32. THIRTY TWO

thirty-two

brOTHERS

For once I’m mentally begging for Marge to keep me in the healer’s quadrant with her. She dismisses me for the day, but I don’t know how to ask to stay without drawing suspicion or questions. She insists I attend sparring to keep up my training.

I head to the sparring ring and settle on the opposite side of where Cole sits. His head snaps up, his attention focused on me. I didn’t think it was possible, but the bags under his eyes have worsened. His hair is ruffled as if he’s gone weeks without restful sleep. I rip my gaze away from him, pity rising like bile, and divert my attention to the sparring circle.

Darian is in the center with Archie, instructing several other soldiers in combinations. Rather than ruthlessly hacking at Archie, Darian’s slow in his movements: redirecting Archie to a new position, teaching him how to block and advance. Archie’s eyes sparkle in admiration, while Darian keeps his commands short and gruff.

Archie flashes a smile in my direction. Darian scolds him for losing focus, but follows his line of sight, and his eyes connect with mine. A bead of sweat runs down my neck as he steals a glance down my body and back up.

“Come step in for this pup, since he seems to be too distracted,” Darian calls out to me, jerking his head at Archie.

Archie’s mouth falls into a frown as he tries to argue.

I shake my head. “I think he’s doing just fine.”

“Then come stand in for me,” Darian orders.

Archie nods enthusiastically. With a sigh, I obey, unsheathing my sword as I stride across the clearing.

“If you lose focus like that in a battle, you’ll either die or get an arm cut off,” Darian scolds Archie as I draw near.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” Archie offers with an optimistic smile.

“No. What doesn’t kill me better fucking run,” Darian grumbles.

Archie’s lips thin in confusion. “I…I don’t think that’s how it goes.”

Before Darian can say anything else, I step in between them. Archie and I practice slow spins and turns, strikes and blocks. Darian ghosts a touch against my waist to correct my stance in one position and knocks the tip of his boot between my feet to spread my legs wider. My breath hitches, palms sweating as I focus on Archie’s face. Archie and I return to sparring, and despite white-knuckling the sword’s hilt in my hand, it slips from my grip as I block Archie’s attack.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Darian says neutrally and walks off.

I exchange glances of surprise with the rest of the soldiers in the ring. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one caught off guard from Darian’s sudden decision to train everyone.

I snag my sword from the ground, muttering under my breath, “I still suck at this.”

“Yeah, me too,” Archie admits.

I toss a look into his direction. “You’re not even going to argue?”

Archie blinks. “Oh...well. You don’t suck!”

I laugh at the obvious lie.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine. But you know what? We can suck together. And that’s better than sucking alone.”

I loop an arm around his shoulder, careful not to put too much pressure on him. “How’s your arm?”

“Man, Marge is some sort of magician. It’s definitely sore, but I can still swing it. She just told me to take it easy!”

I raise an eyebrow, motioning to the sparring circle as we walk over to join the rest of the onlookers. “And…this is easy?”

He chuckles nervously, patting my shoulder. His smile fades quickly as his voice drops to a whisper, “Please don’t tell her. She scares me.”

My head tilts back with a hearty laugh.

When we get back to camp, Cole strides straight toward us from across the camp.

“Hey, I’m going to go check on Marge. I’ll catch you at dinner?” I smile at Archie.

He nods, and I break off toward the healer’s quadrant, quickly slipping into the door before Cole can catch up to me.

“I thought I told you you were dismissed for the day?” Marge narrows her eyes in suspicion.

“I just wanted to make sure there was nothing else I could help you with—”

Cole enters the room. “Hey.”

My gaze flickers over to him, my jaw tensing. Damn, wasn’t quite fast enough.

“Did you want to get something to eat with me?” Cole asks me.

I shake my head, avoiding his eye contact. “I’m fine, thanks.”

He tries again, “You should still—”

“I said I’m fine, ” I level, skewering him with a glare.

He flinches. “Okay,” he whispers. His gaze falls to the floor in defeat, before reluctantly turning to leave. The door shuts behind him.

“Brothers can be a little overbearing, can’t they?” Marge asks from behind me.

I laugh half-heartedly, not sure how to answer her. When I think of my brother, he was anything but. He was kind, sweet, strong, and independent. “Yeah…how do you know? Do you have a brother?”

“Two of them. I was the youngest of three. We were all healers aside from my eldest brother. He was in the military.”

