12

Siiri

I slip down from the stone altar as I scan the sacred alder grove for the source of the voice. There, standing where I’d dropped my weapons, is the woman from the woods. Like Tellervo, her beauty is breathtaking. She wears robes of white that drape around her slender shoulders. Her night-black hair falls in a glistening sheet down her back, almost trailing on the ground. It’s parted perfectly down the center, framing her child-like face. The blue of her eyes glows almost white, the hint of a smile tipping her lips. In the woods, I wasn’t sure if she was a goddess or a shamaness. But now that I see her face, I know. She’s another goddess.

She tsks her tongue, looking at the broken cross. “Do you not fear the wrath of the foreign god?”

I square my shoulders at her. “The foreign god can get on his longboat and sail back to Sweden. We have no need of him or his zealots here.”

Her smile falls as she considers me, tilting her head slightly to the side. “The old gods are dead, hadn’t you heard?”

“Then tell me how you’re standing here.”

“Maybe I’m a witch,” she muses.

“You were with me the other night. In the woods, after Kalma took my friend. You got me to my feet.”

“You got yourself to your feet.”

“You helped me.”

“You helped yourself,” she counters. “I did nothing.”

“You were there,” I press. “I wanted to die, and you called me back from the brink. You gave me the hope to stand, to keep fighting.”

“You already had hope. I just reminded you of where you’d temporarily misplaced it.”

I search her face. “Who are you?”

“A friend.” As if to prove her point, she lifts her hand from her side, holding out my discarded hatchet.

I tense, not having realized she’d picked it up. She had it hidden in the folds of her robes. Crossing the clearing, I tuck it back in my belt. She holds out my knife with her other hand, and I do the same, slipping it back in its sheath at my hip.

She watches me adjust my belt. “Do those help?”

“Well, they can’t hurt,” I reply, grateful to feel their weight at my hips again.

She shrugs a narrow shoulder. “Where I’m from, they’re not very useful.”

“And where is that?”

She ignores my question. “I heard you’re looking for V?in?moinen. I assume my cousin wasn’t forthcoming with her aid?”

“No, she wasn’t.”

She nods, lips pursed in curiosity as she surveys me. “She’s angry. And bone-weary with grief. Don’t judge her too harshly.”

“Why does she grieve?”

“A life-giving goddess will always grieve death,” she replies. “And there is so much death now. It infects everything. She is powerless to right the balance, so she grieves.”

“And what if V?in?moinen could help restore the balance? What if he could return order to life and death? Would you help me find him?”

“You assume life and death are out of balance.”

I blink, confused. “But you just said—”

“I said she is powerless to right the balance, and she is. There is no one in this realm who can mend what is broken. Not even your lost shaman.”

My shoulders sag with frustration. “Well, then, it’s hope- less.”

She lets out a little laugh. “My, how changeable you are. You’re worse than a spring morning. Rain or snow. Rain or snow. You can’t make up your mind.”

I glare at her, and she just smiles.

“Why do you seek the lost shaman, Siiri?”

“I—” My words fall silent. “You know my name?”

“I know many things.”

There’s no point in lying to this goddess. “Kalma took my friend to Tuonela,” I explain. “For what reason, I don’t know. I need V?in?moinen to help me get her back. Once I do, I intend to convince him to return south with us. I want him to fulfill his prophecy to bring back the true religion. It’s time. You said it yourself.”

She gives me a searching look. “You ask for too much. He will say no.”

“Then I’ll ask again.”

“He will deny you again.”

“I’m persistent.”

She smiles. “‘Stubborn’ is the word he would use.”

I sigh, glancing around the clearing. “Look, he can call me whatever he wants, so long as he helps me save Aina. She sacrificed herself for me, and now she’s in Tuonela. Even if there was no life debt between us, I would still go to her.”

“Why?”

I hold her gaze. “Because she’s my oldest and dearest friend. And because she would do the same for me. Only V?in?moinen can help me reach her now. And despite all your questions and riddles, I think you mean to help me find him. Why else would you appear to me twice?”

“I appear where I’m called,” she replies with a shrug. “As I say, you are stubborn, Siiri... and quite loud.”

“Are youIlmatar?”

“The All-Mother would not concern herself with following the aimless wanderings of one lost girl.”

“My wanderings won’t be aimless, if you help me.” She walks away and I follow. “Goddess, please .” I hold out one of Mummi’s bangles. “I have silver—”

“I have no need of silver.”

“Will I find V?in?moinen if I keep walking north?”

“You cannot find someone who wishes to remain lost,” she calls over her shoulder.

“Tellervo just said the same thing. But you know where he is—”

She spins around, glaring at me. “V?in?moinen is the most powerful shaman ever to have lived. To stay lost for all these years, he’s worked his magic on even the gods. Tellervo cannot help you because she doesn’t know where he is. And neither do I.” She ducks through the stone archway between the elms and calls back, “V?in?moinen must be willing to be found.”

I follow, grunting as my bow catches. “But how—gods— ouch —Goddess, how do we do that?”

She walks right up to Halla, procuring a carrot from the air that she offers to the little reindeer. Halla sniffs it before taking a bite, her ears flicking as she chews. The goddess smiles fondly, giving the animal a pat. “I’ve always liked reindeer.”

I search her face. “Do you think he’ll reveal himself to me?”

She nods.

“Why?”

“Because you’re stubborn... and he likes stubborn.”

I rub my brow with a tired hand. “Can you not just give me a straight answer?”

She turns away from the reindeer, her icy blue eyes locked on me. “Follow the bear, for he is the key. He will unlock the door to V?in?moinen.”

“Follow the—wait, which bear? The one from that pit? But that was two days south of here. Are you saying I should turn around—”

“No, you must continue north.”

I growl in annoyance. “You’re not making any sense.”

She lets out another little laugh, flicking her long sheet of black hair off her shoulder. “Continue north, Siiri. When the bear is ready to reveal himself, I believe he will. Then you must follow him to V?in?moinen.”

“Continue north but find the bear I left in the south? That’s all you can give me?”

“That... and this.” The goddess flicks her hand, and Halla grunts. My eyes widen as I take in how much heavier her packs have suddenly become. Now the poles of a tent emerge from the back of her harness. “Supplies for your journey,” the goddess explains. “Autumn will fade quickly, Siiri. The winter snows will be harsh. Do not tarry. Do not slacken your pace. Keep walking north. And, try very hard not to die. This will all be for nothing if you die.”

I search her ageless face. “Who are you? Are you Mielikki?”

“The Queen of the Forest has golden hair.”

“Kuutar then, goddess of the moon? No—Akka. Are you Akka?”

Her smile falls. “Stop guessing, Siiri.” She slips Halla’s lead off the branch of the tree and offers it to me. “You have less than an hour of daylight left. Start walking. And don’t die.”

I take the lead from her hand, and she steps back, leaving my way clear. I glance through the thick trees, then back to her kind face. She’s cryptic and irritating, but it’s been nice to have her company. She makes me miss the easy familiarity of walking with Aina always at my side. I’m not ready to say goodbye. “Will you not walk with me awhile? I promise I won’t try to guess your name again.”

I can see from the set of her shoulders she’s going to say no.

“This is your journey, Siiri. Whatever comes, you must stay the course and stay alive. When you begin to doubt, remember that Aina waits for you. We all do. You must not fail us.” Slowly, she raises her hand and points due north. “Siiri, go.”

Turning away from the goddess, I click at the reindeer with my tongue, and we continue north. I don’t look back over my shoulder. I don’t need to. I know the goddess is gone.