29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

The remainder of my first quarter at the Arcane Studium had passed by rather uneventfully, leaving me restless and bored.

I spent most of my free time with Kieran these days, but work had been keeping him busy as of late. New investigations seemed to crop up constantly, leaving very little free time for our adventures, though we snuck them in where we could. In lieu of his company this week, I had taken to studying and practicing my arcana with refreshed fervor.

For the last several days, I had spent every spare hour holed up in my studio, attempting to apply all my learnings with Light to the other elements, the ones I kept hidden. It was admittedly exhausting. Tonight in particular, I had worn myself to the bone, yawning and stretching as I padded around the kitchen in search of a certain tea blend, one that Amma used to make for me after long days of foraging in the forest. My muscles were a bit sore.

Arcana seemed to take its toll on the body, which was hardly surprising. I’d been at this for hours, practicing the incantations and gestures, poring over tomes. I was just about to draw myself a hot bath and get ready for bed when I heard a few urgent, desperate-sounding knocks against my front door.

“Arken?” A frantic, muffled voice called through. “Ark, are you home?”

That sounded like… Laurel?

I quickly rushed over to the door, wrapping my robe around my otherwise naked body as I dashed across the room.

“Laurel,” I said as I opened the door to the tearful face of a friend. “Are you okay?”

She immediately burst into tears and I tugged at her arm, pulling her inside.

“I’m—hic—I’m so sorry to barge in like this, there’s just, I don’t know who else—I just,” she said in between small, hiccuping sobs.

“Hey, shh. It’s alright, it’s no trouble. C’mere, Laur,” I said, wrapping my arms around her, fearing for the worst as she shuddered against my chest. “Take your time. We can talk when you’re ready.”

Fifteen minutes and several warm cups of tea later, Laurel began to explain what happened.

“I got a letter from Lord Ymir today, on behalf of my parents. They were apparently too indisposed to—well, it doesn’t matter. My little brother is gone. Stolen. Amir was just taken from the streets of Yvestra, and he’s just disappeared without a trace. Apparently, he’s been gone for weeks. Weeks, Arken! And nobody told me until now!”

“Oh my gods,” I breathed.

“Lord Ymir apologized on their behalf but I’m still so furious with my parents. How could they not take two godsdamned minutes to send a sprite? The only reason Ymir is reaching out is because there have apparently been similar disappearances elsewhere, and he wanted me warned, in case our family is a general target. They might even assign me a personal guard. What in the Hel is happening?”

“And they still have no idea where he is? Or who was involved?”

“No,” she sniffed. “I guess our nanny had her head turned for a fraction of a second. He couldn’t have just wandered off, they were in the middle of the markets and he wouldn’t have gotten very far. Somebody had to have taken him, but there hasn’t been a ransom or anything.”

My heart sank.

Without a ransom, it seemed more likely that Amir had been stolen by people who intended to keep him. The Ansari family was very wealthy and very well-connected, so if the culprits had demands, surely they would have made them by now.

I prayed that the Fates would be kind, and that Amir would be found soon. While I had no true siblings of my own, I could still empathize. The other children of the Brindlewoods were still so dear to me, and I thought of them often.

I would be in tatters if I was in her position.

“You’re staying here tonight, Laur.”

She tried to argue, claiming that she didn’t want to impose, but all I could think about was how I would feel if I had to spend a night like this alone. I refused to take no for an answer, and instead tossed her a pair of my pajamas and drew her a bath.

I brought over my little tray of pebbles and crystals, my tiny hoard of found items since I’d been here, and left them by the tub.

“You know, just in case you feel like throwing something,” I said with a small smile.

As an Earth Conduit, I’d often catch Laurel spinning sand or pebbles around her fingertips as a mindless, anxious habit. The last time I’d seen her, she was arguing with an ex and ended up with little bits of quartz orbiting around her head. Honestly? I was surprised she hadn’t just lobbed them at the woman instead… I would’ve.

“I appreciate you,” she said softly.

I nodded and stepped away to give her some privacy—time and space to process this alone.

About half an hour later, her voice startled me from dozing off.

“Hey, can I steal a couple blankets?”

I was lounging on my bed, reviewing some notes from a lecture earlier today, and raised one brow at the inquiry.

“You are not sleeping on the couch, Laur. Get your ass over here,” I said, pushing myself over to one side and patting the empty space in my bed.

“Ugh, I love you,” she murmured appreciatively, crawling in beside me. You didn’t often have to tell Laurel something twice, and I liked that about her.

She picked up a light novel from the stack at my bedside table, and for a while the two of us just enjoyed some calm, quiet time together. Simply existing in one anothers’ orbit. As it started getting late, Laurel turned to me with a strangely wistful, apologetic looking expression.

“I’m sorry for doing this, Ark.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno, I can’t help but feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness. We haven’t seen each other in weeks, and it’s shitty of me to just burst into your apartment with my troubles when I’ve hardly been there for you.”

“I’ve been perfectly fine, Laurel.”

