would I go to him? I force them to change direction, moving instead toward Orgid.

His mouth isn't hanging open like some of the others, but his eyes are narrow and hard. Inga's sitting on the bank beside the water, barely having gotten out in time before she got trapped in the ice. Henrik's sluicing water off beside her, his eyes furious."What the fates do you think you were doing?" he shouts at the shivering fire-fae, breaking the silence, and I'm relieved it's not me who had to. "This is a friendly game, and you tried to kill her!" He throws an arm out toward me, spraying water over her.

She stands up, glaring straight back at Henrik."She's not one of us," Inga spits. "She's a dunga , she'll get us all killed. Removing the weak link is the valiant thing to do."

"Weak link? Not only can she sure as fuck swim faster than you, she just got rescued by a massive fucking bear!" says a female voice. It's Garda, the impressively powerful female shadow-fae who survived the Oskorela and brought her dead companion back. "Does that make you a weak link? You have no magic, you can't swim, and I don't see a magical animal showing up to help you right now. Maybe you're the dunga ."

"If she'd passed out, the same thing would have happened," snarls Orgid, stepping up beside Inga. "We were just speeding things along a little. "

"Horseshit," says Eldith. "You dragged her down, and then stopped anyone from getting to her! That is not what would have happened if she had fainted." There's a loud murmur of voices, and the reality of what is happening dawns on me.

Fae are defending me.

So far, I've said nothing, and the others are defending me.

Dimec and Thira move behind Inga and Orgid, just as I reach them. "You're a danger to all of us. You're going to end up like Branka, and that bear will rip us all apart," Dimec says. His face and tone don't have the venom Inga's carries when she looks at me, but he's clearly picked a side.

I've reached Orgid, and I don't even think before I act. I kick my bare foot out toward his stomach. He moves to block me, and just as Eldith has been practicing with me, the second his attention is on my leg, I snap out my fist.

Pain explodes in my knuckles as I make contact with his prominent cheekbone.

Fury fills his face as he reacts, throwing an anger-fueled punch at me. I duck, only just in time, and when I straighten, Garda, Henrik, and Eldith are standing right behind me.

"Orgid," I say, letting the adrenaline and rage coursing through me fill my voice. "If you touch me again with those shadows…" I'll what? Kill him?

I know I'm not capable of killing somebody. But… perhaps the bear is?

Bitterness that I can't keep her around long enough to find out swirls through me, and I snarl at the shadow fae.

"You'll what?" he spits. It's quiet enough that I don't think anybody else can hear. "Set your fire-fae on me? Set your big, angry bear on me? I don't think so. You're a defender—that's how you've stayed alive this long. You're not a fighter."

He's wrong. I've been fighting my whole life, against an invisible enemy.

"Whatever your problem is with me, get over it. This is done. Leave. Me. Alone." I say it loud enough that every other fae can hear me, then turn away from him.

Emotions I've not felt before are whirling through my body. I feel alive with exhilaration, laced with rage and frustration, and it's making my head light and my skin tingle. I guess it is adrenaline, and it feels… good . I feel strong.

I march to where my clothes are, scoop them up, and make my way through the silent fae, out of the glade. Nobody follows me, but I feel Kain's gaze on me the whole way.

I want him to come to me. He'll understand the rush I'm feeling right now.

Which is exactly why you should avoid him, Maddy.

I'm deep into the trees, halfway between the springs and the Wolf Wing, when I sense him behind me.

"You'll want to ice that hand," he growls. I slow, then turn to him.

Willing it to work, I hold up my fist, which is bruising already, especially around the second split knuckle, and think about ice. Shining blue frost appears, then solidifies over my fingers. I grin, then let out a sigh as I realize how much it soothes the throbbing.

"I hadn't even noticed it hurt," I say softly.

"She's magnificent."

"What?"

"Your bear. Fucking. Magnificent." He steps closer to me, and my eyes skim his chest. His shirt is open to the waist. I bite my tongue as I stare up into his face, dropping my bundle of clothes.

"She is."

"She's a part of you."

Is he calling me magnificent? His eyes are sparkling, his voice a tiny bit breathless. Am I imagining it, or is he as fired up as I am?

I swallow. "She left again."

"She'll be back. And in the meantime, apparently, you can punch anyone who tries to kill you yourself."

"I've been practicing." I step into him, as close as I dare. Why? Why am I stepping into him? I'm already too hot, too worked up, too everything to be able to think straight.

