Chapter 13

W ulfric woke to find Scarlet sprawled limply on his chest, one leg thrown between his. Her petite, little calloused hand lay on his chest, and a faint memory stirred of some other woman long ago. A brunette with bountiful curves had sprawled just like this. She was…

His wife.

His body went stiff as he tried to picture her face. It was fuzzy, but he remembered a beautiful smile and thick hair that smelled of bread.

Sweat beaded his lip, and his breathing grew ragged. Scarlet stirred, and he held still as she nuzzled against his chest and murmured.

His wife must've done the same. It must be what had triggered the memory.

Yes, this contented feeling was definitely familiar. Holy goddess, he'd been married. Was he still married? No, there was no way he would willingly become a Growler if he was leaving behind a wife.

The familiar empty ache in his chest tried to pull him down into the darkness as he tried to remember.

The pain of loss pressed on his chest again, and for the first time in ten years, he understood why. A sudden image of a funeral pyre blazing in a temple seared through his mind, causing his arms to tighten on Scarlet. Pain pulsed through his body, but he fought to suppress any outward signs of distress.

The image of fire triggered a torrent of memories that overwhelmed him, sending bursts of light dancing behind his closed eyelids. The past flooded back in a rush, each one feeling like a slap to the face. He closed his eyes, trying to push them away, but they persisted with a vengeance. His heart raced as he tried to steady his breathing, caught between the agony of the past and the comfort of Scarlet's presence.

The villagers offering their condolences as they all got roaring drunk at the tavern.

Training to be a soldier outside the capital.

The march to war with his friends.

The blood, the death. Battle after battle.

His body shook, and he slowly eased out from underneath Scarlet. She turned on her side and sighed, still asleep.

He lifted a shaky hand and raked it down his face. He paced to the door and back on silent feet. No more images came, and his breathing got easier the more he moved.

Were these the type of memories that the ambushers had had? If so, how had they gotten more memories faster?

Sleeping with his mate couldn't have unlocked the vault on his past, because Brody and his friends weren't mated. His mind ached as he tried to remember every interaction over the past few years. They had all been turned within the last two to five years, compared to his own ten. He'd been alpha for five years now, beta for the two before that. Before becoming a Growler…

Images flew through his mind. Battles. Bars. Women, but with one woman— his wife —featured more than any others.

Damn this Growler side-effect of being turned. When he'd been turned and lost a lifetime of memories, he'd not been prepared for the painful gaping chasm where they'd been stored in his mind. The more he realized he'd lost, the more painful it became.

Perhaps that was why he didn't want to turn Scarlet. He liked her just the way she was, and he definitely didn't want her turning into the same old she-wolves that made up the Growler tribe.

Vicious. Back biting. Sneaky.

He couldn't let that happen to Scarlet. She was his mate, and he had to protect her from them. Protect her like he couldn't protect his wife.

His heart skipped a beat. Damn, he'd had a wife, one that he'd loved… and failed to protect. Rationally, he knew he couldn't stop the fever that had spread through their village. But in his soul, he knew there was more he could've done.

He couldn't let anything like that happen to Scarlet. She mewled in her sleep and turned onto her back. The last streaks of moonlight fell on the bed. A red bite mark around her nipple made him grimace. Guilt hit him like a blow to the head. He'd lost control and bitten her in the heat of the moment. He'd tried so hard to be careful, to keep the wolf caged.

His end of the mate bond was done, wasn't it?

Maybe. He really didn't know enough about the process. Damn it, he needed to talk to the Elders. It was supposed to be such a natural thing, instinctual for animals like them. But he was so worried about hurting her and taking away her choices. She was so independent; losing that would hurt her.

His heart started racing, and the walls closed around him. Carefully, he eased off the bed and walked on silent feet out the door. Slipping down the stairs, his heart pounding in his ears, he pushed open the front door and shifted onto four feet.

The bracing, frigid air was still in the early morning light. Birds chirped in the trees, no longer caring about the Growler in their midst.

