12. Maddy

Chapter 12

Maddy

I 'm ready to finish my shield when we enter the fire pit in the afternoon.

I need to use everything that Sarra has taught me about carving—she is used to wood, but the principles of her methods work on the softer silver metal I'm using for the bear image in the very center of the shield—to make all the finishing touches to the front of the shield, and I need to weld on the straps to the connectors that I've made. It's all a little bit clumsy, and it's certainly not perfect, but I'm pleased with my progress, and I think Sarra will be too.

Harald mostly leaves us to ourselves in forging now, sitting in the corner and only looking up from his book when somebody asks for assistance, but when most other folk have left and I'm still hammering, he comes over to me.

"That's a fair-sized shield," he says. "Can you lift it?" He knows I've used lightweight materials so that my less-than-muscular arms won't tire too quickly. I pass it to him, and he moves it around experimentally. His hulking arms are almost the size of my waist, and he makes it look like it weighs nothing at all.

"Excellent. You obviously take well to the forge. I'm pleased," he says. He turns the shield around, and I see his eyes widen and his arms stiffen. "That's an interesting choice of centerpiece," he says slowly. He takes his eyes from the shield and fixes them on me. "A bear?"

I nod. What Erik said about Kain and Valdis having an affinity because they both have wolf val-tivars floats through my head. Sarra says I have to talk to one of them about the bear, and given that his own val-tivar is one, perhaps Harald is the one to talk to. If there's any chance he can help me get her back, then it's worth a try.

"I think my val-tivar is a bear," I say quietly, forcing myself to hold his gaze and trying not feel stupid saying it.

His eyebrows rise. "You think?"

"I know."

He frowns, eyebrows dropping as fast as they rose. "How do you know?" Concern flicks through his eyes, and I realize he's worried about another Branka situation. Possibly I'm worried about another Branka situation, but I force that concern down.

"I saw her when the Frost Giants attacked, but now she's gone."

I can see doubt in Harald's face. "You saw her, and now she's gone?"he repeats.

"Yes."

"Okay," he says slowly. "What did she do?"

Oh, fates, here we go. I take a breath, then tell him. "She knocked the Frost Giant off Kain," I say.

Harald gives an impressed nod. "I've got to be honest, I didn't expect berserker powers for you. I was expecting healing, particularly with your"—he waves a hand at me—"ailment."

"I know, I thought I would get a snake too, but she was very, very much a bear. She was huge," I say. He's assumed that she possessed me and that I knocked the Frost Giant off Kain, and I'm not sure how to correct him.

Harald nods again, pride in his face. "My boy is big too," he says.

"Like eight feet tall?" I venture.

One brow rises. "About that, yes."

"She acted independently of me," I say quickly.

Harald shakes his head. "No, that's not possible."

"Well, she did. I hadn't even reached Kain when she appeared and smashed into that creature."

Harald says nothing for a long moment. Then he hands me my shield back. "You must have hit your head, Madivia," he says gently.

Frustration storms through me. This is what I feared would happen if I tried to talk to any of them. "No, hersir , I saw her. And now my ice magic is working."

Harald pauses. "This all seems very unlikely."

"I know it does, but why would I lie?"

"You should talk to Brynhild," he says. "She is the wisest of all of us. If anyone has heard of this happening before, it will be her. And she is an ice-fae too. She should be able to help you with your magic."

I grind my teeth together. I wanted to talk to Harald because he has a bear val-tivar , not to Brynhild about ice magic. "She doesn't want to help me. She doesn't like me," I say. I try not to sound immature as I say it, but I can hear the petulance in my voice. "You have a bear val-tivar ," I say. "Can't you help me?"

He puts one huge hand on my shoulder. "If you see her again, come and find me," he says. "And, rook, I meant it about the shield. It's good work."

"Thank you, hersir ," I mutter. He lets go of my shoulder and ambles out of the forge.

Last week, his praise for the shield would have made me feel good, like I was improving. Excelling, even. But I see the doubt in his eyes. He doesn't believe me.

And can I blame him? The erratic princess with no magic, who faints and can't keep up with the others, gets an eight-foot bear nobody can see?

I thump my fist against my leg in annoyance and look at the bear on the shield.

"I will get you back," I whisper. "With or without help."

Kain believed you. He even guessed you had a bear.

I snarl at my own voice in my head. Kain is dangerous and working on his own agenda.

I pick up the shield and strap my arm into it.

Without the bear, I can prove nothing. Until then, nothing changes. I train, I improve, I survive.

When I'm doing my laps around the Battleyard that evening, frustration is my predominant emotion. Annoyingly enough, it seems to be my predominant emotion most of the time right now. I do eight laps, but this time I'm not celebrating. I'm just thinking about when I can hit ten.

The next morning at breakfast, I'm sitting with Eldith, eating in silence, when Henrik comes over. "We're having a big swimming race today," he says. Awkwardness crosses his face for a moment. "Alice was one of our best."

Alice died in the Frost Giant attack. "I'm sorry," I say.

"I didn't know her well, but…" He shrugs. "Look, we're a swimmer down. We could really do with your help."

His handsome, hopeful smile pulls at me. I'd love to be involved. It would be a chance to make some friends here, which, with Orgid's growing group of arseholes, could be valuable.

"You can swim?" Eldith asks me, a faint note of surprise in her voice.

"Yes," I say. "I swim well."

"Well, fat is buoyant," Henrik says, and then flushes red. "I don't mean— I just mean— You know, muscle, it's heavy! A lot of the males here, they sink."

"It's okay, Henrik. I'm well aware that I've got more fat on me than all of you," I say."But I can't help you. I'll drown if I pass out."

The last time was last night, just before bed, but that doesn't mean I won't pass out again today.

"Eldith and I will watch you. One of us will get you if you sink. I swear it. It's a relay race, and there's always people on the side watching. Besides, it's a team race—any of them would want to help you if they can," he says earnestly.

"I assume Inga and Orgid are on the other team?" I ask.

"Yeah." The desire to beat them strengthens his already compelling encouragement.

"You swear one of you will catch me if I pass out? You won't let me drown?" I say, looking between them.

Henrik holds up a hand. "I swear."

I look at Eldith.

"Absolutely. If you can make the difference, we need you on the team," she says.

"All right. I'll do it."