35. Alec

35

ALEC

Over the next couple days, Nora and I fell into another strange routine. Instead of sleeping at the greenhouse, I found myself in her bed each night. The classes went by quicker each day, and part of me kept expecting the Dean to confront me.

Tonight, I’d be away from her. I felt a flinch of guilt over not telling her where I would be, but I needed to take care of these issues before it grew out of control.

Louis Brown.

He was like a weed. One that kept sprouting back up no matter how many times I pruned it.

The bastard had been problematic for weeks now. I was done. If he were wise, he would have never tried to warn me away from Nora, nor would he have broken into my greenhouse. I still didn’t understand why the knife might have ended up there in the first place, but it was.

Nora was right about them potentially blaming me.

I needed it to be late before confronting him, though, so I made my way through the greenhouse. It wouldn’t be too much longer before the sun completely set.

I checked on all of my plants and settled in at my desk, pulling out the top drawer.

The journal that Nora mentioned a few days ago was there, but I didn’t recall the pages she’d spoken about. Heat prickled along the back of my neck as I drew it out and opened it.

Some of the notes I recognized, but some I didn’t. And the handwriting was different from my own.

What am I?

The question was becoming harder to ignore. I expected the voice in my head to answer, but it was silent.

I paused when I came to the page on Nora.

As she had said, there were details about her and her family here. Only, I didn’t know anything about her before she came to St. Thorn. Aside from what Jacob had told me and the research I’d done, I’d never heard of the Woulfe family before now.

I traced a fingertip over the ink strokes.

I was going to drive myself insane.

I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes as I racked my mind for memories. I clawed at the shadows, needing to find what was lost.

Do not.

“I must,” I whispered.

The longer I sifted through my thoughts, the further away everything felt. I listened to the sound of the fountain, peaceful despite the way I felt. Frustration made me grit my teeth and I opened my eyes.

I needed to speak to Louis.

The Hunt knew things about Nora, and I was beginning to suspect they knew things about me too. Things that even I didn’t know.

That simply wouldn’t do.

If they were hiding things, I needed to know what they were. For too long, I’d turned a blind eye to whatever occult horseshit the Dean involved himself in.

But if it hurt Nora too, I especially needed to find out what was happening.

The philosopher was in for a horrible night. And if he didn’t work out, then I would go to Harold. And then the Dean.

I would tear every single one of them apart until I found the truth.

They would not be able to hide from me.

I leaned over and pulled out the bottom drawer of my desk. At the very back was a small box with five vials inside. I withdrew one and slipped it into my pocket.

The last few days, I’d allowed myself to become distracted by Nora. I drew in a deep breath as I centred myself, shifting all of my thoughts to the task before me.

I snuffed out the candle on my desk and wove through the darkness, stepping outside. I took the path that led inside the university in case it rained. The halls were silent aside from my steps. I steered clear of the study rooms.

The row of professor housing was quiet. By the time I made it to the street, I was tempted to stop by mine just to make sure everything was untouched. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d visited, though, and didn’t care to break the streak.

Instead, I went up the steps to Louis’ townhouse. I knocked on the front door three times.

I slipped my hands behind my back as I waited for Louis to come to the front door, glancing up as the thunder rumbled above. It felt poetic in a way, knowing that he was about to open the door to his murderer.

Finally, Louis opened it slowly and peeked out. He then filled the doorway, his arms crossed. “What an unpleasant surprise,” he said dryly. “What can I do for you, Briar? ”

“I wanted to see if we could talk,” I said pleasantly, laying the charm on thick.

Nora had asked me if I ever lied. She also asked me if I was charming. And right now, I was. It was difficult for him to understand, I could see him, wondering if that was a trick of sorts. But I was able to make it feel genuine, as always.

“Please,” I added. “It won't take too long.”

He hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. “Fine. Yes, come in.”

I stole one last glance down the row of professors' housing. If anyone was watching us, I didn’t spot them.

The grounds keeper had made me paranoid.

I stepped inside and he shut the door. “I guess I should offer you tea, shouldn’t I?”

