Chapter 27

Victoria

This week is morehectic than I could've imagined. I'm running myself ragged trying to keep up with everything, and I can't wait for the weekend. I still have to be on set all day on Saturday, but at least I don't have to work at the dental office before spending all evening out here like I did all week.

Now that it's early June, we have hours of daylight in the evening, so I'm working basically twelve to thirteen hours a day, and I'm dead on my feet. Only two more days of this, and then Saturday is only eight hours, and then I have Sunday off.

Much as I'll want to do nothing but lie around and moan, I've promised Erin that we'll go somewhere together to make up for barely seeing her all week.

She only has a couple weeks left of school, which means she'll start spending the days at my parents' house again. She's been campaigning hard for me to let her stay home alone during the day this summer, but I'm not quite ready to go that route yet. In a couple more years, maybe. When she's in middle school.

Not deciding when I'll let her stay home alone feels a lot like kicking the can farther down the road to deal with later, but … I suppose when I get to it again, she'll be older, and maybe I can figure out when and how to approach the next phase of parenting.

That seems to be my general rule for decision-making right now, though—putting it off until later. With Erin, with Hayden, with work.

Not that there are lots of decisions to make about work at the moment, but spending so much time working on costumes makes me wish I could do more with my sewing in general.

Brit's offered to give me space in her shop, but I've never really known what to put there. So many of my designs are specific to mine or Erin's taste, though I've made a few things for Brit over the years.

But maybe I could. Maybe I could pick one of the designs I've gotten the most compliments on and grade it for a few sizes, then put it in Brit's shop. I'm not really sure how well it would do there since she specializes in cute home goods and locally crafted tchotchkes and souvenirs, not clothing. But since she's offered …

Maybe it's worth trying, at least. It'll have to wait until after the film is over, though, because right now I have no free time at all. Which, again, means putting off the decision until some point down the road.

But at least I've decided to do it, pretty much. I know I want to. I'm only putting off deciding specifically what to make for when I have the time and energy to do it.

It feels better to think of it that way. Like I'm capable of making decisions now, even if I can't act on it yet.

I suppose there aren't really decisions to make regarding Hayden other than when or how I'm going to see him again. This week has been so busy that there hasn't been time, and though we've texted some and talked on the phone a little, I know he's chafing at the distance. I probably would be too if I weren't so busy and exhausted.

Maybe it's for the best, though, this distance. My feelings for him are already way more involved than they probably should be at this stage, especially given that we both know there's an expiration date here. Maybe not getting to see him at all this week will help me keep things in perspective.

Or maybe it'll at least teach me that as long as every minute of my days are full, I'll survive the inevitable end of our relationship.

I guess that's one bright side. And it also makes Brit's offer even more appealing. I'll need something to fill my free time once my time working on the film is over. I can throw myself into new designs and filling whatever space she wants to give me in her shop. Maybe I can start an online store, too, though that's a more daunting task. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that.

The other bright side of this week is that I've spent so much time in the costume trailer sorting and organizing that I've had plenty of time alone with my thoughts. Mia's been busy working directly with the extras, and I've mostly been in here.

The door to the trailer opens and closes, and I pop my head up from behind the rack to see what Mia needs. But it's not Mia's face that greets me.

It's Hayden.

My smile breaks out immediately when I realize it's him, unable to be tempered or restrained even if I wanted to. But it's okay because he looks just as happy to see me.

He winds his way through the racks, reaching me in seconds. "God, I've missed you," he says quietly before kissing me. It's hard and fast, no finesse, just a hurried clash of lips like he's been dying for this very thing. When he tries to pull away, I don't let him, needing this as much as he does.

He chuckles against my mouth but gives in to my silent demands without complaint, sinking into the kiss, his arms wrapping around me, tongue seeking mine.

It's everything. Everything I could want or need in this moment. And proof that no, the artificial distance imposed by this busy week has done nothing to temper or dim my feelings for this man, and based on his reactions, his for me.

One of his hands slips under my shirt, his fingers cool against my skin, and I claw at his shoulders, desperate to be closer to him. Needing him in a way I wouldn't—couldn't—acknowledge before this kiss.

"Oh!" The sound of surprise hits us both like a bucket of cold water, and we leap apart, turning to face whoever's interrupted us.

Hayden moves in front of me as though to protect me from view, but I step to the side, needing to see who it is and face the consequences head-on. There's no hiding. The only other person Hayden could be kissing is Mia?—

And Mia will definitely know he's not kissing her. Which means even if he managed to block me from view indefinitely, she'll know she walked in on him kissing me. Who else would be in here, after all?

Mia looks us both over, a sly smile on her face. "Well, well, well," she murmurs, more to herself than to us. "I wondered." She arches an eyebrow at me, and I'm not sure if it's a reminder of the conversation where she warned me away from Hayden or if she's asking how long this has been going on.

"It's not what it looks like," Hayden blurts, as though that could salvage anything at this point. Mia barks out a laugh at the absurdity of that statement.

If I didn't feel so sick, I'd want to laugh too.

But that sick, sinking feeling, heart pounding—I know when I'm well and truly caught. I've been through this before, after all. Placing a hand on Hayden's arm, I catch his attention and shake my head. "It's okay. We all know it's exactly what it looks like."

