24. Johnny

After a few days of working in Hidden Valley, I get into a rhythm of going there either early in the morning or very late in the evening, depending on their other staffing and my therapy schedule. When I get my first paycheck and can buy groceries, I feel capable—like I'm actually pulling my weight for once. I realize that's barely a drop in the bucket compared to everything Kurt has spent on me, but … it's not nothing.

One afternoon, I walk into the house after I'm done for the day feeling kinda beat. I look for Kurt, but he ain't in the kitchen or great room. Maybe he's at work in his home office, and I shouldn't disturb him. I need a shower, though. I walk up the stairs into the bedroom and stop short.

Kurt's lying on our bed with his shirt rucked up and his hand on his cock, his laptop propped next to him on the duvet.

And I recognize the soundtrack. Because it's my voice saying to someone—have to remember who—"Bring that hard cock over here, darlin'."

Holy crap. He's watching my porn.

Maybe I should be weirded out, but it's the opposite. I watch his strong hand fist his cock, his dark blue pants down around his ankles, and I get turned on like I haven't been in a while.

Just when I know he's getting to a good part, I clear my throat, and he freezes. "Shit, you scared me!" he hisses.

"Oh, don't let me interrupt," I say, raising an amused eyebrow. "This is mighty entertaining."

He's beet red. "I'm so fucking embarrassed. Oh my god."

"Don't be. This is in-person feedback on my work." I come closer. "Keep going."

When I see myself on the screen, I usually feel separated from it. Like, that's Velvet. I'm just Johnny.

Right now, though, I'm taking in Kurt's nude form and having very interesting thoughts.

We've fooled around a bit since I came back from the hospital, but not much. He's a very beautiful man, though, and seeing him like this makes me wanna do more.

"What if I do what I'm doing in the video to you?" I ask slowly. Which is rather cheeky, since Kurt and I haven't gone further than a few hand jobs and a quick blow job or two.

Kurt bites his lip, and I can tell he's tempted but doesn't want to say yes for some reason. Probably because I told him sometimes I'm not in the mood.

"We don't have to," I whisper. "But you look so sexy right now that if you're up for it, I am."

He'd paused the video and thrown a blanket over his lap when I first spoke. He's still lying there, body tense. "Okay," he says after a moment. "Please, I want to see you naked." There's an edge of desperation in his voice that I appreciate. I take off my shirt, and Kurt eyes me hungrily.

"I'm covered in dust," I say. "Give me two minutes?"

He nods.

I strip hastily and speed walk into the bathroom to take the fastest shower ever. When I'm done, I return, still trying to dry myself with the towel. "Take off your own clothes," I order, "all the way."

He hurries to comply.

I'm going to kiss his mouth before I kiss his cock, even though his cock is right there, waiting to be sucked. I straddle him, cradle his chin, and kiss him softly.

Kurt deserves some sweetness. He deserves to have things not be so difficult all the time. He deserves to be treated with affection. I can bring the heat, but I think Kurt may need something more. Something different.

One kiss morphs into another and another, neither of us wanting to stop. I'm holding his face in gentle fingers, but he's now tugging my ass to him.

And my skin feels tingly in a way it hasn't in a long time. My heartbeat's quickening, and my pulse is in my throat—in a good way. It feels this way when I hear a beautiful song or see a horse galloping, strong and free.

When I'm moved.

I almost sob—I'm finally feeling a big emotion other than sadness. Kurt's kisses are affecting me in a way I didn't expect, and I can't complain about it at all.

His cock's hard between us, and as a connoisseur, I can attest that while it's not the biggest, it's truly lovely. A bit of a curve, which I think is mighty fine. It's sticking straight out from him like a javelin buried in the ground.

I run my fingers down his throat. "Want me?" I murmur against his lips.

"Yeah." His voice sounds husky.

"Good."

I suck on his lower lip. "Look how beautiful you are, baby. Damn."

