Chapter Thirty-Three

For the second time ever, I fall asleep in Priest's arms.

But this time when I wake, he's not gone. I don't find him in a church, about to change our lives forever.

Instead, I find him right beside me, his strong, firm arm wrapped around my waist, holding on even in sleep.

And he is sleeping, his eyes closed, a look of total peace on his face as he breathes in and out steadily.

He is here and I am here, squeezed on his narrow bunk in his chambers, Abe having vacated the room earlier. Outside, gray light begins to filter through the salt-stained circle windows, and I know the sun will be up soon. The crew will be at work, and the ship will spring back to life after the night passes. Even just being kept in the tub for the last few days, I've been able to hear the day-to-day activities of the ship around me.

But for now, it feels like just the two of us in here, just the two of us in this world.

My feelings for Priest are at times complicated, but they are unchanged.

I love him. I loved him then and I love him now, and I don't believe it was his magic that brought us together again, that brought him right to me and me to him. I believe it was simpler than that. I believe it was fate. Fate brought me to him, him to Maren, and both of them to me.

I can't say I don't carry fear in my heart, but it's a different kind of fear now. Perhaps the beast that lives inside him will always lurk there, just out of reach. Maybe I'll see only a glimpse of it every now and then, in the piercing red pupil of Priest when he's overcome with bloodlust, or in the rough handling of our fucking. Maybe when he pushes me toward death, like he did last night when he choked me, that's when I'm actually looking at the monster inside him.

But last night was a test. I submitted to him. I trusted him. I figured if he's going to try and kill me, he should get it over with.

Yet, I didn't die. Priest took great care to make sure I was alright, that I was only experiencing the finest pleasure. And when we were done, he took his time to make sure I was satisfied and safe, enough so that I fell asleep in his arms.

So for now, my fear of that monster reappearing, those nightmares of the church that sting of his ultimate betrayal, will have to go ignored. I'll face them when they rear their ugly heads, and hopefully, I won't have to face them alone. Priest will stare down his demons by my side.

My main fear is that if Priest and I are forever bound to each other…how long does forever last?

He will live forever. He will carry my heart with him for the infinite stretches of time and whatever lies beyond it, but I will only be here for three hundred years, maybe less now that I'm human. Perhaps I'll only have a hundred years with him before I die, before I get old and gray and sick and perish.

Or maybe fate will dole out a bitter hand and give me even less time than that. I might be a savage, able to fight back and take a good beating, harder to kill than your average human. Syrens are strong in so many ways, and I know that strength is still inside me. But if I'm shot? If I'm stabbed? If I'm set on fire? If I'm poisoned or somehow become susceptible to some human disease, or if I fall into the ocean in front of the wrong group of sharks, then I die.

And Priest will go on.

Though the chapter of our lives in Chile had come to a close, a new one is just starting. Our story is continuing.

But it will have to come to an end eventually, and that will happen when I die.

I don't want to die.

I am under this man's spell, and I intend to be for all time. I don't want to watch his face as he watches me pass on, having to live on through life without me. He already lost his wife, and though it was by his hand, I can see what that loss did to him. If I go, will he submit to the monster and exist in agony? What will it be like to watch everyone around me never age while I do? What happens if we have children? Will they an immortal like him, or will he have to eventually watch them die as well?

He stirs a little, his breathing stopping and starting.

"Priest?" I whisper.

He lets out a low moan and pulls me closer to him, nuzzling his nose through my hair and along the back of my neck while he presses his cock against me, already hard and hot.

"You're up early," he murmurs.

"I thought you didn't sleep."

"Only after you tire me out," he says. He adjusts himself and brushes my hair back behind my ears, delicately nibbling the shell. My body immediately responds to him, ravenous, like he's uncovering hunger previously living dormant.

But I don't want to submit just yet. I can't, or I'll lose both my nerve and my focus.

"Priest, I want to ask you something. Something important."

He goes still. "Alright."

I take a deep breath, but his arms hold me tight.

"I've been thinking about this…perhaps not for too long, but I don't think it's something one needs to dwell on."

Silence swirls around us as he waits for me to go on, his breath bated.

"You're an immortal," I say. "And I'm not. And I don't think it's fair that an immortal and mortal can fall in love."

He clears his throat after a moment. "Nothing is ever fair. We both know this well."

"But…what if there was a way around it?"

He stiffens beside me and moves so that his hand is on my arm and he's peering down at me, the black curtain of his long hair tickling my skin. "What way is that?"

"Turn me into a Vampyre."

He blinks at me and then gives me the most incredulous, sour grin. "You know that's impossible."

"Impossible?" I sit up, nearly hitting my head on the bottom of the bunk. "It's not. You're here. You're proof of it, living proof that you can be transformed."

The blue in his eyes turn to ice as his gaze hardens. "I was?—"

"A monster. I know. We know."

He glares at me and lets out a huffy growl.

"But you were a human before. A witch, perhaps, but a human. You were mortal. You were transformed, and you became the monster. But I'm not human. I am a monster too. My body has been able to handle being both human and Syren at the same time, so I should be able to handle being a Vampyre too."

"No," he says, shaking his head vehemently. "Absolutely not."

"But what if I beg you?"

"Larimar," he says sharply, grabbing me by the chin and holding me there as he spears me with his angry gaze. "I will not make you into a creature as foul and vile as the one I am."

"But will you make me into a Vampyre? If there was a chance I could drink blood and live forever by your side? Would you grant me that?"

"There is no chance of that happening without losing your soul in the process."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You can talk to Abe about it if you don't believe me. He's seen it firsthand. It's been his calling, his entire life. When he left me behind in Chile, he went back to save and rehabilitate more of us. He knows how futile and dangerous your request is."

"Fine," I say tersely. "I will talk to the doctor about it."

His eyes narrow. "Larimar."

"Or is it that you don't want me by your side forever? Just for a hundred years so you can move on to someone else."

I expected to rankle him a little, wanting a reaction, but I wasn't prepared for the one I got.

Abject despair lining his face.

His shoulders falling, his hand trembling slightly as it moves along my jaw to cup my cheek.

"The fact that you won't be by my side until the end of time is the heaviest cross to bear. It's one I don't even let myself think about, because if I did, I don't think I could survive. I would be turned back into a madman. The idea that, one day, I will have to lose you is…my version of eternal damnation."

His voice is raw, fractured, and I think I see the edges of a crack forming around him too, like his whole being is on the verge of coming apart in front of me. The selfish side of me—my own monster—wants to push that crack until it breaks, to have him fall to pieces the way he made me shatter.

But the human side keeps me above such moral lows.

Because I love him.

And even though there's a pettiness inside me that still wants him to suffer for what he did to me, I love him too much to do that.

"Then let me," I whisper to him, reaching out and trailing my fingers along the prickly hair of his beard. "Let me live with you and love you across time."

He closes his eyes and moves his face to the side, pressing his lips into my palm. "Larimar. My sea goddess. My little fish. You're mine for eternity, stretching across life and death. Love doesn't die, not like mortals do. It is eternal in itself."

I run my thumb over his soft lips. "I'm going to talk to Abe," I whisper.

His eyes fly open, flashing like a thunderstorm. "I will not allow it."

"You can't stop me from doing anything," I say sweetly, smiling something wicked now. "One word to Ramsay and Maren, and you'll be back in chains."

"You wouldn't dare," he seethes.

"I would if you tried to stop me," I warn him. Then, I give him my coyest smile. "Besides, you liked being in those chains. You liked exactly what I did to you. I think there's proof of how much you liked it staining the floor."

He growls at me.

I growl right back.

Monster to monster.