46. Chapter Forty-Six

Good. Fucking. Gods.

My walk home from Arken’s apartment had felt so torturously slow that I’d been half tempted to bite down on my palm and cut-cast a rift just to make it safely behind my own door a little faster. I needed to lock myself in this townhouse and throw away the key in order to resist the overwhelming urge to run right back and shove my tongue down her throat.

Arken fucking Asher.

You’re just friends, you’re just friends, you’re just friends. I chanted that shit like a mantra as I brewed myself some tea, stripping out of my sweaty clothes in the kitchen, tossing them to the corner of the room to be dealt with later.

Just friends.

And it was just an accident, I told myself as I recalled the way Arken’s fingertips had brushed up against my groin right before we’d wrapped up her sparring training. There was nothing intentional when she’d tossed her hair back, either—nothing calculated about the way she shook out that dark brown mane while she’d arched her back to stretch right in front of me. There was certainly nothing strategic about that breathy little moan that had escaped her mouth while she did it.

Nope.

It’s not like I had any room to deny it at this point. Hel, I’d never been able to deny how aggressively attracted I was to that woman. That was partially why this entire friendship had developed in the first place, I simply could not stay away. But godsdamn, we’d been playing with fire this afternoon.

And still, I burned.

I could handle the heat most of the time. I could handle that fire. I was damn good at compartmentalizing the parts of me that roared anytime another prospective partner deigned to even glance in her direction. I could manage the lust in my veins, I could keep my obsession in check without letting it infringe on our friendship. And when I got too close to the edge of slipping up around her, I had my ways of redirecting that energy with a handsome stranger or two.

Though tonight, the idea of any other was honestly repulsive.

You’ve already got me on my knees, Captain. What more do you want?

I wanted my fist in her hair. I wanted my cock down her throat. I wanted to hear her moan my name so many times that she forgot how to pronounce her own.

Too much. I wanted too much tonight. Too much for my own good, and far too much for hers. I needed to be way more careful, far more precise in this game she and I had been playing moving forward. Her companionship was far too important to lose in favor of my aching cock.

I wasn’t sure exactly when that had happened. At what point had Arken become so… integral to my well-being? How was it that the tendrils of her Light seemed to permeate even my darkest of Shadows, illuminating pieces of myself that I’d once thought were lost?

The parts of me that laughed. The parts of me that dreamed. The parts of me that felt… worthy.

“Fuuuuck,” I groaned, pressing my forehead against the wall as the tea kettle began to whistle and howl.

I didn’t know how or when the girl had become so important to me, but at the end of the day, all that mattered was that she was. And though I literally did not have the capacity to avoid flirting with her altogether, I would be more careful in the future. I would be more realistic about my own limits. I had ruined a lot of good shit in my life, but I wasn’t about to ruin this.

After a deep breath, several cups of tea, and a few chapters of a bone-dry military strategy book, I had managed to calm myself into a more rational state of mind. Feeling anchored now, I penned a quick note and summoned Hekate—Arken had insisted I give my mail sprite a name, lest Bluebell feel “isolated in his identity”—and sent off the reminder.

Don’t forget to stretch, Little Conduit.

Even my muscles were aching after today’s strenuous activities. Once Arken had gotten into the swing of things, I had dragged another striking dummy over, running through drills of my own. For a while there, the two of us had trained in quiet tandem, occasionally exchanging quick nods, having our silent conversations as we checked in with one another every now and again. I think we’d trained for nearly four hours today—over double the amount of time we typically spent.

But if there was one thing that I knew about Arken Asher: you do not stop that woman once she’s on a roll. I would rather brush a wyvern’s teeth than ever try to interrupt the momentum that she seemed to thrive on. Besides, her energy had been infectious. It always was.

My raven returned, carrying a curl of creamy white parchment and Arken’s flowing cursive.

What exactly should I be stretching, Captain? Be specific.

I snorted. That right there was exactly why I’d waited to simmer down—I knew she wasn’t done with me yet. Still, I felt my blood reheat… because she knew what she was doing. I tore a slightly larger scrap of parchment from the pile I kept stashed on the counter.

