62. Chapter Sixty-Two

As each troubled word tumbled from her mouth, my heart sank.

I had a feeling this was what had been on her mind. From the moment Hans made that dumbass remark, I worried about how Arken might interpret or internalize it. I had almost started feeling guilty for the way I had snapped at my second-in-command earlier, but not anymore, fucker. He and I were going to have words later.

I ached with the realization that she thought I was even capable of such a thing. Did this woman not realize how much I adored her? What lengths I might go to just to protect her, even from my own bad habits?

“Arken, you don’t need to apologize,” I began.

“No, I do—I didn’t—I don’t—Gods, I’m not trying to—”

She scrambled to find the right words, to explain herself in full, not realizing just how deeply I understood her headspace. But maybe I should have left this alone. I hadn’t intended to exacerbate this anxiety she’d been dealing with, though it was clearly unresolved. Still, as she struggled for words, I could only think of one decent way to shut her up for a minute.

I kissed her.

Gently, this time, mindful of the raw skin of her lower lip and the split that I had accidentally worsened earlier. I could still taste her blood on the tip of my tongue, and though that alone had done things to my libido, I wanted to make certain that she was okay before dragging her off to bed again.

Her mouth followed mine as I began to pull away, attempting to linger… It was an effort not to groan at that, not to pull her back in and taste her mouth on mine again. We’d both had our fill of supper, and yet I was still ravenous. Even so, we needed a moment to breathe. Emotions needed to be settled, calmer, for the things I wanted to do with her tonight.

“Arken,” I repeated softly. “I understand why you were nervous, and I’m terribly sorry if I gave you any particular indication that’s… what was happening here, but it wasn’t. It’s not. I’m not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not in general. I fear you may be stuck with me.”

“It’s fine,” she murmured, still not meeting my gaze. “I’ve got no right to—”

I didn’t let her finish the sentence, leaning in to kiss her again. Partially to interrupt whatever silly little train of thought that might have been, and partially because I couldn’t resist. I still had her cornered against her pantry door and the kitchen countertops, and the proximity to her mouth was just too tempting for my own good.

“Do shut up, woman,” I replied while my mouth was still against hers.

You’ve got every right.

She sighed, but did so with a smile. And she was smiling still when I finally pulled away.

“Can you do me a favor, though, Kier?”

“Hmm?”

“At least give a girl a warning. If you ever change your mind. If it ever comes to that.”

If I were ever to abandon her, she meant. If I were to toss her aside like one of my fleeting distractions. If she ever became the rule, not the exception. I growled in irritation, not even wanting to dignify that request with a response.

Just tell her, you idiot, I chastised myself. Tell her, and alleviate all these stupid fears.

But it was my own fear that kept the words locked behind my teeth. Not yet. Not yet.

Arken rolled her eyes before dipping her head beneath my arm, wriggling herself free to resume what remained of the dishes. I resisted the urge to pull her back and entrap her in my arms again. For now, I was content to lean against her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder and letting my hands wander.

“That’s very distracting,” she murmured as one of them cupped her ass cheek, the other toying with the band of her leggings, fingers tracing the dip in her hip bones that led towards my final destination for the evening. Her skin was so warm, and so, so sensitive.

“I think you’ll live,” I whispered against her ear, savoring that lemon-and-sunshine scent of her hair.

“I should hope so,” she replied. “You still haven’t told me about your plans.”

“Are you certain that you’re even ready for them?” I teased.

She snorted under her breath, but didn’t reply.

“I’m going to need an answer to that question, sweetheart,” I said, pulling my hand away from her tights.

Her whine as I withdrew was quiet, but I sure as Hel heard it, and the sound sent my pupils to the back of my skull. Gods above and below, that fucking sound.

“What was that?” I crooned.

“Yes,” she breathed. “I’m ready.”

When I bit down on her neck in response, she slammed a soapy palm against her countertop and whimpered again. I let my fingers splay against her lower abdomen, applying light pressure as they traversed lower, and lower—and then the whimper turned into a low groan.

“Are you sure?” I murmured, savoring the way she had started to writhe up against me.

