30. Chapter Thirty

My mama tapped on my door as I was getting ready to head out. Tonight was my last shift at High Bar, and I was running late. I hated being late.

"Look." She held up a handful of black material.

"What am I looking at?" I asked.

She shook the material out and pinched it between her fingers. "It's Reed's Andes vest."

I gasped, shocked at the state of it. Dirty and ripped in a couple spots, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Reed had loved his vest. How could he have let it get like this?

"He hasn't been wearing it lately but wouldn't tell me why. You think he might've torn it up riding his bike?"

She shook her head. "He hid this. Dad found it this morning when he ran something out to the garbage at the curb. Reed must've snuck it in there last night after Dad put the can out. I was hoping he'd said something to you about it."

"No," I whispered. "He hasn't said anything. In fact, when Miles asked him where his vest was, he made excuses."

"Something's not right. I don't like him being secretive."

She didn't need to say it reminded her too much of Quinn.

"I don't like it either, but he also has a right to privacy. Let's just keep an ear out, and I'll ask Miles to be vigilant too. All right?"

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I suppose that's all we can do." Then she looked me over. "You look gorgeous. Are you goin' to work?"

"Yep. I told Nick I'm done. I've picked up too much web work, and I see Grazing taking off in the coming months. I don't need three jobs."

She held up her hand, and I slapped my palm against hers. "Good goin', babe. I'm so proud of you for taking a chance and going after what you've always wanted. Do you know how few people do that? How many live stagnant because it feels safe?"

Why did my mind conjure Miles' smiling face? I might as well have kicked myself in the shin.

"I don't know, Mama. I just know it feels good to be moving forward."

I just had to swallow down the bad and concentrate on what I had.

Duke and Lloyd were making me wistful. Nick's foul mood, on the other hand, was making my decision to leave High Bar a lot easier.

Nick had no reason to snark at me. I wasn't even really his employee. Me arriving ten minutes late barely affected him. He gave me attitude anyway and had been ever since.

About an hour into my shift, a group of women sitting in Bea's section waved me down. When I recognized them, my mood lifted. Saoirse, Elise, Clara, and Shira were here.

I walked over to their table with a big smile. "Cupcakes, charc cups?" I offered.

"Oh my god, how cute are you?" Saoirse exclaimed.

Elise pressed her hands to her cheeks, her diamond-encrusted wedding band glinting in the light. "I love this whole thing. You look like you stepped out of a movie from the fifties."

"Thank you." I did a little curtsy. "You're lucky you came in tonight. It's my last one. I'm retiring from being a cupcake girl."

"Oh, I know. Miles told us, so we planned an impromptu girl's night," Elise explained. "We couldn't miss this."

Again, thoughts of Miles left me with a sharp pain. Since Elise and Weston's wedding two weeks ago, we'd had a couple dinners, worked on his house, and had gone to two events, but it hadn't been the same. We'd kept a respectful distance. No hugging, no flirting, nothing. Even faking it in public together, at most, he'd graze my back or brush my arm. Except once.

We had sex last weekend, and it had been nothing like the first time. As impersonal as possible, Miles managed to be inside me while barely touching me. Never kissing me. Not looking at me. He hadn't been mean, nor had he made me feel used. It had just been another brick in the wall he'd mounted between us, and it made me heavy with sadness.

Goodness didn't come free. Filling myself with everything lovely and bright and wonderful that was Miles had left me feeling ugly and dark and awful when I'd left that hotel two weekends ago, and it hadn't waned.

Forlorn I now knew what I wanted and couldn't have it.

Miles had made it clear he wasn't interested in dating or anything more. I hadn't thought I would be so soon, but that was before I'd known someone like Miles Aldrich was a possibility.

Except…I didn't want someone like him. For me, it was Miles or no one at all.

Taking in a deep breath, I turned to Clara and Shira, whom I'd only met once in far different circumstances. Both looked beautiful, Clara with her sleek bob and clear, perfect skin, and Shira with her long, dark waves and elfin features—though, Shira seemed slightly shrunken in on herself.

It was hard to believe it had been nearly three months since they'd overheard my conversation with my mama in the funeral home. I felt like I was a different person than I'd been back then.

"It's so nice to see you again," I said to them. "I've been wanting to properly thank you, but my go-to gift is cupcakes, and that won't cut it this time."

Clara waved me off. "Please don't think I'm ever above accepting cupcakes."

I cast my hand over my tray. "Well, take your pick for a sneak peek."

