Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Leather and letters

Tiaras and tangles

I confessed to Valetise, “I am in knots, and this vexes me as I believed myself done with very messy tangles.”

I was yet to move from my bed, though dusk was near.

Valetise bustled around in the wardrobe. “Perhaps speaking of the knot might unravel it a way, my queen.”

I exhaled, thinking about the word King See had pinched across my behind yesterday evening.

King Raise wanted me for eternal servitude. King Change could send his humans against me at any moment. But I couldn’t fathom these threats through the sudden and shocking changes in romance with King See. “I am unsettled by the change in him. My rise to queendom has apparently erased our alignment and agreement, and See admits he flounders and spins. He states that I am his obsession and that his ambition is to claim me. If he had not jotted upon my body and displayed me, then I would not truly believe it, though he warned me. I cannot help but wish that he was still the same and that we could figure out the matter of romance in queendom together.”

“Perhaps only a queen might figure this out,” she answered.

Perhaps so. Yet he was a king, so why could a king not figure it out while a queen avoided eternal servitude and war?

“There was a danger to him last dusk that enticed,” I admitted, staring at the ceiling. “Part of me wished to be burned by the hot stove, so to speak. I hoped that we would find agreement, too, but pleasure will not provide us with this. I am saddened that I might not depend on him in queendom as I had assumed.”

“You might depend on me, my queen.” Valetise appeared to curtsy.

A lump rose in my throat. “Thank you, dear Valetise. Your words help to reinforce the fragile feel in me. I do so wish that I remained aligned with King See, you see, or that intimacy could remain open to us in some form. I feel fragile indeed and face the world with less support than yesternight.”

Valetise had draped a dress of matte, gray leather over her arm below the needles spiking out of her upper forearm. As fragile as matters felt, the toughness of my attire for the night sat well with me.

“My queen,” she said. “These thoughts are very ancient. I can only think that there must be an answer and that this will become clear with time and reflection. I am not much help in queenly matters, but my ears are always ready to be filled with your tangles.”

I smiled up at her, feeling the torsion. “I fear that because this is a tangle all tangled up in other tangles, then you are right about time and reflection. Weeks and months have a way of revealing answers, however. I must get comfortable with discomfort of ignorance and uncertainty until a path is revealed.”

“You are capable in heart and mind,” Valetise replied. “Now, I imagine that a queen cannot avoid the night, queen as she is.”

I sighed. “There is much to do.”

I flung off the quilt, and after, Valetise displayed considerable strength inserting me into the tight, sleeve-like leather dress. A lucky thing that I could somewhat glide because the garment didn’t allow for movement of my legs.

A knock sounded at the door.

Valetise cracked the door open and accepted a letter from Is.

I turned the letter over, sighing at the seal of King See. “He writes. What fresh turmoil does he offer?”

I opened the letter.

Perantiqua,

A new queen must learn to war.

In this, I hope, we might find agreement if alignment must elude us for a time.

A transactional arrangement could carry us through spinning confusions.

With Sight,

King See

I reread the letter more than once. “And what does he mean by this?

I had not thought of learning war with so much else to occupy my mind, but sense filled me at his simple statement. “Does he seek to teach me then? For what price?”

There must be others who could teach me warfare, so the assumption that he would be my teacher was arrogant to say the least.

Transactional agreement…

He proposed agreement to carry us through spinning confusions with the future hope of restoring our alignment. I wished for this too.

“Where might I write a letter, Valetise?” I asked, slightly breathless from the confines of the gray leather.

She gestured to a blank section of wall. “There, my queen.”

The wall pushed out a carved writing desk, equipped with thick paper, an ink pot and quill, and a wax set. The candle I’d need to melt the wax already burned bright. The bottom of the wax seal faced me and I could see the ornate QP engra ved there. QP. Queen Perantiqua. Now every king would know whose letter he received. “How did you sense it there?”

“Without this queendom, I do not exist, and so I sense everything here that is needed to best serve you and help you thrive. In this way, I survive. My strict purpose is to dress you as befits unworldly exquisiteness, for that is what you are. No one shall ever doubt this while I attend you because I shall arm you with the way I dress you… and protect your heart on any given night.”

Like tonight.

I’d envied her clarity of purpose before, and I did so again, but envy was a vice I could manage in this quantity. “I thank you for your purpose. I could not do these things myself.”

“Nor could any queen or king or princess.”

I considered the wall that had been bare and was now a writing corner equipped with everything I might need. “What else do you know of my queendom?”

“I know that your mother will supply all your homely needs from her deathbed, as only a mother could have this purpose. I might sense what is here, but she is the power that provides for her daughter.”

Leather protested as I sat at the writing desk. I hadn’t been sure I could. “I miss my mother.”

“I know, my queen,” Valetise said. “You murmur to her in daylight.”

