Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

MILLER

There was a look in Brody's eyes I'd never seen before. A jumbled mix of determination, pain, and desire.

I wasn't too surprised when he kissed me. We'd talked about it, after all. But I was surprised by the intensity.

I was surprised by how hot it was and how much he seemed to want it.

This was no practice kiss.

I was even more surprised when he slid his tongue into my mouth.

Hot, demanding, deep.

The jolt of desire, of the thrill, shot through every cell in my body. I tingled and melted and groaned like a porn star.

No shame. No turning back either, apparently.

It took me a full couple of seconds to kiss him back, to pull him close, and when I fisted his hair, he grunted and broke the kiss.

We stood there, mouths open and panting, staring at each other, chests heaving.

I wanted to ask him what the fuck that was all about, but I didn't want to panic him. I didn't want this to end.

Brody could kiss like a demon.

His lips were swollen and red and wet, his pupils blown. I probably should have said or asked a hundred things, but only one word was on my mind.

"More," I mumbled, pulling him in for another kiss.

I led this time, my hands finding his hair. I tilted his head so I could deepen the kiss and taste every inch of his tongue. Our bodies pressed together, and I could feel his interest...

Holy shit.

He was getting hard.

This is happening.

This is actually happening.

I was kissing Brody, and he was kissing me right back.

I gripped his hair, then his jaw, his neck. Our tongues fought for dominance, tangling and sweet, and my whole body was singing. Every fiber in me wanted this, wanted him, wanted more.

Without meaning to, without thinking, I walked him backward to the wall. We hit with a thud and broke apart, kinda laughing...

Until reality caught up with him.

He put his hand up, meaning stop . His chest was heaving and he leaned forward to catch his breath, and after a few long seconds, his eyes met mine.

I was waiting for the freakout. For the anger and the outburst. But no. He smiled.

"Well, you sure can kiss," he panted.

"So can you," I replied, breathless. "You okay?"

He laughed again, but it sounded a little wilder this time. "Uh, undecided."

I didn't want him to panic. "Okay."

He shook his head and stood up to his full height, and when he looked at me again, he laughed. "So much for practice."

"I think we practiced pretty well."

He laughed again and ran his hand through his hair. "Pretty sure we don't need to kiss like that in front of anyone."

I shrugged. "Unless you wanna start an OnlyFans," I said. His gaze shot to mine and I laughed. "Just kidding."

He sighed and discretely tried to adjust his junk. He clearly thought it was as hot as I did.

For his sake, I pretended not to notice. "So, in the race of regret, anticipation, and what the fuck, which one's in front?"

He gently banged the back of his head on the wall a time or two. "Uh, what the fuck is definitely in the front."

I took his hand and led him to the sofa. "As long as regret and awkward aren't in the running, we'll be fine."

He sat with a noticeable distance between us. "I wasn't aware awkward was even in the race."

I looked at the space between us. "It's not supposed to be."

He groaned. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"I kissed you first, and?—"

"And I kissed you back, so we're even."

He stayed silent for a bit, clearly trying to process.

"So," I hedged. "First time kissing a guy?"

"Yep."

"And?"

He balked and his cheeks flushed pink. "Uh . . . It was . . . fine."

"You said I could kiss."

He groaned and put his hands over his face. "Shut up, I was embarrassed."

"I'm going to use that against you forever now."

He tried to hit me with a cushion but I took it. "You said I could kiss too," he countered.

"And I meant it. I know now why Jessica Whitmore followed you around for a year. You kissed her, and that was it for her. Poor girl. I should message her and apologize." I put my hand to my chest. "Now that I know what you're capable of."

He glowered at me. "Not funny, Miller."

I snorted and tossed the cushion back at him. "Yeah, but now it's not awkward between us."

And that was the truth. I could make jokes and ease the tension. If I left it up to him, he'd be spiraling right now. Whereas I was used to shelving my emotions when it came to him. I'd been doing it most of my life.

He shook his head and licked his lips, and I wondered if he could taste our kiss.

"If you wanna talk about it..." I murmured.

"Can we not?" He looked at me then, and there was fear in his eyes before he looked away. "Sorry. Maybe later. Tomorrow."

"Okay." I didn't want to push. He was clearly trying to get his mind around what had happened and the fact that he'd been into it. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower." I stood up and headed for the bathroom. "Well, I dunno about quick. For as long as it takes me to jerk off."

