2. Knives

TWO

KNIVES

This has to be some sick joke on the boss's part.

It's bad enough that I have to see Maddox every so often, our paths crossing because we both have meetings with Silvano or there's other business in the mansion. Being forced to do an entire "mission" with him?

I pace around the office, my teeth clenched as tight as my fists.

Every time I see his face, I want to punch him.

Why the fuck does he have to look so good when he's all roughed up, though? I thought after ten years of not seeing him, I'd be completely over him. He fucking betrayed me. He hung me out to dry and let me shoulder all the consequences.

I shouldn't still want to fuck him as much as I want to fuck him up.

"You know," Lily drawls. "It'd be easier to work if you weren't distracting me with your dark energy." She stops typing and looks up at me. "Why are you acting like a caged lion, anyway? Maddox get up your ass again? Oh, wait. Was it the other way around?"

I resist the urge to snap at her. Lily isn't going to put up with me being a dick to her, though, and she's one of the few real friends I have.

"No. Well, I did, yesterday," I grumble, finally sitting down in the extra chair. It gives me a decent view of what she's working on. Right now, it just looks like a map of some sort, but it's centered on an area north of New Valence. "It's this task the boss set me on."

"The one where you're doing shit that has nothing to do with security?" Lily turns her monitor slightly so I can see the map, but her attention isn't on the computer screen. She's fully focused on me, her eyes intent on mine.

I sigh. "Yeah, that one. I didn't tell you the full story."

Lily feigns a gasp, pressing her hand to her heart. "I never would've guessed you'd do something like keep the juicy details from me!"

"Yeah, yeah." I run my hand over my face, stalling. I don't want to tell Lily "the juicy details" of this mission because I know she'll make fun of me. She thinks my whole deal with Maddox is hilarious .

She's also one of the few people who knows my history with him, and she's never told me that my anger wasn't justified or that I should get over it already.

"The boss wants me to team up with somebody for this mission. It's more than a one-person job, after all." I stare at my fists, and I remember just how it had felt to have my hand on Maddox's neck. I could have choked him.

He's stupid to even let me touch him.

"Team up with somebody? As in, Maddox?" Lily raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. Maddox." I look away from her, the annoyance and anger roiling in my stomach.

"So in other words," she sums up, "the boss realized the two of you have… friction and decided to ‘fix' it."

She understands what a dick Silvano can be, even though he's been supportive of her over the past few months while she's started to transition. From what she's said, she never would've dared under Silvano's father.

She was the one who'd suggested I join the Cresci Crime Family. I'm sure if she'd known about my whole thing with Maddox, she wouldn't have suggested it, but I'd never given her a name. I'd just given vague references to an old lover who fucked me over.

Lover .

We'd been lovers once. I'd probably even been in love with him, as much as any teenager could be in love. But no matter how much I've tried to date around and find somebody else, nobody had ever made me feel like Maddox had.

Right, because none of the others had betrayed me the way he had.

"Silvano is a fucking dick," I mutter. "But I'm sure he actually thinks we're the best for the job, because even if he's a dick, he wouldn't risk his business just to troll me."

"No," Lily agrees. "He wouldn't." She drums her well-manicured fingers on the desk, considering. "So Maddox and I do the research, and the two of you head out onto the field," she summarizes. "Are you going to be able to handle that?" Her voice has gone gentle, the words careful.

"Why wouldn't I be able to handle it?" I grit my teeth. "It's fine. As long as he keeps his mouth shut and just does his job, I'll deal. I won't let the boss down."

"I don't think he'll risk letting Silvano down again either," she says. "Can't imagine he felt too good about the whole ‘failing Silvano' thing so soon after he got promoted."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't have a good track record of success. The boss is a fool for trusting him."

I know I'm being petty and immature. Even if I can't let it go, I should just keep my mouth shut and act like a professional. It's just that every single time I see him, the wound festers, and I can't stop myself from poking at it.

I'm not normally like this.

Lily gives me a look. "Yeah. Because Silvano is normally a fool and trusts people arbitrarily," she says pointedly. "You need to relax, Knives. Get some of this shit out of your system."

I let out a long sigh and pointedly unclench my fists. "I know. I know, okay? Just… Fuck." I turn to the computer screen. "Tell me you've found something, at least. Anything that will make this whole fucking mission be over faster."

She shakes her head. "I'm good at my job, but I'm not that good. I need more than a few hours to make progress, especially considering the shipment vanished across the fucking country. Maybe if it had made it closer… But no. Fucking Louisiana."

"Is there even anything in Louisiana aside from swamps and mosquitos?" I ask, annoyed. "Am I going to have to ride one of those hover boat things to track down the shipment?"

Lily snorts out a laugh. "I mean… There are people who go to the swamp on purpose. Tourists. You can pretend you're on vacation!"

I shudder at the thought. I've lived in the city all of my life, and the only times I've gone out into the woods have been to help bury a body or two. That was enough. I'd rather not have to traipse through muck or deal with bugs and leeches and alligators.

"Vacations are luxury hotels and nightlife, not rolling around in the mud and coming back with tick and mosquito bites," I grumble.

"Aww, is poor Knives scared of a little mud and a few bugs?" she mocks.

"No, I just don't see the point." I sigh and point to the monitor. "That's not a swamp, at least. That looks more like a highway."

"A highway that runs right along the bayou," Lily says helpfully. "Poor baby." She waves a hand at me. "I need to get to work, and you're distracting me with all the doom and gloom. Go on. Go find someone else to fuck, Knives. Get him out of your system before you get stuck with him."