“Tea would be pleasant,” I said.

My fingertips itched as he walked down the hall, the thought of strangling him exciting me. But I needed information first.

“You can wait in the parlour,” he said, gesturing to the right to an open room. “And you can leave your coat on the rack.

“Of course,” I said.

I shucked it off and hung it on a hook. Then, I stepped into the room and took it all in. All of the colours were dark burgundies, browns, and forest greens. There was an oil painting of a sailboat over open water on the mantle above the fireplace, stacks of books on the floor. I crept towards one of the plush chairs and took a seat, noting what he was reading. It wasn’t just a book on philosophy, there was also one on the occult too.

Louis came back a few moments later with two cups of tea. He sat them on the table next to me and took the other chair opposite. Embers crackled in the hearth, casting a soft glow over us and deepening the shadows of the parlour.

“Do you have any sugar?” I asked.

He looked horrified for a second and then stood up with a grunt, heading back for the kitchen. I took the moment to reach into my pocket and draw out a vial, putting three drops of the clear liquid into his tea.

I capped it and pocketed it right as he returned with sugar cubes. He sat them down on the table and I dropped one into my tea, waiting for the granules to dissolve.

He lifted his cup and took a sip. Good. “Why are you here? We do not like each other,” he said.

“We don’t. I’m here for a few reasons,” I said. I leaned back and balanced my ankle on my knee, sinking into the chair. “Why was Nora brought to the university?”

“How do you mean?” he asked. Another sip.

I fought a smile. “What does she have to do with The Hunt?”

Louis stared at me for a moment and then snorted, setting his cup down on the table. Golden light highlighted the blonde stubble on his jaw, his blue eyes piercing.

I wondered what those eyes would look like with no life left in them.

“I can’t tell you. You know that. It would be a violation of our rules. The fact that you’re even aware of us but not one of us is problematic.”

“I’d like to do this the easy way, Louis,” I said. “So I suggest you break your absurd rules and tell me.”

“Or what?”

I offered him a cold smile. The scent of sweat grew stronger. I could almost hear his heart beating. These were the moments that I enjoyed the most. Cornering my prey and watching them realise there was no way out, no matter how hard they fought. I ignored the rush of arousal, the power intoxicating.

“Are you the one that killed John?”

“No,” I said. “That wasn’t me. And if you truly thought so, why did you let me into your home late on a stormy night where no one could hear you scream? Now, tell me why they brought Nora here.”

Kill him. He found the knife.

I will, I answered.

“What?” Louis asked.

“Did I say that aloud?” I asked.

“You will do what?”

I sighed and leaned forward. “Tell me or I will make your death very very slow. You just ingested a poison that will take some time to work into your system but once it does, you will die slowly and painfully. I have the antidote.”

His mouth fell open, his eyes widening. He looked down at his tea, horrified.

“Oh, come now,” I sighed. “Don’t look so surprised. I didn’t kill John, but I’ve killed plenty of others. Now, fucking tell me, or you will die. They will not be able to trace the cause, either.”

“You son of a bitch,” he snarled.

Sweat broke out across his forehead, his hands trembling. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the same vial, leading him to believe it was the antidote.

There was no antidote for this.

“Give it to me!” he shouted, lunging for it.

I shoved him back into his chair and closed my hand around the vial. “I will shatter it. Tell me, Louis. Or you will die.”

His cheeks turned red. “She was meant to die! She was meant to be a sacrifice, but she was spared.”

“Nora?” I asked sceptically. “Sacrificed to who?”

“The monster who follows her,” he rasped. “The same one that The Dean believes killed his son. ”

“Who is the monster?”

He was silent, his cheeks paling. I didn’t want to hear it, but I refused to let him remain silent.

“Tell me,” I snarled. I leaned in close, my face hovering right in front of his.

His breaths quickened as he held my gaze, his entire body shaking. “You are,” he whispered. “You are him. You are the monster.”

I was no longer in control. Something snapped within me, and I felt as though I were in a dream, seeing everything from inside again. From a place where I was only a witness to what was happening.

