Epilogue

EPILOGUE

KNIVES

"I told you to put the fucking couch in the middle!" I shout at Lance and Evan. "How's that layout going to work if we put the TV by the only empty wall?"

The expressions on their faces make it clear that I'm really, really pushing things, but I'm beyond stressed—about the move, about the furniture, and, mostly, about living with Maddox.

Maddox comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. "Chill out, Nayeem," he says so only I can hear. "We can always move things around."

He's playing it cool, like he's calm and relaxed, but I can feel the tension in his body, too.

I wonder if he's regretting the decision to move in together.

Lance sits down on the couch and nods. "Like he said. Do it yourself."

I scowl at Lance. He's always up Maddox's ass, looking to him a lot like Maddox looks at Silvano for guidance. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking annoying—and if Maddox wasn't my boyfriend.

Sure, Lance has his girlfriend—and their baby—but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

"I mean, we'd appreciate the help, and we are offering beer and pizza," Maddox hints, stepping away from me as he gives Lance a pointed look. "So if you could please move the couch into the middle?"

Evan snorts. "Are we five now?" he asks, sounding as perpetually amused as ever. "Asking pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"It's better than demanding it like a barbarian," Lily says, taking a sip from a glass of wine. She's been standing by the door, offering input without lifting a hand of her own. "Besides, some of us brought our own beverages." She lifts the glass in a mock salute to me.

"Evan, just do it so we can finish all this," Evan's boy Helios says. He's carrying one of the boxes labeled "kitchen," and he helpfully puts it down… on the dining room table, even though the kitchen is right there.

"Here, I'll help them. You go grab more boxes. I think there's only one left," Maddox says, pushing me in the direction of the door.

I obey only because I don't want to flip out at Evan. Despite everything, he's still technically my boss.

I leave the small house Maddox and I had bought—bought!—and head to the big truck we'd rented to haul all our shit. Sally is sitting on a chair on the front deck, rocking the baby. He's adorable, but at just two months old, he also doesn't do much beyond eat and sleep.

"Hi," Sally says, smiling. "Sorry, give me a few minutes to get him to sleep, then I'll carry some boxes."

I shake my head. "No, don't worry about it. We're practically done anyway, and you really shouldn't be lifting anything."

I haul the single remaining box out the van and take it back inside. It's labeled "bedroom," but I place it on the dining room table next to the box Helios had abandoned there. I'll deal with it later.

"Looks like that's it," Maddox says to everybody. "Which means we can all have the cheap beer we bought for you."

Our helpers complain, but I step in and say, "He's kidding. We got you five different types of indie IPA."

It's weird being surrounded by so many people. It's weird having this many people willing to help, actually. Even Thunder had offered to help me move, but there's only so much mixing of friends' groups that I can deal with.

I also don't really need Thunder to tease me about this whole domesticity thing.

"Pizza should be here any minute," Maddox announces. "So hurry up. We don't want your greasy-ass fingerprints on our shit."

Evan flips Maddox the bird. "That'll teach me to help you ever again. You and Knives are a pain in the ass."

"Because that wasn't completely obvious before?" Lily asks dryly, finally coming over with her almost-empty glass of wine.

Sally hands the baby to Lance, then sits down next to him on the couch while Maddox and I distribute the expensive IPAs to everybody. When everybody's got a drink, I take a deep breath and steel my nerves.

I clear my throat, and everybody stares at me. Evan has his arm around Helios, Lily has pulled up a chair near Lance, and Maddox is just within arm's reach.

"So, uh. I figured since we've got everybody here, I might as well do a small toast. Speech. Whatever," I say, nervous despite myself.

Maddox side-eyes me. This hadn't been something we'd talked about, and he's just as surprised as everyone else is.

I'm not exactly the speech-giving type, after all.

After a few seconds of silence, Helios says, "So… are you going to give the speech?"

"I'm working up to it!" I snap. I catch the way Evan's eyes narrow, so I quickly add, "Sorry. Um, okay. I guess. First, thanks to everybody for coming to help with the move. It means a lot to me and Maddox."

Maddox nods, then reaches out to squeeze my hand encouragingly. It gives me a slight boost of confidence.

"I don't know how much I've bitched about my time in prison to you?—"

"A lot," Lily interrupts.

