Chapter 4

Time was supposed to heal all wounds . . . I'd never heard something so laid with falsehoods. Time was nothing but a crutch people used to try to erase the wounds of the past. They let go of the damage done in an attempt to forget. But I could not forget—I would not. I stood on the balcony of Dacio's castle. It overlooked the slate lands and even farther beyond that. Once, it'd been beautiful here, with greenery as far as the eye could see. Now, it was desolate, with jagged rocks and dust expanding out toward the horizon. There were other clans within the demon kingdom, clans that I could easily blend into. And yet here was where I stayed in an attempt to make a life for myself. Years ago, there'd been an explosion of massive power. It was so massive that I'd lost the old life I knew and cherished and it'd been replaced by this new existence. Time would offer me no comfort, nor would it help me find forgiveness . . . time only added fuel to my fire.

"Lord Avalon." One of the soldiers from Dacio's arm marched to my side.

"What is it?"

"The patrol has not yet returned." He stood straight with his shoulders back and his chin lifted.

I sighed but didn't take my eyes off the land. She was out there somewhere . . . fighting for survival the way I had for so many years. It brought me a tinge of pleasure. "Send out two others to find them and drag them back from whatever brothel they've lost themselves in."

"Yes, my lord." He turned from me, and his heavy footfalls marched from my perch and down the hall.

A cool breeze blew across my skin. In the past, it would've chilled me, but now my own internal flames burned eternally. I opened my hand and flames danced in my palm. Slowly they took the shape of her . . . Lily. I made the flames twist and move as though she danced in the palm of my hand. I'd had her at one time, and then she was nothing more back then and nothing that ever could be now.

My mind drifted back to a time when I was . . . more. I'd spent much of my time ferrying tradable goods between the vampire courts. I traveled constantly, ensuring all of the courts had what they needed. I'd been young, ambitious, and found enjoyment where it was meant to be had. The memories assailed me as though they were yesterday and not a little over fifty years ago.

I roamed down the streets, enjoying the lively sights and senses of the vampire world. The smell of nectar lingered in the air, and everything buzzed with activity. I glanced up toward the open balconies and windows. Bright-purple shutters lined the building, and yet my eyes were only drawn toward one thing . . . her. She sat in the window, perched there gazing out over the streets with a faraway look of broken dreams and sadness in her eyes. I couldn't say why but the sadness called me to her like a beacon in the night.

I found myself walking through the doors and drifting toward the stairs. The lobby was spacious and wide open, with prostitutes lounging about on plush furniture.Linen curtains hung over the windows and billowed with each breeze. Vampires walked about, admiring what all the prostitutes had to offer. But my eyes were not for them, they were for the beauty I'd seen sitting in the window. There were stairs off to the side, and I headed straight toward them, just wanting a single moment with her. I began walking up when a meaty hand wrapped around my bicep, stopping me from going any farther.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I glanced down at his hand, then back up at the aging vampire. His age showed in the gray streaks in his hair and wrinkles that fanned out around his eyes. Sweat beaded on his skin and stained his linen shirt. He had a thick cuff on each of his wrists.

"Unhand me." I tugged my arm free and straightened my coat.

"Coin first." The man held his other hand out. "Then you can go up."

"Let him be." A woman with long red hair piled up in curls on her head sauntered out from behind a curtain. A tight black corset seemed almost painted on and a loose, nearly see through skirt wrapped around her hips. She had a shrewd look in her eyes as she appraised me.

"No coin, no upstairs." He growled out at her. His overly wide jaw jutted out as he spoke.

"Have you no idea who he is?" She elbowed him. "Forgive him, my lord. He knows not what he does."

"There is no offense. I just wish to pass for a moment."

She glanced down pointedly to my groin. "Hopefully longer than a moment, my lord."

"Lord?" The man's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

She leaned in and whispered, "He is Lord of Shadows. Any goods or nectar comes through him. Isn't that right, my lord?"

I nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I saw a lady too fair to go unnoticed."

"Ah yes, the treasured Lily. You'll find her three doors down on the right." They both stepped back, allowing me to head straight up the stairs. The sounds of physical pleasure echoed through the doors as I passed each one. I marched down the hallway to the third door and paused, debating if I should just walk in or knock. I held my hand up and knocked three quick raps on the door.

Her sweet voice drifted out to me. "Come in."

My hand shook as I reached for the doorknob and pushed it open. When I strolled into the room, it was exactly as I expected: small with a large bed in the middle of it. The linens were laid flat and crispy, and she sat on a small chair near the window. A breeze ruffled her long blonde hair. A wig, no doubt, as blonde was not a color I'd seen on any vampire before. When she gazed at me with those bright sapphire eyes, I nearly lost my breath. Yet she seemed so unimpressed, almost resigned.

"Close the door please, sir."

I hadn't realized I'd stood there staring at her. "Of course."

I let the door fall shut behind me with a light click. She rose to her feet and stood before me. She looked like a sad angel. Though she'd enhanced her delicate features with makeup, I could still see the dark smudges under her eyes, and she was thin. Too thin. She wore a long silky dress that hugged all her curves and a robe that hung low on her shoulders and nearly slouched to her elbows. She forced a light smile to her lips.

"What's your pleasure?"

"You." The word burst through my lips before I could think.

She snickered and motioned to a small table beside her where a golden bowl sat with coins in the bottom of it. "A donation then and we shall see what pleasures await you."

It was smart, a way to ensure payment before services. "What's your name?"

"What will you have it be?" she teased, and I found myself smiling.

"I'll have whatever you're called."

She glanced away. "They call me Lily."

"A suitable name for a delicate flower such as yourself."

She drifted over to the bed, leaving her coin bowl visible. I took the hint and reached into my satchel and dumped the contents into the bowl. Her eyebrows rose at the amount. "And what is it that you'd prefer?"

"Your time." It was the only answer I could give this delicate thing. I'd never seen a maid so lovely as she.

"You've got it." She leaned back on the bed and let her dress slide down her legs and pool at her hips, barely covering the treasure between her legs.

"I will speak with you." I moved to the side of the bed and dropped to my knees and leaned my elbows on the bed.

"Speak? To me? Why?" Her brow furrowed with confusion.

"Indeed. I will speak with you." I motioned to the barren room. "What brought you to this life?"

I wanted to ask how someone so lovely could find herself in such a place. Who would trap her here? Why would she stay when she was blessed with such beauty? Instead, I went for a lighter approach.

"We all have our lives to live . . . and responsibilities." Her answer said so much yet so little at the same time.

"I would take you from here." She didn't belong here in this life. She belonged in a home with a garden to wander through in the night with the moon shining down on her. I could almost picture the moon shining down on her pale skin and the way it'd illuminate her sapphire eyes. I found myself curious to know what her real hair color would look like. Though the pale blonde suited her.

"Oh." She leaned back into the pillows with a wistful smile. "Are you going to whisk me off and marry me someday?"

"You've seen I have the means." I motioned to the coins.

She nodded. "A man of means could do more than a common whore."

Her words almost repelled me. "A hundred lifetimes can be lived in but a moment . . . tomorrow you could be someone else, somewhere else."

"And what of promises of love?" She tilted her head to the side, watching me closely.

"Ah, my sweet Lily . . . I would show you the love of ages."

The love of ages I'd promised and given. Bitterness drew me from my memories. I ground my teeth together and felt my flames dance over my skin.

"My lord!" A guard rushed back toward the balcony. "You must come."

I drew in a weary breath, trying to rid myself of the memories of a life that'd ended fifty years ago because of her. A life I had loved and lost along with the one I'd been foolish enough to also love and lose. "What's happened?"

"The missing patrol has been found." His eyes were round with shock.

"And?"

"And . . ." he swallowed, ". . . they're dead."