17

"Are you okay, shorty?" Hudson asked an hour later after they came over and we told them what happened.

I slapped on a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just fast, but it's great." I couldn't meet any of their gazes knowing they would bust me and focused on my food instead.

Julian came over to me and turned my chair away from the table and knelt in front of me. He took my hands in mine and ducked his head down into my view. "Tams, look at me, my sweet mate. Please?" He smiled when I did. "Don't lie. I'm sorry. I was pushy earlier. I was scared and overwhelmed."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my breath catching as I desperately tried not to cry.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet fairy," he breathed as he reached up and cupped my cheek, using his thumb to wipe away my tear. "Don't apologize. Please. I was—we're fine. It's too fast for you and that's okay. You don't regret me. You regret how fast this happened and you would have no matter which of us this happened with, right?"

"I-I—well—you—"

"He's saying he was taking it personally, cream puff, you aren't ready to mate at all," Lucca said calmly. "He was freaking out too and now he's not. I get where his head was. If you were saying it was too soon, I would have thought you meant with me only too. You meant for all of us. You weren't raised with this and you've been clear on that."

"Exactly," Julian agreed, glancing at Lucca. "Thank you. Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say."

"Really?" I checked, searching Julian's eyes. I let out a shaky breath when he nodded. "It's not that's it's you. Mating at all—the forever and souls—it's too much, Julian. It's always been—even the pieces of my soul and that I feel my soul—it's all so fucking crazy to me still!"

"I know. I know it is. It's not to us, but I get it is to you." He leaned in more and gave my lips a breath of a kiss. "So we're not mated yet."

"But we are, Julian."

"No, we're not." He moved his fingers over my lips and gave me a soft smile. "It's our relationship. We say what we are. No one else. You know who taught me that? The smart, gorgeous woman in front of me and she was completely right. Our relationship is what we say it is. Only we get a vote in that. And you wanted to give me another piece of your soul, right?

"That's what you were ready to give me. That's what I wanted to give you—meant to give you too. So that's what we did. That's what it was to us. People can call it whatever definition they want, but that's what it was to us." He nodded when I scrunched up my brows and stared at him. "That's what we did and it was perfect, everything I always wanted. You too, right?"

Tears filled my eyes as I heard in his mind that he accepted that only and was fine with thinking that. He would do that for me and not push, leave it at that level because he loved me that much.

I nodded so fast my neck and head actually hurt.

"Then that's what happened. We gave a piece of our souls to each other and fuck what it's called." He took in a deep breath and let it out. "And if one day you're ready to say we're married or—" He gasped when I kept nodding. "You're ready? I didn't even ask yet. I can be Dr. Julian Vale?"

"Yeah, you stupid warlock," I choked out and tackled him with all I had. We fell to the ground and I wrapped around him like a Tamsin barnacle as he chuckled and hugged me back.

"Yeah, I'm your stupid warlock, my sweet fairy," he breathed in my ear. "Don't be sad. Be my cute little wifey. That's a miracle after how badly I've messed up a million times. It's a miracle I don't deserve. I love you so, so much, Tamsin. Thank you. Thank you."

He broke down crying and stood holding me so every inch wrapped around him. He moved us so I was against the wall as if to trap me there so I couldn't leave him and he could keep me against him. I held onto him just as tightly and cried as well.

I was pretty sure it was happy tears this time.

Well at least 80% happy and maybe 20% crying from the crazy of it all.

"I want to tell people the truth, not about Zaos and being drugged, but that—I can't be the only one with an interspecies mating who could make this mistake," I said honestly. "I want to be honest with my people and warn—I've read a lot of journals, and even giving a piece of my soul wasn't explained. I don't want others to be scared like I was."

"You're going to take a lot of crap for it," Hudson worried. "So will the commanders and others for not warning you and explaining it."

"They've never mated," I argued. "And Calarel did talk to me about this. It wasn't like anything she said it would be. That's my point. I think a lot of it is not what people think, and it's very much about the couple and our magic. Julian's different than a fairy and stronger than a fairy because he can tap into my magic. I think even if we take shit, it's worth having the discussion."

Julian sighed and gave me a look of love but also looked like he wanted to strangle me. "You give too much of yourself. You really do. I can't see you hurt about this. I…"

"I don't think she will," Neldor interjected, staring at the floor with his arms crossed over his chest. "I think this is the one time you need to have faith in your people and in Faerie. They've supported you and surprised you before. This is the time that they'll understand and love you for being honest and real with them."