The cold seeped under his fur, sharpening his mind. Shit, why hadn't the Elders warned them that fated mates would be this instant, this futile to fight?

He didn't want to fight against it. But admitting he'd had a wife whom he'd loved had forced him to compare the faceless woman to Scarlet.

There was no escaping this. He wanted Scarlet more than his own breath, which currently puffed white into the freezing air. He'd known her for less than a day, yet the Elders had spoken the truth about mates at least. When he knew, he knew. She was his mate, his world.

Frustration welled inside, and he wanted to howl. He refused, instead sucking in an icy breath and jogging around the house in ever widening circles.

Why was he so upset? Was it just because he'd realized some of his past?

His mind tried to search for more of his past but to no avail. It was like the flood had been damned, but there were leaks here and there.

He knew he'd been a soldier, and he'd lost a wife and child. The gnawing loneliness that had left him feeling so empty wasn't just because he was a Growler and had lost sight of who he was as a man.

He remembered feeling like this after his wife died.

The ripping pain in his chest was now a dull and familiar ache. He'd mourned his wife for the past ten years of being a Growler, even if he couldn't remember her. This heartache was as familiar as his own face.

No, this frustration now was because of Scarlet, his beautiful bunny who didn't realize her own power and might. He would do anything for her. If she realized that, would she use it against him?

If she'd been a Growler woman, she would've. But with her unique characteristics, he couldn't be sure.

Either way, he had to get to know her. He had to win her trust and her heart. That mission hadn't changed even though they'd slaked their lust in the dark of night.

He also had nothing to offer her yet. Nothing but a Growler life that she feared and despised.

Thank the gods he'd not lost his mind and turned her by accident during their mating. She would've seen it as yet another curse thrust on her. He needed to speak to the Elders to see what would happen if she never claimed him back. Would he be the only one to die of a broken heart or would it be Scarlet because she rejected him?

When the other two Growlers had refused to mate, they'd both ran in opposite directions. They'd been from different tribes, but the strength of the mate bond had scared them both. Their families had recognized it, tried to convince them both to go to the other.

But they had remained stubborn and separated, and eventually they both wasted away to nothing. The Elders had said the gods had punished them for going against the goddess. When word had come from the other tribe, the Elders said they'd both died within the same hour.

He didn't want Scarlet to die for not claiming him. And if he died, he couldn't protect her. Silently, he sent a prayer to any gods who'd listen, asking for answers...and for Scarlet to claim him back before it was too late.

The gods smiled on those who helped them out, though. He had to convince Scarlet to take a chance on him, and he only had a few more days to do it.

When the full moon rose and broke the bond of the berry, she'd bolt like a deer running for her life.

He lengthened his stride, dodging silently around tree after tree. He needed to eat. If he was going to prove himself as a worthy mate, he needed to feed her too. A plan formed in his mind, and the first stop on the campaign to win her heart was breakfast.

Thankfully, he was fully healed with only a few scratches and scars left of his fight. The light outside grew brighter as he hunted, sniffing out a worthy offering to his mate.

Rabbits wouldn't do. Somehow, he couldn't imagine her eating one of her own kind. Same with deer. What would she want to eat?

It had to be something he could find nearby. He couldn't go too far away or they'd both end up sick. A fresh scent caught in his nose, and he turned to track it.

Two hours later, he trotted back into the clearing with a lynx slung over his back. It was the biggest he could find, and it had almost taken him out. The further he'd gotten from Scarlet, the more his stomach had rebelled and his vision blurred. Weakness had made him stumble, letting the lynx get in a good swipe of the claws.

But he'd triumphed in the end. He shifted with the cracking of bones by the back door, dropping the corpse to the ground. Then he stepped inside to find a knife to finish the job.

Scarlet glanced up, one boot laced up and fire in her eyes as she glared at him from a kitchen chair. "Where have you been?"