Kurt blushes. How often does he hear praise? And more importantly, how often does he get attacked? By his political opponents, by members of the public who don't understand what a treasure he is, how lucky they are that he'd even consider working on their behalf.

I trace a hand down Kurt's bare chest. He's got a dusting of hair across his pecs, and I scratch my nails through it, then down to his happy trail.

He rumbles like a purring cat, relaxing his arms by his sides and exposing his whole body for my exploration. I'm enjoying this: lazy, naked, get-to-know-you time.

I linger on his arms, letting my fingers trail up and down, up and down, watching as the fine hairs rise and stand on end.

His eyes are closed, but he smiles. "That feels so good," he slurs. He reaches out for me, but I tsk.

"Let me," I say. And he obeys, putting his hand back on the bed. "Good boy," I whisper, and his cheeks flush.

Interesting.

"Do you know how handsome you are?" I continue, playing with my theory that he likes to be praised. My lips follow the pattern my fingers began. Kissing his upper bicep, then down, into the inside of his elbow, along his forearm. When I get to his palm, I drop an open-mouthed kiss there, then take his thumb into my mouth.

His cock is stiff against my thigh. I suck hard on his thumb, then draw back and do the same thing to his index finger.

Kurt moans. "Fuck, that feels good. Why does that feel so good?"

I'm busy sucking on his middle finger now, so my answer's a shrug. I move so one of my legs is between his and his cock is pressing against my hip bone. I keep going, sucking on his ring finger. I pause for a moment to spin the ring on that finger with my other hand, then keep going to his pinkie.

"It's like you're giving me five blow jobs," he whines.

"Are you complaining?" I say, my voice guttural.

"Absolutely not." Kurt arches into me, and I take pity on him, stroking his cock, using his precome to smooth the way.

"Fuck," he moans again. "Please. More."

"Be patient, like the good boy you are." I watch for his reaction, and yes, he stills, letting me have his body as a playground. I smile against his collarbone as I kiss my way across his chest, aiming for his other arm.

He reaches a tentative hand up to stroke my side, and I let him. Damn, this is so sensual. It's slow, patient, attentive. I kiss the pulse point under his neck, then kiss down his arm, repeating what I did on his other side, including sucking his fingers one by one.

When he's wriggling under me, I push his legs farther apart and settle between them, then continue my slow torture down his torso. I linger on each nipple, licking and sucking until he's groaning with every breath.

Then I kiss down the middle, and when I finally, finally get to his cock, I dart out my tongue to taste his precome. He shudders, and that does something to me. Because he's not acting. He's not exaggerating his responses for the camera.

This is just him and me. This is real.

I glance up from between his legs, and he's gazing down at me with an expression that's nothing short of adoration. A warm bubble in my chest expands, and I grin at him. "More?" I'm teasing, but his need is intoxicating.

"Yes. More. Please."

"I love it when you can only say one-syllable words." Without waiting for a response, I swallow him down, and he arches off the bed.

"Mmmfhgh."

I give him a good hard suck and then pop off to ask, "You wanna come this way?"

He nods urgently. I pretend to think about it, just to see his reaction, and he doesn't disappoint. "Please, Johnny."

"Since you're so good." I kiss the tip of his hard cock, then engulf him in my mouth again, swallowing repeatedly around him.

"Sweet hell."

I keep going, deciding not to torment him further. I like his O-face. I buckle down, devoting myself to bringing him to orgasm. Letting myself deep-throat him as much as I can—which is quite a bit—and not backing off until he's coming with a shout.

Sucking him even while he's returning to earth, I slow down, cradling his cock in my mouth. He reaches down and runs his fingertips through my hair. "Oh my god, that was amazing."

A low chuckle rumbles from my chest. I suck a final time, then pull back onto my knees.

He looks debauched. There's no other word. His hair is bedhead sexy, and his brow is shiny with sweat. He's panting, and his cheeks are flushed. Instead of saying anything, he hooks his ankles under my armpits, pulling me up for a kiss.

I comply readily and enthusiastically. "Such a good boy," I whisper when we pause, and I look at him. "Do you like it when I say that?"