I roared in pain as my body stretched and snapped, muscles and sinew breaking, bones crunching. The shadows grew longer as Louis screamed, his voice growing louder as I changed .

Vines slithered across the floor, knocking over stacks of books as they wound up the chair and around his legs and body. We bound him in place, lowering our face to his. The monster took over completely, leaning in closer as we bared our fangs.

“Why would you sacrifice her to me?”

He was trembling. Tears fell down his cheeks and the scent of piss filled the air.

“We always sacrifice to you,” he whispered. “It’s how… I didn’t know it was you. I only know rumours.”

“Tell me,” I snarled.

“It’s to keep you in control. It’s to keep you human. Years ago, The Hunt found if they sacrificed humans to our god, then our god could walk amongst us. I only heard about him, I didn’t know it was you . Let me go, Alec. Please, I’m begging you.”

A low laugh left us. “No. As if I would ever allow you to live after this.”

“But this is all her fault?— ”

We leaned forward, curling our long claws around his short neck. We squeezed, choking his works from him.

“Go on,” we said. “How is it her fault?”

“ You spared her ? — ”

We pierced his throat with a sharp claw, watching as his expression morphed with pain and horror. Blood dripped from him as the claw went clean through.

“Say your prayers, human, and hope whatever god you believe in will rescue your damaged soul.”

His screams became garbled as we tore into him. We plunged our hand into his chest cavity and grabbed hold of his beating heart, pulling it free with ease.

The light left his eyes, his body going limp. We’d been kind by making it quick.

Nora, Nora, Nora.

We were doing this for her. To protect her. The knife had been found and they could not blame her. If they did, things would go very very wrong.

Our sharp teeth pierced the still throbbing organ, fresh blood gushing into our mouth. We drank from it, a soft groan leaving us as our hunger was satiated.

Blood filled our stomach as we dropped the organ then drained his body, our vines squeezing him until he was empty.

We didn’t stop until every drop was gone and we were satiated.

What is happening?

I blinked, my vision darkening for a moment as I came to. I was kneeling on the floor, blood covering my clothes.

How?

“What the fuck?” I rasped.

I fell back, staring at the carcass before me. The fire had long since died, the light of morning fluttering into the room through sheer curtains.

What had I done? What had…

I didn’t feel remorse, but I did feel confusion. Snippets of all that had transpired came to mind, blurring together like watercolour portraits. I shook my head, my body aching.

The intention to kill Louis had been there, but not like this.

Louis’ body had similar wounds to John’s.

I continued to stare, trying to understand what happened. Everything felt like a dream. Walking through the front door, poisoning him. But then everything went dark… Only I remembered some things. Things that weren't done by me.

But done by us.

“What is happening to me?” I whispered.

Had the demon bite a few weeks ago turned me into a monster? Maybe the change took place then. It was the only thing I could think of, but then again, once Nora had pointed out the memory gaps that she experienced, I'd started to think about that more too.

I was always working. Always searching for the poison. Always wishing to hunt down the monsters and kill them.

But what if I was one of them?

To be a monster would be my own worst nightmare. Doubting my own humanity, something I’d never done, it was enough to tear me apart.

Sharp pain struck my skull. I gasped, rolling over onto all fours. There was a wall between me and the truth, and I did not want to break it down. In fact, I wished that I never would've met Nora.

But it was too late for that now.

I had to hide the body. That would be the easiest way to at least keep the dean and the rest of The Hunt off my trail.

Find the knife.

“Get out of my head!” I shouted.

A soft chuckle followed.

Nora’s questioning came to mind.

She knew what I was. She’d seen it, but hadn’t told me.

“Am I the monster?” I whispered.

Yes.

“No,” I breathed out. “ No, no, no. ”

I stood and stumbled through the house to the mirror down the hall. I stood in front of it, staring in horror as my eyes glowed. His eyes glowed.

Shadows clung to me like sap, clinging around my body. My mind was shattering like glass, cracks splintering through the foundation I’d built everything on.

It’s too late now, Alec. We are one.