Evan nods in agreement, and even Helios looks amused. The only two people who don't react are Lance and Sally, who I don't know well enough to have bitched to.

Sally seems nice, at least, and she smiles warmly at me, gesturing for me to go on.

"Okay, anyway ," I continue, "what I was going to say, prison sucked. A lot. I felt like I was alone and friendless and that I couldn't trust anyone in the world ever again."

Next to me, Maddox winces, and I can feel him tensing up.

"But then I joined the Crescis, and I ran into Maddox again." I laugh darkly. "Couldn't believe my damned piece of shit luck." I run my hand through my beard nervously. "Of course, turns out, it was good luck. ‘Cause I wasn't over Maddox. I'm never going to be over Maddox. And you all put up with my bullshit while I was sorting myself out, and you helped Maddox deal with me being a pain in the ass. So, the point is… thank you. For everything." I eye Evan. "Although I still think you could have convinced Silvano not to send me on that damned swamp tour."

Evan cracks up laughing. "You really think Silvano would ever listen to me?"

Beside him, Helios rolls his eyes. "Silvano barely listens to him when it comes to his security and he's actually in charge of that."

Maddox sighs and bumps his shoulder against mine. "We probably would have had to appeal to Kyran, and had him make Silvano change his mind."

For some reason, that makes Evan crack up even harder, to the point where he's burying his face against Helios's hair while his shoulders shake from his laughter.

Helios looks just as bewildered as I feel.

"Hey, it coulda been worse," Lily interjects, smirking at us.

"How could it have been worse than getting tortured by the heat and mosquitos and getting shot at?" Maddox asks her with a faint glower.

Lily's grin widens. "It could've been in the middle of summer."

Sally shudders. "New Valence in summer? Not ever happening."

"What, you don't want to go camping there?" Lance asks, gently rocking his son. "It could be Daniel's very first vacation."

"Not on your life," she declares. She takes the baby from him and presses him against her chest. "You want to traipse about the swamp, you do it without us."

"Nobody wants to traipse around the swamp!" I interrupt. "That's the point! Well, the point was ‘thanks for supporting us, ' but you fuckers all ruined it."

Lily laughs, saying cheekily, "You're welcome, Knives. We're always so happy to be of service."

Evan kisses the top of Helios's head. "Just be glad Silvano and Kyran aren't here. They'd have done worse."

There's a knock on the door, and Maddox squeezes my hand before heading over to it. Under the pizza boxes is a delivery driver who looks ready to drop the whole stack, and he takes them.

He brings them over to the dining room table, setting them down near the fucking kitchen box and the one I'd left beside it.

"All right. Toast to Knives and me, then eat up," he declares.

We lift up our fancy beers, say cheers, and start drinking. The mood gets lighter after that, with conversation flowing easily. I even discover I get along with Helios, although Evan keeps glaring at me while I chat with him.

Like I don't have my own boy.

Everybody leaves a few hours later, after devouring the pizzas and probably making a mess of the new place.

Maddox and I sit on our properly placed couch and clink our beer bottles against each other.

"To our new home," I say, smiling at him.

"To our new home," he repeats with a grin of his own. "And to you. That was a pretty good speech. Really cheesy and everything."

I groan and poke him in the side. "Just wait. When I'm not exhausted I'm gonna tie you down and make you regret poking fun at me."

"So you're saying I should poke fun at you even more," he jokes.

"No. I'd just tie you down and leave you there," I retort.

"Cruel," he says with a swig of his beer. "But also somehow fair."

I down half the bottle, then grab Maddox so I can kiss him. He returns the kiss eagerly, and if I weren't tired, I really would start something now. Unfortunately, between all the beers and the whole move, I don't think I could get it up.

"Hey," I say when I break the kiss. "Welcome home."

His smile makes his whole expression light up. "Welcome home, Nayeem."

I smile back, pulling him against me. "Don't think this means I'll go easy on you from now on. I'll put you through your paces. Really make you work for it."

"Make me work for it?" He arches a brow. "I think you've got that backwards."

"You'll be begging to obey by the time I'm through with you," I counter.

He bursts out laughing, and I pull him into another kiss.

I never expected that I'd be here, with Maddox, in a house we'd bought together—all my teenage dreams, finally come true.

But here we are, and I wouldn't have it any other way.