37. Alec

37

ALEC

I sprinted through the cemetery wearing only my coat and the scraps of my clothing. The woods called to me, beckoning me with the secrets I’d kept from myself.

My lungs hurt. I couldn’t breathe. Branches whipped against my flesh, the leaves and rocks bruising my feet as I went further between the trees.

Finally, I made it to the circle of stones and fell to the centre on all fours, dragging in icy air as the memories assaulted me. The wind howled through the trees, screaming with me as I wailed in pain and confusion.

The past was scratching at my mind, tearing open all of the hidden scars, forcing them to bleed anew.

“How could this be?” I rasped. “How could I be a monster?”

How could you not be?

The voice that had always followed me, the one I’d ignored for so long—I heard it now. No longer a dark whisper, but my own voice.

It didn’t belong to a demon, a god, or a devil.

It belonged to me.

The memory of my mother flooded me first. I dug my fingers into the earth, gasping as my nails began to elongate, sharp talons long and horrifying. I ripped off my coat and clothing, baring myself completely to the forest. I held up my arm, trembling as my skin rippled, hardening before my eyes as it became something more akin to bark. My muscles burned as I started the change, but this time I was fully aware of every knife-like pain, of the way my eyesight became sharp and my sense of smell became stronger.

“No,” I groaned. “ No .”

My head became heavier as horns grew from my skull. Vines extended from me, rippling as I arched, growing until I was a beast.

I was the dark monster who had been thwarting me.

I’d sabotaged myself. I’d done it all. All of the anger and rage I’d felt countless times, the forgetting to lock the conservatory door, ruining the saplings—it was me .

It started a long, long time ago. I let out a broken shout as I remembered what Nora asked me.

Could I ever feel love?

The answer was yes.

The night of the dinner party flooded my mind.

Blood wet the stones, seeping into the cracks where moss embedded itself, streaming down the steps like a cursed crimson river. A crushed skull was smattered beneath my claws, a body now marred by my violence and hunger.

What is this?

It was my meal. It wasn’t human, though. I did not feast on humans unless they were sacrificed to me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I whispered to myself, my voice deep and gravely.

The spires of St. Thorn’s jutted into the clear night sky, the full moon haloing their cold stone. Vines crept from me, wrapping around the body and dragging it behind me as I left the maze for the forest in the distance. The trees were a dark line in the distance, all encompassing of the land. I passed the tower, empty and lonely as always.

Even from this distance, I could hear the voices of the returned faculty in the hall. The three month reprieve from them hadn’t been enough. I would need to be more careful now in order to avoid discovery.

I left a trail of red as I entered the woods. I ran the tip of my tongue over my sharp teeth.

A high pitched scream split the night. I paused, looking in the direction of it. I shouldn’t go there.

I should stay away.

Her voice came again, calling to me. She wasn’t at the hall with the rest of the faculty. She was in the woods.

My body moved closer, slinking with a silence that had taken me years to master. I left my meal in a bush and continued on, going deeper and deeper, weaving my way closer to where I could hear her. Firelight danced between the trunks, slivers shining as I came closer and closer, only stopping when I was at the edge of the clearing, unperceived but able to observe.

There was a circle of stones in the middle where they left humans at times. I’d never caught them in the act, though. Most of their rituals took place when the sun was about to rise and I always returned to hiding before the skies turned.

Three men wearing animal skulls and black robes dragged a woman forward, but she fought. Her rage was apparent, and she was stronger than she looked. Her long hair unravelled as she screamed, curling down her back. Even fighting, she moved with grace. She threw a punch and I heard one of the men’s noses crunch from the force.

She knew how to fight, which would have worked in her favour if she weren’t so outnumbered.

“I’m just a psychologist! Why are you doing this? Is this some sort of haze ? —”

Her eyes burned in the firelight as she knocked one of their masks free, raking her hands over his cheek. He shouted a curse, releasing her.

“You bitch!”

