Chapter 30

Hayden

Our brief interludeon Wednesday isn't nearly enough to satisfy my need for Victoria. It's over too quickly, and she's getting dressed and ready to go almost as soon as we both finish, with only a few minutes of cuddling. And while the sex is amazing, there's something about the connection that happens afterward that makes it all so much better. It feels cheapened in some way when she has to get up and leave so quickly.

I don't like it.

But I keep my complaints to myself as I watch her get dressed. She catches me staring and smirks. "Enjoying the show?"

I return her smile. "Not as much as I enjoyed it earlier when all of that was coming off."

She laughs off my remark and climbs back on the bed. I want to hook my arm around her and roll her under me again, but I content myself with the kiss she offers and stroking the skin I can reach under the hem of her shirt.

"Only two more days," she says as she climbs back off the bed and finds her shoes.

I climb off the bed as well, grabbing my sweatpants and stepping into them so I can say goodbye properly. "I can't wait."

She flashes me a grin and stands, picking up her purse and settling it on her shoulder. "Me either." She steps closer to me, her fingers caressing down my sternum. "This was lovely, as usual, but I hate having to leave so quickly."

Wrapping my arms around her, I nuzzle her neck. "Me too. You should stay longer."

Patting my back, she chuckles and kisses my shoulder. "I would if I could, but I've already stayed longer than I really should've."

The noise I make is half grunt, half groan, and all protest.

"Aw, c'mon," she cajoles, patting my back again and then stepping out of my arms. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

Sighing, I pull her in for one last hug and kiss. "Sorry," I whisper against her lips. "I don't want to make your life harder."

What I really want is for her to tell me that I don't, but instead, she just says, "I know." I guess I can take solace in the fact that her leaving seems as difficult for her as it is for me.

I want to talk to her about the things Mia suggested the other day, the things I've been thinking about nonstop ever since. But I need to choose my time wisely, and I know that when she's halfway out the door isn't the right time. I've thought about bringing it up on the phone, but that hasn't felt right either. That first night when I was so eager to discuss my ideas about the future, she was so exhausted, and I knew I needed to wait until the really busy week was over. But the problem is, she's very busy all the time. Busier than me, which I didn't realize was possible since I'm in so many scenes. But I at least have downtime built into my schedule as part of my contract. She has no such guarantees, and so every minute of every day is accounted for. If it's not her normal job or here, it's time with her daughter. And of course, that's all extremely important, and I don't want to take away from any of that.

I wish I could freeze time. Just a little bubble for us where the rest of the world waits, and we get to spend time together without the pressures of everything else. And at the very least, Victoria could get a nap. I can tell this schedule is wearing on her just by looking at her. She looks tired—dark circles under her eyes that makeup can't quite hide, the slump to her shoulders, the near-constant yawning and sighing. She needs a week off. And I desperately wish I could give it to her.

For the first time in my life, I wish she would ask me for help.

Usually I'm annoyed by friends or romantic partners constantly approaching with their hand out, asking me to do something for them. Even my parents are frequently asking me for things—appearances and opinions, mostly, and I don't mind since they're happy to return the favor, but so many of my relationships are based on what we do for each other rather than simply enjoying each other's company.

My relationship with Victoria is the first one that doesn't feel transactional, at least to some extent—not that all my relationships are purely transactional, but it's at least a part of all of them—and I don't know if my desire to provide something for her is about putting this relationship on more familiar footing, or because I've come to care about her enough that I just want to make her life better.

If I stop and think about it, though, the second one feels more true than the first.

"You got awfully quiet there," Victoria says, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to the moment. "Everything okay?"

"Other than the fact that you're leaving, everything's perfect."

She smiles, stepping close for one last kiss. "Friday," she says, as though I need the reminder.

"Friday."

With one last smile over her shoulder, she slips out of my trailer, and she's gone.

Thursday seems to drag on forever, to the point that I fear Friday will never show up. I'll be stuck in an infinite time loop where we redo the same scene over and over and over again for all eternity.

When Brady finally yells cut and lets us go, saying that he has enough takes that he should be able to piece together something salvageable in post, I roll my eyes at his dramatics, but I'm grateful that we're finally done. Today was worse than the interminable number of takes we had to do on the days with the extras on set. I'm not sure if something about that made him more of a perfectionist or if he just wants to drag things out for his own reasons, but today's focus on only two scenes has us behind schedule, when we were ahead just last week.