His heart pounded at her tone, the ferocity of her expression, and he paused just to soak up her presence. She was such a beautiful vengeful goddess, and she was all his. He wondered if she could see the adoration in his eyes, if she'd take advantage of him in this state. He'd never fallen so easily or so completely.

He froze, remembering his past dead wife. At least, he didn't think he had. Guilt licked his spine, making his frustration come back full-force.

Her eyes scanned up and down his body, and awareness made him grow hot as the memories of the past faded.

She stomped to him, grabbing his arm and turning him this way and that. "Are you hurt? Is this your blood?"

"No, I'm fine. Just a few scratches from our breakfast. Do you like lynx?"

"Of course, I like lynx, but that doesn't excuse you for disappearing."

"Aw, were you worried about me, bunny?"

His lips twitched with a smile, but he knew better than to let her see. So he stepped close and pulled her into his arms.

She scowled, stiff and unyielding. "Not on your life, wolfie. But you heard what Grandma said. We're not supposed to be apart."

She muttered and cursed as she pushed away from him. His chest hurt from the rejection as she stalked to the sink with one shoe on. His precious, fierce fighter was hurting them both by fighting this bond.

Why couldn't she see it and accept him? If she hated Growlers for what they did to her mother, perhaps he'd never be good enough for her. His emotions threatened to choke him at the thought.

Unease slithered along his spine like cold water.

She dunked a rag into the water bowl and rang it out as she spun on her heel. "Imagine my surprise when I woke up alone, feeling like I was being torn in two."

He frowned and stepped toward her. "Are you alright? What happened?"

She punched him in the non-injured shoulder and glared. "It's the fucking tea we drank. You went too far away just like Grandma told us not to do. Didn't you feel it?"

She started to run the wet rag over the bloody streaks on his chest. Her dainty hands made his spine tingle with desire, and his dick lengthened while his tail twitched.

He growled, his hands sliding up her biceps in a caress. "I felt it. It's why I got scratched in the damn hunt. The lynx almost got me when the dizziness hit, but I'm fine. See? The scratches are already closing."

If she was worried about him, perhaps there was hope for them yet.

She harrumphed and scowled up at him, her eyes big and showing her hurt and pain. "Why did you leave? Stupid Growler. If you'd waited, I would've made breakfast. There's more than enough provisions here."

He had to fix this sad look on her face. "I will never leave you again," he murmured, turning and trapping her against the counter once more. He gently tugged her closer, hugging her tight and stroking the back of her head.

"Don't be ridiculous," she whispered, not returning the hug. But at least she wasn't fighting him. At least she melted into his arms and let him hold her. It was like a salve to his soul, being pressed up against her. Some of the heartache and chaos of the morning eased.

His head dipped to nuzzle her neck. "I need to provide for my mate, Scarlet."

"You don't have to take care of me. I can't take care of myself."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to." He ran his nose down the side of her head, avoiding her antlers and nuzzling her jaw.

"Oh really?" Her words were a breathless whisper, her tone softening from anger to desire. As he kissed along her neck, she tilted her head back and let out a sigh of surrender. Her hands gripped his back, pulling him closer.

"Really." He continued kissing, moving up to her earlobe where he gently tugged on it with his teeth. She shivered in response, and the intensity of their connection deepened.

"I want to take care of you, but it's more than just a normal want. It's something deeper, something I can't ignore or deny. I might want wild blackberries, but if I don't have them, I'll be fine. What I feel with you is so much more."

She shuddered, and he tugged on her ear with his teeth. "More?"

"This bond between us is like a fire burning deep within me," he confessed hoarsely. "I need to provide for you, protect you, worship every inch of your body." As he spoke, his lips traced down the column of her neck and over her collarbone, igniting new sparks of desire within them both.

"Oh," she said, breathless. "What are you going to do about it?" The hint of challenge in her tone was unmistakable, and it sent a thrill through him.

"Going to woo my mate, for starters" he said, nipping down the side of her neck. "Do you think talking about a deep, aching need will make your pussy weep for me?"

She gasped, her hands spasming in his hair. "Nope, not going to happen."

