45. Let Me Remind You Of Something

Chapter 45

Let Me Remind You Of Something

HUNTER

" I don't think you understand how this works," I say softly, my eyes tracking her every facial movement.

"I think I do. Look, you want to fuck me? That's fine. I can admit that we seem to be on the same page with that. You don't treat me like shit, and I appreciate that, but I'm not going to put myself in a vulnerable position because you want to know every little thing about me."

She sits in her chair and places her palms on the desk, seemingly trying to center herself.

"First, it was that phone call. Now, it's you trying to get me to talk about my past. I don't want that. Those types of questions are for people wading into relationship territory. You don't want a relationship, and neither do I. In this arrangement, you get what every man wants: sex without strings attached. Isn't that what you want from me?"

My hands curl into fists at the rudimentary way she's describing our relationship. Sex without strings? The more she shoves it in my face, the more I realize that I don't like the sound of it. She takes my silence as permission to continue. Her voice is still eerily calm as she speaks again.

"This attraction between us will last a few weeks or maybe a few months. We'll both have a good time and if I'm lucky when it ends, you won't fire me or kick me out of the apartment before I find something else. You'll eventually go on to find some gorgeous model girlfriend, and I'll end up finding some nice, quiet artist, and we'll both go live our separate lives. So let's not make more of this than it is."

So, she already plans to leave me and find someone else. A fucking artist? I'm not even in the running as a possibility for her future.

That thought infuriates me.

I'm on my feet before I know it. Crossing the room to her, I put my hands on either side of the armrests of her chair, relishing in the sudden mixture of shock and fear I see in her eyes.

"Don't presume to know what I want, Megan. The only reason you get away with this much is that I let you, but the line you're treading is thin."

However, instead of being intimidated, she bares her teeth at me. "What part of anything I said was wrong? Go on, tell me."

A growl leaves my throat, frustration at this slip of a woman who is driving me insane. "All of it!"

"Excuse me?" This time, her expression goes slack. "What do you mean?"

My leash has snapped.

"You think you're going to still work in my club while you date a nice, quiet artist?"

"So you do plan on firing me."

"Why would you want to work for a man you used to fuck?"

"Because... because this is casual," she says tentatively.

"You keep pushing and pushing me with these insane assumptions about the future. My future. I think you forget who I am. This isn't over until I say it's over."

Her eyes widen, and she tries to move, but I force her back, furious with her and myself for my lack of control over this woman.

"Let me remind you of something. I fix problems for people by getting rid of their problems, which often means that I make people disappear. Also known as I kill them. That's the kind of man you're casually sleeping with for as long as it suits you."

I'm trying to shock her, but the fear is no longer present in her eyes. Instead, there's a mocking look in them as she pushes me back, getting to her feet.

"You think you can threaten me? Do you think I'm afraid of what you can do to me? What's the worst you can do? Kill me? I'm already living in hell. Do you think you're the cruelest person I've ever met? I already know what it's like to be tortured, so fuck you!"

She picks up a ceramic vase of seasonal flowers on her desk and throws it past my head at the wall behind me. It shatters on impact, and she's shaking, not in fear, but with rage.

"I never said I'd kill you," I say, trying to remain calm. "That wasn't my point."

"Then what was your point? What do you want from me, Hunter?" She spreads her arms, her face twisted in anger. "What is it?"

"You!" I roar, my anger exploding. "I want you, you infuriating woman!"

"You're already fucking me."

"I want more!" I reach over and grab her by her upper arms, pulling her into me. "I'm not one of the boys from your university. I'm a grown-ass man whom you're driving crazy with all these damn plans you're making for once we're over, as if you just can't wait for me to leave! Don't you get it yet? I'm not going anywhere, Megan. I don't want to."

Her expression changes, shock overtaking her features. Suddenly, the coldness vanishes, and I'm looking down at the heartbreakingly beautiful woman who has me all twisted inside.

"What do you mean, you want more?" she almost whispers.

"I may be a cold-blooded monster in many areas of my life, but with you, I can be different. I've never once said that I would throw you away or that I'm using you. And I definitely never said that this was temporary."

I continue, "All of these are just your own words and assumptions. Do you think I go around acting like this with other women? Knowing how desperate you are to push me away, I can bet you've not even done your research on me. I don't date women. I fuck them once, and then we're over. But you're different. You've been different from that first day when you talked back to me at Table 21."

A heavy silence follows my words, and her eyes tremble as she meets my gaze. "I don't–I don't want to fall in love with you."

The doubt in her eyes makes me feel like I'm suffocating, and suddenly, I'm the same boy standing in front of that burning house, on the verge of losing everything. My voice lowers to a hoarse whisper. "Why? Would it be that bad?" I ask, vulnerable as hell. "Do you loathe the idea of loving me that much?"

I can see her searching my eyes, and her voice is hollow. "I've never been in love before, but I have a feeling that if you break my heart, I won't survive it. I don't want to take that risk."

I hate that this isn't an innocent college student talking to me. It's a woman who's experienced far too much pain in life and has lost faith in people. I can see inside of her how tattered and broken she truly is. It only makes me want to hold her even closer.

"What if I promise not to break your heart?"

She shakes her head disbelievingly. "You can't make that guarantee, Hunter. No one can. You're taking a gamble, and my pain is the price."

I study her, an urgent feeling seizing my chest. I can't let her run away from this. I won't. It's too late for running.

"You, of all people, should know that everything in life is a gamble. You getting a scholarship into an art institute was a gamble. You coming and working here was a gamble. Sleeping with me was a gamble. Everything you've achieved in life has been through hard work, but it's also been a coin toss. So why not us?"