“Would that she might answer. I miss our talks most of all.”

“She answers you. Each time you dream of her, she adds more warmth to the room. Another pillow or blanket or rug.”

I peered around the room anew. “Goodness, I didn’t know.”

“Your mother loves you even in death.”

A lump visited my throat again. Tonight I felt fragile indeed.

Valetise returned to her wardrobe, and I took up a sheet of paper, wondering over the smoothness and thickness before I placed it on the desk.

First things first.

See, I wrote.

Do you offer to tutor me in war?

I gather that writing your name on my body and displaying me to a king was your first lesson.

Please expand your ideas of transaction.

Queen Perantiqua

I rolled and sealed the letter, then walked outside.

“Princes of See,” I called down to the courtyard.

Was anyone here tonight? They didn’t always stay, and I didn’t know what determined their accommodation choices.

Has Been, Is, and Will Be stepped out in varying states of sleepiness, though their true form had appeared. I wasn’t the only one to sleep in tonight.

“I have a reply for your liege. Kindly deliver it,” I ordered the chalky monsters.

Is brightened, and the eyes either side of his head glimmered too. “Your purpose, lady queen?”

I let him see my full displeasure.

He schooled his features and bowed. “We will see your reply delivered.”

I tossed the letter to Is, but it was Will Be who caught the scroll in his large hand, a definite excited glint in the eye that occupied the middle of his forehead. “If anything Will Be, then I shall see to it.”

The future was more his thing, I agreed.

The three towering princes lumbered out of the wall of bars, and I watched until their oversized joints and extra eyes were out of sight.

“Pawns. Who else slumbers here this evening?” I called.

Six pawns slimed and stumbled into the courtyard in varying states of sleepiness—none of Raise’s princes were present. What should I take from that?

I ran my eyes over blob and deadly wrinkle of Take’s princes. The thing was, See and I were out of alignment, but he’d informed me that Change gathered his fifth against me. My instruction of war could not wait, and I was unsure if I could depend on a king who felt different this week than last. “I require instruction in the art of warfare. Who amongst you is most skilled in this?”

Six blank stares met my question.

I asked again, slower. They could not be properly awake. “Who amongst you is most skilled in warfare?”

Faithful Toil rumbled his laughter before replying, “My queen? Warfare is a skill of kings. And queens! Pardon me. I never seek to exclude the fairer sex.”

For once, all six appeared in agreement. I’d pause to appreciate this, though I didn’t much appreciate Toil’s laughing reply.

“You have engaged in war, have you not?” I asked.

“Of course,” Gangrel said while buttoning his ruffled, lace cuff.

“Then how do princes not fathom the ins and outs of battle? The rhythms and reasonings of war.”

“Exactly that, my queen,” Sigil blurted. “We are the drums that kings beat upon in war’s rhythm, and through our mouths are their reasonings conveyed. We are but the sounds for their thoughts, not the thoughts themselves.”

Bother, that did make perfect sense.

The six fidgeted, hovering as I gazed upon them. If princely pawns could not explain war to me, and a king would not, then how was a queen to learn?

“None of you will repeat this conversation to another monster.” I pulsed my will into them.

They dropped to their knees, and though I hoped the drop didn’t scrape at them, there was nothing for it—a queen had to be a queen.

Even a queen could long for a time when princes were just her friends.

The wall of bars creaked open to admit Has Been. He crossed the courtyard and leaped up to join me.

My eyes narrowed at the letter in his hand bearing the seal of See. Why did See send this prince specifically? Will Be implied a future. Has Been implied the opposite.

I took the letter and Has Been hovered as I pried it open.

Dearest Perantiqua,

The memory of you riding my power torments me and will forevermore, and this is the nature of payment you must offer for my tutorage in war.

I concede that my claiming ambition last evening was unexpected, and so I offer two lessons in warfare in exchange for your wonderful and unforgettable show.

My tutorage is expert and therefore costly.

With Sight,

See

He surely jested. He surely quipped. I scrunched the letter in a furious fist. Two lessons.

I barked an order, “Await my reply.”

Has Been reeled backward. “Y-yes, my queen. Lady. Lady Queen!”

I ignored the creaking of my dress as I sat at the desk and grabbed a sheet of paper with less care than the first time.

Only then did I realize that my first response had been to feel angry over how few lessons he offered in retribution. Perhaps the notion of paying him with my body warranted further thought.

I leaned back on the seat. “Goodness, this would make our relationship transactional indeed.” Impersonal. Clear. Transactional.

Warm intimacies had not granted us agreement. I was a queen with needs and a queen who would chase the mindlessness of his pleasure. The idea of no intimacy between us upset me greatly. I did not wish to receive this from anyone else.

And apparently, only a king might teach me war, and no other king was forthcoming. I could expect if they did offer tutorage that their suggested payment would not stir me as See’s transactional offer did.

