Chapter Four

At the end of my frayed self-control

Lucian

Today has been fun but now I need to leave. I've had four beers and my self-control is slipping. Since I first laid eyes on Cassandra in those frayed cut-off shorts, I have been sporting a semi and it's only gotten worse with time.

I can see that she isn't overly self-confident and I assume that has something to do with her divorce. Her husband cheated. I know because she got so defensive when I asked. I stare at her, taking in her natural beauty and I can't imagine that any man lucky enough to catch her attention would ever be that stupid. I know I wouldn't be.

I also know if I stay here any longer I am going to do something one or both of us will regret in the morning. I find myself wanting to know her better so I don't want to screw this up.

"Thanks for the beer and pizza, Cassandra," I say, standing from my spot by the counter. "Let me know if you need any more help. I'll be around."

She smiles softly but it doesn't reach her eyes before she follows me to the door. Even when she is laughing there is a tinge of sadness that hangs around her and I hope I get the chance to kick her ex-husband's ass. His actions have left her feeling vulnerable and unwanted.

"I'm sure you have better things to do than to assemble my furniture, Lucian."

I shake my head. Fuck, I like how this little bird says my name. Actually, there are quite a few things I like about her. We stare at one another for long, tense moments and I almost lean in to kiss her. Almost.

But now isn't the right time.

"I'm here if you need me. For anything," I say with one last smile.

Turning away from her, I head to my own apartment. The silence envelopes me and I instantly miss her laughter. I rip my shirt over my head, standing in my living room, filled with frustration and longing. All this for a woman I barely know.

What the fuck is going on with me? Am I really that lonely? It's not that she isn't a great woman but I've never been this enraptured by a female in my entire life.

I stare around my apartment and I notice how bare it looks. Casandra has art and photos against her wall, I have a flat-screen TV. There are no magazines or plants. This isn't a home like hers, no this is just where I shower and sleep.

Maybe I should grab a shower and rub one out before bed? My mind drifts from the state of my apartment to fill with dirty thoughts of my spunky little neighbor so I definitely won't need any extra stimulation. Seems like a solid idea.

A knock sounds on the front door before I can decide what to do with myself. Who the hell would be here after nine at night?

Swinging the door open, I find the object of my obsession.

"Cassandra," I say in shock. "Is something wrong?"

I look down the hallway but we are the only people on the floor and I don't hear Tyler even though I see the monitor hooked onto a loop in her jeans.

"No," she shakes her head. "You said if I needed anything else, I could come to you."

I watch her blush a deep shade of red. That's interesting. Leaning against the door jamb I smile at her.

"Sure. What do you need?"

"It's a big thing to ask a virtual stranger and I want you to know you can say no. I won't be angry or offended."

"I can't answer if you don't ask," I cut in with a chuckle.

She stares at me, tilting her chin up and straightening her back.

"I need a fuck buddy."

"Jesus wept, woman!" I grab her hand and pull her into my apartment, slamming the door shut. "You can't just say shit like that where anyone can hear you."

"Why not?" she asks, glancing at me from beneath her lashes.

"Because I don't need anyone knowing our business."

I push her against the wall, caging her in with my arms. Then I do what I've wanted to do all day and I kiss her.

Her taste explodes across my senses and I can't help but take more from her. Soft lips pressed against mine, a breathy moan rocking me to my core. With a single kiss, she rocks my world and my soul to the core. And she doesn't even know it.

I may not understand it, or even be able to explain it, but I do know that my world and my life are changing rapidly. Instead of wanting to hold back or run from the unknown feelings she awakens in me, I allow myself to free fall into whatever the hell this is.