"Thank you," Mia says emphatically. "Thank you for not insulting my intelligence by trying to lie to me." She shoots an unimpressed look in Hayden's direction. "Yes. We all know it's exactly what it looks like."

"But this stays here. Between the three of us," Hayden states, arms crossed, voice brooking no argument.

Mia raises her eyebrows at him. "Oh?"

He nods once. "Yes. Victoria and I have been keeping our relationship quiet on purpose. And while I'm glad that you know because now I won't have to lie to you and make up costume-related reasons for Victoria to be in my trailer anymore, that doesn't mean anyone else needs to know."

Shaking her head, Mia tsks. "And here I thought better of you than to be unwilling to openly date someone who's not an actress."

"That's not?—"

"He's keeping it secret for me," I say calmly, interrupting Hayden's protest.

Mia's eyebrows wing up in surprise. "You don't want people to know you've caught the attention of Hayden Maddox?" She's practically sputtering with disbelief.

I tilt my chin up. "Yes. That's right."

She surveys me cooly, her eyes scanning me up and down, then a warm smile breaks out on her face. "Looks like you found a good one, Hayden."

He exhales slowly, his arms dropping, one arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close. "So we can count on you to keep a lid on this?"

Her mouth hooks to the side and she tilts her head as she looks us over again, taking in the way Hayden's holding me like it's new and different in her experience. She nods. "Yeah," she says slowly, circling the air in our direction with one finger. "But I'm not sure how long you two will be able to keep this up."

I glance at Hayden. His lips are pressed together in a grim line. "Let us worry about that."

She nods again, this time more easily. "Alright." She holds up her hands, palms out. "My lips are sealed. If news of this gets out, it won't be from me."

When I look at Hayden again, he's nodding as if he knows what she's talking about. "What—" I start, then change my mind. "Who?—"

He gives a sharp shake of his head. "Nobody. Nothing. She's just saying if people see us together, they'll figure it out on their own."

"You two are adorable," Mia puts in. "And it's obvious you're into each other. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the chemistry."

Hayden cocks his head to the side, a smile playing over his lips. "I feel like there's a joke there about rocket scientists and chemistry."

Rolling her eyes, she waves her hand at him. "Save it for your screenplay."

He laughs. "I have no desire to write a screenplay."

"Well, then you can improvise it into a line somewhere eventually. Just be sure to thank me in your awards speech when you win best actor for it."

"Of course," he agrees easily. "I'd obviously do that. That line's what'll earn me the Oscar, after all."

"Okay. I'll leave you two to your own devices. Victoria, text me when you're done hooking up with your secret boyfriend." She shakes her head, muttering something to herself that I don't catch before leaving the trailer.

When the door closes behind her, Hayden turns to face me, an expectant look on his face.

"Well," I say, not really sure how to react to what just happened.

He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his expression now tender. "I did say that she wouldn't tell anyone if we let her in on the secret."

"She seemed surprised that I was the one insisting on secrecy." Far more surprised than I would've expected, especially considering she did try to warn me off him. At the time, I'd thought she was trying to protect me. But based on their banter and obvious friendship, perhaps she was trying to protect him? I hadn't thought that the famous movie star would need protecting, especially not from someone like me, but I suppose she might see it differently since she knows him.

He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "Let's just say it's unusual for a woman not to want her name connected with mine."

Memories of some of our past conversations flicker through my mind about how he seemed to expect me to want to use him somehow. "I see."

He sucks in a breath, his hand resting on my collarbone, his thumb stroking the skin accessible above the neckline of my T-shirt, his gaze glued to the motion. "I'm not sure you do, really, but that's part of why I like you so much." Ducking his head, he gives me another swift kiss, pulling away before I can even respond. "I should go." He steps back, gesturing at the racks of costumes. "You need to finish your work. I just wanted to see you, at least for a few minutes. Call me tonight after Erin's in bed." Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he looks away, and I wait, giving him time to assemble whatever else he clearly wants to say. Looking at me again, he shakes his head. "We should talk. There are … things to say."

My eyebrows lift, and the bolt of panic his words send through me must show on my face because he chuckles softly and shakes his head again. "No, no. Nothing bad. Just"—he waves a hand toward the door where Mia just left—"in light of that, we should figure out how we move forward."

I study him for a long moment before nodding. "Okay. I'll call you tonight," I promise, though I want to say more. When Mia was here, it seemed like everything was pretty well resolved. She promised not to tell anyone. What else is there to figure out beyond that?

Maybe he doesn't trust her to keep her word?

But as much as I want to get to the bottom of whatever's on his mind, now's not the time.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and I realize I've been staring into the middle distance, my hand clutching the pendant necklace hanging at my collarbone, brows scrunched in thought.

I paste on a smile. "Yes. I'm good. Fine. Great."

"That's not all that convincing," he murmurs, making me chuckle.

This time my smile is genuine. "I'll be fine," I assure him. "I'm tired. And that was all a big shock. Like you said, we can talk about it more tonight. I need to finish up here so I can get home and see my kid for at least a few minutes."

After one last kiss, he leaves, and even though I'm supposed to text Mia, I wait a few minutes, needing time to myself to process. And to steel myself for whatever comes next.