Chapter 8

Chapter

Eight

H e repositioned himself on the rock, wincing a little as a sharp edge stabbed him in the thigh. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to get into his family’s history, but the soft lapping of the lake was a calming influence. “It’s like this… way back when the government was trying to get homesteaders to fill up all the empty land they’d stolen, three brothers moved out and claimed three pieces of land that they combined and worked together. This land has been passed down in the family since.”

“You were serious about your family owning the lake then?”

“Yep. The Brood brothers were geese shifters, and they specifically chose this land because of the lake. But once they got here and built themselves a big house to live in… they realized they were kind of lonely. Women were in short supply back then. So, they did what any red blooded, slightly misogynistic fella from the 1800’s did and posted an ad for a mail order bride.”

“Um, just one?”

“Mhm.”

“Is this going to turn into one of those reverse harem romance stories?”

Jacob threw back his head and laughed. “I have a cousin who loves those stories, but no. They decided that they could only afford for one of them to be a distracted newlywed at a time. They were going to let her choose which brother she wanted.”

“Okay, that sounds better.”

“But… they were a little afraid she might find the situation odd. So, instead of mentioning that it was three brothers to choose from, they just wrote the ad like it was one man, and waited for her to arrive. Surprise!”

Lizzy snorted. “That’s… something.”

“I guess she wasn’t too put off by it though, since she stayed. She picked the eldest brother, and it turned out she had two younger sisters. They came to join her and, well, it all just worked out. Three couples, one huge spread of land.”

“Huh. And they were um, fine with the brothers turning into geese?”

“That’s the best part. It could have been fate or just coincidence, but without realizing it, the ad was answered by a swan maiden. Three geese married three swans and here we are, all these generations later.”

Her mouth hung open for several seconds before she snapped it shut. “That’s one hell of a story. Are you sure it’s not just… you know like a family legend?”

Jacob shook his head. “Oh, no. It’s true. We have all the records and even some personal diaries.”

She was quiet for nearly a minute before she came up with questions. “So, some of your family are swans and some?—”

“Just the girls. The girls are always swans and the boys are always geese. I think, technically we’re not really the same thing. The rules seem slightly… different.”

“Different?” She tilted her head, brow furrowing.

“Well, for one thing the girls start shifting much younger. And they rub it in our faces too. By the time they start school, they’re all able to fully change and even fly.”

She nodded. “That was the same for me.”

“They also seem to have a little more control over the shift. For us, well, for the boys, since I’m still new to it, keeping it under control when stressed can be a problem. It’s kind of a family joke that part of puberty means bursting out in feathers at awkward moments. Some have to be homeschooled for a year or two, until they get it under control.”

“But not you.”

“No. I’m the only one in the family who didn’t start shifting during puberty. I kept waiting… but nothing. It was...” He trailed off trying to find a way to explain it. Finally he settled on, “Hard.”

“Because you felt like you didn’t fit in?”

He shot her a relieved glance, nodding. “Basically yeah. I was the broken one and everyone was always trying to solve the problem, until I started to feel like my existence was the problem. That’s why I ended up moving to California.”

“Oh, you-you don’t live here then?”

“No, I’m just home for the family reunion.”

“Oh.” Her tone was carefully neutral, and she had turned to look at the water instead of him. He was struggling to figure out what to say, when she finally spoke up. “That’s how I felt growing up with regular people and not understanding why I kept changing into a stupid bird. I tried really hard not to, but I could almost never go more than a couple of months without it happening. The longer I put it off the worse I felt.”

“That’s another way swan maidens are different. You can go longer than we can without changing. For the guys, well, we can still get forced into a shift if we’re really stressed or upset, but even if everything is fine, we have to change at least once a month. No choice.”

One eyebrow went up as she looked at him. “That sounds like a euphemism for something. Do you die if you don’t get your feathers on once a month?” There was an amused lilt to her words.

He laughed. “No, but waking up as a goose because your body decided it had waited long enough can be… awkward. And it makes the sheets messy.”

“Still sounds like a euphemism.” Since he’d meant it to, he just grinned as she continued, “I never change by accident. Not since I was little. But the need gets, um, desperate after a while. My skin starts to hurt.” She shuddered.

“Yeah, we’ve never been sure if it’s a gender thing or because we’re different birds. My dad thinks that swans have a different origin, maybe a curse like in the old stories, and that’s why it’s different.”

She let her head tip back, staring up at the stars. “It doesn’t feel like a curse. It’s wonderful. It’s hard to change back to human sometimes.” Her voice was wistful and there was a faraway note. “That’s why I don’t let myself change too often. Someday… maybe I’ll just never return to human again.”

He didn’t have an answer for that. Until a few days ago he hadn’t even considered himself a shifter, despite being surrounded by them his whole life. He had knowledge but no practical experience. And while shifted his focus had really just been on… her.

Thoughts of her had consumed him so completely since then, that he hadn’t even really taken the time to decompress and think about his first shift. His family had been thrilled, of course. Every relative had rushed to congratulate him, but it still didn’t feel quite real.

He tilted his head, looking at her. “So, why haven’t you? I mean what stopped you?”

“I… I’m not sure. It can be lonely. Being human is lonely too, but at least I can talk to people. When I’m a swan it’s just me. I love being free from everything, but after a while it starts to feel isolated.” She shrugged.

“Makes sense, but with a mate you—” He cut himself off, not wanting to ruin the mood.

“Yeah, about the mate thing. It seems pretty serious, but I still don’t know what it means.”