Somebody else to fuck. That might not be a bad idea, especially if I'm going to be working with Maddox closely in the future. I can't just drag him into a supply closet and fuck him every time.

I should not be doing it at all.

What I need is a distraction. Somebody else to scratch this itch.

I pull up the hook-up app on my phone and start swiping through profiles. There's a cute twink in the area who wants to fuck right now, please, daddy!! , and while I'm not into Daddy kink, I don't mind going along with it if it means an easy fuck.

Lily elbows me. "That was your hint to get out of here."

"I'm going to!" I hold up my phone. "Do you think he can handle me?"

She leers at me. "Yes, Daddy ! Go show him a good time."

"Yep." I get up, but I pause at the door. "You'll let me know as soon as you've found anything, right?"

Her expression is deadpan as she says, "I'll let Maddox know. Just ask him."

I sneer at her. "Don't even joke about that."

Laughing, she turns the monitor back toward her, starting to tap at the keys. "Just did, Romeo. Now get the fuck out of here. I know my company is great and all, but you'll just have to suffer without it."

I shake my head, but I close the door behind me. After telling the twink to expect me, I make my way to his apartment.

When he opens the door, he's wearing a bathrobe and a big grin. "Ooh, you are just as big as your photo made you look, Daddy."

I grunt at him and get closer, crowding him. "Yeah? You like big men, little boy?"

"Very much," he croons, pressing up against me as he shuts the door behind me. "And I like what I see." He takes a step back, then drops the bathrobe, revealing a thin, completely shaved body that I realize I'm in no way attracted to. "Do you like what you see?" he asks coyly.

Compared to Maddox, who's broad-shouldered and fit, the twink is small and skinny. I could probably easily snap him in two. If I grab his wrist, it would probably break from even the slightest bit of force.

But I'm here for a reason, and being attracted to him isn't important. As long as he's got a tight hole, he'll do.

"Yep," I say, grabbing his ass and squeezing. "But maybe you should show me the rest of the goods first. I gotta make sure your little hole can handle me."

He grins at me then turns, bending over and presenting his ass to me. He uses his hands to spread his ass cheeks. "Oh yeah. It can handle even you, Daddy."

He's gone so far as to shave his hole and balls. That's a lot of dedication. Maddox isn't as hairy as I am, but he's got a decent amount of body hair. I like how he looks with it, and I can't imagine him completely shaved.

Fuck, I'm not supposed to be thinking about Maddox right now.

I fondle the twink's balls and push against his hole. "I'm not sure. We'll probably need a lot of lube."

More lube than I'd used with Maddox, that's for sure. I'm not out to completely obliterate some stranger's ass.

All of this makes me remember the other thing I need. I reach into my pocket, my hand closing around a condom.

"I have plenty in my room," he assures me, standing up and grabbing my other hand. "Come on. I'll show you." He gestures through a small but relatively tidy apartment to an open door.

I follow him wordlessly. Once we're in front of the bed, though, I push him down over the side of it. "Let's see if you're as good as your word."

He squirms, letting out a laugh that sounds a little nervous. "Easy, Daddy. I still need to grab the lube."

"Where is it?" I ask him.

He hesitates briefly before pointing to the bedside table, where there's a huge bottle with a pump top. I grab it and head over to him, and he glances warily up at me. "There are condoms over there too." Another nervous laugh. "Though I don't know if they'll fit you!"

"I have a condom," I growl, pumping lube into my hand. "What would you have done if the condoms didn't fit me?" I drive a finger into him to lube him up, drawing a gasp out of him.

"I… I…" He stutters. "I mean… I have a few sizes. It was just a joke…"

I snort and pull my finger out. With my clean hand, I undo my belt and zipper. Pulling my cock out is awkward, and I have to stroke myself a few times to get even half-hard. "You're gonna end up regretting those jokes someday," I say. I roll the condom onto my cock and start lubing up.

"Um." He turns his head to look at me. "You're making me a little uncomfortable," he says, his smile unsteady. "I'll be a good boy for you, Daddy!"

"Uncomfortable?" I grip his hip and line up my cock. "You said you wanted a hard pounding, right now. Didn't you prep yourself in advance?"

"Well, yes, but I like a little more prep," he says. "It's fun, right? Playing around?"

For fuck's sake, he'd been on a hook-up app, and now he's being needy and demanding? I should've known with the daddy kink that he'd want more than to mewl out Daddy and take it hard.

My hand tightens on his hip, and the twink winces. "Hey, not so hard, okay? I'm not into rough play."

I sigh and let go of him. "Forget it. This isn't going to work." I toss the condom into the bedside trashcan and grab a tissue to wipe myself off.

I'm not even hard anymore. Honestly, I don't know if I would have been able to keep it up at all.

"God, fine," he says. "I don't want someone who treats me like shit anyway." He grabs a pair of briefs from nearby. "Just leave."

"Stop using the fucking hook-up apps, then," I say, tucking myself back in. "You're not going to find the nice guys on them."

"Get out!" he snaps. "You don't have to be such a dick."

I storm out, not quite slamming the front door but wishing I had.

Well, fuck. That hadn't done anything to put me in a better mood.

It's still early, and I could still try another hook-up, but…

I know it won't be satisfying at all.

If I can't fuck anyone, in the very least I can fuck them up. I'll head to Club Alpha, the BDSM club Cristiano recommended.

As long as I don't get my cock out, it'll be fine.

I can't compare how they take a lash or a paddle to Maddox since I haven't ever done that to him. I'd fantasized about it, and we'd talked about it, but we'd never gone that far.

And I won't, either. No matter how much the idea makes my cock thrum with arousal.