I glance at her over my shoulder. “Are you close to them?”

“I was. My eldest brother died in battle against the King years ago.”

“Your brother was a rebel?”

She nods. “He left for the north when we were in our thirties. It nearly broke my other brother’s heart. They were twins—critically connected, as if they were one soul split into two bodies. When my eldest brother died in the battle, my other brother went a little…crazy. He started dabbling in blood magic to try to bring him back. But he lost himself and died trying.”

“I know how it feels to lose a sibling. I’m so sorry to hear that, Marge.”

A sad smile warms her eyes. “Sometimes love is our greatest strength. And sometimes it’s our greatest weakness. It all just depends on how you wield it.”

We stand there, letting the words soak into the silence of the moment.

She retrieves a glass of water and hands it to me. “Stress, grief, and shock will ruin your appetite. Take a few bites here and there to revive it. I still need your help around here. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Otherwise, Cole might go a little crazy himself trying to mend you. ”

I smile and nod before I take a sip.

She rests her hands on her hips, watching me. “Now…you came back wanting to know if there was anything else you could help me with? We could always use more ginger. See if you can find any in the forest.”

As I leave the healer’s quadrant and pass the camp’s crumbling wall, a movement catches my attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Darian’s cat-like stalk from across the camp. His gaze is as intimate as a caress against my skin. I pick up my pace, and he matches it. We reach the trees, and he’s hot on my heels, close enough I could throw this basket at him. Or an elbow. I’m starting to consider both.

“Ahh, so we’ve gotten to the ignoring part?” Darian’s voice is as soft as velvet.

“Are you expecting some sort of thanks for finally training the soldiers you were sent here to train?” I call from over my shoulder. “Because you won’t get one from me.”

He snickers behind me, wraps a hand over my shoulder, and spins me to face him. “One night with you was more than enough of a thanks.”

I sneer. “You’re infuriating. Is there a reason you can’t leave me alone?”

A grin pulls at the corner of his lips, as if he had been waiting all along for the question. “Because I know you—”

“You know nothing about me—”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I know exactly who you are.” He tilts my chin up to face him. “Because you’re just…like…me.”

I swat his hand off my face. “I’ll never be like you.”

He laughs. “Except, you are. You’re angry. You believe you’re better than me only because you think you can hide it better. But I see it.”

I turn and walk away, not interested in carrying the conversation further.

Yet, his voice still rings out as he follows me. “The only difference between you and I, is I don’t give a fuck.”

I ignore him, crouching down near a bunch of wild chamomile by a tree trunk. Pulling my skirt up to access the sheath on the side of my thigh, his gaze grazes up my leg.

He shields his eyes with the back of his hand with an exaggerated gasp. “Have you no modesty?”

I glare at him. As if he hadn’t seen every bare piece of my skin and every vulnerable angle of me days ago. I shear the stalks of the flowers and place them into my basket.

“Daeja, I’ve got someone following me in the forest. Stay hidden, and don’t come out.”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite hear that. Can you say it again?” Darian chuffs.

I whip to him, flabbergasted. Did he somehow read my mind? “How did you—”

“How did I manage to get so devilishly handsome? I ask myself that every day. Or…were you going to ask about my wicked intellect?” He leans back against the tree trunk and crosses his arms over his chest. “I could also divulge how I’ve mastered cunnilingus—”

“You are terribly annoying,” I blurt.

He cocks his head to the side, his hair sweeping down across his temple. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

He laughs. The sound shakes in his arms and chest. If he wasn’t so damn annoying it might be an endearing sight, the way it warms his angled and sharp features.

“Now go away—” I start, but I pause as the sunlight catches a patch of grass a few yards away. Sunlight illuminates lavender flowers sprouting from the ground, their long green stalks gently swaying in the breeze.

He follows me over to the flowers, watching me with fascination. Intrigue pulls one of his eyebrows up in an arch at the awe warming my cheeks. I slice into the stalks of the flowers, freeing them from the ground and inhaling their familiar scent. Forcing any thought of Cole out of my mind, I’m brought back to the memories of the river in the northern forest, of my home, and of my family.

“What are those?” Darian interrupts.

I sheathe the dagger on my side. “What’s it going to take for you to go back to camp?”

“Tell me what those are. Some rare medicinal flower?”

“No, they’re alliums. I used to pick them in the forest near my home…” I trail off as I stare at the splendid raves of purple flowers, brushing a petal with my thumb.

