Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

MILLER

He was saying everything right. Every single thing I'd ever wanted to hear, but it scared the hell out of me.

Because if this ended badly, I wasn't sure I'd survive it.

So while I felt like I was being handed the winning lotto numbers, this could cost me everything.

We got cleaned up and dressed and inhaled the first few slices of pizza in silence. It wasn't awkward, it was just both of us getting everything right in our heads first.

"So," he began, sitting back on the sofa, sipping his water. "I can think straight now, at least..." Then his gaze darted to mine and he winced. "Straight's probably not the right word to start off this conversation with."

I laughed and wiped my hands on a napkin, sitting back like he was. "Wow. You haven't made a straight joke since I came out to you."

"I didn't mean . . . I just . . . I'm trying to choose my words carefully."

I gave him a smile and a nudge. "Since when have you ever not said exactly what you're thinking? Just say whatever's on your mind, Brody."

"Well, you know. Labels are... weird. I don't know what it means or what this"—he gestured between us—"makes me."

"You don't have to use a label. Not everyone does. Some folks appreciate the understanding it gives them; some folks don't like the boxed-in feeling."

"I'm not gay."

"I know that. Your history of bedded women speaks for itself. All I'm saying is that if you liked what we did, then maybe?—"

"I ain't bi, either."

Okaaaaay.

I put my hands up. "Okay. Fine. It's fine, Brody. You don't need to explain. I was just trying to help?—"

"Shut up and listen to me. I'm trying to get this out." He winced again. "Sorry, sorry. It's just a lot, and I don't know what the fuck it means. I don't like men. I can see when a guy's hot, sure. But I have no desire to take him home. I have no desire whatsoever to initiate anything with a guy. I don't care how he looks at me or what he offers."

Okay . . .

"Have other men offered?—"

He pulled at his hair. "Ugh, maybe, I don't even know. They were never on my radar. But I like you . Not men. Not guys, not any other man on this planet. But you. I desire you," he said again, gesturing to me with both hands. "I don't know why. I can't explain it. But you . I see you, and I want to touch you, I want to kiss you, I want to do things to you. I want to push you up against a wall and feel you surrender to me. I want to do incredible things to you..."

Oh.

Oh, holy fucking shit.

He was saying the most amazing things. Everything I'd ever dreamed he'd say. But he looked so distraught and vulnerable, it hurt to see.

I closed the distance between us and took his hand. "Hey."

"I don't want to lose you, Miller. I don't want to ruin what we have," he said. "You're my best friend. You're the only person who knows me, who gets me. I can be myself around you. I can touch you and hold you, and maybe it'd be even better if I could kiss you whenever I want to. And other things, maybe. Definitely. But you. I want to be with you. I want to take you out on dates, cuddle on the couch watching your terrible TV shows. Your mom loves me, and my mom loves you more than she loves me. And that's fine. I get it. So yeah, I want things between us to change, but to stay the same, just get better."

I laughed and pulled him in for a tight, soul-fixing hug. "I've waited my whole life to hear you say that to me," I murmured. "God, Brody. My whole life, all I ever wanted was you. My straight best friend that I could never have."

He pulled back, his eyes on mine. "Your whole life what?"

I laughed. "Since the day we met, the only person I've ever loved is you."

His expression grew mildly concerned. "I was fourteen and had pimples and braces."

I snorted. " We were fourteen with pimples and braces."

His eyes searched mine. "You mean that?"

"Eleven years," I whispered. "I've pined over you, loving you from afar, brokenhearted every time you dated anyone new."

He frowned. "Oh, Miller. I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Is that what you meant when you said ‘let me have this' when I asked if you wanted to slow down?"

I managed a nod. "Eleven years I'd dreamed of that."

He sighed sadly. "I had no idea."

"I know you didn't." I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I had to know. "Do you mean it now? Do you mean what you said about wanting me? Because I won't survive it if it's just a phase or a whim. My heart can't take another hurt from you."

He shook his head, his eyes wide. "I mean it. Miller, baby, I mean it. I was scared to tell you. I thought you might say no..." He frowned. "I noticed these last few months you'd been distant, and it scared me. That light in your eyes when you'd look at me was gone, and it scared the shit outta me. Maybe it made me realize that I'd taken you for granted all these years, and the thought of not having you made me look at what you truly are to me. That maybe I did need you to be more. That I wanted you in my life, that my heart needed you, wanted you, and maybe I'd been blind this whole time."

"Brody," I whispered.

"I couldn't lose you, Mills. And then I started to have feelings about losing you, and how much I missed being around you, and being able to touch you. And then I started to think a lot about touching you, and then it was all I could think about. Then it wasn't just touching..." He grimaced. "I'm sorry. That's a terrible thing to say. But I kept having inappropriate thoughts about what I wanted to do to you, and it was a first for me, lemme tell ya. I was weirded out, not gonna lie. Because it was you, my best friend. I shouldn't have been thinking of you like that. But it wouldn't go away. And then it wasn't weird anymore because it was hot." He shrugged. "And then I had the chance to bring you here. A weekend away. Just you and me. Where I could maybe make sense of my head, and where it wouldn't feel like you were leaving me."