"You agree with me?" I hedged.

"Yes." He let out a slow breath and raised his head to meet my gaze. "And I think it would wound your soul to lie about your mating with the man you first fell in love with knowing you were a fairy. I'm scared what that would do to you. I think you need to be honest about that too and tell your people that you both agree to be married and give each other a piece of your soul."

"Let them support you in that," Lageos muttered. "Your mother trusted fairies. She believed in them, and I want to believe they will support you in this. I saw so much of the darkness of that damn planet with how much they hurt her, but you've cut out that cancer. Now I've seen the good. I want to have the faith she did. I do. I think—I agree with Neldor. Gods help me, I do."

"Damnit," Darby swore.

I glanced over to him, worried he was so upset.

He looked destroyed as he met my gaze. "I support you in whatever you do, agra. I always will, but I hate any chance for you to be hurt. I don't have faith in people, but if not doing this could hurt your soul… I think it's a risk you have to take. Either way, I'll be here and love you and hold you if it hurts. I will. I just don't want you to have another reason to hurt."

"Me neither, shorty," Hudson agreed, Lucca echoing him.

But in the end, they agreed with Neldor that it was worth the risk not to hurt my soul anymore.

Fuck.

Just… Fuck.

We did tell Iolas and Taeral the full truth as Neldor and my godsfathers. It was fair and something I felt they should know. They asked that we tell everyone we had a bottle of wine with lunch. Nothing over the top or too much, but something completely normal and what people did. They thought it was fair and part of the story.

I agreed. Julian was a bit more hesitant and worried how people would treat me, but if we were going to do this, I wanted to be honest, and the wine was basically the same as the drupegranate.

Lageos put magic on Julian that would block him from everyone going forward. Not just to hide the truth, but now that we were mated, he needed to be protected at a different level.

We sat down with the royal healers and the commanders and told them the new "truth" about what happened. We also told them that we wanted to be honest with the people of Faerie so they understood this could happen with interspecies mating and different power levels. Julian made the point that things also became blurry the moment he could tap into my magic.

The commanders agreed and confessed they didn't have much knowledge about that. The royal healers as well, and they said their journals didn't cover that. Most were proud that I would be so bold and put aside my own embarrassment to give such personal information to my people to protect them. That was nice to hear, even from the few that didn't generally like me.

I saw pity from the commanders who were normally the first to chastise me. It gave me hope that the people of Faerie wouldn't be jerks about this.

The next day, we set up a press conference with the journalists of Faerie after classes and a meeting Julian couldn't miss. It was going to be broadcast live over the TVs that were set up now at every town square all over both realms and we made sure it was announced the day before. So it spread like wildfire that something big was going on.

"Princess Tamsin has a prepared statement of a situation that she wants to bring to her people, and she will be answering limited questions after," Shael announced. "It is of a personal nature, and while we understand most will find it shocking, please remember yourselves and your manners. The princess is sharing this because she has faith in the people of Faerie. Deserve it."

Oh geez. Shael was making it clear that she would beat people if they misbehaved.

I let out a slow breath and gave Julian the best smile I could before we walked into the room where everyone was gathered. I nodded to Shael and went to sit. There was a flash of a camera followed by another one and suddenly there was just static in my head. My heart raced too fast in my ears and it was like I was underwater.

"Tamsin?" Julian whispered.

I tried to look at him, I really did. But I couldn't move. I couldn't… I wasn't even sure if I was breathing.

"Please let me do this for you, my sweet mate?" he breathed in my ear.

I nodded and turned on my telepathy. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward."

He reached over and took my hand in his, lifting it and giving it a kiss. "You are so many things, but a coward is never one of them. We are a team, and you handled so much of this already. It's my turn. I love you."

"I love you too. Please don't think it's because I don't love you."

"I know. I know it's not that."He kissed my hand again and stood to take the focus off me even more. "My name is Dr. Julian Craftsman, fated mate to Princess Tamsin Vale. I know some of you have doubted that, but we have verified it in the way of my people and fairies as confirmed by Prince Neldor Donovan and Princess Tamsin's father, Lageos Vale."

"Why are you speaking for her?" someone in the back called out.

"Because my mate is worried how people will react to what some of you in the front already realized—we're mated," he said evenly. "Too many people have been overly harsh in their opinions of Tamsin, and this is the one area she is afraid to let people be cruel about because it will hurt me and our feelings for each other."

"Is that true, Princess Tamsin?" the voice asked, her tone gentler. "Does your mate speak for you on this matter?"