Darian’s cunning, if anything. I don’t have to explain that the flowers remind me of a home I once knew.

My mother used to tell me smell was the strongest sense tied to memories. My eyes flutter closed, the scent of the alliums bringing me back to her. To the days where my biggest worry was catching fish—not delivering a forbidden dragon to the Dragon Lands, while avoiding being caught and condemned by the King and his people. And definitely not sleeping with a man I barely knew because I told myself I was protecting Daeja, when in part it was because I was pissed at Cole. And the other parts are confused by how exhilarating my night with Darian was? Maybe even enjoyed it?

No.

I wasn’t quite ready to consider that.

I flash my eyes open and turn to look at Darian. But he’s gone. I catch a glimpse of him over my shoulder, his silhouette disappearing into the trees beyond back to the outpost.

At least he’s a man of his word.

At sparring the next day, Carlisle hands Cole a scroll, prompting him to open it immediately. Cole skim reads the paper, his eyes widening and flicking up to me as he mutters some command to Carlisle.

I turn my focus back on practicing combination moves against Melaina. I keep faltering in the transitions or forgetting to block in between. Unlike Archie, Melaina doesn’t hold back. In a real battle, I would have already died at least five times.

“Good afternoon, squad!” a strong female voice rings out across the clearing.

All of us pause mid-spar and turn to the voice. A woman glides to the edge of the sparring circle, her dark glossy hair shining in long waves down to the bottom of her ribcage. A long, sweeping dress hugs her torso, falling at her waist in a cascade of rich blue fabric. A cluster of white pearls pin back sweeps of her hair, flaunting her high angled cheekbones. She’s gorgeous. And it’s obvious I’m not the only one who notices—everyone turns toward her with greeting smiles and wide eyes.

Cole breaks from the other side of the crowd and crosses the center of the sparring ring past me to her. My heart sinks at the way she beams at him, batting dark, thick lashes.

“Hello, captain,” she murmurs softly—considerably different than she addressed the squad. The two words alone are sensual and intimate.

Cole dips his head low in greeting. “Hello, Celeste. My apologies we hadn’t formed a proper welcome for your arrival. It seems we received your letter only moments ago.”

She smiles. “Proper welcome not needed. I’m just happy to see you.”

Cole breaks eye contact with her and addresses the squad. “Sparring is concluded. Let’s all get lunch and refreshments.”

Everyone around me scatters and floats over to Celeste’s vicinity like moths to a flame.

She must be Cole’s fiancée. And if not, we may have even more problems than I’m aware of, based on her unabashed admiration for him. My heart splinters at the thought of him with her, after I spent so many years yearning to be the one with his last name. And now, the closest I can get to that is pretending to be his sister.

I slip away from them, moving against the crowd.

“Kat!” Archie calls, standing with Cole and Celeste, ushering me over with an enthusiastic hand gesture.

Dammit. If only I could melt into the ground right here. I might be able to avoid Cole, but Archie I cannot. I swallow hard, struggling to mask my resentment as I drag myself over to where Archie is.

Archie closes the gap between us, looping an arm around my neck, and pulling me into his side. “Celeste said she wanted to meet you!”

Celeste’s eyes sparkle as she gawks at Cole when we approach. My stomach tumbles hard enough I might puke. Celeste finally drags her attention away from Cole to me, her eyes crinkling at the corners as her smile drags her cheeks upwards. The deep blue of her eyes are dazzling.

“Ahh, Katerina! I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’m Celeste, Cole’s fiancée.”

I can’t miss the obnoxiously cheerful emphasis on ‘fiancée.’ She holds out an open hand to me.

I panic, trying to casually wipe the sweat off my hand onto my sides before I meet her handshake. “Hi, nice to meet you too, Celeste.”

We break our handshake, and I notice the subtle wipe of her hand on the side of her dress.

“And a very big congratulations to the two of you. I wish the both of you nothing but happiness.” I dare a side glance at Cole.

His hands twitch, but his features are schooled into indifference.

“I’ve got to report back to the healer’s quadrant. It was nice meeting you, Celeste,” I excuse myself.

“Oh, of course! So lovely to meet you as well. I would love to talk to you about our plans at dinner,” Celeste says.

I bite my tongue not to say anything else. With a nod, I bow my head before I disappear off back into camp.

I don’t give a fuck about their plans.