Clara plucked a couple off my tray, and I turned to Shira, forcing her to as well. She was far more reticent, reaching in slowly and only taking one.

I wanted to ask her how she was. If the ache of losing her husband was still just as bad. Was she lonely? Did she wake up and have to remember her husband was dead all over again?

Of course, I kept my mouth shut.

"You should join us," Saoirse suggested.

"Yes." Elise perked up. "Can you come hang out? Or will your boss get pissed?"

"Considering I'm my own boss and I'd love to hang out, chances are low I'm going to get pissed." I placed a couple charc cups and several cupcakes on the table. "I'm going to drop off my tray. I'll be right back."

Ducking behind the bar, I hustled into the back room and deposited my tray on the little table reserved for me. I took off my hat and threw a hoodie over my skimpy outfit, then turned to rejoin my friends when Nick appeared in the doorway.

"It's barely ten," he gruffed.

"I'm not leaving. Just a break."

His brow pinched. "You don't take breaks."

"I do when I need one. I have friends here I'd like to spend time with." I put my hands on my hips. "What's up with you tonight?"

He folded his arms across his chest. "I think it's obvious, D. I'm not happy about you leaving, and I worry your little business venture will blow up and you'll be without an income."

"Your worry is unwarranted, Nick. I have a big brother for that." I wasn't about to discuss the intricacies of my income. That was none of his business.

"Beau's not around. I am. I'm going to step up—"

"Nope." I raised my hand. "I appreciate all you've done by letting me work here, but this isn't necessary. I'm doing really well, and if I happen to struggle, I have my family to back me up. Now, if you'd let me pass, I'd like to go see my friends."

He hesitated for a drawn-out moment, and I became nervous he wouldn't let me by. Finally, he did, and I shot past him with an edge of panic. I really didn't like the way Nick had been behaving, like he had some hold over me. He was my brother's old friend. After tonight, that was all he'd ever be. If he wanted more than that, he needed to get over it.

I passed Bea on my way to our table. We'd done two Grazing jobs together recently, and I felt like we'd been bonding. She was certainly a quick learner, grasping my vision right away, and to tell the truth, working with her was more fun than by myself—especially with the unabating loneliness I couldn't seem to shake lately.

"Hey, love. Can you grab me a pink lemonade, please?" I asked.

"Sure. I'll add it to my long, long list," she deadpanned. "Was Nick bothering you back there?"

"He's doing the whole big brother routine."

Her brow winged. "Big brothers don't want to fuck you."

I scrunched my nose. "Gross. Never say anything like that to me again."

She went on her way to the bar, and I wove between tables back to ladies' night.

Elise pulled out the chair beside hers, welcoming me back. "You're back to normal and still cute as a button."

I snorted a laugh. "Thanks. I don't think anyone's called me that since I was a child."

She balanced her chin on her fists. "Oh yeah, I get that. You give off a whole tough girl vibe. But I've seen you being lovey with my brother-in-law. It's kind of impossible for me to be intimidated by you anymore."

I gaped at her. "You intimidated by me? You're all, like…fucking gorgeous—and you're married to Weston freaking Aldrich. I don't get it."

"First, thanks for saying I'm hot. I appreciate it." She flashed me a dimpled grin. "Second, yes, my husband is who he is, but I'm just a girl who fell in love with a boy I've known since we were kids."

I bumped her shoulder. "A boy who turned into a very hot man."

"Damn right," she agreed.

From across the table, Clara lifted her glass. "I was already devastated at having to miss Elise and Weston's wedding, and when I heard you and Miles are a couple, I nearly wept. I feel like a matchmaker."

I forced a smile, hoping it wasn't as off-kilter as it felt. "I guess you are. Though, technically, Miles and I had already met and exchanged numbers before I went to Peak—"

Clara held up her hand. "Please. I'm a single mom of a toddler. I have so few victories. Let me have this one."

Bea dropped my lemonade off just in time for me to raise it in cheers. "Thanks for introducing me to Miles. He's the most wonderful surprise." And I meant that completely. Even if he wasn't truly mine, I would never regret knowing him.

Saoirse blinked rapidly, using her hands to fan her eyes. Shira patted her arm, and I frowned, confused at her reaction.

"Sorry." She laughed. "It's just…Miles isn't only my business partner, he's one of my best friends. I've seen how hard he's worked to get his shit together over the last year, all quietly and in the background so he wouldn't let anyone down in case he failed. I'm proud of him, and I'm happy he's found someone who sees how wonderful he is."

Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. If only this were real and finding Miles meant happiness, not this aching heart.

Elise sighed. "Weston is beside himself for not realizing Miles was sober. He sat and recounted each time he'd offered Miles a drink over the last year. It was…too many. I'm certain I did too. Fortunately, he hadn't kept track of that."

"Miles doesn't blame him…or you." I sipped my drink. "I don't want to speak for him, of course, but I do know he's very self-aware and sees your and his brother's mistrust as a byproduct for his past behavior."

Clara lifted her drink. "Here's to growing and learning. May the past not cast a shadow on the future."

She gave Shira a pointed look and clinked her glass.

"Cheers," Shira murmured. "Let's hope that can be true for all of us."

"Speaking of celebrating Miles…" All eyes around the table ended up on me. "He'll be one-year sober on Thursday. I want to throw him a small surprise party to celebrate. We can do it at my place. It's tight, but so long as the weather cooperates, we can use the back patio. That is…if you all are interested in coming."

Elise, Saoirse, and Clara spoke at once, while Shira gave me a sad, polite almost-smile. For a moment, just looking at her gave me an unbearable sense of melancholy. There was something exquisitely sad about her. She was lovely and tragic. I wondered if she missed her husband every second of every day, or if minutes passed in which she didn't think of him. I wondered if it had gotten better in the three months since we met, or if the pain had only become more acute. She probably could have used a Whitney Mae hug. I knew my mother would have loved to squeeze some of the sadness out of her. She was an expert at that.

We discussed party plans for Miles, and it was decided he needed all the cupcakes his heart could desire. Luca would grill, Weston would supervise. Saoirse would bake, and I had already roped my mama into making sides. Pink lemonade for all. Lots and lots of love and support for Miles.

Elise suddenly stopped speaking, frowning at something over my shoulder. I turned to check for monsters, but the only person I noticed was Nick, stopping by each table as he headed in our direction.

"Is that Nick Garcia?" Elise asked.

"Yes. Nick owns this place," I replied.

"Do we know him?" Saoirse chirped. "Do we hate him?"

"I used to know him. I'm happy to say I don't anymore." Elise had soft features, and her eyes and smile were welcoming without trying. She wasn't made to give hardened, vicious looks, but that was exactly what she shot Nick. "I went to high school with him. Barely survived him."

Shira looked over her shoulder, worried. Saoirse sucked in air through her teeth.

"That doofus is the guy who—" Saoirse cut herself off when Elise nodded.

"He bullied you?" I asked.

"He was cruel to everyone who wasn't part of his group. I don't even blame Miles for being his friend. If you weren't, you were a target, and my ass made a sizable target." Elise shook her head. "I'm over high school, but damn, seeing that man brings me back."

I touched her hand lightly. "People were cruel little shits to me, so I get it. It shapes who you are. I just…I guess I knew Nick and Miles were friends, and I'm aware Miles had been a bully in his own right, but I didn't suspect Nick…I didn't know…"

"When my mom died, everyone else backed off. Especially Miles," Elise explained. "But Nick took them going easy as his signal to dig deeper. He started a rumor that my mother had killed herself to get away from me. For a year, he whispered, ‘mother killer,' every time he passed me in the hall. He was an absolute demon."

That was all I needed to hear. Pushing back from the table, I told them I would take care of this, and headed Nick off at the pass. His eyes lit up when I grabbed his shirt sleeve.

"Hey, I was just coming to say hello to your friends." He chuckled as I yanked him in the opposite direction. "If you need to talk in private, I'm game for that too."

If I said something now, I'd end up screaming in his face, and I had enough respect for the customers and my coworkers not to ruin their night. Biting my tongue, I dragged him with me to the back room. Once the door closed behind him, I spun around to face him head on.

"You know, Nick, it's interesting how you warned me away from Miles Aldrich—"

He groaned. "Wait. You're not still hanging around him, are you? If you are, I'm going to have to talk to Beau about this. He won't approve."

"Isn't Miles your friend, Nick?"

"He's an acquaintance more than anything." He folded his arms over his chest. "Why are we talking about him anyway?"

"Because one of my friends is his sister-in-law. Her last name was Levy back in high school. Remember her?"

If I hadn't watched his face pale, I might have believed his "aw shucks" gestures: scratching his head, shrugging his shoulders, a lopsided smile.

"High school was a long time ago," he stated.

"But you remembered what Miles had been up to without any trouble."

