10. TEN

ten

TEA PARTIES AND DRUNKS

9 months ago.

Trees unfurl with bursts of green, the whisper of spring amongst the leaves. The morning sun melts away the chill of winter, and rich purple alliums flower the gnarled roots of trees.

Heavy footsteps pull me out of my admiration, and Cole’s figure glides through the distant tree line. I slink behind a tree trunk and lie in wait.

The footsteps stop, and I peek around the tree. Cole crouches over the alliums and picks several of the flowers from a thick cluster. He scans the forest, his amber eyes sweeping closer toward me, and I dart back behind the trunk. Silence falls, and after a few heartbeats, I dare one more peek.

Fingers wrap around my shoulder and spin me. My back hits the tree, now behind me.

Cole’s face dips into my vision, his fingers threading into mine and pinning my hand above my head. He trails kisses up my neck to my jaw as I giggle.

I push my fingertips into his chest. “You’re late.”

He hands me the flowers. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. Arabella really wanted to play tea party.”

I look down at his clothes in disappointment. “I would have rather you’d worn the dress.”

He laughs and pulls me into a hug. We sway back and forth in each other’s arms, his chin resting on the top of my head. He pulls back from me, a soft smile on his lips.

“I’ve missed you.” He twirls a piece of my hair around his finger, and tucks it behind my ear.

A signature Cole move I dream of, even when we are apart.

“I’ve missed you.” I mirror. “And I’ve been thinking…”

He stops swaying. “Yes?”

I fidget with the chained ring around my neck. His mother’s ring. His proposal from a week ago fresh on my mind.

“What if we go somewhere else?” I whisper.

Cole tilts his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“What if we went to Stoneshire? We could move there, start a new life. I could learn a new trade. Maybe practice archery. I could get good enough to hunt, or try to get into the military. It could be a good life. A better life.”

He brushes my cheek with a thumb. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

“Then let’s go. Tomorrow.”

He drops his hand from my face. “I…I can’t leave my family. And what about your mother? You can’t leave her.”

“She would come with us.”

“But my sisters couldn’t?”

Words spill out of my mouth in desperation. “Well…they have your father. And Vivian will be eighteen? Willard spoke to me of a possible cure for my mother. There’s been accounts of people cured of lameness and disease in Stoneshire by a blue flame. He said sometimes there’s seasonal shifts in—”

“Willard isn’t the most dependable source of information. You know that,” he murmurs.

“It’s a risk I have to take. And if it’s seasonal I can’t wait, I have to go.”

“Kat, listen to yourself. You’re going to travel across the entire kingdom, with your sick mother, for a rumor that Willard shared with you. The same one who kept his pet goat’s teeth to try and bring it back to life? He’s a drunk. A nice person…but a drunk.”

The soft way his gaze settles on me is enough to crumble every wall of defense I have.

But I can’t give in. Not now.

“I have to do this, I have to try. We could always come back.” I offer.

“I’m all they have, it’ll crush them—”

“—they have your father.” I counter.

“He isn’t around, Kat.” An anger creeps into his voice.

My own frustration and desperation bubbles to the surface. “How are we to be together then, Cole? What happens if I get there, and I can’t come back?”

“Then don’t go—stay. Stay with me.” He squeezes my hands in his. “I need more time. I’ll figure out a way we can be together, and we can go to whatever town you want. Wherever.”

This conversation isn’t going how I planned, or hoped. My stomach twists into knots at the thought of traveling with my mother on my own to the eastern part of the kingdom. Not to mention how much I will miss Cole. How much I don’t want to leave him.

But I can’t sacrifice finding a cure for my mother. Not when it may be my only chance to help her. And not when the last time I didn’t act, someone I loved died.

I search his golden eyes. “I don’t have time. Willard said it’s a fickle thing, and nobody knows how long it will last.”

“Then how do you know it will still be there by the time you get to Stoneshire?”

“I don’t. But I can’t sit here, waiting and wondering. I have to try—just come with me, please.”

A muscle in Cole’s jaw flickers before he shakes his head. “Arabella and Rosetta won’t understand, they’re too young.”

“I was only a little older than Arabella when my brother died. And Rosetta is much older than I was. They’ll understand.”

“Kat, you can’t even talk about him. You can’t even say his name. I’m not going to do that to them.”

“I turned out fine.”

“Fine? I know you’re desperate to fix this. You were forced into a situation that should’ve never happened. I can’t do the same to them.”

I slip my hands from his grasp. My heart sinks, part of me wanting to give in and stay here with him. But I can’t let that part of me win.

Cole’s voice drops into a plea. “Don’t do this, please. This isn’t fair, Kat. You’re trapping me.”

“Trapping?”

If anything, I was trapped. If I stay here with him, I lose the only opportunity to save my mother. I may live the rest of my life in regret for not taking the chance. Even if it means going by myself. If my brother were still alive, he wouldn’t hesitate.

I stare at the ground as I unhook my necklace with shaky hands. “Then if you feel so trapped, I’ll make it easy for you.”

I place the necklace in his palm and turn away from him. Doubt creeps in, stalking me like a predator ready to pounce. Before Cole changes my mind, and before I stop myself…I run.

Through the forest and farther away from Cole, trees are a blur of color in my peripheral vision.

He calls my name, and when I don’t slow, his footsteps race after me. I approach the tree line, trees giving way to rolling hills stretched off into the distance. Cole catches my forearm and spins me toward him. His anguished expression floods me in guilt.

But it’s better this way. I must get my mother to Stoneshire, with or without him.

“Kat, please, I love you. Can we please talk about this? I didn’t mean it like that—”

I pull my arm out of his grasp. The unspoken meaning behind it pains me as much as it does him. I block out my emotions—this is the only way. If anyone has the power to convince me not to go, it’s him. And if I stay here a second longer, he’ll do it.

I avoid his eye contact. “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me again. Leave me alone.”

Without another word, I race back home. Footsteps don’t follow me, and my name isn’t called out on the wind. He respects my request.

Part of me wishes he didn’t.