Chapter 21

Victoria

HM

Tomorrow can't get here soon enough

The sentiment would makeme smile if it weren't for the stabbing cramps coming from my midsection. I know he's cranky that we haven't seen each other in five days, and this news won't help. I'm due on set tomorrow for the first time in days. And it's the weekend, so I'll be there for hours and can easily extend my time to see him, especially if I hurry up and get through all the work Mia has for me.

He has the day off—the first one in nearly a week—and the plan has been for me to get done as quickly as possible and meet him at his trailer afterward. He assured me no one will think twice about him being on set on his day off since he's one of the producers. And I like the idea of meeting at his trailer better than his suggestion that I meet him at the house he's sharing with the other big names because I don't see how we wouldn't get discovered there.

But my period started this morning …

So about that …

Nope. Uh-uh. No cancelling. It's not allowed. I need to see you.

I want to see you too, but we need to talk first. Can you call me this evening?

Text me when you can talk

I do my best not to worry about Hayden's reaction as I make it through the evening's activities.

"I'm so excited about tomorrow," Erin gushes as we start our bedtime routine. She starts filling me in on the plans that she and her best friend Hannah have made for their day and night together.

All the more reason the timing of my period is extra frustrating. When I'd asked Hannah's mom Grace if Erin could hang out there on Saturday, she'd countered with an offer for Hannah to sleep over on Saturday night. Which means Hayden and I finally don't have a time limit.

But I'm all too aware that some men are not okay with surfing the crimson tide.

For all his pseudo-enlightened, all things are connected, life is beautiful talk, Erin's dad was disgusted by all things period related. And the handful of guys I've dated since have been a mixed bag. One guy didn't care at all, and in fact, the first time we had sex, I was on my period. Another seemed to decide that any sex was better than no sex, though he was a little astonished—unpleasantly so—about the blood on and around his dick afterward. I mean, showers exist, and soap and water take care of the issue quickly enough, so I'm not sure what all the fuss was about. The other two wanted nothing to do with period sex.

And I have no idea what camp Hayden will fall into.

Once I have Erin tucked into bed, I head into my bedroom, shooting off a text to let Hayden know I'm available. The message barely shows as sent before his call pops up on my screen.

I wait until I'm in my room with the door closed before I answer. "Hey." I can't keep the smile off my face.

"Hey." That single syllable encompasses all the weariness in the world.

"Long day?"

He sighs. "The longest. And the woman who I haven't seen in almost a week is sounding like she might cancel tomorrow, and I'm really bummed about that."

I let out a low chuckle. "No, I'm not trying to cancel." I start pacing, working up to telling him. "I just …" I suck in a deep breath. I need to just say it. Rip off the Band-Aid, so to speak. "I started my period," I say in a rush, making it sound almost like one word. "Today. And I … well, different people feel different ways about that, and I thought you'd like to know upfront so nothing felt like a bait and switch."

"Bait and switch?" He repeats the words like he doesn't understand what they mean.

"Yeah, I mean, you know. Like, you're expecting sex but don't do period sex and you don't know ahead of time …"

He grunts, and I don't know what that means. Then he sighs. "Victoria, I don't know much about your history, but I promise you that I'm not squeamish. I don't have a problem with periods. I want to see you tomorrow because I want to see you. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

I settle onto my bed, relief washing over me. "You do?"

"Want to see you even if we don't have sex? Of course." He sounds almost affronted that I could think otherwise.

"Okay. Well, I just wasn't sure."

Another sigh, but this one sounds more relieved and tired than annoyed. "What do you want?"

"I want to see you too. And also?—"

"Oh, no," he butts in, making me laugh.

"No, this is a good thing. I promise. My daughter is going to a friend's tomorrow for the day while I'm on set, and it's going to be a sleepover. She's staying there tomorrow night, so I'll have my house all to myself."

"Oh, really?" he asks, a sly note taking over his voice, all sounds of exhaustion wiped away.

"Yes, really."

"Does that mean we should change our plans and meet up at your place once you're done on set?"

Grinning, I nod, even though he can't see me. "I think that sounds like a fantastic plan."

We talk for a while longer. He complains about Brady some more, and I grin, remembering the other night when he told me about his day filming. He doesn't need so much prompting now, instead telling me about it like it's the most natural thing in the world. It's fascinating, since his life is so vastly different from mine. But also it makes me feel like our connection is turning into something deeper.

"Ugh, I've talked enough," he says eventually. "Tell me about your day. Did you find any cavities? Fix any costumes? Design any more amazing wedding dresses?"

Giggling—because yes, I giggle like I'm fourteen when I'm talking to Hayden—I shake my head. "Finding cavities isn't a good thing, you know."

