22

Siiri

I flee Lumi and the Sámi village, praying Kal will follow. Using the north star as my guide, I run until my lungs burn with fire, until my legs are numb and sweat slicks my tunic to my back. Only when I feel faint do I stop running.

I drop the pack and rolled furs at my feet. I hunch over in the snow, hands on my knees, heaving, but there’s nothing in my stomach. Black spots dance at the corners of my vision. The snowy ground around me begins to spin.

How did everything fall so perfectly apart? What am I going to do now? I have no supplies, no guide. How will I find my way to V?in?moinen on my own? He doesn’t want to be found. The goddess had said Kal was the key. Without the bear, I have no hope.

Even if Kal finds me, and together we find the shaman, what assurance do I have that he’ll help me save Aina? Two goddesses and a witch have now warned me that V?in?moinen will refuse. And why should he help me? Who am I to demand this favor?

I groan, heart racing in my chest. I have nothing left. There is nothing. Even if I somehow reach Aina, how can I bring her home in the dead of winter with no supplies? I would save her from one cruel fate just to deliver her into another. Either way, she ends up in Tuonela.

“No,” I pant, clutching my chest. I can’t breathe. The cold air feels like knives piercing me. Oh gods, I’m losing her all over again. I’m failing her. I’ve failed so many times. My mummi was wrong; Milja was wrong. I was never strong enough for this task. I fear the next failure will end with my death.

“Gods, help me,” I whisper into the dark.

Silence is the only reply. Silence and loneliness and crippling doubt. They wrap around me like a shroud, suffocating me. I fall to my knees in the snow, the strength leaving my legs.

“Please,” I say, not knowing which god will hear my prayers. “Do not abandon me to this despair. Show me the way.” Tipping my head back, I gaze up into the starry night sky, looking for a sign.

The darkness erupts with an eerie light. Is this Lumi’s magic? I go still, my breath catching in my chest, ready to run again. High above me, off in the distance, a river of green dances its way across the sky. The colors change, flashing in waves of white, purple, and blue. The river flows between the stars, shimmering like water, burning like flame.

“Oh gods...” Hands braced behind my head, I watch the lights dance. “Revontulet.”

The great foxfires of the north. I’ve never seen them with my own eyes. They say the colors are made from the flaming tail of a tulikettu, a firefox. The men of the north hunt him, determined to claim the strength of his v?ki. So, he runs. The firefox runs so fast across the snow that his tail sparks, lighting up the sky.

I smile as peace fills me. This is surely a sign. V?in?moinen is like the great firefox. Many have gone in search of him, and yet he cannot be found. He lives on, lighting up the sky, showing me the way.

“I see you,” I whisper to that river of light. A flicker of hope glows in my chest, so weak and precious. Aina is alive. V?in?moinen is alive. He will help me save her. And then, he’ll help save us all. “I am coming,” I say, tracing the river of light as it dances over the hills. “On my knees, I will crawl to you, oh great V?in?moinen, oldest and wisest of shamans. Revontulet, show me the way.”

The river of light elongates, moving in a great dance, blanketing this snowy hillside, which glows blue, purple, and green. A deep grunting sound makes me turn. I jerk my axe free from my belt, heart pounding. Kal snorts in welcome, bounding through the snow to join me at my side.

“Oh, thank the gods,” I cry, wrapping my arms around his massive head. His breath is hot, his great mouth open as he pants. I pull back, brushing my fingers over his snout. “Lumi didn’t hurt you, did she?”

He grunts, and I step back, looking for injury.

“I’m so sorry, Kal. Gods, I shouldn’t have gone in there. It was foolish, but I was desperate. Now, I have nothing left. No food, no shelter. Please tell me we’re close. Otherwise, I’m dead.”

He grunts again, pushing past me, ready to lead the way.

Tucking my axe in at my belt, I hurry after him. “Kal—wait. Lumi is the one who’s after you.” I brace my hand at his back as we make our way down the hillside. The foxfires still dance in the sky above us.

“She trapped you in that pit,” I go on. “She knows you know the way to V?in?moinen.” I pant, my feet slipping in the deep snow. “I’ve turned it over in my mind, and I think she let me go. I think she means to follow us, Kal. In this snow, we can’t hide our tracks.”

He just grunts, trotting the last distance down the hill. An expanse of flat tundra opens before us, ending in another sloping, forested hill some three hundred yards away.

I pause, taking in the landscape. “We should go around, stick to the trees.”

But Kal doesn’t listen. He just charges across the open snow, cast in an eerie green by the light above.

“Kal, she’ll follow us,” I shout, running after him. “We’re not safe out here. It’s too exposed. V?in?moinen’s not safe either. We’ll be leading her right to him—”

From behind us, at the top of the hill, wolves howl. The sound raises all the fine hairs on my arms. Their song is a war cry. They’re coming for us.

I look to Kal. “Tell me she doesn’t have wolves.”

He just grunts, his breath coming in a puff of white mist.

The wolves howl again, closer now, moving quickly.

Taking a deep breath, I shoulder my pack. “Kal, run !”

We take off at a sprint. All we can do is try to make it to the trees. And I’m so tired, so weak. I want to surrender. I want to sleep for a thousand years. But Kal needs me. Aina needs me. Nothing is finished yet.

Behind us, the wolves break through the trees, yipping and howling with excitement, knowing the hunt is on. Over my shoulder is a haunting sight—Lumi has four of the wolves harnessed to a massive sled. Her staff casts a moon-white glow all around. They’re gaining ground. We’ll never outrun them.