He steps back. "Play with fire and you'll get burned, princess," he growls.

"Why do I feel…" I trail off, not knowing the right word.

"Alive? Powerful?" His eyes burn into mine. "Aroused?"

I nod wordlessly .

"Bloodlust, princess. You have the power of a berserker in there somewhere."

I suck in a long breath. Bloodlust. I'm not a violent person. I didn't even draw blood. But fuck, do I want to hit Orgid again.

"He tried to kill me. They hate me enough to actually try to kill me." The reality of that seeps through the haze.

"And now, every single one of them knows how dangerous you are."

"It wasn't that good of a punch."

"The snarling eight-foot bear should give them something to think about, though."

A new thrill buzzes through me. He's right. They all saw her, about twenty other fae. And they all saw her act independently of me.

"She saved me," I say, the memory of what just happened replaying before my eyes. "She swam under me and lifted me from the water."

A flare in Kain's eyes makes the memory fade and my attention sharpen on him. "She's different. Just like you."

A stab pierces my hazy elation. "Why do I always have to be different? It would be nice, for once, to be normal."

His hard, beautiful face contorts. "Normal is shit." I blink at his words. "The whole concept of normal is horseshit. There's no such thing. It's a word for routine. Something I doubt you'll ever keep."

Is he right? Normal is what you make it, I guess. For me, that includes the promise of passing out and never waking up every day. That's a normalcy I could do without.

I nod slowly. "Why is she different?"

"Because you are. You need to punish them," he says, and my skin tingles at his tone. His voice has dropped, and I can see sparks beside him. His wolf. Do the sparks mean he's keeping it at bay? Or starting to will him out?

I want to ask, but I shake my head instead. "They've seen her now. They'll leave me alone."

"No. They have shown you how much they fear you. Now that will worsen."

"Fear me?" I gape at him.

"Why else do you think they have targeted you since you arrived?"

I spread my arms out. "Because I'm weak and it makes them feel powerful? I've seen a hundred powerful fae do it at court."

He gives an angry scoff. "They are not powerful. They are wealthy. There's a difference."

I shrug. "Does it matter? The point is, they feel big when they make others feel small."

"That is not why they just tried to kill you, princess," he growls. "Every single Valkyrie here, and every single fae, has wanted to know why you were brought to Featherblade. It wasn't for your strength, and it wasn't for your magic. Which means you have something else. And fae like Orgid?" His voice rasps on the shadow-fae's name, as though it's a bad taste in his mouth. "They fear anything they don't understand, can't control, or might be more powerful than them. "

I stare, trying to believe his words. It is an explanation, of sorts, for the questions I've been asking for weeks. "If they are so cruel and dishonorable, then why did the gods let them come here?"

"We all must be tested, princess."

My eyes dart to his shoulders. Where his wings should be.

His mouth twists. "I failed no tests here," he hisses. "And it counted for nothing. If I'm to be cast as the villain, I'll fucking act like one. I'll punish those little pricks for trying to kill you today."

"No."

"Why not?"

"A hundred reasons."

"Starting with?"

I don't want the whole of Featherblade to think I need Kain to stand up for me.

I don't want to see him punished in return.

I don't want to seek revenge… because I'm scared I'll like how it feels.

"They aren't worth the time or effort," I say as firmly as I can. "And they are my enemies to deal with, not yours,"

An angry rumble in his throat is the only response I get.

"Kain, don't touch them. I mean it." I put my hands on my hips, then jump a little at how cold my iced hand is.

The fire-fae stares at me. "You're giving me orders in nothing but a dripping wet shirt and a pair of boots," he says quietly.

Realization washes over me, and color leaps to my cheeks. "Yes. I am," I choke out, any authority in my voice vanished.

Shit! How in the name of Freya's tits did I forget that I had no fucking trousers on?

"I need to go now." I scoop up my trousers and leather wrap, then turn. I'm now painfully aware that he will be able to see my backside clearly; the damp cloth is completely stuck to it. Is that any better, or worse, than my shirt clinging to my breasts, which he's been standing in front of for the entire conversation?

Face aflame, I march through the forest. "Featherblade, you have a lot to answer for," I whisper through clenched teeth. If even a little of what Kain just said is true, and me and my bear are different, then it's even more important that I meet her.

Please, please, please, send me back my bear, and let her stay this time.