32. Chapter Thirty-two

Why does it have to be easy?

I was in my car, getting ready to drive home, when my therapist's question rang in my skull.

What I was doing was easy. Going home alone without putting myself out there. Keeping my feelings to myself. Not taking a chance they could be, by some miracle, reciprocated. Maintaining a fake relationship with Daisy that was fucking killing me.

I steered my car in the direction of her place. It wasn't too late, and I didn't think I could go another night without saying what I needed to. I had to know where she was. If I was never going to have her, at least my question would be answered and I could figure out how to move on. This…in-between was untenable.

I parked at the curb and jogged up her steps. She must've heard me coming because the door swung open before I could knock.

"Did you forget something?" Her words came out husky, sexy enough to almost bring me to my knees.

"Yeah. I need to say something to you, Daisy."

She stood in her doorway, leaning against the jamb. I was on the landing, outside looking in.

"Okay. Say what you need to, Miles." There was wariness there. Her arms folded around her middle in a protective stance. She was prepared for me to hurt her, but I was almost certain I was about to break myself.

Why does it have to be easy?

Why the hell did this have to be so damn hard?

"The thing is, I can't keep doing this fake dating thing with you. I need to end it tonight."

She flinched like I'd punched her in the face. "Of course. I get it. I—"

"No, I'm not done."

Her mouth flattened into a hard line, and her eyes almost killed me with their shine.

"I can't be fake with you because my feelings are real. They might've always been real, but recently, I seem to have fallen hopefully in love with you."

She gasped a small breath. "Hopelessly?"

I shook my head. "No, I said it right. Being in love with you is all about hope. Hope you might feel a fraction of what I feel for you. Hope you'll be ready to love me back one day. Hope I can keep you when this agreement is over. Hope I am worthy of you. Hope I don't screw things up."

"Miles…"

"You don't have to love me back, Daisy. I'm not expecting that. But I want to know, do I have even a small chance with you? Or is your heart still wrapped up with Andy?" I chuffed. "Or, the third possibility, would I ever be a consideration, even if Andy had never existed? Am I shooting way out of my league here?"

"Stop talking," she ordered, and my heart began to plummet. It didn't get too far before she grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind her. "Sit down, Miles."

Her tone had gone from confused to demanding, brooking no argument. I sat on her couch in her little living room, clinging to my last vestiges of hope. Turning around and walking away when I'd been on the landing would have been a lot easier. Now, surrounded by everything Daisy? I might have to crawl.

She turned to me with flushed cheeks and razor-sharp eyes. "How can you stand on my doorstep and tell me you love me but know nothing about me at all?"

My mouth opened. Closed. I didn't understand. "What?"

"Except for when Andy showed up here, I haven't thought about him. Have I brought him up to you?"

"You had sex with me because—"

She held up her finger. "If you say it was because of him, I'll scream." She stalked into the little living area and sat on the coffee table directly in front of me.

"You asked me if I slept with you to forget, and I did, that's true. You didn't ask what I was forgetting, or why you were the one who could wash it all away."

I stared at her, thinking back to that morning. She was right. I'd made assumptions. I hadn't asked the right questions.

"What were you forgetting, Daisy?"

She scooted to the edge of the table and rested her forearms on my knees. "You've never made me feel like my last name was a negative. From the beginning, you've treated me like a regular person."

"I beg to differ. You have never been regular to me."

Her mouth hitched at the corners, and hope soared. "This is what I mean. When I'm with you, you make it all fade. I can just be Daisy. No matter what we're doing, I feel good, sometimes great, other times wonderful. After a lifetime of just ‘okay,' you are a breath of fresh air. You're sunshine in beautiful human form."

I heard what she was saying, but it was nearly impossible for me to take it in. "You're over Andy?"

Her fingertips dug into my thighs. "Miles…that relationship was important. I once thought I'd spend my life with him. But I came to a realization months ago: he did me a favor by not wanting to marry me. If we hadn't broken up, I would have settled for him, believing that was as good as it got, and I never would have known you. I never would have experienced what it was like not to have to apologize for who I am or where I come from to the person I'm with, fake or otherwise."

I shook my head. "I haven't been pretending with you for a long time, Daisy."

Her breath hitched, and she slowly raised her hand to my cheek. "I didn't think you wanted this."

Turning my head into her hand, I kissed her palm. "I wasn't ready when we met."

"Neither was I," she admitted.

"I've got a year of sobriety. I feel steady, and I think I could be really good to you." I slammed my eyes closed for a second. Now wasn't the time to lose my confidence or sow any doubt. "No. I know I can be really good to you."

Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded. "You've been nothing but good, great, and wonderful to me."

"It's impossible not to be." I kissed her palm again. "We can go slow. You've been the only thing I've been able to think about for a long time, which has put me several steps ahead of you. I can be patient and wait for you to catch up. I don't need you to love me today, so long as I know there's a possibility you might in the future."

"Oh, Miles," she whispered. "How could I not be in love with you? Like you said, it's impossible not to be. I want to be your real girlfriend."

Taking her other hand, I dragged her into my lap and cradled her beautiful fucking face in my palms.

"The second you handed me the bill for the cupcakes I stole, there wasn't a chance on this green earth I wouldn't fall stupidly in love with you, Daisy Ethel Dunham." I placed her palm on my chest, over my pounding heart. "Do you feel that? You did that. You can call yourself my girlfriend, but I'm calling you the commander of my heart. You own me, through and through."

She dove headfirst into my neck, her arms closing around me. We'd hugged, held hands, kissed, had done things that would've made me blush if I'd paused to think too hard. But this…this was the first time I'd had her in my arms with nothing but honesty between us.