I put my hand to his face. "I was leaving you, Brody," I admitted quietly. "I was trying to put some distance between us because I couldn't take it anymore. I was heartsore, and I hated myself for loving a guy who could never love me the way I needed him to."

"But I can," he said, his eyes full of hope. "I do love you, Miller. As my best friend, but more than just that. You're my person and the person I want to be with. I don't care that you're a guy."

I laughed. "Uh, thanks?"

"I know I'm probably not explaining it right." He took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to mine. "I want to be with you, Miller. As your boyfriend, as your partner. Hell, I'll drive through the Elvis Chapel with you right now if that's what you want. I mean, we've been married all weekend and it's been kinda fun."

I snorted because he was joking. Surely.

He sighed, his eyes searching mine. "I love you, Miller. I want us to be together. I need you to believe me."

"I want to believe you," I whispered. "I've spent the last eleven years dreaming of this, so please understand why I have a hard time thinking this is real. Or that you could possibly know what it means to me."

"I know what it means," he whispered. "And I'll happily spend every day of forever proving it to you."

My heart was thumping so hard it hurt. So full, so happy.

Then he made a face, his cheeks pink. "Now, I know how to do a lot of things, but there are some things I'll need you to teach me." He winced. "Intimate things. I want to do them all," he quickly added. "God, I want to do everything. What we've done so far has been... well, hotter than hell. I mean, it's new and different, but holy fuck, Mills. I never knew it could be like this. And maybe it's because I have feelings for you. Because I do love you. Maybe that's why it's so intense with you. It's never been like this with anyone because I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

So maybe he was more demisexual than bi, but that was something for a later conversation.

I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him softly, my heart hammering that I could actually kiss him. "It's okay. I'll teach you."

He kissed me back, soft and warm. "Teach me how to love you," he murmured. "In every way, so you never want for anything, Miller. I want to be everything for you."

I closed my eyes. "You already are." I slid my hand down his back and pulled our hips together and kissed him, deeper this time. I let his tongue invade my mouth, and we fell back onto the sofa, him on top of me, between my legs, my arms tight around him. It wasn't hurried; it wasn't the heated passion from earlier. This was a recognition of everything we'd just said.

He was showing me his sincerity.

He certainly wasn't weirded out by being with a guy, and he was pressing against me in all the right places. I slowed the kiss to a stop. "So," I said, looking into his eyes. "Those things you want me to teach you, the things you imagined doing to me..." I couldn't help but smile. "Wanna tell me what they were?"

He chuckled, embarrassed, ducking his head into my neck. "Hm, I seem to remember you saying you loved your neck kissed." So, of course he sucked and kissed my neck, sending shivers of pleasure through me.

I gripped his hair and pulled the strands, making him groan as his mouth found mine again. Things were starting to heat up when he pulled back, a pained expression on his face. "I didn't bring any condoms."

I scoffed. "Whoa. Moving pretty fast there. Is that what you dream about?"

His face burned red, but his eyes scanned mine. "Well, yeah. I want to do that. I keep thinking about what it would be like to sink into you and?—"

"Oh my god," I blurted. But my dick twitched, and my balls drew down.

"Is that . . . is that not what you . . . ? Oh god, I'm sorry, I?—"

I laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. "It's fine. Just unexpected. And fast. For what it's worth, yes, I want that. I want that very much, but maybe we could work up to that?"

His grin was sheepish. "Oh, of course. Sure. Good idea."

He began to pull back off me so I grabbed him, pulling him right back. "I never said we were done. We have all night. Unless you wanna head downstairs to the casino. We haven't tried our luck at anything."

He grunted, kissing me hard before he whispered, "I already won the jackpot, Mills. I have a lot to learn and a lot of time to make up. If you're gonna teach me, I wanna start tonight."

My laughter died in my throat when he rolled his hips.

I gave him two lessons that night. Frottage, which he clearly loved, and me sucking his glorious cock. Which he also loved.

The rest of the pizza went cold, and Vegas partied long into the night without us.

I had no regrets, and from the way Brody couldn't stop grinning at lunch—because we'd slept right through breakfast—I could assume neither did he.

Or when we were in the lobby checking out, he took his phone and FaceTimed his mom. "Hey," he said, not caring that the lobby was full of people.

"Oh hi, love," she replied, her smiling face filling the screen. "Your dad's right here. Where's Miller?"

He turned the phone to show me, but then he pulled me in close, kissing me right in front of her before he grinned at her again. "Mom, we have some news!"

Okay then.

He was not being shy. He really was serious about this...

She squealed, then nudged his dad. "You owe me twenty bucks."

Brody stopped smiling. "Huh?"

His dad's face filled the screen. "Goddammit, Brody. You cost me twenty bucks."