I wished to find agreement with See. I needed to know of war. I desired him.

I picked up the quill.

See,

Expert your tutorage may be, and yet you make light of my shock and sadness that you are a different king since I became queen.

Four lessons in good will is what I shall accept.

As for your suggested method of payment, this suits our current cold standing with each other. I wish only to clarify that while I will pay for your tutorage with my body, you will need to pay for my tutorage with yours.

I will expect my first lesson in war by the week’s end.

Perantiqua

P.S. Send Has Been to deliver a letter to me again, and I will develop a rage.

I rolled and sealed the letter, then stormed out as much as I could in a gray leather dress. “Take him this. Kindly.”

Has Been bowed. “There is great tension. It crackles.”

“Things are different now I am queen,” I seethed. “So he says.”

“My liege is not as wise as I had thought if he would let the purest of light slip through his fingers.”

The comment siphoned some fury away. I rested a hand on Has Been’s hand. Three of mine could fit inside, so oversized it was. “Thank you, Has Been. I needed supportive words this evening. I am reminded of why I surround myself with you.”

He flushed. “M-my queen. Lady.”

The other pawns had lingered, and I had not been aware they listened.

Shock colored Hex’s voice, “You have need of supportive words, Lady Queen? We would never have you in need of anything. Not air, nor breeze, nor starlight.”

“You are the hilt of the dagger, Lady Queen,” said Vassal. “You could stab anyone. Do not stab yourself.”

“Armor,” Sanguine snapped. “She needs better armor around her heart. What pawns are we? No pawns at all, I say! We must be better.”

I grimaced. “Sanguine, do not take too much upon yourself. While you are each important in blanketing my well-being, I am most directly responsible for such armor. I am working on that. There is much to do.”

Sigil softly reprimanded, “Your heart is very important. As important as a mind or body.”

“More important!” Toil snapped at his brother prince. “Lady Queen, you must carve out time for such things.”

“Where does this time come from? I would know because I do not have nearly enough of it. And me immortal.” I chuckled and looked up at the black between stars, but no answer was forthcoming.

The other princes fell into bickering over the ranking of heart, mind, and body. Change’s soul-tortured werebeasts did not enter the discussion of my wellness at all. Then again, they knew best that how a person should feel didn’t mean a person would feel that way.

I abandoned my search for answers in the blackness between stars and realized that Has Been had slipped away to deliver my letter.

I called to Huckery. “Your liege gathers his fifth against me.”

Huckery didn’t answer.

“I would prefer that you answer yourself, princely pawn.” Though I could force his answer.

He rolled his yellowed eyes at Unguis and Loup. “Our liege has forbidden us to say anything.”

“Yet you could, as I am your queen. Does that not tell you that your liege no longer has the power to forbid you when it comes to me?”

Unguis nodded his beastly head, dislodging a chunk of fur. “Yes, and the matter does feel complicated. Then there is his punishment. I am not fond of these, though I am aware I deserve them.”

The feeling that inspired was terrible indeed.

The cobblestones of the courtyard rattled in place, but an ancient presence of mind stopped me from a hasty reply. Kings did punish their princes from time to time, and I knew this to be true. Princes could punish their kings in return when they drifted from purpose. My quibble was with the last part of Unguis’s comment. The deserving part. From what I’d seen, other princes were pragmatic about such things. If they erred, their king would punish them due to their job being completed poorly. But Unguis believed he deserved punishment because of who he was and what he wasn’t. When Change punished his princes, it was to punish their sense of self and ideas of worthiness.

This was a darkness indeed. A conventional grotesqueness lacking utterly in the prestige of monsterdom.

I would convince Change’s princes they were worthy indeed, but I wouldn’t do that by pulsing my will into them or forcing them to betray their king.

To achieve this, I would do the opposite. “I am your queen, and yet here tonight I declare that you will serve me of your own free will. You are the fastest and most furred and manged of my pawns, and I can only respect such monsters.”

Three blank looks met that. Loup’s tongue lolled out of his mouth. Unguis chuckled, low and staccato, believing that I jested. They didn’t know what to do with positivity nor compliment. What was respect? They had no clue. But they would. Change had much to answer for, and I wished to make him accountable more than I wished to save the world.

Though unless a queen learned war, there would be no accountability from kings, so she should start there.

Is leaped down from above, and I pressed a hand against my chest, laughing.

“My, thank you for the fright,” I exclaimed over the gasped exclamations about the beauty of my laughter from the courtyard.

“I had hoped to do so,” Is replied. “Thank you for your laughter, my queen. I am reborn.”

I peered upward. “You’re welcome. Where did you come from?”

“I leaped rather high to get here, Lady Queen.”

Of course. “I appreciate your promptness.”