Lumi is a powerful witch, but she’s not powerful enough to find V?in?moinen on her own. If the gods were on her side, would they not help her? Could she not call on them to come to her aid? The thought makes the flame of hope in my chest burn brighter. They don’t want to help her. She’s not worthy of finding him.

But you are , comes Aina’s soft voice in my mind.

You can do anything you set your mind to , says Milja.

You were born to love with your whole heart , Mummi whispers, her hand soft on my brow.

Love guides my steps. Love of my friend, of my family, my people. Lumi wants to find the shaman for herself. Undoubtedly, she means to abuse his power for her own ends. I want to find the shaman for the good of others.

Lumi has prayed for this moment. She’s prayed for V?in?moinen to fall within her grasp, but the gods have not seen fit to answer her prayers.

I smile, gazing up at the river of light in the sky.

The gods answer me.

“Ututytto,” I cry out to the night. I cut my palm open on the blade of my axe, spilling my blood onto the white snow. “Maiden of the Mist, I beseech you. Hide us from this witch’s eyes. Help us!”

The wolves snarl, calling out as they race behind us.

“I want that bear alive,” Lumi calls across the snow.

“Goddess, please ,” I pant, squeezing my bleeding palm. “Help us, or we die.”

A boom echoes across the vast open space. Kal slides to a halt, his eyes wide. I do too, swaying on my feet from fatigue. All around us, the snow rises off the tundra, swirling and billowing in the air. The foxfire tints the mist blue-green. We hear the wolves’ confused yips as the eerie fog envelops us.

“Ututytto has listened,” I cry. “She’s helping us, Kal.”

Behind us, Lumi shrieks, pounding her light staff, trying to pierce the fog. A fork of lightning casts a bright light overhead, but it just makes the fog shine greenish white. The fog swirls so thick, I can hardly see my hand before my face.

I grip Kal’s fur and climb onto his back. He grunts, lowering himself to the ground to let me on. “Run,” I whisper.

He takes off, his massive form bounding across the snow. I hold on tight, snow whipping at my cheeks as the bear races forward. Behind us, the wolves yip as the witch shouts.

Crack.

The ground beneath Kal’s feet rumbles and shakes; I feel it through his body. Deep thunder echoes off the trees. I know this sound like I know the beating of my own heart. “Oh gods, no—”

We’re not on a frozen tundra. This is a frozen lake and Lumi is breaking the ice with her magic staff.

“You’re mine, V?in?moinen,” the witch screams. “Show yourself, coward! Save them if you dare!” All around us, the wolves howl, circling closer, tightening their trap.

I lean over to whisper in Kal’s ear. “Keep running. We can make it.”

But the bear grunts, shrugging his shoulders as if he wants me to get off.

“Kal, no—”

He rises up on his hind legs, and I shriek, falling backwards into the snow. I roll to my feet, hands outstretched towards him. “Kal, come on.”

He drops back down and gives me a push with his snout, urging me to keep moving.

“I can’t find him without you. Kal, please —”

He shoves me once more. Spinning around, he stands up on his back feet. With a mighty roar, he slams his paws down on the ice.

I gasp, feeling it weaken under me. A deep rumble echoes across the ice. “Kal, don’t—”

The bear turns his head, his eyes now glowing blue-white, lit from within by a magic that gives him impossible strength. The same light shines from his open mouth. The look on his face is clear.

Run .

He turns away from me and pushes up onto his hind feet again. He towers in the mist, twice as tall as any man. With another roar, he slams his front feet down onto the ice until it splits. From deep in the fog, a wolf yelps, followed by a splash.

I scramble to my feet, inching away from the crack. Kal tries to balance with his front and back paws on different floes, his heavy weight tipping them. His eyes still glow with magic as a wolf leaps from the swirling mist onto his back. Kal roars, twisting around to dislodge it. He and the wolf both cry out in panic, their claws scratching the ice as it tips.

“No!” I scramble backwards, too afraid to stand.

“Take them alive,” the witch shrieks. “I need that bear alive, you fools!”

The crack in the ice rumbles beneath me, right between my braced hands. All around, the wolves howl. Lumi’s glowing staff signals her approach through the mist.

I flip onto my stomach and push myself up. I have to get off this ice. I have to—

Crack.

The ice splits between my feet. One moment I’m standing on solid ground, the next my axe drops from my hand, and I’m falling backwards, my weight tipping a floe of ice high into the air. My arms windmill uselessly through the air as I crash into the black water. A thousand tiny knives stab me all over, stealing the air from my lungs, as I begin to sink. The shock of the cold water nearly paralyzes me.

Swim , comes that soft, soothing voice. Fight, Siiri .

The goddess is here. She’s with me. I am not alone. Hope burns in my chest. I’m not ready to die. I’m not ready to give up.

I kick for the surface, fighting the weight of my sodden furs. My feet are useless in these boots. My hands hit ice above, and I scream, bubbles of air erupting from my lips. The floe has righted itself, trapping me. I pound on it with my fists to no avail.

Above me, Kal roars, throwing his weight downward. The ice sheet shifts, and I surface, buffeted by the water as it breaks around the floes. I gasp for air, coughing and sputtering, looking for anything to hold onto. I’m so weak, I can’t pull myself out.

Two wolves leap over me out of the mist. With a panicked roar, Kal rolls backwards, and the floe comes crashing down. I barely take a breath before I’m forced beneath the surface again.

Keep fighting, Siiri , the goddess urges.

I fought to the bitter end. When the ferrywoman asks me how I lived and how I died, I can tell her I was a fighter. But there’s no fight left in me now. I fought, and now the fight is over.

Come back to me , Aina whispers.

I’m coming, Aina. Wait for me. Beloved, I’m coming.

In the icy depths, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with cold water, surrendering my life.

Come back...