She was ensnared again, those around her fighting to drag her forward to the stones. I could feel her the closer she came to them, the thrashing of her heart, the scent of her fear. “Let me go! Don’t you know who I am?”

“We do,” one of the men snickered. “The last of your blood.”

Save her. I ignored the plea in my mind.

“Are you sure we should do this?” one of the men asked another.

He gave a shrug. “We had our instructions—fuck!”

The woman managed to get free and steal a knife from one of their cloaks. She drove the blade into one man’s stomach and he doubled over, crying out. Blood splashed to the ground, the smell making my mouth water.

Save her.

Once again, he asked. I hesitated still, not wishing to mix with humans. They were violent roaches that ruined everything they touched.

The two remaining men lunged for her, but she was fast and she was feral. She was surviving on pure instinct, her scent more alluring than fresh blood. She managed to stab one of them in the thigh and he went down, but the other tackled her to the ground.

I’d seen him before. He was the one who always led the hunts and sacrifices, thirsty for power and pain. I growled, creeping closer as the two fought.

Save her!

The voice was a roar. The part of me that usually remained dormant was communicating with me for the first time in a long time, with a growing sense of urgency that I couldn’t ignore much longer. I stood still for a moment as I watched.

A deep rumble left me.

She belongs to us.

A growl left me and I moved forward in a blur, vines exploding from me. The ground groaned as it moved with me, darkness swirling in long tendrils as I emerged from the forest, becoming the demon these wretched bastards had planned to sacrifice her to.

Their screams brought me joy. It had been too long since I’d hunted this way and I enjoyed their fear. I enjoyed the way they stared at me as they bled into the ground.

I ripped the man off her and threw him to the side. He rolled and hit his head hard enough that he was dazed. She screamed, but my vines were already wrapping around her body, drawing her into me. Her warmth permeated through the coldness I felt, her heart beating so wildly that I wished to calm her.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed. She was panting, her hair wild and full of leaves and brambles.

We stared at each other. I’d never been this close to a human unless they were dead.

They felt much different alive.

I swallowed hard, drawing her closer until her face was level with mine.

She wasn’t scared of me. Why wasn’t she scared of me?

“Do you wish to kill them?” I asked her.

Something dark and violent flashed within her gaze. The fire continued to flicker, embers floating through the air as I ignored the moans around us.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Do you know how?” I asked.

She nodded and I released her, watching in amazement as she stumbled forward. She yanked the knife from one man’s thigh, his cries echoing through the forest. She shoved him back and ran the blade through his heart, and then tore it free.

“No!” The other man yelled. “No! She’s your sacrifice! She’s your sacri ? —”

His words were drowned in blood as she ran the blade through his neck. The gurgling sounds reminded me of a creek in the night, water flowing over rocks. Their blood drenched her clothes, her skin, her hair as she murdered each one of them, her chest heaving with heated pants.

“They said they would sacrifice me,” she rasped. “They said…”

Her voice started to shake and I felt rage. I felt rage that she had been dragged out here, that they’d said they would hurt her.

“I will take care of the other one,” I promised her. “And I will make sure it’s slow.”

She nodded as she slowly slid off the dead man’s body. “Oh gods,” she whispered. “I’ve ruined my life. What do I do?”

“Why aren’t you scared of me?” I asked as I moved towards her.

She looked up at me, taking me in. “You weren’t the one who was about to sacrifice me. Are you going to kill me?”

“Are you going to kill me? You’re the one holding a knife.”

She smiled.

And as I came back to the present, I realised it was that exact moment that I fell in love with Nora Woulfe. That was the moment I even realised I was capable of love.

And that when I’d said I would do anything for her, I meant it.

Even if it meant realising I was the monster. For years there had been a wall between the two parts of myself, but she had taken it down brick by brick.

That night was clear now. In her panic, we’d done something so reckless.

She’d been mine since the very start of this all.

“Nora.”