"Why are we talking about Miles?" He snatched my arm and pulled me toward him. "Why are you hanging out with his sister-in-law?"

"I told you, Elise is my friend, you jackass." I yanked my arm free from his light grasp. "Are you actually going to pretend you don"t remember what you did to her?"

He tried the innocent shrug again. "Everyone did shit they regret when they were young. If you want me to apologize to her right now, I will."

"What would you apologize to her for? Specifically?"

"Uh…" He rubbed his jaw until it was red. "I probably shouldn't have said shit about her being an orphan."

My stomach sank to the floor. Nick was just another disappointing man. Fortunately, I'd never been particularly attached to him, but he'd been on the periphery of my life since I was a kid. It was painful to realize he wasn't who I thought he was.

"So, you do remember her and were playing dumb." I put my hands on my hips. "Warning me away from Miles when you were ten times worse is rich."

His eyes narrowed. "You keep bringing him up. Don't tell me you're fucking him."

"None of your business."

"Goddammit, Daisy." He shoved his fingers into his hair. "You finally got rid of the asshole who rode your coattails all those years, and now you're going after another one? What about dating someone who cares about you for you? Who knows you like no one else does?"

"Who I date is none of your business."

"What if I want it to be?" He tried one of his trademark meaningful looks, all soft eyes and crinkled brow. It was too much. Way too much.

I barked a laugh. "No. Are you kidding? Absolutely not."

His dark brows angled into thunderbolts. "No, I'm not kidding. Beau approves, and I—"

"Oh my god, Beau approves? You talked to my brother about dating me even though I've never shown a drop of interest in being anything more than what we are? Come on, Nick." I shook my head, spotting my tray and silly little hat sitting on the table he always kept empty for me. There was no way I could bear putting my costume back on tonight. Not after this.

"Just calm down." He laid his hands on my shoulders and lowered his voice like he was talking to a child or hysterical woman.

I wasn't hysterical.

I was pissed off.

"You tried to ruin my friend's life for absolutely no reason." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You trash-talking Miles, your friend, should have been my first clue about the type of man you are. Now, I know for sure. I'm going to get my things and take my friends somewhere else. Their drinks are on the house, by the way."

"Daisy," he bit out, his hold on me tightening, "there's no way I'm letting you—"

The door swung open behind him, and Bea sauntered in, her tray tucked under her arm.

"How's tricks, kittens?" she asked, her eyes sliding back and forth between us.

I shrugged out from under Nick's hands and backed up a couple steps. "I was just telling Nick I'm taking off early. He's not too pleased."

"Hmmm." Bea popped a hip, considering the two of us. "Your friends asked me to check on you. Looks like I showed up just in time to help you pack your things, huh?"

"Daisy…" Nick tried, "please. Let's have a conversation."

"We just did," I said flatly. "Thanks for everything. I'm going to head out as soon as I get packed up."

He waited another few seconds, then stomped to his office, slamming the door behind him. I was relieved he hadn't gone into the bar. At least Elise wouldn't have to see him again.

Bea helped me gather my things in silence, then she spoke, a tentative edge to her words.

"I want to say Nick's an asshole."

I grinned at her. "True. You called that one."

"Yeah. I have a good spotter." She tucked her blue hair behind one ear. "I'm thinking, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep assisting you."

My head jerked up to look at her. "Of course you're going to keep assisting me."

"Okay, good." She exhaled, pressing a hand to her stomach. "So, I have a sister. She does monthly book clubs. I told her about your business, and she wants to buy a board for her club. Like, a monthly thing."

I nodded. "That's awesome. Get her on the books."

"I will. But I was thinking, maybe you're missing a demographic by going after all the rich people. What about Millennial wine moms? They're always doing book clubs or crafting parties or fundraiser shit. My sister is on the PTA at her kids' school. I think it's an untapped resource."

"Bea!" I never exclaimed, but I did this time. From the way she jumped, I'd alarmed her with my sudden display of enthusiasm. When I threw my arms around her, she actually yelped. "You're brilliant, woman. Millennial wine moms. I love it so much."

She wiggled out of my arms, eyes wide. "Yeah, so, I could probably get us a lot of bookings for boards."

My toes wiggled in my boots with happiness.

"Let's do it."

She shot me a full-wattage smile for probably the first time in our acquaintance. "Let's do it."

After that, I walked out of High Bar for the final time, my girls helping me carry my boxes and bags, cautiously optimistic about what was to come.

Professionally.

That was what I'd hang onto for now.

Because personally, I was still as lost as ever.