“Kieran, I swear to the godsdamned Source, if you don’t fuck me soon I—”

I caught her by the throat, interrupting her train of thought with a fierce grip. Oh, how perfectly my hand fit here, where it belonged. How lovely it was to feel her pulse beneath my fingertips. It felt like coming home.

“Watch your tongue,” I hissed in her ear. “Before I put it to better use, Little Conduit.”

In one fluid motion, I released her neck and turned her around to face me. My eyes flickered to her arms, where gooseflesh had set those little sun-bleached hairs on end.

“I do believe you’re overdue for a bit of duress, Arken. Wouldn’t you agree?”

For once, I seemed to render her speechless as her own fingers drifted up to her throat, resting where mine had been. I might have worried about being too aggressive, had it not been for the haze of lust that slipped into her expression, and the way her breath seemed to quicken. I took a single pace backwards, allowing for some distance between us in this moment. I cocked my head to the side, studying every element of her body language. Already, the tips of her fingers had started to flicker with tiny little starbursts of Light.

I knew it.

“I asked you a question, love.”

“I would agree,” she said slowly, eyes raising to meet my own. “Sir.”

Oh.

If I wasn’t already in love with the woman, I might have fallen right then and there. Holy fuck.

“Good girl,” I breathed, not even remotely ashamed that my breath had grown ragged. “Very good girl. You remembered.”

It had been months ago now since she’d teased me about it in a passing conversation. I had made some errant implication about being dominant in bed, and I could hardly remember now how that had even come up, but I did recall her response.

“So do you keep your uniform on when you take them to bed? Do you make them call you Captain? Gods, you would—I bet you do,” she’d laughed.

“I prefer Sir, actually, if we’re going for honorifics,” I’d replied, slipping some honesty into my returning quip.

Who knew she’d been paying such close attention, even then?

“I pay attention, Sir,” Arken said now, as if she could read my godsdamned mind. Her tone was subdued, but her eyes were lit up like a Yule tree, sparkling and borderline feverish with anticipation.

Could it even be possible that she had wanted to give this to me for just as long as I had wanted to take it from her? I could hardly stomach the thought of having waited this long, if that were the case, but as her tongue ran over her lower lip again… Fuck me.

“Bedroom. Now.”

It took her all of two seconds to follow my command, darting straight out of the kitchen and towards her bedroom. I watched her from behind, taking notice of the way her fingers seemed to stretch and splay out at her sides, as if they were impatient. Eager to touch. It made my cock twitch.

Already, it felt as though all the godsdamned blood that I had in me had rushed to that part of my body. I was borderline lightheaded, in a euphoric sort of way, just from hearing her speak to me with such lascivious deference.

This woman was going to be the fucking death of me, and what a divine way to die.

Arken stood by the foot of her own bed now, facing me as I leaned against the doorway.

“Take off your clothes,” I commanded quietly, watching as she began to slip off her sweater without so much as a moment’s worth of hesitation.

Her camisole came next, and the lacy little underthing that had cupped her breasts so flawlessly. It was almost a shame to see it go, were it not for the fact that shedding the garment left her soft, rosy nipples exposed to the chill of the night air, and I got to watch as they pebbled over. Naked from the waist up, she began to peel off her socks, her tights, and, finally—her panties.

Fuck.

Every inch of Arken’s flesh was exposed now as she stood before me in shy silence. It wasn’t as though I hadn’t seen her naked, I’d probably seen Arken without her clothes more often than seeing her fully dressed as of late—but I understood the way it felt to be put on private display. The way that it could thrill and simultaneously terrify.

“You are the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen, Arken,” I purred, slinking away from the door frame but not quite close enough to touch. “The most stunning little thing I have ever had the pleasure to touch.”

Her mouth parted slightly.

“Thank you, Sir,” she whispered.

She was already so well behaved, so immediately prepared to submit. It was clear that she was no stranger to this sort of dynamic in the bedroom, and had probably had a taste for other dominants. Whether that was here in Sophrosyne, or back home, I wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered.

I would sate every craving, slake every thirst she had ever had in her life. I would erase any memory of past lovers, past pleasures, past orgasms… and replace them with my own.

I would ruin her for anyone else.

She was fucking mine.