10

I step off the elevator on the top floor and make my way down the long hallway, fingers running through my hair. When I reach the door at the end, I hesitate for a moment, my hand hovering before finally knocking my knuckles against the black wood.

“It’s open!” Blaise’s deep voice echoes from inside.

I turn the handle and step in, immediately taking in the massive space. Blaise might run the Shadow Serpents MC here in Boston, but “small time” is what people say. Looking around at the sleek black walls, the towering ceilings, and the high-end furnishings, it’s clear he’s anything but. The apartment screams modern wealth—sharp, dark, and elegant, with touches of Christmas decorating every corner. A massive -foot black tree dominates the centre of the living room, standing tall in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the city’s twinkling skyline.

I move deeper into the apartment, hearing him in the kitchen, off to the right. My steps feel heavy as I make my way toward him, the usual reluctance sinking into my stomach.

When I round the corner, I catch sight of him setting down plates on the kitchen island, steam rising from a pan on the stove and I stop, observing him carefully. Blaise is tall and built—muscular, tatted up, wearing a tight black shirt and pants that show off his frame.

His long black hair is tied back in a messy manbun, and the stubble along his jaw sharpens the edges of his face. He’s older than me—closer to the age where men think about settling down, I guess. My dad swears Blaise has his life together. Says he’ll look after me. But to be honest, I always find myself comparing every guy I date to my brother. It’s a fucked-up compulsion I can’t shake.

His piercing blue eyes suddenly meet mine as he leans over the island and a small smirk tugs at his lips. He walks toward me and when he is close enough, he leans down, pressing a kiss to my cold cheek. My jaw tenses instinctively, but when he withdraws, I give a small smile.

“Looking beautiful as always.” He says, a brow raised.

I would probably be flattered if this wasn’t a forced arrangement, although I don’t know it is on his behalf, maybe it’s just business, but it's certainly not genuine either way. Blaise is a hot guy, he’s clearly loaded, he’s mature, but he just doesn’t give that spark. He can’t erase the deeply rooted feelings I have for Rook. I don’t think anyone can.

He moves around me, slipping off my jacket before placing his hand low on my back, guiding me to the island where the food is. I take a seat, slipping onto the barstool, my eyes fixed on the plate in front of me.

As he sits beside me, where he can see me, I feel his greedy eyes sweeping over me, but I don’t lift mine. I know what he wants. It’s what they always want. And every time I come here; I feel it more intensely. He wants to fuck me, but I won’t let him. I’m not prepared to jump in bed with a guy I barely know. Like it’s going to magically appear a fucking connection that’s just not there.

I told myself, if he keeps at it, if he somehow wins me over, then maybe I’ll give him what he wants. But if not, I’ll ask my dad to move on to the next. I’ll buy as much time as I can before I’m cornered with what’s coming. Marriage. Kids. Tying families together. Building bridges.

But not for me. Not for my sake. Because that’s all I fucking am, right? Just a pawn in everyone else’s game, moving toward whatever will give them more power. My happiness means fuck all.

I lift my fork and dig in, feeling his need wrapping around me, much more tightly tonight than I have ever felt when I’ve come here. Blaise is waiting—expectant, like tonight’s the night I’m just going to hand my pussy over to him like some pretty fucking gift because it’s Christmas.

At least when I gave myself to Rook, it wasn’t like this. I knew him. All of him. I watched that boy grow into a man. I saw the flaws, the darkness, the light. The tears. The pain. The joy. I witnessed it all. I knew him inside out, just as he knew me. I fucking trusted him with my life, and that’s why I gave him everything. My innocence, my body, my heart.

No one else was ever going to compare to that connection. Brother or not, I didn’t fucking care anymore. I loved him too much to let anyone taint that night. Yeah, it caused an uproar, but it’s ours. No one can take it away from us. It’s solidified in stone and engraved in our souls.

It’s just… Complicated.

As I take a bite of food, chewing slowly, I start thinking about the first time he ever ramped up the tension between us and the first time I caved. It was the year before we fucked in that cabin, when he took my virginity. It was Christmas eve, and I had been ice-skating on the lake near our home...