"Yes," I whispered, quickly wiping under my eyes. "It was my decision to share this with everyone, and I'm scared it will destroy our relationship."

"Tams," Julian whispered, leaning over and kissing my hair. "I love you so much more than that, my sweet mate. They can all hate me forever and I will never stop loving you, okay? I love you even more for being this strong and wanting to help them. You are perfect." He lifted my head and made me look into his eyes. "You are perfect, and I will always love you."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled at me. "Don't be. You are my sweet little introvert who doesn't like to share anything personal. I know this is so hard for you, but you'll do it anyways if it helps one fairy. I think you're a miracle and I support that—I support you and always will. So let me do this."

"I love you, Julian. Thank you." I flushed lava hot saying that in front of everyone and even more so when a few people chuckled.

He simply kissed my forehead and let me try and hide again, which was sort of ridiculous given this was live. I did my best to get it together and looked out at the back wall and then found Stefanie in the group, meeting her gaze and finding strength in it. I nodded to her in thanks and let out a slow breath, reaching for Julian's hand and squeezing it.

"A few years ago, before Princess Tamsin knew of her birth or even what happened in Faerie, we started our relationship," Julian told everyone. "That's fairly common knowledge. What some might not know is she gave me a part of her soul before she found another fairy who could explain it to her. She didn't know she did it or meant to at the time, it simply happened.

"I won't speak on that when I'm not a fairy. I don't know what you're taught or—it's not my place. What Tamsin wanted to talk about is what happened yesterday. I want to make it clear that my mate did check with me that I was comfortable sharing something so personal with her entire world. I agreed, but I had reservations because of how Faerie has treated her.

"Some of you have been overly harsh toward her and her decisions. I was worried many would be unfair to her, but Prince Neldor asked I have faith in Fairie, in her people, so I will." He took in a slow breath and let it out. "Tamsin and I did not mean to mate yesterday. It was an accident." He held up his hand when people gasped and started to ask questions. "Please wait. Let me explain."

"And I will attest that Princess Tamsin and Dr. Craftsman both have shown me exactly what happened from their perspectives no matter how uncomfortable it was for both of them," Neldor cut in. "And it was an accident. I swear it by royal vow they did not understand and it… It wasn't like what I've read about."

"Thank you, Prince Neldor," Julian accepted. "I won't get into specifics or intimate details besides it happened during the intimacy between mates. Tamsin and I are adults and we're in love. Accept that. There is no shame in loving each other and expressing it."

Yeah, I flushed lava hot again and moved my hand over my face. Stupid warlock.

"I will also be clear that Tamsin and I have discussed marrying. I know that isn't what is normal in Faerie. It's not normal to warlocks either, but I love my mate, and she wasn't raised as a fairy or as a witch. She grew up thinking she was human. This is a lot for her, and I accept that. I accept that it's hard for her and she kills herself to accept all of us.

"She constantly has to change her whole view of life and what's real to help all of us and… Live. Her whole life changes all the time. She has wings—extra appendages, and she never thought that possible for almost two decades. I was there when she got them, and I saw how hard it was for her to accept her new reality.

"I've watched her accept too much, and I couldn't slow it down for her because it wasn't in my power. People needed her to accept too much too fast. But this I could accept. I could accept that the love of my life wasn't ready for our souls to combine forever in her twenties and we could marry instead. Hell, I was honored that she would give me a vow of love and wanted to marry me."

"You wonder why I would, you stupid warlock," I rasped as I squeezed his hand and stared up at him.

He smiled at me. "I was getting into the idea of calling you my cute wifey." He chuckled when I flushed and covered my face. "Hang on a bit longer and we'll go have some sundaes. My wife loves that place."

I nodded, several people chuckling.

"I know she is already engaged, but she almost asked me," Julian admitted. "I begged her to let me be old-fashioned. I was going to ask her before finals and set up for us to elope over winter break somewhere romantic on her last break. I asked her father and had his blessing. I asked her other mates and had their blessing."

"Really?" I gasped, wiping my eyes when he winked at me. "That's perfect."

"We'll still do it. Something quiet and cute. Izzy as your maid of honor, and I can have your mates as my best men. I can call your da Father some more and make his head explode. It will be great."

"I love you."

"I'm glad because I love you too." He cleared his throat and focused out at the reporters.

Right, we were supposed to be adults. Fuck, all of Faerie was seeing this.

I was going to die of embarrassment.

