Chapter 24

I'm grateful for the use of the van, but traffic is worse than ever on the journey. I'm in a hurry, which makes me impatient, and I curse a few other drivers with language that would make my mum blush. Probably not my gran, though. I can barely describe the relief I feel that she'll be alright, though some of the words I heard when my parents were talking with the doctor carve out little pockets of worry in me. I'll talk to my parents later. I'm with my mum—we take care of our family.

I emit another barrage of curses as I come to yet another roundabout— who designed this road?— but I can see the crooked spire of the town in the distance and know I'll be there soon.

It takes longer than I expect to find a parking space, but I eventually manage to squeeze into one and sprint to the Assembly rooms.

As I near the doors, my heart drops. I can hear the familiar three-four time of the waltz and know that I'm too late. I've let Darcy down. Our chance has gone.

I slip in through the large double doors, and the music is being drowned out by the blood pounding in my ears from the sprint and the disappointment that I feel... That Darcy must also be feeling. I need to find him and apologise. He must be here somewhere. I wonder if he can bear to watch. I spy his mum to my right and, thinking he must be close, I make my way through the other spectators to her.

She gives me a smile as I approach.

"Oh Nick, isn't it exciting? I said this year was going to be it for him." She turns back to the dance floor and I follow her line of sight.

All feeling drains from my body as I see Darcy dancing with a woman. Not just any woman, but Krystal Shaw. How did that happen? I can't believe it. My chest constricts and I feel dizzy. I want to go hide somewhere and pretend this day never happened. Instead, I force myself to watch because, well, as painful as it is to me, Darcy is magnificent. Dancing with him is the most amazing feeling in the world, but I also love watching him. Krystal isn't the three-time national champion for nothing, and they look so majestic together. They might not have the flourishes that come with a choreographed and practised routine, but they're easily the best dancers in the room. Even though I'm breaking inside, I can't help but watch them. I can hear the awws and ahhs from the crowds as they sweep round the room together.

I don't know what I was thinking, believing that we could pull it off as a male couple. There's something elegant about watching a male and female dance. It might be the dress, I don't know, but it just looks different. I realise that I've just been hampering Darcy's chances of winning, and if anyone deserves to win, then it's him. He's worked so hard for years. He's talked about it for as long as I can remember, his eyes lighting up at the thought of competing in them. As much as it's cutting me up to see them out there, I feel proud of him. The music ends and they turn. Darcy looks straight at me, his face going ashen grey. I back away, needing some air. I push through the crowd, who all have their eyes trained on Darcy and Krystal, applauding loudly.

I can't get out of the main doors and down the steps fast enough. I lean over the handrail, gasping for breath.

"Nick?" Darcy's voice is quiet.

I turn to face him. He looks distraught, and I don't want to see him like that.

"I'm sorry I was late. I'm glad you got to dance," I say, and his face crumples in on itself.

"I'm sorry..." He trails off and I continue, as I don't want to see him trying to explain himself.

"You looked magnificent together. It was a joy to watch you."

"Nick, it's not like that?—"

"Are you going to dance together at the Nationals? You should, you'll win."

"I don't want?—"

"Yes, you do. We could never win. We know that."

He comes and stands in front of me. I'm just numb. I have to remind myself that this was just a dream, a stupid one on my part, thinking we could dance together in a competition.

"I want to explain."

"Shush," I whisper, and capture his lips in a brief kiss, because I want to taste him, and after the dream of the last few weeks, I want to make sure that part is still real. It's bittersweet.

"I understand," I say. "This is for the best, and after the day I've had, I can't take any more right now."

"Oh shit, Nick. I'm sorry." His face creases, but he still looks cute, and I have to close my eyes briefly to defend myself from it. "Your gran, is she okay?"

"She's broken her leg. She'll be fine, but we have a few things to sort out and I need to go see if my parents are alright."

"I hope she'll be okay," he says, and I nod in affirmation. I see his mum coming down the steps, no doubt coming to look for him to go finish the competition. I don't feel like staying around to watch them, it's too raw for me at the moment.

"Bye Darcy."

"Is it goodbye?" he says, biting his lip hard, as if he needs to feel something. I know that feeling.

"Dancing with Krystal is the right thing to do, but I need a couple of days to get used to it."

His mum has nearly reached us, and as much as I want to kiss him, kiss his hurt away, hoping it will work on mine, too, I don't.

Instead, I give him a quick smile and walk away, wishing this day was already over.