A cushion hit the wall behind me, making me laugh.

I managed a quick shower, without the jerking off, and came out with the towel around my waist. Probably should have thought about grabbing my clothes before I'd gone in.

Brody was at the window, looking at the well-lit strip. His reflection in the glass was neon.

"Shower's free," I said.

He startled, turning around, then seeing me half naked, he groaned. "Christ, put some clothes on."

"You've seen me wear less than this. And tomorrow is the pool party. I'll be wearing way less than this."

He bit back a groan—one of frustration, I was sure—and dug his fingers into his eyes. "I'll... I'll go... shower."

He went around the couch to avoid me. "I didn't jerk off in there, if that helps."

He stopped at the door. "It... does not help, but thanks."

I snorted. "Brody," I began.

"Still don't wanna talk about it."

The door closed behind him and I changed into my PJs, which were a pair of gray sleep pants. It was all I ever wore to bed. But for his sake, I did pull on a T-shirt.

I turned on the TV and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up over my hips to save him from spiraling some more.

I probably shouldn't have joked with him about it. But damn, if I didn't make light of it, we'd probably fight and I'd say a whole lotta things I shouldn't, and we'd be taking separate flights home.

He took a while in the shower, doing what I tried not to imagine, and came out with a towel around his waist. "I, uh, I forgot my pajamas," he mumbled, quickly grabbing them from his bag and disappearing again.

Yep, he was definitely awkward. Normally he'd have pulled his briefs on under his towel, then flicked me with it.

But not now.

So maybe joking about it wasn't the best way to handle it...

He came back out, dressed in long boxers and a shirt—not his usual sleeping outfit either—and quietly got into bed.

" Pawn Stars ," I said, waving the remote at the TV. "We should go there tomorrow and see if they're filming."

"Hm."

Awkward silence followed, and I didn't look at him, and the longer it went on, the more awkward it got.

I sighed. "If you don't want to kiss in public?—"

"Still don't wanna talk about it."

Awesome.

Whatever.

"Fine." I tossed him the remote and turned onto my side, away from him. "Good night then. See you in the morning when we can pretend it never happened."

Exactly how I'd spent the last ten years of my life.

More silence, then the TV shut off, casting the room in darkness. Aaaaand more silence.

"I'm just trying to get my head around it," he blurted out. "I'm not having some gay-panic moment. I'm not, it's not that, it's just... It was my first time kissing a guy. And not just any guy, but you."

"Wow. Sorry to disappoint."

He growled in frustration. "I wasn't disappointed, for fuck's sake, Miller. I thought you'd be more understanding."

Well, that stopped me.

I rolled over to face him. "I can't be understanding when you won't talk to me, then you tell me the problem was not kissing a man but specifically because you were kissing me. Not sure how I'm supposed to take that."

"Because it wasn't a problem to kiss you," he said, clearly exasperated. "That's the problem."

"Okay, thanks for clearing things up."

"Jesus, Miller. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"I liked it!" he cried, rubbing his hands over his face. "I liked it," he whispered this time.

Well, holy shit.

I reached out and took his hand. "It's okay, Brody. You're allowed to like it. And you're allowed to try new things and decide if it's for you or not. It's okay to maybe like it now and then decide no, it's not for you. There are no rules. So, no regrets, okay?"

He sighed and smiled, his eyes meeting mine in the dark. "Thank you."

God, how it made my heart flutter and ache at the same time.

"So, tomorrow," he hedged, wincing.

"Will you be okay with kissing or not? We can totally skip it if you want." Not that I wanted to skip it, but it felt like the right thing to say. "Kiss my cheek instead, or my temple. People love that. Or my neck... Okay, maybe don't kiss my neck, because that's my weak spot so that's probably not a good idea. Especially if I'm wearing Speedos."

He snorted out a laugh. "Oh god. Are you really?"

"Absolutely. It's a gay pool party, of course I am."

He groaned. "I'll be so out of my depth."

"Believe me, they'll love you. But stick with me and you'll be fine."

"Well, we're supposed to be husbands, so who else am I gonna be with?"

I snorted. "Oh, my sweet summer child. Tomorrow's going to be so much fun."

I woke up with Brody's arm around my waist, his nose in my hair, his dick pressed against my ass.