Stretch out your legs in particular. They worked pretty hard today. Looked pretty, too.

I resisted the urge to say anything more suggestive than that, though visions of Arken up against a wall, stretching one leg above her head were dancing around oh-so-prettily in my mind.

Are you asking me to spread my legs for you? How very untoward.

Very untoward, yes. But not nearly as untoward as I wanted to be. Still, I spun the pen between my fingers, ideating on just how far I wanted to push the envelope.

Asking? No, I’m not asking.

Smirking to myself, I took a sip of my tea, wondering if she’d pick up on the more subtle innuendo I was offering. It was only a few weeks ago now that she’d let slip just enough of a reaction in casual conversation that implied she and I might have… very compatible tastes in the bedroom. And considering it was taking her quite a bit to reply… I had a feeling my response might have met the mark.

Five or ten minutes later, Hekate returned to my shoulder.

Maybe next time we should incorporate the stretching as part of the cool down, if you’re going to be so very demanding about it. I can only get so flexible on my own, perhaps you could assist with that?

I’d hate to pull a muscle.

Abyss take me.

If you want my hands on your thighs again, Asher, all you have to do is ask.

Or, you know. Beg for it. But I held my tongue in that regard, because if she escalated that kind of conversation, I would be out the door in about 3.5 seconds.

Like you could keep your hands off of them either way. Anyhow. I’m off to take a bath and spread — I mean, stretch my legs, as instructed.

Enjoy your evening, Captain.

Devious little thing. But a bath did sound divine right about now.

I padded my way down the hall, smirking to myself as I snagged a fresh towel and a bar of spiced soap from the linen closet. Once I made it inside the large bathing suite adjoined to my bedroom, I followed Arken’s lead and began filling my own tub. Feeling a tad more self-indulgent than usual, I slipped a few capfuls of an expensive bath oil into the water as it filled—scenting the air with my typical citrus and cloves.

Enshrouded in a warm mist, I could feel my body start to release the tension even before I stepped into the tub, but a low hiss of pleasure still escaped my mouth as stiff muscles sank beneath the scalding surface of the water. I groaned softly as the heat of the bath went to work, serving doubly to slough off the sweat and grime of my day, while also attending to my sore flesh.

I’m off to take a bath and spread my—

Yeah, about that release of tension… Maybe it was more like redirection. Because that aching pressure and heat was simply coiling at my core now instead, that all-too-familiar tension building as I replayed certain memories, recalling certain images to mind.

When I thought about her pretty mouth and the filthy tongue that hid behind such perfect, freshly-bitten lips this afternoon, I felt my cock twitch and harden between my legs. It had been at least half-hard all godsdamned day, but at least now, I could allow my mind to wander.

I thought about those beads of sweat dripping down her neck. I thought about pink cheeks and panting little breaths as she worked hard for me, I thought about the way my praise seemed to make her flush a little deeper than usual today. I thought about how godsdamned easy it would have been to take her right on the floor of that training room, to toss her around that training mat as requested. I thought about how badly I’d wanted to.

“Fuck,” I murmured, one hand slipping over my own thigh, reaching to grip myself hard at the base of my erection… and slowly beginning to stroke it.

Because she would start slow, I thought.

Yeah, she would ease into it, tease me until I was so fucking stiff that she could barely wrap her fingers around the length of me. Those golden eyes would go half-lidded and lustful, the tip of her tongue running over that plushlower lip of hers. She would start to whine and keen while I played with her pussy, achingly slow. She would beg me to let her taste it, to let her take me in her mouth. Arken would fucking plead for permission to worship my cock. And she’d do it while riding my hand, my fingers knuckle-deep inside her.

I just had the strangest sense that my Little Conduit had a bit of an oral fixation. Or perhaps I was simply very, very observant—especially when it came to her.

I groaned aloud as I began to move my hips beneath the water, my thighs flexing as I fucked my own fist to these most infuriatingly tempting thoughts.

