10. Maddy

Chapter 10

Maddy

I manage to wait until he's completely out of view before closing my eyes and letting out a long groan.

Odin's arse, he's like a poison to the brain. I can't think properly when he's near me.

My arm is still dripping water onto the stone floor, and I wrench my focus from Kain to what just happened.

I've never managed to freeze my own skin before, ever.It is by far and away the most I've ever achieved with ice magic.

Is Kain right—did the arrival of my bear val-tivar mean I'm going to be able to access my fae magic? Maybe, all these years, the problem wasn't the magic but the fact that I couldn't use a staff to access it?

The thought is beyond exciting, thrills mixing with the butterflies left by Kain as I move around the forge, putting everything away. I'm too excited, too restless now, to finish the shield. I check the burn, and although the skin is puckered and red, it's not blistered. The ice arrived in time.

Frustratingly, my biggest impulse is to tell my sister.I can picture Freydis' face on seeing me actually use ice magic, after so many years of coaching me, trying to help me be a normal ice-fae. She will be thrilled for me, I'm sure of it.

Making my mind up, I rush out of the forge and head to Sarra's workshop. I only tried the mirror the day before, but this has to be worth trying again. Nobody in the world will be as excited about me actually using magic as my sister.

The workshop is empty, and I dive under the pillow I keep on the furs in front of the fireplace and grab the mirror.

"Come on, Freydis. Please. This time, please," I mutter as I cradle it in my hands.

For a second, I swear I feel something. A tingle, and the glass shimmers the tiniest bit. But then it falls cold and still.

"Freydis?" I whisper. Tears sting my eyes. "Freydis, I'm sorry. I don't think you can hear me, but I'm sorry."

One solitary hot tear escapes, tracking down my cheek. I watch it in the mirror, heavy resignation filling my heart.

I want her to know everything. I want her to know about the bear, about the magic, about Kain, about the whirlwind I've been through in the last few weeks. I need her opinion. I need to hear her calm and steady voice, her wise counsel.

I miss her.

But I can't try the mirror again. I can't. It's too much. It's too painful.

If I were the one sitting in my rooms in the palace, and she was the one here, I would never put the mirror down. I would be hanging on to it at all hours, waiting to hear if she was okay, and how she was getting on.

Does she even know if I'm alive? Does she care?

A lump forms in my throat, and I shove the mirror under the pillow and screw my face up in determination.

I will see Freydis again. I will find out if she hates me for taking her place here—and if she can possibly hate me more than she used to love me.

"Maddy?"

I turn at Sarra's voice. "Oh, hi."

"What's wrong?"

"I… I can't reach my sister. And I wanted to tell her I just used ice magic."

"That's fantastic!" Sarra sets her pile of books down and comes toward me, and I stand.

"I froze my arm after I accidentally burned it."

Excitement lights her eyes. "Do you think you can control it?" she asks.

"I don't know."

"Have you tried since the forge?"

I drop my gaze. "No. I just wanted to speak to my sister," I admit.

"Oh, Maddy." Sarra gives me a hug, and I feel a bit better. "I miss my family too. I'm sure she loves you, and I'm sure there's a very good reason she's not opening her mirror. Did you ever even test them before you came here?"

I open my mouth and then close it again. We never tried them at all. What if they've never worked? A bolt of hope runs through me.

"No, we didn't test them."

"Give me the mirror. I'll study it," Sarra says. I hesitate, because it feels like something I should keep private, but I trust her. And she's a rune-marked, which means she can sense magic in inanimate objects. Who better to find out if the mirror can work or not?

I give it to her, and she sets it on the countertop with her other paraphernalia. "I need to work on Aldrich's staff today," she says. "So why don't you work on your magic? The shield's nearly finished. And everything you need to do with it now has to be in the forge anyway," she says.

Inod. "How do you think I practice?"

She snorts at me. "I'm human. You can't ask me how to do magic."

I think back to the frustrating classes I had as a child and then realize that I need to go to the gallery.

I watch a series of my sister's trainings, which are more complete than mine and the instructor is far more patient, and I'm sure I can use the same principles. Most of the instructions in how to use magic are to concentrate, feel the elements, draw them to you through a staff, and then find your innate thread of power within.

"Okay. Here goes," I say, standing in front of the fireplace and taking a deep breath. I concentrate, Ithink about ice and water, and Ifeel for my thread of power.

Nothing happens.

There is no "innate thread" or "icy flow through my veins," or anything else the instructor said.

Frustrated, I think about what might have triggered it in the forge. Self-preservation. I burned myself.

I glance at the fire. Am I really desperate enough to put my hand in it and find out if that's how I do it?

I'm considering it, but I need my hands. There's only just over a week until Sigrun comes and we have to take part in the strength display. If my hands are injured I won't be able to fire a bow or hold my shield.

No, I can't risk my hands. That would be stupid.

Wouldn't it?

I force myself to turn away from the fire and let out a long sigh.

Oh, bear, where are you? As soon as I picture the huge white creature in my mind, I feel the exact thing I've been trying to feel for the last half an hour—a frisson of cold whipping through my body.

Holding the bear's huge black eyes in my mind, I raise my hand and will it to freeze over. A small squeak escapes my lips as it instantly does.

Sarra snaps her head around, looks at my hand, and then claps, her face lighting up. "Maddy, that's amazing!" she says.

"Isn't it?" I breathe, staring.

"Can you do anything else?" She puts down the wood fragment she's holding and turns to me. "See if you can put out the fire."

I turn toward the fire and hold the picture of the huge bear in my mind. I picture her standing over the Frost Giant, fierce and strong and enormous, and then I push my hand toward the fire. This time we both scream as shards of ice fly from my palm, absolutely obliterating the embers in the fire. I gape, first at what remains of the fire, and then at Sarra, and she gapes back. "Maddy, everybody's going to believe you now."