"Well, sure. No one wants one. But finding them is important so you can fix them, right?"

"Right. But of course it's the dentist who does the fixing. I just do the scraping and polishing and lecture everyone about flossing."

He groans. "Tell me about it. I'm good about it now, but for years I'd get those lectures. I guess they worked, though, since I do it without complaining these days. Gotta preserve the money maker, after all."

"Oh, for sure," I say around a laugh. "But it's nice to know that the endless lectures do someone good. Taking care of your teeth is important, whether you get paid to smile on camera or not."

"Hey! I do more than just smile on camera," he protests.

"Of course you do," I say in my most patronizing voice, and his low chuckle warms me. I like making him laugh. I like that he makes me laugh. I just like him. "I've done a little bit of work on costumes, but Mia hasn't had a whole lot for me to do off site this week, thank god. No real time to design anything, either. Between work, Erin, and working on the movie, all my time and energy are spoken for."

He grunts, and I'm not sure if it's protest or regret or what. "I'm not adding to the problem, am I?"

"No," I reassure him. "Not at all. You make it easier to get through all the hard stuff, because even if I don't get to spend time with you, I can at least text you to vent." I pause, uncertain if I should admit more feelings. Things are skating dangerously close to catching feelings territory, and that was never part of the deal. "I look forward to talking to you at night."

"Me too," he rumbles, and I smile.

I know this is supposed to be just sex. That's the understanding I've been operating under and why I thought he'd be disappointed about the period thing. But he wants to see me regardless, even if all we do is get a pizza and watch a movie together. He wants to spend time with me. He likes talking to me and wants to hear about my day, my interests, as much as I want to hear about his.

And even though part of me thinks it shouldn't, that realization fills me with happiness, fizzing through me like champagne bubbles.

When we eventually get off the phone, I'm grinning when I say, "Goodnight. See you tomorrow."

"Did you finally get Hayden's costume issues resolved?" Mia asks the next day while we're sorting costumes for the next week's shooting.

"God, I hope so," I say with feeling I don't mean. But I have to keep up the ruse, after all.

"I'm sorry he's being like that to you. I'm not sure why he's got such a bug up his ass on this one. He's not usually like that."

"I'm sure he's just being a perfectionist. Between the fact it's Shakespeare and that he's one of the producers, he's probably feeling the pressure to make everything the best it can be. Don't you think?"

Mia makes a noncommittal sound, pulling a few more things before shrugging and saying, "Yeah. Maybe you're right."

She doesn't sound convinced, though. "What else could it be?" I ask, trying to sound casual, though my heart rate is spiking. Does she suspect anything?

She shakes her head. "No, I think you're probably right. I mean, what other explanation could there be? He and I have worked together before and we've always gotten along. He hasn't been treating me any differently." She freezes, a dress in hand, then turns slowly and looks at me, brows raised. "It's you. Something to do with you. Did you say something to piss him off when you first started?"

"Uh … no?" I sound completely unconvincing, but I lean into it, playing up the confused newbie part. It's true, after all, might as well go with it. "At least, I don't think so?" I frown, pausing like I'm thinking over our first interactions. "I can't think of anything that he might've gotten upset about."

"Well, it must've been something," Mia says, turning back to the rack of costumes in front of her. She spreads out the ones we've pulled for tomorrow, checking them over, tagging them with the actors' names, then grouping them together before moving onto the chunk for the next day. "With all these fiddly adjustments and insisting it's you who does them, it seems like he's punishing you for something." She looks at me, concern stamped on her face. "Are you sure he's not being awful when you're in there? Or …" Her eyes dart from side to side like she's checking to make sure we're not going to be overheard. "He's not being inappropriate, is he?" She asks the last in a whisper.

I laugh. I can't help it. "Oh, no. No, nothing like that." Exactly like that, actually. But since it's consensual, I don't think it's the same kind of inappropriate she means. "He's not being gross or like threatening my job if I don't give him a blowjob or something."

She looks relieved. "Okay. Good. Just double-checking. It'd be way out of character for Hayden to do something like that, but sometimes these guys get a producer credit, the power goes to their head, and they think they can pull that kind of shit."

"No, he's great. Funny and sweet and—" I cut myself off when Mia's eyebrows jump up her forehead. "I mean, you know, just normal. He's just really fussy about these costumes, I guess. And maybe he's insisting on me fixing them because he knows you have enough to do without putting up with his pickiness. Or maybe he thinks I should fix them because I was the one who altered them in the first place. He's not being awful, though. And I really don't mind."

"Okay," Mia says slowly after staring at me for several seconds. "Let me know if you need me to talk to him, though."

"I will. Thanks, Mia."