8. EIGHT

eight

IS IT YOUR FIRST TIME?

I direct my attention back to the city of Hornwood and my heart withers. Dark smoke shrouds the night sky. In the distance the home of the family collapses followed by the town buildings. One by one, they fall away to heaps of ash.

I couldn’t save them.

A swarm of rage and despair drowns me. I can’t ground myself, not when everything around me is fire.

I grab the rebel’s sword and stand at the edge of the flames. Ice spreads through my chest, like some disease waiting to consume me.

I’ll fucking kill them.

My body shakes with fury. I turn away from the flames, blocking out every thought. I can’t let myself think about it. If I let it in—if I allow myself to feel—the anguish will consume me.

I put one foot in front of the other, walking until I’m not sure how long it’s been and I collapse near a river. As I lie on the cold hard earth, screams echoing inside my skull, I retreat to memories of Cole to stay afloat.

Three summers ago.

The sun starts to creep above the canopy of trees. My gaze floats over to my father’s cross, and I wonder if he would approve of Cole. The river behind my father’s and brother’s crosses rushes with the runoff of melted snow from Dragon’s Back Ridge. A thick layer of heat settles over the forest, and I pull at my collar sticking to my skin. I fan myself with a hand, unable to distinguish whether it’s as hot as I think it is or if my nerves are getting the best of me.

A familiar thud of approaching footsteps catches my attention. As I turn to look over my shoulder toward the sound, the dappled sunlight catches the burnished flame of Cole’s hair. His broad shoulders sway with a silent confidence. I can’t help but admire the way his clothes cling to the curves and angles of his concealed brawn and power. I flick my attention to something else before he catches me staring.

Two birds fly by between us, somersaulting in the air as they dance and disappear off into the trees. As Cole approaches, I cock my head to the side, wondering what he holds in his hands.

He flashes me a smile, presenting me with a bow. “Surprise.”

I gape in utter shock and realization. The string, which was once snapped in half, is whole once more. Even the wood gleams from a fresh polish, free from the gouges that had once scarred the wood.

It’s my mother’s bow.

Gratitude swells within me, and my voice comes out strained through the knot tightening my throat. “I...don’t know what to say. How did you—”

“Don’t worry about how.” His smile warms his eyes.

Repairing it must have cost a significant amount of coin. Guilt surfaces, and as I open my mouth to refuse such a generous gift, he interrupts me.

“We can start practicing today.”

“Today?”

“Today,” he confirms.

I look down at the bow in my hands, suddenly doubting every ambition I’ve had. I always wanted to be an archer like my mother. If I could be half the archer she was, I could give us a better life. But the snapped bow—broken long before I was born—was always a problem. Now freed from that limitation…what if I’m not good enough?

“Do you…not like it?” Cole asks gently, noting my hesitation.

“No, no. It’s not that. I just…” My voice drops to a whisper, “I don’t really know where to start.”

“Is it your first time?”

I nod, and he opens his hands, silently asking for the bow. He demonstrates for me, patiently narrating each step before handing the bow back to me to replicate.

I squeeze my hands around the bow, praying I can keep my grip steady between my sweaty fingers. As I pull the string back and narrow my eyes at a spot across the river, the bow wobbles in my trembling hands.

Cole glides in behind me and corrects my elbow with a soft touch. His arms surround me, his face dangerously close to mine and his body brushing against me. Wrapping his hand over the top of mine, he aims the bow higher. A blush creeps to my cheeks. He clears his throat and steps away. I try not to let my shoulders sag at the sudden departure.

“That looks great! Now all you need is an arrow. Here, let’s have you aim at”— Cole points to a tree stump across the river and hands me an arrow—“that trunk over there.”

Hope bubbles inside me at the size of the target he’s selected. Maybe I can impress him as well as myself. Ignoring my hammering heart and quaking hands, I notch the arrow and pull back the string. After slowing my breath, I narrow my eyes on the trunk and release the string on an exhale.

The first shot goes rogue and sinks several yards in front of the trunk. With Cole’s encouragement, I shoot three more arrows. The first two fire off into the forest behind the stump, but the third lands in the river between two rocks.

Cole pats my shoulder. “Hey, that was a great first try! Most people wouldn’t even be able to clear the river.”

I’m not sure if he’s trying to be nice or if he’s genuinely impressed. Taking his boots off, he rolls up his pant legs, revealing corded calves and a hint of muscular thighs. I clear my throat, diverting my attention and rolling up my own pants.

With my stubborn insistence, we cross the river to fetch the arrows. I block out thoughts of being swept away, thankful for Cole’s steady hand holding mine as he leads us across the river. Rolling up my pants deemed a useless measure, as the water reaches up to my hips.

My foot glides off an underwater rock and I slip backwards. Cole catches me, pulling me into his arms before I can dip completely underwater.

His round eyes meet mine. “Are you okay?”

I nod, biting down my fear at the memory of my brother’s fate in this same river.

“I got you,” Cole whispers, to me and my fears.

We reach the other side, and Cole collects the arrows from the forest while I retrieve the one lodged between the rocks. I tug the arrow several times, but it won’t budge.

“Is it stuck, or broken?” Cole crouches down beside me.

I yank at the arrow once more, and it comes loose. The motion of my effort throws me sideways into Cole, and we tumble backwards onto the riverbank. My elbow jabs straight into Cole’s abs, and his breath saws out. The arrow escapes my grasp, flying off a few feet away from us, and my face lands on Cole’s muscled chest. I lift my head off his chest, my eyes meeting his, and my skin heats with embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” we say simultaneously and laugh awkwardly in unison.

I’m close. Far too close. Full lashes frame his glowing amber eyes, and a dark ring encircles his irises. The pulse in his throat flickers. The brown freckles staining his cheeks remind me of the patterned stars in a night sky, and my attention settles on the soft curve of his lips. Before I’m lost to the temptation, I twist away. But I’m stuck. His arms are wrapped around me, trapping me for a long second before he remembers to let me go. A faint blush blooms on his cheeks as I return to my feet.

I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants then extend a hand to help him up. He takes my hand, lifting to his feet, then retrieves the arrow I left on the ground. Our eyes lock again, and he pauses a step away from me. We’re so close, if I lean into him my head would tuck right under his angled chin, and I would fit perfectly in his strong arms. It’s not the first time I’ve yearned to be there.

He hands me the arrow, and I take it without breaking our eye contact, flinging it behind me. Before I can stop myself, I crash my lips onto his. I underestimate my power, and he stumbles backwards until we find ourselves on the ground again. But this time, we don’t allow any space between us. He kisses me soft and slow, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. My heart flutters at his delicate touch. He wants this too—it’s not all in my head.

Sliding one hand to my neck, he cradles my head. We melt into each other until I finally pull away.

“What was that,” he whispers, his gaze flickering between my eyes and lips.

“Is it your first time?” I echo his comment from earlier.

He laughs. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. But I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“I didn’t think you felt the same,” I murmur.

He twirls a lock of my hair around his finger before tucking it behind my ear. In that same movement, he slides his finger around my ear and down my jaw toward my chin, guiding me into another kiss.

I wish we could stay like this forever.