“I know, I know. You can take care of yourself. It just sucks that we don’t have any courses together anymore, and I worry about you going all… hermit on us. I should reach out more,” she said.

I laughed quietly, patting Laurel’s head. It was sweet that she still worried about me, but I had adapted to Sophrosyne quite well.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, or worry about. Kieran wouldn’t let me hermit if I tried, he’s constantly dragging me all around the city whenever he’s not working. So if anything, I’ve been bad at keeping up with you.”

“How is that going, by the way? Are you and the sexy guardsman official yet?”

I resisted the urge to groan or roll my eyes. I knew that she was asking this as a means to distract herself from Amir, but I understood and played along.

“No, we’re just friends.”

She raised a brow, looking skeptically towards the ceiling since she couldn’t quite face me in her current position.

“You told me, verbatim, that you wanted to fuck that man on sight when you first met. The few times I’ve seen you two together, he looks at you like… Gods, he even looks like he’s fucking you every night, Ark. You’re telling me the two of you still haven’t?”

I sighed. “It’s not like that.”

“Bullshit,” she immediately shot back.

“Okay, okay,” I acquiesced. “There is obviously some mutual attraction, but I’m not looking for a relationship! And Fates know that he isn’t, either.”

“Alright, fair,” Laurel reasoned. “I feel like he’s my primary competition in the taverns.”

I snorted. I was sure he was.

“Sex would just complicate things, and his friendship means a lot to me. I asked him if we could keep it platonic. It’s a mutual agreement.”

“Mmm, I still don’t buy it,” Laurel said plainly. “I think the two of you should just bone and get it over with.”

Honestly? Sometimes I felt the same way.

I had no doubt that he and I would have great sex, but I didn’t know how to explain that the idea of sleeping with Kieran was vaguely terrifying.

Some rewards weren’t worth the risk.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t had my fair share of casual tumbles with pretty strangers. I could have sex without feelings involved, but shit often got messy as soon as I started to care about anyone. I had broken one heart back home—watched the way my love transformed a soft, gentle woman into something vicious, hard and cruel.

Sometimes I wondered if Graysen had softened again in my absence. For her sake, I hoped so. She deserved to be happy.

Kieran and I had obvious chemistry, but I had my reasons for keeping him at arm’s distance—reasons I couldn’t really get into with Laurel, either. But also…

He wore it well, kept it all hiding in plain sight, but I knew there were wounds beneath that man’s armor. There was a dark and deep pain that all of the charisma and cocksure energy in the world couldn’t quite hide, held within that glacial eye. I only caught glimpses of it sometimes, but I knew Kieran had his own reasons for keeping things platonic between us.

I would not let my own insatiable impulses introduce any more troubles or complications into that man’s life. Not when his companionship was such a gift, something I had so sorely needed.

Laurel prodded at my side with a fingertip, rousing me from my introspective thoughts.

“Nah,” I replied. “Not when there are plenty of other, less complicated options. Who’s your latest quarry, hmm?”

“Fates, don’t get me started on Cypress. She’s completely gorgeous and well-connected, but has the emotional availability of a boulder. I actually asked her if I could come over tonight and talk, and she said ‘Sorry, I’m going to bed early.’”

“Excuse me?! Did you tell her it was an emergency?”

Abyss take me, I really hated the noblesse. Even if that was Laurel’s taste in women, the lack of empathy was astounding.

“Yeah. I told her I had gotten really bad news and needed someone to talk to. That was her response. I guess she has some important dinner party tomorrow and needs her beauty sleep.”

“Laurelena Ansari, please break up with her so I don’t have to get into a fistfight with some socialite.”

“I’ll get around to it,” she said, her voice starting to soften as she got drowsy.

She was resting her head on my stomach, basically using me as a pillow as I ran my fingertips up and down her arm the same way Amaretta used to comfort me as a child when I couldn’t sleep. The scene would probably look romantic to a stranger, but unlike my weak excuses about Kieran, Laurel really was just a friend.

What I loved about Laurel was the fact that she was just as comfortable as I was with the concept of platonic intimacy. There was no confusion in this, as she snuggled into my torso for additional warmth beneath the blankets. She was like me, understanding that sometimes closeness was a much-needed comfort, one that we could give each other without sexual ties or mixed messages. We were both just very physical creatures, craving touch. I had no doubt that was another reason why Laurel probably outpaced Kieran in her appetite for new partners, and truthfully? I admired her for being so unrepentant about it. So completely and unapologetically herself.

Maybe that’s why she and I became such fast friends, whereas I struggled to connect with almost anyone else here in Sophrosyne. Laurel and I were just cut from the same cloth in many ways. I did wish that she and I could spend more time together, but her coursework was charted in a pretty opposite direction from my own. She had family obligations to study the path of a trade leader, and I had very little interest in mercantilism myself.

But even if our paths continued to diverge, I would always be there for her. Always. She had been my first friend in Sophrosyne, and I was a sentimental sap, grateful to have been there, to have provided some semblance of comfort in her moment of need.