“It’s a strong bond that ties us together, usually for life.” He hesitated and then added, “Though it can be broken if necessary.” It wasn’t fair to keep that from her no matter how reluctant he was to give her an out. “And like I said, if we separate now, eventually it will wither away.”

She blew out an exasperated breath. “But what causes it? What does it mean for me, for us? It can’t be love. We don’t even know each other.”

Yet.

“It’s not love but it grows into that pretty quickly in most cases. Even people who hate each other—” He paused to give her a significant look, which she returned coolly. “Things usually work out for them once the bond settles in.”

“But why? And why us? Look, all I know is I can’t get you out of my head. Even when I’m asleep you’re there.” Her words were rushed and ragged, demanding answers.

“No one knows what causes a mating bond to happen. It just… does. But the fact that it works out most of the time, probably means that whatever the surface problems are, underneath you were always compatible.” He laughed, shrugging, “You probably would have liked me if the mating bond hadn’t kicked in and made me act like a weirdo. I don’t normally have issues with?—”

“Women?” She squinted at him.

“I was going to say ‘people’, but I’ll admit I did okay with women.” Past tense, because as far as he was concerned, she was now the only woman for him. If she caught the meaning, she didn’t comment on it. After a moment of silence, he continued. “How did you feel about me before the odd stuff?”

She pursed her lips, eyes narrowed. “I guess I thought you were okay.” Then with reluctance, “Cute in a nerdy way.”

Cute wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for, maybe he should go back to wearing contacts. “Cute huh?”

“Well, cute in a sexy way, I suppose.” She looked away.

That was better. “So, we probably would have gotten along fine if we’d met under different circumstances. We just got off to a bad start.” He couldn’t help adding, “Maybe we could start over.”

She wiggled on her rock, sighing. “Like we even have a choice.”

“There is a choice. We can be miserable until the bond eventually goes away. It’s not what I’d prefer, but it’s a choice.”

“What do you want from me, Jacob? I came here to find out who I was, not to jump into a relationship with a man I don’t even know.” She wrapped her arms around herself, staring hard at the water, as if there might be answers out there. “If you want sex, sure. That I can do, willingly, eagerly even, but a relationship is?—”

“Actually, um…” He cleared his throat. “If you want the bond to fade, we uh, can’t do that.”

“Can’t do what? Have sex?” Her head snapped around and she gaped at him.

“Having sex in human form will make it permanent—well, nearly permanent. It could still be broken but it’s painful and complicated after it’s, uh, consummated.”

“Uh, consummated,” she said, mimicking his tone. “Are you serious? So the stupid bond makes me incredibly horny for you, but if I have sex with you, I’m stuck forever?”

One hand went up to rub the back of his neck where the tension was starting to build. “I wouldn’t have put it exactly like that but basically, yeah.”

“So when you said we’d be miserable for a while, you meant we’d be in this constant state of arousal.”

“Yes.”

“And nothing really helps. What if I have sex with other men?”

Something in him clenched tight as a feeling of possessiveness swept over him. He pushed it down, with difficulty, so he could answer her question. Not that she was going to like it. “It won’t help. Like masturbation, it will just take the edge off for a little while. Until the bond is complete it will be like… constant edging and no real release.”

“Fuck. Fuck you and fuck this bond.” She jumped to her feet.

He expected her to run off again, prepared himself for it, but she just began to pace back and forth with quick angry steps. Occasionally she paused to kick at rocks or curse at the water. It wasn’t clear who she was mad at— him, or just at the situation.

When she got closer to the water, he opened his mouth to warn her that the rocks could be incredibly slippery, but it was too late. She swung her leg to kick at something and lost her balance. With frantic windmilling of the arms, she went down hard right where the water met the gravel shore.

Jacob was up and charging to help her almost before his brain kicked in. Her eyes were closed, and her face twisted into a grimace. He dropped down next to her, ignoring the sharp rocks that pressed into his knee. “Lizzy, you okay?”

Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned. “Do I look okay? Fuck, that hurts. Can you help me up?”

“Hold on, let’s make sure nothing is broken. That was a pretty bad fall. Where’s the pain?”

She winced and bit back a hiss as she tried to sit up. “Everywhere. I don’t think anything’s broken though.”

“Okay let’s do this nice and easy.” He slid an arm around her shoulders and helped her to sit up. It didn’t seem to make anything worse, so she probably wasn’t too badly hurt. “Okay?”

She nodded, looking up. Their eyes met and locked. His arm was still around her, almost like an embrace. The magnetic attraction was too much to resist.

Her hand came up between them and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down until their faces were only an inch apart. Suddenly they were kissing, a frantic, desperately hungry kiss that bound them even tighter.

It was like she wanted to suck his soul from his body, and he was willing to give her that and everything else. His tongue thrust against hers, pushing into her mouth to explore and she whimpered with need, but when he gripped her tighter, there was a sharp pain, distantly felt, like an echo.

It was hers.

He let her go quickly. “Did I hurt you?” He could feel her body better now, all the little aches and pains from the fall… and underneath that a throbbing of arousal that was growing, despite the pain.

“Pressed on a sore spot.” Her breathing was a little ragged, but he didn’t think it was from the pain. She forced a smile. “Don’t get me wrong, a little pain is a turn on, but some warning is nice.”

Jacob filed that away for future reference, since he enjoyed a little spice in the bedroom… but not like this. “Sorry, it’s hard to go slow with you.” He took a deep breath and forced a little more space between them.

He couldn’t think with her so close.