He blinked. "Uh, I'm sorry, what?"

"Your mom bet me twenty bucks that you and Miller would... well, you know, one day you'd pull your head out of your ass and realize that boy loves you?—"

"Oh my god," Brody said.

"Oh my god," I said, embarrassed, stunned. "Thank you, Mr. Molina."

Brody looked at me. "They had a bet on me."

I snorted.

Mrs. Molina's face reappeared. "You can tell me all about it when you get back."

Well, not all about it.

Mr. Molina leaned in. "Don't forget, Brody, next weekend you said you'd help me prune the trees in the backyard. Bring your boyfriend, two for the price of one. Easiest twenty bucks I ever spent."

"Oh my god," Brody said again.

"He doesn't mean it," his mom said. Then she waved. "I'm happy for you boys, finally! Okay, I can see you're busy. Let me know when you get back, and we'll see you both soon!" Then her hand appeared. "Now, how do I turn this off...?"

Brody hit the End button. "They could have acted surprised," he grumbled.

I laughed. "They took it well."

"They had a bet on me!"

Then Carina appeared like a genie in a puff of smoke. There was no photographer this time, thankfully. "How was your weekend? I trust you had a good time."

I looked at Brody and he smiled at me. "Best weekend ever," he said.

God, the way he looked at me made my heart thump. "The best."

"We, uh, we didn't see much of Vegas though, sorry," Brody said, grimacing, blushing.

She laughed, guessing all too well why we didn't get out much. "Just so you know, follow your hashtag on our social media page. Lots of pics from the pool party yesterday."

Oh great.

"Awesome," I said, trying to smile. "I think?"

She laughed. "Oh, believe me, you'll love them." Then she looked at us both. "So how will you settle into married life when you get back? It's all so new, right?"

Newer than she realized.

"Slowly," I replied.

"But surely," Brody added, sliding his hand into my back pocket and squeezing my ass.

"Off to the airport now?" she asked.

"Yes, we kinda slept in, so we should go. Don't wanna miss our flight." I shook her hand. "Thank you for everything. It's been... amazing."

"It sure has," Brody agreed. "Life-changing, even."

We said our goodbyes and made it to the airport just in time to board the plane. We fell into our seats, and Brody was soon scrolling through his phone.

He'd found the photos from the pool party that Carina had mentioned, and he saved a lot of them.

Pics of us dancing, of us kissing, of him with his hands on me.

They were hot, not gonna lie.

Then he began loading the photos into a post on his Instagram.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Gonna get this over with right now," he said. "Saves telling everyone separately, right? Also helps that my phone is about to be in Airplane Mode for an hour, so..."

I chuckled. "If you're ready, then sure."

His eyes met mine. "I am." He hit Post, and the comments began rolling in.

Finally.

OMG finally.

About fucking time, Brody.

Yes! Looking hot, guys... also about time, Brody, you dumbass.

He made a face at his phone. "Your sister just called me a dumbass." Then he looked at me. "Have I been that oblivious?"

I laughed. "Uh, maybe."

My phone beeped with message after message, but I didn't even look.

We turned our phones off and he took my hand, thumbing the ring on my wedding finger. Then he looked at his own fake wedding ring. "Not sure I wanna take mine off," he murmured. "I know it's not real, but maybe we could wear them on our right hands until we decide to do it for real."

My gaze cut to his. "Brody."

"I told you I mean it. I've never been surer. Everyone in our lives seems to have known this but me. I feel like an idiot. And I feel even worse for stringing you along for so long."

Oh, damn.

Then his whole face brightened. "We can come back here, anytime you want, and get hitched by Elvis."

"Do you think our mothers would ever let us do that?"

"Probably not. But it's Vegas, so . . ."

I took the ring off my left hand and slipped it onto his right hand, then took his off his left and put it on my right. "When we're ready, we'll do it for real. Without Elvis."

He grinned. "Deal." He spent a few long seconds looking at my ring on his finger.

"Regret, anticipation, or what the fuck?" I asked.

His eyes met mine. "Regret I didn't realize sooner, anticipation for what's next, and what the fuck did you do with your tongue last night because it's all I can think about."

I laughed, still not believing that any of this was real. "You know, when we were on the plane coming here, I remember thinking this whole weekend would have its own chapter in the book of the stupidest shit I'd ever done."

He stared at me and blinked. "And now?"

"The stupidest," I said with a smile. "And without a doubt, the best."

He leaned over and kissed me. "The very best."

"You know, we never even placed a bet all weekend."

"Nope. Mighta helped if we'd got out of bed occasionally," he said. Then he lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles. "I still won the jackpot though."

I laughed. He's so cheesy and ridiculously sweet.

But I'd been losing this game for eleven years, and now, after rolling the dice one last time, I'd finally won. I still couldn't believe it was real. I met his gaze and saw nothing but love looking back at me. "Dunno. Pretty sure that jackpot's mine."

~The End