I'd dreamed of moments like this.

Specifically.

Oh so very specifically.

My whole body burned, my dick fully awake and ready, and it took physical effort on my behalf not to grind against him.

Oh god, how I wanted to.

And maybe if I did, he'd wake up and finish the job.

Or he'd wake up and freak out.

More than likely.

So I made a beeline for the bathroom and the shower had barely enough time to heat up before I was jerking off. I had to get rid of my boner before I wore a pair of tiny Speedos... before we pretended to be newlywed husbands who couldn't keep their hands off each other.

I got dressed and made coffee all while deliberately not looking at the sleeping Brody still in the bed.

Jesus Christ.

Enjoy it while it lasts, Miller. Because it all ends tomorrow when you fly back home to reality.

I heard the bathroom door close, and while he took forever in there, I decided tidying the suite a little was a good idea. And making him coffee and pretending everything was fantastically fine was too.

And apparently him not saying much at all was part of his plan.

Breakfast wasn't too awkward; we didn't need to pretend to be anything but two people eating breakfast together.

A few people smiled at us and said a cheery good morning to us, which was odd. Maybe they'd seen the promo stuff. Or maybe it was just a Vegas thing. The folks who were still drunk and hadn't slept yet were definitely a Vegas thing.

"Let's hit the strip," I suggested when we were done. "We have a few hours to kill."

Brody nodded. "Good idea."

So we wandered outside, into the disgusting heat and crowds. We avoided the hawkers and folks trying to shove flyers in our hands and made our way into Caesar's Palace where the AC was welcome. Then The Venetian, and fake Venice was kinda awesome. Then we visited the fountain, the Eiffel Tower, and Freemont. We laughed and took photos, took selfies, and it was habit to slip my arm into his as we walked back to our hotel.

We'd walked together like this, holding hands or arms linked, a thousand times over the years. But there was an uneasy feeling about it now.

It didn't feel like it used to.

I tried to pull my arm free, but he grabbed my hand instead. He looked away but his grip tightened, and I saw his throat as he swallowed. "I feel like tacos," he said.

Okay then.

So we had tacos.

It was after two by the time we made it back to the suite. "What time does this pool party start?"

"Three."

He groaned as he fell back onto the freshly made bed.

"I'd like to remind you that this whole weekend was your idea," I said, rifling through my suitcase for my pool party outfit. "So anything you are subject to doing against your will is completely your fault."

He whined. "I need sympathy, Mills."

When I looked over, he was in the fetal position. Dear god. I grabbed his ankle and dragged him to the end of the bed.

"Hey!" he said. "What the?—"

"Get in here with me," I said, walking into the bathroom.

"What for?"

"Brody, I swear to god."

"Okay, okay," he mumbled, walking in.

I was standing in front of the mirror with my arm out. "Come here. We need to get our game faces on. We will be surrounded by gay men. Believe me, if there's one sniff of doubt about us being married, they will know."

"You make it sound like we're walking into a target range."

I snorted, because yeah . . .

I pulled him close, both of us facing the mirror but leaning into each other. "Put your chin on my shoulder," I prompted. "Hand on my waist, or my ass, whatever you're comfortable with."

He chose my waist.

"Relax," I said to his reflection. "We need to look comfortable."

He sighed and some of the tension left his body. "Like this?"

I nodded. "And when you touch me, mean it." I took his hand, stood in front of him so he was half behind me, and placed his palm flat on my stomach. "You want everyone there to know who you belong to."

His eyes met mine in the mirror. "Isn't that what the wedding ring is for?" He held up his left hand like it proved his point.

"They don't care about wedding rings, believe me. It's all about body language."

He made a face.

"Now. I'm going to touch you. Nothing lewd, don't worry," I added at the bewildered look on his face. "And probably nowhere I haven't touched you already. Arms, hands, waist."

"You make it sound like an undercover FBI operation."

I shrugged. "Well, what you said about target practice was kinda apt. If they get one sniff of available fresh meat, you're done for."

"Fresh meat?" He looked positively horrified. "Jesus Christ."

I gave him my brightest smile. "If you get overwhelmed or feel a bit out of your depth, just look at me. Stick with me and you'll be fine." Then, for good measure, I turned him around and smacked his ass. "Now, go get changed."

He wandered off like a lost child, and I couldn't help but smile.

He was so not ready for this.