He chuckled and ground his hips into hers, making her mouth drop open. He licked her bottom lip. "Are you sure, love? It's so cold outside, and I've been gone for hours. Help me warm up, bunny."

Her lips sought his, but he just peppered soft, short kisses to her bottom lip, her jaw. Her hands fisted on his back.

"Damn it… fine, but no biting. This doesn't mean I accept the mate bond."

His chest grew tight at her words, but he swooped to take her mouth in a bruising kiss. Too late for biting on his part. As soon as the thought came, it flew away. He swept inside, stealing her soul and trying to fan the flames.

Her hands settled on his chest as her knees buckled. He pressed her against the counter, his mouth sucking gently on her jugular. He could almost taste the blood flowing through her veins, and he felt his incisors grow.

The need to bite her neck while exploding inside her was quickly becoming something he couldn't ignore.

He had to show her all he could offer, convince her that there was no living without him.

He let his hands shift and shredded her pants, spinning her around. "Hands on the counter," he growled as he sank to his knees.

She did one better, pulling her knee up and laying her lower leg on the counter too. He growled in approval, "Fuck, yes."

Then he pulled her cheeks apart and licked up her dripping slit. He growled as the nectar flowed like honey on his tongue. "You little liar. You're definitely dripping."

"Shut up and suck my clit," she panted.

He chuckled. "Happy to oblige."

Slowly, he lapped at her pussy, twirled his tongue around her clit, then shifted his tongue to lengthen it and slide it as deep as it could go. He took a finger and circled her clit, adding pressure until she groaned.

His mouth worked its magic on her until she was moaning and thrusting her ass back against him. When she began to chant, "Oh gods," he knew it was time.

He stood and thrust his cock into her, pushing slowly but steadily into the tightest vise-like grip. She was so narrow, it was almost painful to work his way inside. His lip beaded with sweat as he held her hips, claws digging into her soft flesh and mouth shifting into a wolf's jaw.

He flexed, focusing on receding his claws and controlling his wolf until his dick was fully sheathed inside her pussy.

He pulled out, then plunged into her wet heat, a scalding hotness that gripped him, milked him, welcomed him completely. He withdrew again, then rammed himself home. His body, hard and primal against hers, released the beast within him.

He fucked her hard and fast like the animal he was. Hard, rough strokes matched the pounding of his heartbeat. He took her with a pounding need and driving hunger he'd never felt before. The tension built quickly as the pulsing root of his cock surged within her. It called to the most animal part of him, driving him to claim her. His body began to shift and his knot rubbed against her opening with each thrust.

Blind to all else, he no longer had control over his baser instincts. She grew tighter, her gasps shallower, and his vision blurred with the need to bite her.

Fangs at her shoulder, blood flooded his mouth like ambrosia. Like before, the bite triggered her release. She screamed and thrashed under him. Her body jerked and shivered. Quivering waves rippled up and down his shaft, and he tried to hold back.

His vision swam as her body clenched and writhed around him. He couldn't fight the orgasm any longer. His balls tightened in response to her quivering muscles. He came in a rush of hot, salty seed, exploding as he coated her core. No woman had ever felt so good, so perfect. He knew that down into his soul, even if he didn't have the memories to confirm it.

She was his everything, his entire world. He stayed inside, letting her body milk him, but he pulled his teeth from her flesh. He licked the bite clean, pulling back to watch as the punctures closed over.

He felt her knees buckle, so he pulled her back against him and swept her into his arms. He took her back up the stairs, her shredded pants falling to the floor and dragging, caught on her one boot. When he tucked her into bed, her head lolled, making him smile. She was back to sleep, and all was as it should be.

He pulled the blanket over her to keep her warm, then went to make breakfast like he'd originally intended. He would take care of his mate, and soon she would accept the mate bond. He just knew it. She was already falling for him, otherwise she wouldn't have been so worried about his disappearance earlier.

He grinned while he skinned the lynx and prepped the meat. It was going to be a great day.