Not that I'm complaining. More time here means more time before I have to leave Victoria. As much as I find myself annoyed at having to redo things so many times, I've seen enough of his work to know his perfectionism will pay off in the end. And considering my investment in the movie, that's a good thing for me.

When Friday finally dawns, I'm up and out for a run with the rising sun, enjoying the cool mountain air and the sun warming my chilled skin as it climbs in the clear June sky. It's amazing to think that it was cool and wet just a few weeks ago. Now that it's mid-June, it feels very much like summer is showing up at last.

It was warmer than this in LA in April before we came up here. But I've come to enjoy the slower pace of the seasons here.

I could see myself relocating here, at least for part of the time. I'd need to spend time in LA still for work and to see my family, but I'm so often away from home while filming that it wouldn't be a big deal to move my home base up here instead of in LA.

Erin could stay in school here, Victoria would still have her parents close by, and if she's sewing, she could do that wherever. We could travel to LA together for her to meet with clients—assuming, as I suspect, that she'd rather do the fashion design than the costuming.

But if she wanted to do costuming, she could move into my place in LA. We could find an amazing school for Erin, and I'd happily hire a nanny or whatever we'd need to fill in for the things Victoria's parents do to help her out.

I just need to talk to her and find out what she wants, and then I can start making real plans.

I'm antsy all day despite my run this morning. Since we're behind schedule, I have more downtime than normal, which would normally be a relief after spending so long reshooting one scene yesterday. But I wish I had the distraction of work.

I know Victoria'll be on set this afternoon, but I won't feel settled until we're actually alone and able to talk.

"Dude," Mia says, sidling up to me as I stand on the sidelines watching everyone film a scene I'm not in. "If you keep scowling like that, you'll end up needing Botox sooner than later."

I glance down at her, doing my best to smooth the scowl from my face. "Hey, Mia. What brings you out here? Not enough to do in the costume trailer?"

She shrugs. "Everything's been prepped for days, especially since we were supposed to shoot all this yesterday." She narrows her eyes as we watch Brady cut the scene and reset it to do it again. "D'you think we'll get caught up? Or is he going to keep doing what he did yesterday and drag this out as long as possible to make up for the fact we've been ahead of schedule so far?"

Crossing my arms, I shake my head. "Who knows? Brady doesn't tell me his plans."

Casting a glance my way, she smirks. "He probably would, but since you're spending all your free time?—"

"Watch it, Mia." I keep my voice soft, but the warning in my tone is clear.

She chuckles, watching Brady confer with the actors before reshooting the scene. "I told you your secret's safe with me. But seriously, what's with the scowling? Why aren't you relaxing in your trailer or looking over your lines for your next scene?" She waves at the work going on. "You're not part of this, and at the rate he's going, you'll be lucky to shoot before mid-afternoon. Are you pissed he's taking forever and hoping that staring him down as he works will speed him up?"

"Ha. No." I grin. "That wouldn't work on Brady anyway. If anything, it would have the opposite effect. Brady doesn't like to feel rushed—he never has—and if he thinks anyone's trying to make him go faster, he'll slow down out of spite, everyone else's problems be damned."

"Too true." She lets out a soft laugh. "I forgot that you've known Brady longer than me. But if you're not pissed at him taking so long—and honestly, out of everyone, I'd think you'd be happy about us being here longer—what's with the face?"

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh, look down, and kick at the dirt under my feet. "Just been thinking a lot."

"Oh yeah? About anything in particular?"

I shrug. "What comes next."

"Ah." Fortunately, she realizes what I'm talking about right away and doesn't play dumb and make me spell it out. "Do you have ideas about what you want to come next?"

I nod.

"And does your … ah … lady friend share these ideas?"

I shrug. "Dunno. Haven't had the chance to talk about it with her yet."

"I see. Hence the scowling."

Another nod. "Hence the scowling."

She's quiet for a moment. "Well, let me know what happens. I like her. And the more I think about it, the more I like the two of you together. I know it's not supposed to last beyond the film, but I think it'd be good for you if you could manage it."

I murmur my agreement, and we stand in companionable silence for a while before Mia wanders off, either bored or because she actually does have something to do.

It's a relief when I'm finally called to work on my scene, and I welcome the distraction. And by the time we finish with the scene, it's time to call it a night, and nothing can wipe the smile from my face when I head for my trailer and see Victoria waiting for me.