Seriously.

"I thought Tamsin gave me another part of her soul while we were being intimate. It felt close to what happened last time," Julian said. "It was different but not that different. It made sense because we're different. We're both more powerful. She has her wings now. I've hit a much higher level of my magic. I've tapped into her magic. Repeatedly.

"That is the big one and why Tamsin wanted to warn everyone in Faerie. From all the journals she's read of fairies and spoken to mated fairies, this wasn't like it's been described and Prince Neldor agreed. It's more confusing and not clear-cut because I'm a different species. To be completely transparent, yes, we had a bottle of fairy wine with our large lunch.

"But I was a bit buzzed, barely, and so was Tamsin. It wasn't anything. I think some still in our glasses. And we ate a lot. I even said to her that she gave me a piece of her soul, and she thought that's what she did as well and said she wanted a piece of mine. I agreed. It was only fair. I… I've never heard of a warlock doing it, but I've never read of one mating a fairy.

"We are too damn repressed to discuss such things, which is clearly stupid. It's why I supported Tamsin wanting to tell people about this no matter how embarrassing. I felt like I gave her a piece of me just like when she gave me a piece of her. It didn't feel like I would expect a merging of souls. I mean, I don't know what that should feel like.

"I guess that's personal, and it makes sense it's not cookie-cutter. I do agree with Tamsin that it should seem more… I would think there should be more steps like an ‘are you sure' moment. Or something not so in the heat of the moment. Let me be clear that I don't regret it at all. I love my mate and I was ready. I love my mate and would never have pushed her.

"So she wanted to make sure that people were warned that either because of our power levels or how often I've tapped into her magic or our species or we don't know why, it happened in a flash and easily. It happened before my mate was ready. And as her mate, I ask people ignore it happened until she's ready."

"Julian," I gasped.

He ignored me and kept going. "I ask the people of Faerie to be kind to her and give her this consideration when she's done so much for them. She's not ready and it's our relationship. Let us marry—elope even, and be happy for us. She's not ready and if I can accept that, by the gods, please accept it too. Love your future queen and let her come to terms with it in her own time.

"It's what she needs, and she's given you so much of what you need. So just this once, please bend your traditions and let me become her husband and not her mate. Let me be Dr. Julian Vale when she's ready. I don't care about becoming a prince or the title. I just want the love of my life to be happy and loved and supported. She needs your support this time."

I stood and hugged him, my heart hurting when the tears fell. "You said you didn't care what everyone else called it. It's what we call it. Why are you changing that?"

"Because I realized if people started calling me a prince, it would be too real and you would flinch and it would upset you or you would avoid Faerie," he admitted. "They can do this for you, Tams. They can do this one thing for you until you're ready, okay? You do everything for them. You're not asking a lot. It's our relationship to define. They need to respect that."

I leaned back and studied him. "I'm sorry I'm not ready. I love you. I just… I still can't wrap my mind around living thousands of years. I can't. It doesn't compute. That's the holdup. Even hundreds of years. I can't… Magic I can see. I've experienced it. I've seen humans age and die. I can't unsee that to understand living hundreds or thousands of years."

He kissed my forehead. "I get it. That's a fair line, Tams. It is. I think that's an understandable one to be hung up on. And when you don't see me age when I'm forty or fifty, then you'll get it. And we can mate then. Or not. I'm in no rush. As long as you love me and stay by my side, that's all I need. I'm happy. I have you."

"Thank you." I gave him a soft kiss. "I can't keep calling you a stupid warlock if you're going to be this smart."

"I'll mess up this week and deserve it again. I can't help it as a man."

I burst out laughing, hugging him tightly. Unkind but not untrue for sure.

We settled down and sat to answer some questions.

"Princess, please don't answer this if you don't feel comfortable, but I know people will want to hear from you directly that you didn't feel inebriated," the first reporter said gently.

I was shocked and blinked at him before shaking myself out of it. "No, not in the slightest." I let out a slow breath and gave Julian an apologetic look. "There was an emotional aspect. Something happened that made me feel closer to him and—I felt more secure in our future."

"Me too," Julian agreed, reaching for my hand and raising it to his lips. "I felt like you heard me that we're the team. It was my fault I wasn't saying it clearly, but it's how I feel. It won't change no matter what."

I smiled at him. I was starting to believe that. Yeah, it wasn't easy with our past and his mother still being in the picture… But I was starting to believe it.

I would still need reminders, and I didn't think anyone would blame me for that.

No one sane at least.