I could have her. I could have all of her, I knew I could. Arken would not deny me if I asked… I just knew better than to ask anywhere but here, in the confines of my own fantasies.

Here, though…

My eyelids fluttered closed as I summoned her image to the forefront of my mind. Her back against that training mat, breathing hard as I stood over her. The way I would have toyed with her as I stripped off her leggings, taking my sweet time as I unlaced them, exposing pale and perfect flesh. I thought about the way her thighs were probably decorated with those gorgeous silver slivers, evidence of the way her body carried every swell and curve. I thought about how I would run my tongue over each and every mark, every freckle I found on her skin. I thought about the way her tits would pool and flatten a bit against her chest, and the way they’d bounce once I finally had a hand between her legs, fucking her with my fingers first.

The water sloshed around the tub a bit dramatically now, as my cadence had already started to grow feverish, my grip against myself firm, my balls feeling tight and heavy.

Easy. No need to rush… We’ve got all night.

All night, and every night, if I were being truthful. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d made it a day without fucking to the thought of Arken Asher—whether that was via my hand, or a stranger in the guest room.

What would it feel like to actually fuck her, though? Gods, it would probably be heaven between those thighs. Hot and wet and wanting. I would never know what bliss could be found at Arken’s center, I knew that much, but that never seemed to stop me from imagining it. Visualizing where I’d run my tongue for hours on end, given the chance.

You’ve already got me on my knees, Captain.

Maybe I’m in the mood to get thrown around a little.

Are you asking me to spread my legs for you?

She was so maddeningly sexy. It was the intentional, calculated nature of her torment that had truly done me in today, the way every quip spilled from her filthy mouth with ease, laced with just a hint of invitation.

More and more often lately, our game felt less like a tussle between our egos, and more like we were testing the waters. Dancing on edges. Wondering if certain rewards were worth certain risks. There was this hidden undercurrent between us now, one that whispered, “It’s just a game, for now. But is that all you want it to be?”

Irritated by the inconvenience of all this water splashing around, I stepped out of the tub, steadying myself with one hand against the wall. My left hand remained firmly on my cock, still stroking, still emulating sensations I wished I was stealing from her body instead. Thieving straight from her hands, her mouth, her cunt.

My breath grew heavy, fast and hard as I reached for something very specific in my mind, unlocking a certain compartment that I kept close by, almost exclusively for this purpose. By day, I kept them locked up tight, but once nightfall came around… my more familiar Shadows eclipsing all that was good and kind and respectful in me…

I let the memories overtake me.

Every whine. Every moan that ever escaped her mouth when she stretched or struggled. Every time I’d ever heard her breathless, the way she’d pant after sprints. Every time that she’d playfully called me Sir.

I loved every last visual that I could conjure of Arken in my mind, but it was the sounds she’d make that would truly be the death of me if these fantasies ever unfurled. Her voice was just so fucking pretty, already a siren song every time she spoke. But I wanted to play her body like the exquisite instrument it was—with the attention of a master composer—until Arken Asher sang for me, and me alone.

Focusing my fervor around the thickening crown of my cock, I imagined how she might whimper and wail for me if I ever thrust this length inside her. I bit my lip as I indulged in the notion of what it might take to get her to scream for me, to rip my name from her throat like a curse. And what it might take to hear her whisper my name like a prayer.

A more errant thought flickered through my mind for a moment, recalling the oddly intimate sensation, that strange little tug that I’d felt at my core a few weeks ago, when Arken had pulled from my Shadows to draw her aetherblade. There had been something sensual about that, too—watching her hold a knife to the throat of an heir in my name.

I thought about the poison that dripped off her lips as she’d snarled at Anders in my defense, and the way that in that moment, it almost felt like she was staking her claim. She hadn’t said the words aloud, but I could have sworn I heard it in that scathing tone of voice.

He’s mine.

With a sharp inhale and a low hiss sliding past my teeth, I found my first round of release over the mere thought of Arken Asher and her aetherblades.