See had sent Is this time. Perhaps not Will Be, but he hadn’t sent the past to deliver this letter.

After breaking the seal, I unrolled the letter.

Perantiqua,

I tend to your feelings now as they pay me dividends in the form of your writhing moans. Without such feelings, would you scream and plead with me? I think not.

As I sit on my throne, I recall how your breasts bounced and how your hips circled. Your mouth was parted, and I might’ve put my cock in there had our powers been a better match.

How I wish to wrap my hands in your curls and take payment this way. How much could you accept? How long could you hold your breath?

These are questions that see me take myself in hand as I sit on my throne.

Three lessons.

The timing must be when I understand this spin of confusion in me. I hope this will not take overlong.

See.

“Lady, are you well?” inquired Is. “You are flushed with midnight, and I am reminded of an eclipse while looking at you.”

This leather dress concealed a full-body blush, and I was glad pawns couldn’t witness it.

I cleared my throat. “Wait here.”

Once inside my chamber, I slammed the door and read the contents of See’s letter again. The visual he’d created slammed into my head, and I raised a trembling hand to my lips. I couldn’t say how much of his cock I’d accept, nor how long I could hold my breath. But I wanted to do a lot of both. That would be the payment I would seek from him one dusk.

One dusk when he needed something desperately.

See was sitting on his throne and touching himself, and the confines of my dress felt somewhat torturous when I couldn’t part my legs whatsoever.

I sat at my writing desk giving very little regard for the quality of paper.

See,

You speak extensively of my body and that you only tend to my heart to unlock access to pleasures between us. I understand from this that you wish to reinforce your belief about love and that there be none in our physical agreements.

Three lessons. We are agreed in this at least.

As for the rest, I think myself as very accepting. Of air, I confess that I have never thought to deprive myself of it. I do know that the tightness of my dress would interfere with any experimentation, as I can feel my breasts swelling with every shallow breath.

Though the right king would not find the material too difficult to tear.

Think then what bouncing might occur.

Perantiqua

Did I dare send it?

Written words were rather more than spoken words. A written word was immortal. King See had mentioned nothing of my concerns about whether I could feel confident in him. In fact, he’d been very clear that my body was his chief concern, and then had steered our conversation toward just that.

He could use these words against me.

I looked at the letter. “I cannot send you, can I?”

How my desire wished to do so.

A queen must be more than her desire, perhaps.

I placed the letter in my desk at the bottom of the paper pile, then started a new message.

See,

Three lessons. We are agreed.

How well you know yourself has little to do with lessons of war and the payment of them.

Present yourself for our first lesson before the week’s end.

Perantiqua

I passed the letter to Is after.

“Your heart is heavy, Lady Queen,” he murmured.

I nodded. “I have a lot to be thinking about, Is, and I do not know how to go about war. I had not thought of it before a letter, and now I can think of nothing but. A queen must learn war.”

“As a queen, I would imagine so. You will have many humans with beastly qualities rising against you soon, by Change’s orders. He whispers of riches stored in what used to be the abandoned Hotel Vitale. He spreads rumor that opportunity awaits any strong and smart enough to claim it.”

I hadn’t been monster long enough to entirely quit fearing lack of resources. I did not require food nor drink, yet I’d always possessed fear of survival. Such was life in this world and in this era. The habit was a hard one to kick. “I see.”

“Not as well as my king,” Is replied.

“Never as well as that.”

And here I was isolating such an asset because he had brought ambition into our intimacy. To think of him coldly as an asset though… that didn’t align with me either. To obey my heart was not ancient enough, and to obey my head was too ancient tonight. If a between existed, I was unaware of it.

“I wish that princely pawns could be of more help to you during this troubling time,” Is said next. “It must be our purpose to help you because we feel your will, and yet we are not your mouthpieces, I sense.”

They were not my princes, no. A pawn existed to do my bidding, and I saw sense in his words—that I must delegate to them and remove burden from myself. My defense was that I had never been a queen nor had pawns until recently. I had also lived human and monster life providing for my own survival thus far.

I nearly missed his next words.

“But what of princesses? Have you tried them?”

I cut him a sharp look. “Why should war concern princesses?”

Is chuckled, then stared when I did not join him. “Why, only that princesses know much of everything about war. They are married to a king’s purpose. We are mouthpieces, but only a princess bears witness.”

The bloodied curtains drew back in my mind. But of course. “A princess is present when a king decides to beat a drum. She sees his rhythm. She hears his reasonings before he conveys the conclusion of them through his princes.”

“Exactly that, Lady Queen.”

Princesses. I hadn’t considered princesses at all, more the fool me. “A prince as his mouthpiece, and a princess as his witness.”

Is seemed confused over the shocked force of my revelation. “It is so. A princess might be depended upon to know a king’s rhyme and reason.”