"Tell me you love me, Daisy," I murmured into her hair. "I need to hear it so it feels real."

Her soft lips pressed against my throat twice before she raised her head. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes wet, lips swollen. Beautiful girl. My girl.

"I love you, Miles Aldrich." Clear as day, she said the words I never thought I'd hear from her. "I'm going to be good for you."

I dug my fingers into the sides of her hair, holding her head a hairsbreadth from mine. "Not a chance on this green earth, Cupcake. I'm stupidly in love with you, and I'm going to keep you."

High and soft, she uttered one word that was absolutely everything.

"Okay."

My mouth met hers in a slow, thorough binding. Sealed together, our breath and tongues mingled. Daisy might not have known it, but this kiss was a contract. She'd have to sue me to get out of it. I wasn't worried about that. What good was my money if I couldn't use it to tie her up in court for the rest of her life?

I wasn't going to fuck this up, though. She'd have no reason to check the fine print of what she'd agreed to when her lips moved over mine.

She shifted in my lap to straddle me and plastered herself to my chest. Her elbows were on my shoulders, fingers in my hair, mouth melded to mine.

We kissed until crickets ruled the night. Kissed away our lingering doubts, until there was no question this was real. Our cores were pressed together, hot and aroused, but kissing was the point. We made out like time was endless, and I loved every second of it.

"I love you," she breathed against my lips.

"I love you," I returned.

"I'll love you more if you touch me."

I slipped my hands beneath the hem of her dress and palmed her ass. "Like this?"

"That's a good start."

"You can touch me too."

Given permission, she scrambled to unbutton my shirt. When she had it open, her hands splayed on my chest, she released a sigh of pleasure into my mouth.

I dragged my finger along the valley of her ass, nudging her thong aside to get to her slick skin. God, how long had it been since I'd touched her there?

Years or weeks, it'd been far, far too long.

She must've felt the same way. She went for my belt, yanking the buckle open and making fast work of the zipper. Freeing me from my boxers, her fingers wrapped around my length, and she released another sigh of relief.

"Missed that?" I asked, half-amused.

"I really did. I want you inside me, Miles. I need you there, to confirm you're really mine and it isn't going away."

"It's not going away. I'm yours."

She nodded. "And I'm truly yours."

I helped her rise on her knees and align the head of my cock with her entrance. She took me slowly, struggling slightly as she lowered herself little by little until her backside hit my thighs.

"God, Miles. I forgot." She shuddered, goosebumps pricking her arms.

"I'm not going to let you forget what this feels like ever again."

We stayed like that, me fully seated, her inner walls clenching around me. Raking my hair, she kissed my jaw and forehead, then murmured how good I felt inside her before her lips touched the corner of mine.

The straps of her dress slipped from her shoulders, and I hooked my finger through them, bringing them down the rest of the way and tugging her bodice until her breasts were free. She rose, and I dipped, taking her pebbled nipple in my mouth and suckling like the starving man I was. Ravenous for her—her attention, touch, everything.

Daisy moved over me, holding my shoulders to help her work her way up and down. I let her have her way, needing her to want me as badly as I craved her.

"Miles." Her head fell back, revealing the pale column of her neck. "God, Miles."

Her body had gotten used to mine, each slide up and down easier, smoother. I couldn't take my eyes off her or my mouth off her skin. My brain was still catching up that she was mine, but my heart knew. It thrummed in my chest, and a pulse of rightness spread through the rest of me.

Right girl.

Right time.

Right place.

Stars and circumstances had aligned for us. Maybe I was overly confident, but I was almost sure they were going to keep aligning.

As long as we both wanted this as much as we did today.

Daisy's mouth balanced on mine as she rolled her hips in tight circles, moaning from the continuous contact. My gorgeous girl was taking what she needed from me, and I willingly handed it over. Her pleasure was mine. All I needed was for her to get herself off, and I would follow.

"Beautiful, Daisy. Use me." Gripping her hips, I ground her down into my pelvis. Her eyes flashed, and her mouth fell open, hot pants skimming my lips. "Come on, gorgeous girl. Take what you need and let go."

Nails digging into my shoulders, she rode me with purpose and meaning. Her little breaths hit me each time she reached the bottom. I watched her in awe, her beauty, confidence, how she felt around me, on top of me, everything about her claiming every ounce of my attention.

Her eyes fell on mine at the last moment, and her lips curved into an almost-smile I returned. I had to. She made me that fucking happy. Even on the verge of coming, I was blasting her with a loopy smile.

Head falling back again, she moaned my name and yanked on my hair. Her inner walls pulsed around my cock as she rolled and rolled her hips. That was all it took for me to follow her over, growling her name and fastening her to me with my teeth on her neck.

Once we'd rung every drop from one another, I pulled out and flipped her on her back. She whimpered as I buried my face between her legs, tasting the two of us mingled together. That was all it took to get my softening dick back to full mast. Ignoring it, I took my time lapping her sweet cunt.

Between her moans, she asked me why I was doing this, saying she'd already come, reminding me I didn't have to.

As if she thought this was for her.

She didn't understand yet, but her pussy was going to be my main sustenance.

Only when her thighs trembled and she shoved me away did I stop. Raising on my knees, I kissed along her thigh and calf. Reaching her ankle, I licked the delicate bones and nuzzled my nose into the arch of her foot.

I looked down at her, dazed and sweaty. She was blinking up at me with that same half-smile, and for the first time in my life, I knew I was enough. For her, for myself, for what we were going to build.

"You're a monster," she slurred.

I fell over her, growling into her neck. "Monster for you, Cupcake."

Wrapping her limbs around me, she sighed. "For me."

"Only ever you," I agreed.