Kurt stiffens, then bites his lip and nods. "Yeah."

"Then I'll be glad to keep doing it."

"Please." He gives me a sly grin. "Can I return the favor?"

I scurry to the side so fast that he laughs. I lie on my back and flop my arms out. "Be my guest, darlin'. Do whatever you want."

Kurt licks his lips. "God, you're beautiful."

I blink. I'm used to talk like that as part of a scene, but that's acting. It's meaningless. He's being sincere. "Thank you. You are, too."

Kurt pounces then, straddling me and kissing me, and I kiss him back. "What do you want me to do?" he whispers against my neck.

"Touch me. Lord, please," I groan. I'm not faking my enthusiasm, either. His touch lights up my skin, and just being around him makes me … happy.

It's been so long since I've been happy, but I'm starting to remember that I used to be that way. Before …

I shudder. Best not to think about that.

"You okay?" Kurt asks.

I yank myself back into the moment. "With you? Never better." I just went a long time without any crappy thoughts. Hallelujah.

He crawls down my body and lowers his mouth to my cock, then hesitates, looking at it. It's intimidating. That's not bragging, it's just a fact.

"You don't have to perform, darlin'," I tell him. "Just do what you like, and it'll feel good."

Kurt swallows and then opens his mouth, sucking in my tip.

"Oh, bless, that's good," I say. He's got the suction right, the location right, his tongue is massaging the underside of the head just right.

I put a hand in his hair, just gentle, like petting a cat. "I like you down there, servicing my cock. You're so good at it, and you're so beautiful. Having you—oh Lord," I say, as he gets in an extra-good suck. "Yeah, precious boy, you've got that down. Oh, damn. So good. Oh, baby, yes."

I can tell he's pleased by the relaxed but determined set of his shoulders. He uses his hands to massage my balls and press into my taint, and then he starts jacking me. He's choking on my cock—but, again, determined.

"Look at you. You're amazing," I say, all warm inside.

This man. How was I lucky enough to find him? He's so in tune with what I like, and whether that's intuitive, or he's paying attention, or he really studied my videos, I don't much care. All I know is that he's sucking me in a way that feels fresh and new and so damn pleasurable.

"You keep that up, I'll come," I say. "You wanna make me come right now? Or do you want to just keep my cock in your mouth?"

"You don't wanna come?" Kurt asks. His lips are swollen, and his hair is messy, and I love it.

"I do, but I also like having your mouth on me."

He tilts his head. "I notice that you don't come as often as I do. Do you think that's because of the …" He gestures at my head. "Depression?"

"Could be."

"Do you think you'd feel better if you did come?"

I bite my lip. "Right now, what I want most of all is to be close to you. I don't feel the need to finish." My erection's flagging as we talk. "I guess maybe I am having issues with it? Maybe the meds are messing with me. All I know is I crave having your body next to mine. And your mouth on me is a big bonus."

"And I like having something to do that keeps me from thinking about all the shit going on in my life."

"Then warm my cock, baby. Let's take a little nap, and you can suckle on me while you sleep." It's early evening, but we've been going a long time, and we were both up before the sun this morning.

His eyes widen, and I wonder if I've gone too kinky for him. But then I realize he's excited.

I prop some pillows behind my back and sit up, and Kurt curls up by my side and takes me into his mouth. I'm still about half-hard, and his tongue and lips feel amazing.

"You make me feel like I don't have to perform," I whisper.

His eyes widen and he pulls off enough to say, "You never have to perform with me."

"Thanks," I whisper. He suckles on me, and I groan, running my fingers through his hair. "Precious boy, you keep this up, and I may never be able to let you go."

He sighs happily, and we fall silent.

Eventually, he stops sucking, and I realize he's fallen asleep with my cock in his mouth, just as I suggested. I cover him with the blanket and fall asleep myself.

I love this. There's another thought behind that, a bigger one, but I let it slip away before it can scare away this moment of peace.