Chapter 33

Chapter

Thirty-Three

At breakfast a week later, Zed pulls up a chair and shows me his phone. I sigh. "I'm eating. Can't we do this later?"

"We could. I was going to tell you—" He scoots the chair back and gets up. "Never mind. You're right. We'll chat later."

I stab my fork into a pancake, glaring at Piper, who's poking me with the end of her spoon, before turning to Zed. "Stop. Tell me."

"Are you sure? I don't want to spoil your meal." He pastes an innocent look on his face that he likely perfected when he was five. "Are those chocolate chip pancakes?"

Zed reaches over to snag a piece. I poke him with my fork.

"Sit back down and spill." I pop a particularly chocolatey piece of pancake in my mouth.

He smiles smugly and pulls out his phone again. Tapping the screen, he shows me my dashboard. "Notice anything different? "

I study the screen, chewing slowly. Swallowing, I shake my head. "Nope."

"In the corner," Piper says, pointing.

I follow her finger and see a pink badge with PA, which I assume to stand for Pleasure Academy, in fancy white font. "Is that supposed to mean something?"

He gives a defeated sigh. "You really should've tuned in before coming here. That," he says, pointing to the badge, "means your follower count is over one hundred thousand."

Holy shit.

"You, my dear, are a very popular Novice, second only to Marcus, who sits at two-hundred-fifty thousand."

I put my fork down, suddenly full. "What exactly am I supposed to do with this information?"

He shrugs. "You don't have to do anything."

"In other words, I could do something. And why would I want to?"

Zed leans around me to look at Piper. "She's so naive it's maddening. Please enlighten her."

Piper laughs, takes the phone, and clicks on the follower tab to illustrate her point. "For every hundred thousand followers, you get an extra ten grand when your year is up. Basically, it's an incentive."

Pages and Pastries. Ten thousand dollars for every hundred thousand. I'd double the money for my bookshop if I got a million followers. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing. Anything." Zed takes his phone back and grabs a slice of bacon from my plate. "It's up to you."

With that cryptic reply, he walks away, leaving my head buzzing with possibilities. Piper says something, but it's white noise. A hundred thousand people watch all the crazy shit I do? I'm becoming Smutty Kardashian. Wait, is there already a smutty one? Who the fuck knows.

"Eden," Piper says loudly.

"What?"

"Don't stress about it. Just keep doing what you're doing."

It's good advice. And yet… and yet I could try to increase that number. I could go for the million. I need to talk to Lily. She keeps tabs on all of my antics and would have ideas to toss around. Mumbling an excuse to leave the table, I race upstairs and hop on my computer.

I've got about twenty minutes before Zed hunts me down and drags me to coconut harvesting. It's literally what it sounds like. I walk through the grounds with a wheelbarrow and pick up coconuts that will be used by the kitchen staff. Sure, I get to eat the fruits of my labor, but walking around in the buff picking up giant nuts leaves my thighs chafed and my back sore. The last time I was assigned the task, Nick showed up, grabbed two coconuts, and held them between his legs while doing his best John Wayne impression.

I send a quick email to Lily, drumming my fingers on the desk and hoping she replies before I have to go. Ten minutes go by, and I'm spinning in my chair when a message pops up.

Holy shit! 100k? OMG! Eden, go for a million. Do it! Do it all! Do it for Frodo!

~Lil y

For Frodo. That's our thing. Whenever something feels insurmountable, we tough it out because that's what Frodo would do. I hit reply.

For Frodo.

I'm not the one who starts coconut basketball, but I'm certainly the one who ends it. If I were petty, I'd blame Marcus for passing the ‘ball' and cheering me on as I went for the slam dunk, which is a total misnomer when the net is a wheelbarrow. But me being me, I take his advice to heart and slam that motherfucker into the net, sending the coconut bouncing off the pile, out of the wheelbarrow, and onto the foot of a passing Acolyte.

Cue wrangling Eden to the ground when she bolts, then sending her to the stocks. At least Marcus has the decency to look sheepish when I glare at him from the hands of Zed and two other squires.

The stocks are in a prime location, complete with a paddle and flogger, for anyone who wants to spice things up.

"This is bullshit," I grumble to Zed. "It was an accident for fuck's sake!"

"Your proclivity for finding trouble amazes me."

"What can I say? I'm gifted." I sigh and drop my head. "Come on, Zed. Give me a break."

He pulls out his phone. "Now, why would I do that when your followers enjoy your punishments?" Zed frowns when he sees my hand unclench, my middle finger slowly rising. "Don't."

I look at him with defiance and give everyone watching the bird. At least, I assume that's what I'm doing. For all I know, the camera capturing my current state is pointed at my ass. I have a sudden vision of Monty Python and consider farting in the audience's general direction. But even I won't go that far.

WWFD?

Frodo probably wouldn't flip off one hundred thousand people. I let out a long sigh. Being in the stocks doesn't last forever. I can do this with some dignity.

And I would have if Scarlett hadn't come along. A gag and my squire with his arms folded across his chest later, Darien rounds the corner to complete the picture of this total farce. I whine behind my gag when he strokes my hair and asks Zed what I did this time.

He chuckles at the retelling and crouches in front of me. "You do keep things interesting."

I give him my most pathetic puppy eyes.

Darien speaks to Zed, who releases me with a warning look. I show all my teeth in a huge smile that promises nothing. He mouths one hundred thousand, to which I shrug, but the nonchalance is more show than anything. He's right. I need to go from kink to KINK and aim for the cool million.

And that's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow morning, Zed and I will talk. We'll have a candid conversation, and I'll ask to revisit my consent list. It's time to spice it up. We're going to go from chili to ghost pepper, baby!

Ten months left, nine hundred thousand to go. I can do this and have a hell of a fun time while I'm at it. Eden Banks, Novice, will make her mark on the Island of Kinkdom!

I'm going to do it.

For all the book dragons and pastry lovers.

For all the curvy girls.

For Frodo.